Wonkette
What’s that old saying about the guys who hate the gays so much? Something like “the intensity of your closet homosexuality equals the intensity of your homophobia.”
EXAMPLE, here. So, while we are supposed to be responsible and not laugh at the idea of, say, Rick Perry having sex with a woman, ever, because he is most obviously a terrible self-hating “RINO” fag, the Wingnuts can only think of a certain openly gay and very powerful congressman in terms of this congressman somehow sneaking into a medical clinic to illicitly perform sexy prostate exams on the fat asses of Wingnuts. Spooky. (Thanks to Wonkette Operative “Martinette” for this fabulous photo from the St. Paul teabagger festival. The guy holding the sign is Norm Coleman.)
Pull the pork! Pull the pork!
The bad news: Is that you have colon cancer.
The good news: You’re going to get so much anal play when getting this sucker treated.
SO MUCH!
Who wouldn’t want Barney Frank doing it to your colon? ARE YOU EVEN AMERICAN, TEABAGGERS?
OH Jesus just please sleep well as anybody should and link the ShortsandPants stuff that we’ve been whoring all day. WHY DO WE HAVE TO RELY ON WONDERFUL SARA K.SMITH to get positive coverage? As much as I love all of you, please consider the facts. BARACK OBAMA IS TAKING AWAY FREEDOMS. George Bush was a libertarian. Obviously, 2+2=YELLOWCAKE URANIUM. Let’s all get to the brass tax.
There is no such thing as logic! WHOOPIE!
And the answer to the sign is:
“NOT UNLESS LARRY CRAIG IS TOO BUSY!”
Morans. Also.
It’s a good point. I had a colonoscopy in Britain, and Tony Blair did it. He’s very gentle. Also, there was no anesthesia, as that’s a luxury. In fact, the Queen herself had to sign off before I had the treatment and the paperwork took so long to get processed I’d died 4 years previously.
How is it that the same people who wouldn’t trust Barney Frank with their colonoscopy somehow trust Newt Gingrich to give them a balanced budget? Their determination of expertise is downright puzzling.
They let Bush finger them for 8 years, are they picky?
The uh-oh moment is when you realise both his hands are on your shoulders…
shortsshortsshorts: I threw S&P up on the blog rolls of all my little gigs. I cover a lot of different shit (besides our hugely failing government), but I do get a fair amount of traffic. I link to Sickness Abounds, so it’s not like S&P would be met with shock by my readers.
Pulling the pork- euphemism for giving a rich pig a stiffy.
I guess all these people are beneath you, right?
http://pajamasmedia.com/instapundit/76767/
I miss the good old days when Wonkette was Ana Marie’s anal blog.
I would let Barney Frank “put his hand in my piggy bank” any day of the goddam week. Also.
Apparently , wingtards are sensitive and labeling us “haters” because we’re calling them teabaggers. Here’s a funny response on teablogging.net:
YOU LIBBERALS ARE DIRTY MINDED GODLESS TRASH!! AND HATERS TOO , CALLING US TEABAGGERS! I KNOW WHAT THAT IS, I DID A SEARCH IN AOL .
THATS WHEN A MAN DIPS HIS SCROTUM SACK INTO ANOTHER MANS MOUTH , HIS HOT SPIT FEELS LIKE BUTTER. HIS TONGUE LASHES THE SOFT BOTTOM OF THE MANS BALLS, GENTLY TOUCHING HIS NASTY GODLESS MARXIST TAINT!!! THE OTHER DISGUSTING HOMO IS DOING THE SAME ON THE OTHER END, BUT DIFFERENT. DECYPHTER IS GENTLY NIBBLING Coffeeyesplease’S GAY ASS BALLS EVER SO SLIGHTLY WITH HIS HOMO LIBTARD LIPS!!
