Wonkette
We feel somewhat guilty (not really, we are exhausted, jesus…) that we haven’t been able to thoroughly comb through the hundreds or thousands of photos you wonderful humans sent your Wonkette today, but this one DEMANDED immediate posting. “Taylor in Texas” writes: “Today has been a day of great hilarity, but not everything about it has been funny. There was a great tragedy at the Denton, Texas Teabagging party today. I took a picture of a cowboy riding a motorized plastic pig, and it turned out blurry!” It doesn’t matter! A foto of this caliber could be a four-pixel pink-and-sandstone blur, and it would still destroy. AND NEVER FORGET: Teablogging.net and Shorts× 3 have more, more, MORE.
Teablogging.net I’m afraid to look, so afraid
Wonkette has yet to link my pictures of the sexy Waco Armageddon at Shorts’ site. I has a sad.
Usually he only rides the pigs at home at night when his wife is sleeping. (Did that make any sense; I’ve had a couple beers). Lemme know if you need clarification.
Farewell, Texas! Guess you’ll fix that Mexican thing the same way you fixed the “Indian problem”. We’ll remember you fondly. Thanks for the Presidents!
I looked my eyes they taste like scrotum!
But where on the machine do the testes go?
Take Oklahoma with you. And we’ll trade you Kansas for Austin.
That is indeed a ridiculous pink plastic animatronic substitute for masculinity. That he’s riding that little bull makes it even sillier.
I would like to repost a song that I believe should be the anthem for this AstroTurf uprising:
Scrotum, Scrotum
S-C-R-O-T-U-M
Scrotum, Scrotum
S-C-R-O-T-U-M
Well it’s wrinkled and it’s crinkled and it’s covered with hair
But what would you do if it wasn’t there
HEY
Scrotum, Scrotum
S-C-R-O-T-U-M
Texas shouldn’t secede, it should recede. Into Mexico.
Gov. Sam Houston-Texas-
“Let me tell you what is coming. After the sacrifice of countless millions of treasure and hundreds of thousands of lives you may win Southern independence, but I doubt it. The North is determined to preserve this Union. They are not a fiery, impulsive people as you are, for they live in colder climates. But when they begin to move in a given direction, they move with the steady momentum and perseverance of a mighty avalanche.”
This pic captures a whole lot of stupidity: a plastic animal mounted atop a Rascal scooter; funny hats; beer guts(they’re fashionable in some circles here); a shirt made out of the Texas flag; big handlebar mustaches; and finally, pants tucked into tall boots.
Even after living here since 1970, seeing the above still leaves me filled with wonder.
The Helvetica Scenario: We are, slowly. Most jobs here require some command of Spanish.
Hey, fellow Texans, Kinky Friedman said on the Ed Schultz show tonight that he was going to run for Gov as a Dem. Thoughts? Frankly, I’m finding it hard to get too damn excited about it.
I think he’s riding a plastic Goatsucker. I’d be in favor of letting everything south of the Mason Dixon go. Adios MF’ers. Also.
Wow, patriotic secessionists beastfucking an animatronic bull.
Tommorrow , we’ll all wake up with retard hang-overs.
Secede, and give W. his third term. Obama can orchestrate the Austin airlift. “Ich bin ein Austiner”!
Just think if we did not revolt against the dirty limy Brits we would have universal health care, less gun violence, but more knife violence?, better education, great science stuff, oh and less dogmatic bullshit, maybe? Or they might just use us as cannon fodder, win win ether or
This is just so off the hizza:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/j3gw73lN4maizzyfJGO2a52uo1_1280.gif?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1239934750&Signature=991p9PkS8fiNUte6Du76s0m%2FPaA%3D
Hopey: Immediately, PLEEEZ, reposition all border defense around the northern border of Texas.
Sorry to all our comrade muslins there; but if you wanna make an French socialist omelet…
That’s no pig! That’s Rush Limbaugh! Yeeeeehaw!
I understand the confusion.
Just wondering, what if Texas and South Carolina and Louisiana and other places with crazy Governors threaten to secede would anybody really care? Yeah, the whole “United States” thing is pretty cool but I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.
Texan Bulldoggette: He didn’t so good last time. But we don’t have a lot of choices. I haz a MAJOR sad.
picyou: Are we going to really remember Texas fondly? Maybe years after the break-up, we’ll hook-up with them one more time. But we’ll see the error of our ways, slip on our underpants, and be out of there before the ass-crack of dawn.
It’s not a bull you guys - it’s a PIG. And he’s riding a hog.
