Wonkette
Now that the cold, snowy weather is over and Washingtonians can just parade around in the freezing drizzle, everybody from Jill Biden to a certain former presidential candidate are out doing “normal people” things such as shopping and driving. And and and! Some of these brave souls have even been spotted in other cities, such as exotic and far-flung Manhattan.
Have you seen some person where you’re like, “Hey that is not a bad-looking person for their age, I wonder what is wrong with them on the inside,” and then you figure out they’re on TV all the time or they’re married to a politician? Well, there’s your answer. Email your story to tips@wonkette.com with subject line ‘Wonk’d’ to share your disappointment and misery.
Now feast your eyes and brains on these succulent reports:
- I was probably the only person who recognized Jill Biden at the Georgetown Whole Foods looking fantastic in a red frock coat over what looked to be a pink pantsuit. Much shorter in person although a great looking broad at 60-plus. The Secret Service agents were so low-key that I thought for a moment that I was mistaken until I saw the four huge SUVs parked in front.
- I saw Donald Rumsfeld (&wife) at the hockey game Sunday afternoon. He was a little over dressed in some khaki colored suit and bright tie. They were buying a soda and hot dogs. They both had the free beach towel clenched under their arms, wonder which beach they will be using them on?
- Was on two flights from Key West to DCA, through Miami, with former Clinton Press Secretary Joe Lockhart and his daughter. He looked tan and well-rested, but the Glover Park Group years haven’t done wonders for his figure.
- I was going in to the (hippie, probably communist, definitely socialist, elite, arugula &c.) co-op here in Saint Paul and at the cash machine I saw a local politician named Coleman. Sadly it was only current mayor Chris Coleman, so I just said “hi mayor” or something, as opposed to former mayor Norm Coleman, who I would have invited up to my office for a Gitmo-style chat. Oh and on election day known diaper-wearer and profanity-sayer Al Franken showed up to shake hands and win by a few votes and still not get in to the Senate, hooray!
- Manhattan - Just saw former NYC Mayor Ed Koch shuffling out of my local Midtown food establishment ‘Global Kitchen’, as I waited on line to pay for lunch. He sported a spiffy Kangol, a slow but practical gait, and was tan for some reason or another.
- My girlfriend, while running, saw Walnuts driving (I asked where his hands were on the wheel, I mean, how can he lift his arms to the steering wheel) by her yesterday on 1st St., SE heading south towards Independence. Granted, it is the Hill, so whatevs right? But WALNUTS!!!! DRIVING!!!! She did a double take and thought she recognized that guy from some episode of SNL or something, then she saw the AZ tags and confirmed it was Walnuts.
- I’ve seen Ben Stein on the GWU campus 3 times in the past 6 months, and one of the time was at the Gelman Library 24 hour starbucks.
- I was directly behind Mohammed Ali as he went through the metal detector at Washington National airport. He was in a wheelchair and helped by a small entourage. He was able to rise to his feet to shuffle slowly through the metal detector. But he was quickly helped back into his chair and whisked into the USAir Club lounge.
I decided that it would be too rude and obtrusive to bother him or take a photo. So I just gave him his space. The Homeland Security guy who checked my ID pointed him out proudly. “There’s the champ,” he said.
Ashley Biden is hot.
That is all.
That reminds me. What ever happened to Naked Bunny with a Whip?
Enjoy you last few moments of freedom, Rumsfeld, before under-cover “Guardia Civil” pull up next to you in a mini-van, stuff you in a large duffel bag, and fly you out of the country for your trial in Madrid.
Norbert’s alt-text: I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight…
…a homosexual and inter-species relationship? Shouldn’t that tear the fabric of space and time or something?!
My god these people lead dull lives!
Dr. Jill Biden is not yet 58, but is in fact very short in person.
And that, boys and girls, are where Easter eggs come from.
hahaha. Koch. Now there was an actor.
I cannot even imagine coming up with the search criteria to find that photo on Google Images. “Hm, gee, I think I need a photo of, what? I know! A horny and confused rabbit! And a chicken!”
Once again, Teh Wonkette proves why it is the best, most creative, and most bizarre, site on Ted Intertubes.
Red Zeppelin: Yes, they’re just like us, except they have money and/or power.
