Wonkette
You sure look proud, you swollen little vulgarian. We liked conservatives a lot better when they went to church and didn’t walk around in public flashing cartoon porn at everybody. Enjoy your life on welfare! [via Rumproast]
TOMORROW'S WINGNUTS TODAY
Vulgar Fat Child Attends Teabagging Rally
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General what??? What the fuck does that say? well, he doesn’t look all that fat
What’s with the antenna on his head?
its so cute when we impose out beliefs on our children, then take them out of school to protest the money that goes to educate him
No doubt he is home schooled.
“Prix”? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Retard.
Why that child looks like he/she is well on it’s way to a case of Type 2 Diabetes! i sure hope they have health insurance.
But what lies atop those two tantalizing antennae? Dollar Signs? Rubber dildos? Testes? WILL WE EVER KNOW?!!1!
Family values, we has them!
Classy. Way to school your childrenz in civil discourse, Amurrica!
I see some pirates–it’s time for Hussein Nobama to call in an airstrike.
Oh, wait. Does he mean “prix,” as in the French word for “price”? So this little teabagger is a Frenchman? Yeah. That makes perfect sense.
Why, oh WHY are conservatives so in love with shitty “plays on words” and catchphrases? Their assault against humor has become the most offensive part of their whole political machine.
This intolerable little shit realizes his parents just got a tax cut, right?
He’ll meet up with that smarmy kid who was a big hit at CPAC and they’ll wind up being closet gay married.
This kid will be the bottom.
loquaciousmusic: Some sort of penis reference I suppose. These kids are growing up so fast today!
i bet this kid gets the shit beat out of him at home-school.
Looks like a youngish Newell.
NotNotLickingToads: That said, I guess that the kid has pretty much reached the zenith of cleverness in his party. He can just coast on this level of joke-making for the rest of his natural life.
Take it easy on Little Debbie there guys, s/he can’t read and was told the box said, “Will suck old republican cock for $50.”
Is that Ted Kennedy I see on that box of cereal? DON’T YOU KNOW HE HAS CANCER KID OMG DAVID DENBY IS GOING TO HAVE YOUR ASS FOR THIS!11!1!!
Gayz woulda never let their spawn leave the house like this.
Eff you, Ron Howard!
Radioactive Horror Snake: All he knows is that if things go well at the protest, there’s an extra scoop of Hamburger Helper in his trough tonight.
To be fair he was only holding the box because his parents told him he could eat the cereal when he got home.
He best be homeschooled. That smirk would get him his ass kicked every day in a setting with his peers.
Radioactive Horror Snake:
No, you see in their fantasy world, they may one day (never) earn over $250,000/year so in that far-off place in their tiny brain, they think they are being overtaxes on earnings they will never make.
The logic is flawless.
Snerdley: “General Morons.”
It’s the empty self-satisfaction on his face that really bothers me.
But the blame clearly lies with the parents - I know cause dad totally inspired my homemade “Just Say No Dukakis in 88″ button.
This is just good advertising, folks. They figured the best way to draw a huge crowd of Republicans was to put out word that there was a 12 year old boy there holding up a huge photo of Prix.
I like the “Parking in Rear” sign a wonkette operative left. I think it was Custerwolf.
Young man, I’m former Congressman Mark Foley. Ever visited a FEMA reeducation camp?
NoWireHangers: I had a mouthful of popcorn as I was reading that. You owe me a new laptop screen.
My favorite IRL teabagger troll.
(Other than the activities of our Wonkette Eds.)
If a boy looking like that stays in the Republican party you can bet he’ll end up with a mouth full of prix before too long
Bumper sticker:
My child’s an in-bred, bed-wetting, redneck.
That smug smile that only comes from “Home skuling” will remain on his face till he is forced to go to a public high school, declares that The Flintstones was a documentary in science class and then is harshly mocked.
One more time.
I agree with the chick in the background who’s carrying the “NO OUTLET” sign.
I know this isn’t going to be popular…but does anybody else find it a tiny bit slimy that somebody asked this kid to pose for a picture (and he is a child), probably made him feel like he was pretty special getting his picture taken by the media, then posted in online so the rest of us could mock him?