GOD IN HEAVEN FORGIVE YOU DEMOCRAPS AND YOUR GUTTER BRAINS! ID QUOTE SOME SCRIPTURE, BUT I GOT TARGET PRACTICE WITH MY M-16, YOU FUCKIN LIBS WOULDnt KNOW ABOUT DEFENDING THE CONSTITUTION. GOOD BYE!
“Ladies and gentlemen, Our first speaker, Former senator Mark Foley, will discuss how we can ” turn the page ” on the Republican party…followed by former senator Larry Craig, who has been taking a a ” wide stance ” on fiscal irresponsibility….followed by Congressman David Vitter, who will be speaking about the dangers of the ” nanny state.” But now , the Rev. Ted Haggard will give a sermon titled…..HYPOCRISY.”
http://www.webmd.com/colorectal-cancer/news/20030311/green-tea-white-tea-fight-colon-cancer
roolb: Yes, yes they are.
OMGWTFBBQLOL wut
Whoever we are wherever were from we shoulda noticed by now our behavior is dumb and if our chances expect to improve its gonna take a lot more than tryin to remove the other race or the other whatever from the face planet altogether……They call it the Earth which is a dumb kinda name but they named it right cause we behave the same…We are dumb all over Dumb all over, Yes we are Dumb all over, near and far Dumb all over black and white, people we is not wrapped tight…..Nurds on the left Nurds on the right , Religious fanatics on the air every night Sayin the Bible tells the story, Makes the details sound real gory, Bout what to do if the geeks over there don’t believe in the book we got over here……You can’t run a race without no feet, n’ pretty soon there won’t be no street…for dummys to jog on, or doggies to dog on Religious fanatics can make it be all gone ( I mean it won’t blow up n’ disappear, it’ll just look ugly for a thoudand years…) You can’t run a country by a book of religion, not by a heap or a lump or a smidgen…..Of foolish rules….of ancient date….designed to make you all feel great…While you all fold, spindle and mutilate…those unbelievers from a neighboring state……TO ARMS! TO ARMS!….Hooray!, Thats Great!, Two legs ain’t bad unless theres acrate they ship the parts to Momma in…For souveniers Two Ears( Get Down ) Not his, Not hers but what the hey….The Good Book says ( it’s gotta be that way )….But their book says …Revenge the Crusades!…With whips and chains and hand grenades, Two Arms Two Arms have another and another…Our God says their ain’t no other, Our God says it’s all okay! Our God says this is the way!….It says in the book Burn and Destroy…n’ repent n’ redeem n’ revenge n’ deploy n’ rumble thee forth to the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side…cause they don’t go for whats in the book n’ that makes em’ bad…so verily we must choppeth them up,..And stompeth them down…Or rent a nice a nice French bomb…to Poof them out of existence, while leaving their real-estate just where we need it,..to use again,..For Temples in which to praise OUR GOD ( cause’ he can really go hawaiian…….And when his humble T.V. servent, with humble white hair, and humble glasses,…and a nice brown suit….and maybe a blonde wife who takes phone calls ….Tells us our god says we gotta do this stuff….then we gotta do it…..cause if we don’t do it, then we ain’t GWINE UP TO HEBBEN ( or Orange County ) …..HEY! we can’t really be dumb,..After all, we’re just following Gods orders…..And the book says he made us all to be just like HIM…And He wrote this book here…So If We’re Dumb….Then GOD is Dumb…..And maybe even a little Ugly on the side…………………..Frank Zappa (1981) (R.I.P.)
Do you want Barney Frank doing your colonoscopy?
Of course not, silly. Barney Frank is not a medical doctor.
But yeah, what Ken said. There was a whole lotta thinkin’ put into the sign made by this totally not gay at all, never even crossed his mind heterosexual. What with the Barney Frank (gay) and the colonoscopy (tube up your anus/rectum/colon) and the use of ‘do’ rather than ‘perform,’ I’d say this sign must have taken several hours of concentrated thinking and hard work, completely focused on queers, asses and buttsecks. But only for the cause of fighting socialized medicine.