Am I supposed to cry while reading Wonk’d? Because something got into my eye after reading the Ali post.
Koch was without boytoy Giuliani?!!1!!!!
Teh Intertubes.
Not sure who Ted Intertubes is.
“Dear Sarah-
I was taking a stroll around West Potomac Park during my lunch break when I was stunned to come upon none other than former president Abraham Lincoln! Just cold chillin in an armchair overlooking the Reflecting Pool! He looked pretty good too, a bit peakish, and desperately needed a tan. How about that though!!!”
Dammit Sara. How’d you get that picture from my farm? Fluffy and Cornelius want to be left in peace to pursue their beautiful love that dare not speak its name.
I misread the Walnuts entry as “my girfriend, while runnig AWAY, saw Walnuts driving”
Doglessliberal: It’s my next year’s Easter card, totes!
bitchincamaro: Oooh, perfect. Bonus points for offending relatives.
“I was probably the only person who recognized Jill Biden at the Georgetown Whole Foods looking fantastic in a red frock coat over what looked to be a pink pantsuit.”
Ok, so I misread this to be JOE Biden rather than Jill. Old Joe would look spiffy in a pink pantsuit and red frock coat.
The first steps of Turducken? Turchicken? Whatever.
Terry: George Will would approve. At least it’s not DUNGAREES.
Eggs Bunnydicked.
AngryBlakGuy: Dude… the chicken’s female… and the rabbit is impossible to tell… for we sadly cannot examine its hocks via a photo-picture.
Country Club Jihadi: Twisted genius!
hockeymom: I’m right there with ya.
Country Club Jihadi:
FTW !!
I talked to Lisa Hoffman on the phone (Dustin’s wife) about doggie diarrhea. Does that count?
Could have been Walnuts’ brother driving. Was he dialing 9-11?
I call BS, there is no way some guy named Muhammad just waltzes through the metal detector without a strip search. Not in REAL ‘merica, anyway.
DagNabbit: Yes. And you would be jealous to know that I met her twice during the campaign, even chatting for a while and getting another “me + mildly famous person” picture for the archives.
Am I the only one here who’s offended by a picture of a cock wrapped in rabbit fur?
Country Club Jihadi: that’s where hollandaise comes from?
Have run into Bernie Sanders-twice!
Once in the Socialist Republic of Vermont Burlington airport.
Then last years Labor Day he walked in the Middlebury parade,
right behind the 1940ish firetruck.
Drove by Bernie Madoff’s apartment building. I know he was in there. Does it count?
I once shat something that looked and smelled like Bill Kristol. Thankfully it was silent.
i stood behind teh Ross Douthat at Yes! Organic Market on capitol hill.. he gave a big THANK YOU to the cashier in an awkwardy-loudy-dorky way.. his head is very very large.
So many crushing wins here!
And Wonk’d is usually the most boring post you’ll ever see on this fine website. You people are the True Royalty of Snark.
Didn’t read a damn word on this post —
too distracted by the hare raising cluck fuck.
I saw Senator Coleman at a 4th of July parade from a distance of least 500 yards and his teeth blinded me. The sun reflected off them, blinding 3 drivers causing at leat 16 floats to collide and fall off the bridge into the Missippi.* The teeth are even scarier in person. Al Franken, on the other hand, is a great guy and his wife saved my partner when she got heat stroke and almost vomitted on the mayor.
*This part is not exactly true. The rest is.
Doglessliberal: Former Senator from Alaska…
Country Club Jihadi: After sounding it out like a retarded dyslexic, I finally breezed through it a 4th time - now I get it!! Nicely done.
Now I know where the “Why did the dead bunny cross the road?” joke came from.
(
It was stapled to the chicken)
Oprah kissed my baby.
Keith Olbermann’s doppelgänger rides the 5:20 Penn Line MARC express from DC to West Baltimore pretty regularly. I have a hard time not staring at him (he’s almost always in car #2, in case you want to see him too), as the resemblance is remarkable.
Chris Cuomo used to bring his adorable JRT puppy “Jane” into the Manhattan vet clinic where I worked. He was such a nice charming guy, and so much in love with his sweet puppy. He also had great sense of humor. The story has a sad ending, so let’s not go there.