I agree with mercilessly mocking adults, but the kids….not so much.
Though the parents who bring the kids to these things and give them the stupid signs, THEY should be publically shamed and forced to stand in the corner with a dunce cap made of tea-bags.
AKAM80TheWolf: Whenever I point this out this failure in logic to the local morans, the reply is inevitably, “When was the last time a poor guy ever offered you a job?” I had two of them defending the fact that CEO’s make, on average, 262 times what the average worker makes. “They work harder and don’t always get to leave at 5:00″. Seriously. One of them said that. I just hope the stupid isn’t contagious because I fought with them for hours yesterday.
The little bastard should be sent for a weeklong visit with Uncle Bad Touch.
These people. The punny, photoshoppy jokes are never enough. They have to go for the antennae, too.
Custerwolf: You know, that’s not a box….if you look closely that picture is framed. How would you like to see the rest of the art in that kid’s house?
Dave J.:
Even better: holding a box of Prix!
This kid needs the Gabriel Method.
Can we pre-enroll him into the Armed Services? Looks like a young Dewey Oxburger.
hockeymom: I’m betting he learned an invaluable lesson that day.
ManchuCandidate: your age is showing.
hockeymom: Nope, don’t feel bad at all. I knew a lot of kids like this guy when I was growing up, and guess what? They are all smug, entitled, assholes now, exactly like older versions of their 12 year old selves.
Anyone who took anyone under the age of 18 to the Moron Parties on April 15 should be investigated by the Department of Mental Health, by Child Protective Services, and by the Department of Health and Human Services.
And any child who attended one of the Moron Parties should be immediately mentally cleansed in a meeting with James Carville, Donna Brazile, Bill Clinton, Barbra Streisand and Steven Spielberg!
Custerwolf: She recently read American Psycho and it just came to her.
SmutBoffin: Brilliant.
Now, is there any difference at all between this and my parents pulling me out of (public) school a couple days a year to go march in picket lines and anti-reagan mobilizations?
Of course. First off, I got to make my own signs. Which was awesome for me and resulted in MUCH more photogenic signage. I’m sure I was 10 times more persusasive with a my hand crayoned sign asking Mr. Raygun to not take my school lunch then this smug little shit.
Also the fact my parents were, ya know, right…
At long last, the people who went to the Sara Palin rallies last October have something to do…
Wow, it’s going to be funny in a few years when he tries to get pussy because he looks like Spaulding Smails from Caddyshack.
Why is it that all wingnut children are of indeterminate gender? Is it the home schooling or the flowbee haircut, I wonder?
There are so many trademark violations on that douchy sign, but alas and alack, the First Amendment/parody defense might get this pathetic kid and his grim parents off from several charges of implied endorsement, sponsorship or association.
The ASSociation part surely resonates.
Isn’t there some child abuse here, what with the… ummmmm, language? Boy, if the tables were turned and this was a protest from the other end of the political spectrum, the howls from the narrow-minded hoards.
Holy hell someone took the time and effort to FRAME that. Shame on his parents for having him hold something so crude and vulgar and pose for pictures with it. That’s disgusting. They make baby Jesus cry. If this is their family values, I’ll keep my own, thanksverymuch.
Twatwaffles.
SmutBoffin:
Oh, God yes.
That fat little fuck is going to need those free stem cells inside when the diabeetus gits him.
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!: HEY NOW!
Actually I’d just finished putting up my last “Paint Ball Field Now Open” sign when I got busted and ushered out of the area post-haste.
hockeymom:
I’m betting that he’s already used to strangers asking him to take “fun” photos of him already.
DollarStorePregnancyTest:
I’m not Flintstones old, but close.
Ken, check’s in the mail.
Okay, I know the bedrock of the US American politics and the conservative end thereof hath always and ever been the uneducated lumpenbourgeoisie…
But were they always so lumpen and uneducated as this?
Anyway, let’s get this kid a congressional page gig, stat!
pat robertsons personal trainer:
subtle win. +1
Is there ever any skinny people at these rallies? I could understand if they were protesting a fat tax which is exactly what they need.
Ever since I became a parent I have been uber-protective of children. That said, I would run over that kid in my riding lawn mower, back up, do it again, then turn on the mulching tool for added fun.