As the Gitmo guard in Harold & Kumar 2 replied to the question “Are all the guards in Guantanamo Bay gay?”
Fuck no! There ain’t nothing gay about getting your dick sucked! You’re the ones that’re gay for sucking my dick! In fact, it creeps me out just being around you fags!
What, Congressman Frank is not licensed to give colonoscopies? Then what the hell has he been doing the last two years when I’ve visited him?
In all seriousness, wingnut rallies like this must be the hottest cruising ground for closeted Republicans ever. I would guess that if you went into a public restroom within a five mile radius of any teabagging and you would not be able to hear yourself talk over the foot tapping.
mr. wunnerful: Er… Huh?
…geez, what is up with right-wings obsession with the anal cavity?!
he he he … right underneath the Barney Frank sign, in the distance, there is a sign which says “PULL THE PORK.”
The gent carrying that sign would prefer Dr. Dick Armey.
iwillsavethispatient: Yes, and here Sarkozy is in charge of all colon-manipulation. Good to see the wingnuts have grasped the intricacies of single-payer health care. Unlike the guy holding the sign, I don’t risk losing everything I own because of an accident or serious illness.
And really, if socialized medicine means that politicians will be gazing into your bung-hole, I’m sure the GOP’s got a whole passel of folks ready to volunteer their services.
Maybe not Barney Frank, but Stephanie Herseth had me at “Hello.”
I see a “Bacon Rebellion” in our future. I can’t take much more.
So what did this nationwide, siesmic turning point do in terms of attendance? About 50,000 total? Or, roughly the same amount of ex-boyfriends that Larry Craig can recall?
The tri-color graphics and attached flag .. seems a bit anal.
No worries, these appear to be self tapping wingnuts. While Anal Allen is concerned about Barney Frank mucking about in his cavernous rectum, one of his fellow has already resolved the single largest problem facing the implementation of National health care and is wisely advising Allen to “pull the pork”, thus sparing himself everything but a little post exam cuddling with Rep Frank.
JeffGoldblum: It reminds me of the ramblings of Abe Simpson.
Jeff Foxworthy needs to retire his “you might be a redneck if…” bit and reimagine it as “you might be a self-hating gay conservative if…”
I think one of the very first ones would be “someone asks you about national health care, and your first thought is of Barney Frank giving you a rectal exam.”
I like that almost as much as “Vote NO on HR1338. Do you want a gang of 7 to 10 strapping negro bucks savagely gang-f’ing your wife while you watch and a illegal immigrant tranny nurse gives you a rectal exam, urethral sounding and sensual massage?”
mr. wunnerful: Wake up, people! You shouldn’t chase your anti-psychotics with gin. When will you learn!
El Pinche:
Took them this long to figure out why a lot of us were giggling and laughing at them?
Of course I wouldn’t want Barney Frank doing my colonoscopy!!! Barney the Dinosaur, on the other hand…
JeffGoldblum: Dude, those are Zappa lyrics. The world would be a better place if Zappa was still around to tell us just how insane things are. Now all we have is Jon Stewart, Rachael Maddow, Keith Olbermann, and Stephen Colbert.
Do you want Barney Frank doing your colonoscopy?
But Doktor Ron Paul can…unless you’re a dirty ethnic.
Some people like to “pull the pork” after it has been slowly roasted over hickory coals. Bunch of pervs.
Alley Belcher wears a tie to keep his foreskin from covering his head. Another topic. Also.
I’m sure he realizes he would be quite a catch for homosexuals.
What you don’t see is the other side of the sign, which says “Yes, yes, a million times, yes!”
Amazing, such tolerance here among Liberals. I thought protest was the highest form of patriotism?
Crazyfortheblue: It can be. Just as pointing out the assitude and intolerance of the other side’s protest can be the highest exercise of free speech under the U.S. Constitution.
God bless America! Even the whiny bits that can’t take the rough and tumble of public debate.
Crazyfortheblue: Amazing, such tolerance here among Liberals. I thought protest was the highest form of patriotism?
No need to get all butthurt, pal; this is what it looks like when people disagree with you. Get out of the bubble a little bit more. Man up.
Not butthurt at all. Just amazed at the intolerance shown here for others. The low brow personal attacks that are shown here. So sad coming from such open-minded/high-minded folks such as yourself.
Crazyfortheblue: You DO realize what blog you’re on, right?
I want Mitch McConnell doing my colonoscopy. With his tongue. I bet he can get it all the way up to my small intestine.
Crazyfortheblue: Do you need a hug?
no report on rick perry’s calls for secession (implied, of course, he has no balls) and brazen public teabagging (remember, he’s also a closeted homo-secks-ewl)?
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0409/21295.html
does this shitstick realize that george w. bush was texas governor before being pres-o-dent? no one will ever vote for a texas governor again–even if it’s to be texas governor.
Barney probably really knows his way around as ass. I’d say he’s more than qualified.
I’ll pass on the colonoscopy, no matter whose gentle hands are, as it were, at the wheel.
prophet1195:yes. i want to gay marry you.
mr. wunnerful: christ, can i sell you a comma? or a period or two?
These people just don’t understand the beauty of Marx: “From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.” Barney Frank is able and I have needs.
http://www.charlietueats.com
Farty like it’s 1773! woohoo!!11
Crazyfortheblue: and the horse you rode in on pal…we long for the tolerance of “free speech zones”…. you and people like you fucked this entire country and rather than slinking away in shame and admitting that you’ve been used you stand up on your hind legs looking for someone to blame. my disgust for you and your limited intelligence knows no bounds. get colon cancer and die shit head.
Being a citizen of a country with national health care - I tell you it is the way to go. You never have to worry about choosing between a doctor’s visit or potential bankruptcy. It is really that simple.
Crazyfortheblue: Heh, you’re assuming that people who post to a blog about buttsecks and fisting are openminded and fairminded? FAIL.
What would Jefferson do? PULL THE PORK.. great pic wonketeers.FARTY ON!!!
The guy with the sign might as well have a red bandanna in his back pocket.
enguledinflames:(re:Crazyofrtheblue)UNINSURED and diagnosed with colon cancer….
Mustang: …in the back right pocket, no doubt.
Mustang: what does that one mean again? i know yellow means you’re into watersports.
don’t ask me how i know…
Crazyfortheblue: Right up there. And laughing at protest counts, too. You should know. I’m sure you sneered at every anti-war anti-Bush demonstration over the past 8 years. I sure as hell heard what *Rush* … and Ann … and Bill O. … and Sean Hannity … said about us back then.
And that’s all fine, right up to the point where some of your heroes started talking about killing us.
DollarStorePregnancyTest: Let’s just say it involves a form of buttsecks.
I want Dana Perino to do my colonoscopy with her tongue. Just sayin.
Crank Tango: Well, that won’t happen until Perino’s husband explains to her what a colon is.
Crazyfortheblue: DO YOU LIEK COCKZ?
Actually, if there was anyone who I would trust to be gentle with my delicate anal passage, it would be a ghey.
You using the whole fist there, Congressman?
Crazyfortheblue: High minded? I’m not high. Wiat, is someone not sharing the pot?
I hate when that happens.
Crazyfortheblue:
1. Do you have another comment? Seriously, you just keep repeating the same thing in multiple threads.
2. You are bitching about people mocking someone so stupid as to suggest Barney Frank is going to peer inside your anus when you are at the doctor’s office if a national healthcare plan is passed. Think about that for a second, as it seems you did not before you commented.
that old scientific saying, from the Univ of Georgia no less, is: “homophobia is associated with homosexual arousal”
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014
this says the same thing, but with divas and queer as folk. and no reading:
http://www.tinyurl.com/nom-divas