By the way, there’s a new student at my daughter’s middle school. He’s 14 and his mother insisted he should be in all Pre-AP classes. They put him there pending testing to see if he’s truly that bright and capable.
Well, daughter reports his lack of knowledge and skills at….anything….are so horrific the other kids don’t even know what to do with him. Or say to him. He can’t write. I don’t mean he can write badly. He CANNOT write anything beyond his name, printed in a psychotic little scrawl. He can barely read.
His mother also wanted him to take two math courses instead of science. Uh, no can do, there are certain requirements.
A friend of mine who teaches there said he’s reading on about a second grade level and can just perform the most basic arithmetic. His peers are either in pre-Algebra or Algebra. He couldn’t pronounce the word.
People, if you’re going to homeschool, don’t forget the “school” part, kay? The poor thing had no idea how much he didn’t know until the last week, which has probably been sort of hellish for him. He’s not only going to be pulled from Pre-AP classes, he will most likely be placed one grade level down and in remedial classes. Good job, mom. God forbid he should go to evil public schools and, you know, learn.
Dave J.: win!
Why are these people mad? Reagan had higher corporate taxes and higher taxes on the wealthy than Obama has right now. That kid’s cereal box makes me want to bite his ankles! RAWWwrrWWrRAWARWRWWRRRRrr
Well, Prix is for Kids, as the saying goes (ask your local priest or preacher-man).
That little tard might get more than he bargained for going around advertising that Prix are for kids at this sort of Republican gathering.
Prix are for kids, silly wingnuts.
That’s actually a 1973 picture of Glenn Beck as a child. And what’s that brown shit all over his left thumb?
Oh.
Also, trondant: HAHA.
I just want us all to remember:
This lame-ass thing was billed by Fox News (you know … when they weren’t *promoting* it, only *reporting* on it … before it had happened … God forbid that they lie or do anything *unethical*!!) as “The Largest Protest in American History”!
What’d it get, nationwide, total? 50,000?
I’ve gone to *parties* — all in one place — that attracted that many people, for fuck’s sake.
Do the Teabaggers remember pooh-poohing the *actual* millions that protested the Iraq War?
Probably not.
They were all snoozin’ then, ’cause … the President was still White, so they figured they didn’t have to pay attention to where our money was going, or what was happening to their taxes or their mortgages or their standard of living.
Please, any of you who have the stomach to visit their little web hellholes like RedState — remind them what a fucking utter failure this “action” was. And yes, we’re not interested in abridging their right to protest! In fact, *PLEASE*!!! More protests just like this, please! We really need the laughs.
Righties, you may listen to Uncle Glenn for reassuring fairy tales all you like, but remember: we surround you, too. That’s how we legally won the election, fair and square. Now suck on it.
badmuthagoose: Not surprising to hear this. My wife teaches at a local elementary school, and is constantly telling me stories of amusing wingnut parents who get all upset because the school is forcing their kid to do something they don’t like, and the way they retaliate for this is by pulling the kid out of school and saying they’re going to “homeschool” him. Of course, the kid is already neglected as it is, and both parents work, etc. so there’s clearly no time or inclination to actually educate him. The weird thing is that these parents are the exact same folks who insist that their kid is a complete genius, and that all the tests that reveal him to be needing some special services are wrong, etc. Really depressing stuff.
Looks like we had a simultaneous advertising nostalgic moment.
I predict Cindy will lose her virginity to this little Prix.
Of course it’s a chocolate cereal. Little racist.
Wascally Wingnut…
The child has blue jeans on. Where’s your Messiah now, George Will?
I thought liberally sugar-coated bullshit puffs were what they served at jesus camp.
It’s the smug mockery of stem cell research that gets to me. I only wish the damn things really were free, as I’m paying out the wazoo for them right now.
BadKitty: Ya know, I don’t really mind that someone makes a boatload of money, just as long as they 1) earn it, and 2) pay commensurate taxes on it - no more tax-loopholes, Cayman Islands secret accounts, and no CEO should be able to get away with paying less in taxes than his secretary, as Warren Buffet claims to do.
AKAM80TheWolf: Prix. As in, eat a bag of.
Has anyone established what that little bastard is wearing on his head?
BipartisanFizgig: These people are actually mad because the President isn’t white. Everything else is unconvincing rationalization, from what I can tell.
As for homeschooling: I had a home-schooled coworker a few years ago who came to us reading and writing at a 2nd-grade level … at age 21. She was downright charming with the public, though, and fundamentally bright and hungry to learn and totally honest about her deficits, so … we trained her in retail and front desk.
She started teaching herself to read.
In two years, she has advanced to reading and writing at the 10th or 11th grade level, from about 2nd or 3rd grade level. Her math (she’s good with money, as it turns out) is now as good as math gets without algebra.
She is now hoping to get her GED and go to college. I think she’ll make it.
Yes, her parents were right-wing Fundamentalist chicken-ranchers from some little burg up near Modesto. She still loves them, but considers her “education” to have been a form of child abuse.
Dave J.: +1
I think that is a very short lesbian.
I’d like to see the free market do its job when General Mills sues the living fuck out of this kid
Bearbloke: I’m so with you on this! Sure, earn all the money you want! But *earn* it, jackoff. And pay your taxes.
One of the dumbest reasons I’ve read yet, from some Teabagger, about the horrible effects of the Obama Tax Increase on the Rich is that … it will only further encourage the rich to illegally hide *ALL* their money from us in Switzerland and the Cayman Islands, instead of just most of it, so we’ll actually experience a net *loss* in collected taxes. We need to Make Nice with them or they’ll take their footballs and go home.
hockeymom: Nope, I don’t find it slimy. I feel oppressed by our ridiculous laws that prohibit me from throwing the little shit head first into a trash can.
The little fucker has the shoulders of Ann Coulter.
iolanthe: I did the math - according to figured reported in the paper this morning, a total of 0.01125% of my Northeastern state’s population attended the teabaggin’ partiez here. That’s about the percentage of the vote that the Libertarian Party gets here in statewide races, and I suspect a Venn diagram of teabaggers and LP voters would show a large intersection between the two.
Yep. Biggest grass-roots protest EVAR. Never mind 50,000+ at many of Barry’s late campaign rallies or 3 million on Inauguration Day ‘09 - that was child’s play compared to the FIERCE ROAR of the teabaggers yesterday!
this little fuck would last about four minutes in my daughters “inner-city school’ good luck buddy, yer gonna need it.
Are we sure this is a little boy? I think it might be a girl who also gets a home haircut…maybe during home recess…
BigDupa: Except he’s apparently swallowing pizzas, sans the aggression.
So did they not disengage the crane that lowered him there for a reason?
This boy aint got no prix coz he’s a she!
I thought it was a girl. What’s with the girl’s jacket? Hand-me-downs? Isn’t that just another word for socialized garments?
Retired Mommy speaking here:
Oh, the kid isn’t all that fat. Part of that is Jacket. Kids his age (10?) sometimes bulk up right before the growth spurt anyway.
And (forgive me), I actually think it’s cool that his folks are letting him exercise his First Amendment Rights, and teaching him about Protest. I just wonder if he (or they) realize(s) that folks who disagree with them get to do this too?
He simply doesn’t know any better.
I was raised by very religious Goldwater, Nixon, and Reagan freaks, one of whom was an ex-Communist, who hallucinated Communists everywhere.
In my teens, I had to attend VIVID (Victory in Vietnam Insteada Defeat) rallies with my Dad, who also signed me up for YAF (Young Americans for Freedom). He expected me to help infiltrate Hippie Gatherings. (If “hanging out and getting high as fuck” = “infiltrating”, then … Mission Accomplished!) Later in life, during a period of brief repentance from my hippiehood, I spent 10+ years as a member of Focus on the Family.
But I got over it. Reality collided with what I’d been taught. That may well happen to Little Smuggy McSmuggersons here, too. It certainly happened to me, my Hoam Skool friend, and thousands, maybe millions, of others.
We can hope.
iolanthe: that’s the same brilliant argument made by our pre-black president. the rich dodge their taxes, so we’ll just save them the trouble by not taxing them on the front end. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/8/10/85654/8173
Later he will realize that his extreme social insecurity and resentment are better channeled into domestic violence rather than sexual and execretory puns. Someone’s really going to wish he had stuck to working out “Queer-ker Oats” jokes instead.
iolanthe: The kid still looks fat to me. Fat and inbred.
This looked my christian gun-nut neighbor’s kid who runs around calling everyone jews and “negroids.” That’s before he got arrested for shooting a gun in house. Assholes raising assholes in merka.
19kevin8: Cute. But, speaking from experience, the favored Drug of Abuse among Fundamentalists and Pentecostals is … donuts. Always donuts. If you belong to one of those sects, you’re supposed to be in church, like, at least 3 times a week — 5 or 6 if you’re *really* committed — and Leadership knows that if they didn’t have some fuckin’ *donuts* on hand for every occasion, the Flock would Stray … or there’d be a riot.
You would not believe the bitching whenever whoever’s stuck with Donut Duty forgets! Or (poor benighted creature) tries to bring a “healthy” snack instead. I tried that once. Once.
No sex outside of marriage.
No drinking.
No dancing.
No drugs.
No going to movies or nightclubs or comedy clubs.
Donuts is all they have left, and they make the most of it. I’m surprised they don’t “break bread” (their version of Mass/Communion) using Krispy Kremes.
That said, I still say that, for a probably home-schooled Evangelical kid, he’s not that fat.
When I was a fifth grader (during the Nixon administration), he would have been class “fat kid.” Now, he’s just the “non-morbidly-obese kid.” Kinda sad how overweight children are no longer the exception.
This he/she homer will live in a fallout shelter in the desert while my tax-schooled kid will grow up to have lots of mad monkey sex with beautiful mulatto women. I have raised my boy right.
A Better American Than YOU: If I could do it all over again, I would be having lots of mad monkey sex with beautiful mulatto women. I only wish you had been my parents…or at least one of them.
You know what? I can’t even be mad at the kid; he seems to be one of us. That’s some almost adult-level snark. All we gotta do is flip him at some point in the future. I can’t even bring myself to mock such a shining prodi…
Aahh, what the hell-
Hey, what’s up with the feelers, Fatso? Way to fag it up, Tinky Winky.
hockeymom: I feel bad for them; I really do. I’m questioning my instincts though. If it were an Iraq war protest a few years ago, would I have thought this was a terrible thing to do to a kid? Maybe not. I would have thought he was learning important lessons about democracy and dissent.
On the other hand, motives count, and it’s really, honestly sad to see all these kids being pumped full of bile and ignorance by their parents, and sent out to advertise it. They’re being used as props for their parents’ hatred and stupidity.
I sort of get how you can justify bringing a kid to a protest to show him the need to defend someone else (though not entirely — its the prop thing again. Your kid’s not old enough to make real choices about what he believes); I don’t get how you bring a kid to a protest to scream mindlessly about how you’re getting cheated and you hate everyone who’s not you.
He looks as though he is in the middle of a very satisfying bowel movement.
bitchincamaro: Perhaps that should be changed to “eat a bowl of”? Perhaps even “eat a box of”?
Those things growing out of his little (large) head are the straws left behind by Glenn Beck after he sucked his brain pan dry. I mean, come on, everybody knows that…
Also, he’s not really fat. But the blue shirt behind him to the right? Did Rush make it out of his bunker and show up at a tea party?
MarSF: Yup. Difficult to have a proper teabagging rally without a bunch of pricks just hanging around.
shortsshortsshorts: Caterpillars. Which have eaten his brain. And are now after the, uh, “Prix”.
God, I’m embarrassed even to look at the little fucker. Has the human race come to this?
NoWireHangers: I assumed he’d been impaled.
Scandinavian Fetus: YES!
Guys! Did you know Prix(tm) come with free stem cells inside! Delicious!
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!: That’s one Tommy!
:http://wonkette.com/407801/get-ready-for-sexy-teabag-parties-round-the-clock-and-coast-to-coast#comment-290047
Bitch Niggas Bitch Niggas
Family Values!!! I’ll bet his mommy and daddy are real proud of lil’ mister “bullshit puffs”.
Jesus helped him make his clever little protest sign, also.
Unpictured: Pedobear and Shotacat arguing furiously over who’s supposed to take this one.