Do all Texans look like Yosemite Sam?
Secede, hell. I say we give the whole damn state back to Mexico and let the no-tax/pro-gun folks square off against the drug cartels. If we’re very, very lucky, they might just wipe each other out, which would be a total win for everyone else.
God, how we miss Barbara Jordan, Henry B. Gonzales, Craig Washington, Ralph Yarborough, etc.
Brothers & sisters, at one time Texas had a generation of proud, defiant, and courageous politicians.
Thanks for the li… FUCK does this mean I have to sleep with Newell now too?! I am outsourcing that one to Shorts. Kthx. Teablogging. Also.
comradepaulson: And hope we don’t test positive.
Wait a minute folks, that’s Leck Radzcki and he sure as hell ain’t no Texan, he ain’t even a ‘mericun!
He’s the Medicare coordinator at the Denton Scooter Store. The dumb sumbitch makes his livin’ defrauding taxpayers into putting feeble fat asses onto $6,000 Rascals, a week and half before they die. No doubt he’s ridin’ a modified repo and hawking Baker’s Ribs.
chascates: Frances “Sissy” Farenthold, Ann Richards, HELL, Bob Eckhardt!
*sniff, sniff*
Sell Texas to Argentina.
I has not enuf $ for gas I just bought a truck secede! secede! secede! also
is that thing on wheels?
is that a hog-ride/lawnmower?
seriously.
also.
chascates: It will either be Hair, again, or Hairspray . Bullshit versus pigshit.
zhubajie: Fuck that — let’s sell the whole South to the highest bidder.
El Pinche: If we could only get Henry Cisneros back!
chascates: Our own Texas Bulldoggette and other Texan Wonketters, too… well, I’m willing to house some refugees here in Michigan. Sure, we have no jobs, no hope, and no NCAA title, but the cold snow can be heated for water and our governor is Canadian.
That’s a DUI waiting to happen.
chascates: And you, too, of course. Shit, how big will this airlift have to be? Can Hopey get the Black helicopters in time for the great send-off?
comradepaulson: A few acres in the upper peninsula would be a marvelous respite from the heat and the hideous hellions down here.
We’ll give you Michelle Bachmann if you give us Austin.
blueduck: or the highest bitter.
Texan Bulldoggette: I love the Kinkster but he’s no Al Franken. He looked bad in the debates last time around and Bell at least seemed serious, we’ll see I guess.
comradepaulson: UN Black helicopters don’t you forget it
I’m a Teabagger and I’m okay
I sleep all night and I ride all day
He’s a Teabagger and he’s okay
He sleeps all night and he rides all day
I ride on pigs, I bag my tea
I read Ayn’s Atlas Shrugged
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And get tea bagged by Larry Craig
He rides on pigs…
He’s a teabagger…
I won’t pay tax, I skip and jump
I love to press wild flow’rs
I put on assless chaps
And hang around in bars
He rides on pigs…
He’s a teabagger…
I ride on pigs, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I’d been on Brokeback
Just like my dear papa
He rides on pigs…
He’s a teabagger…?
comradepaulson: thanks, but surely you realize half of Michigan has lived down here since the late ’70’s. In fact…..
hockeymom: I second that bid and raise them a Colman plus a TIMMY! LIBLAAA LIBLAAA TIMMY!
ManchuCandidate: Just like dear papa!
I didn’t know the Sybian Machine came in ‘pig’.
chascates: Do we have any Dems in TX now? I can only think of Jim Mattox, Kirk Watson (whom Chris Matthews basically neutered on national teevee), Dan Morales (who’s got all kinds of scandal shit), Henry Cisneros (see Dan Morales). Kinky’s Jewish cowboy shtick ain’t gonna get him enough votes (AGAIN!) to pull it off. Sigh…
I see by your outfit that you are a drag queen
these words he did say as I boldly walked by
come sit down behind me and hear my sad story
got caught in a pig and I know I must die
(everybody)
So play the fife lowly and beat the drum slowly…
facehead: Just like dear papa!
Hey. That’s the pink pig with the 12-inch dildo seat.
That isn’t a teabagging picture. That is just a good old fashion Texas pig fucking picture.
And isn’t the important question “Why is Wilford Brimley there?”
ManchuCandidate: Good, as always.
chascates: Not to mention the late, great, Ann Richards.
Buh-bye, Texas. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
comradepaulson: I was just being polite. By the way….Thanks, Texas, for all the oil you used to have.
peorgietirebiter: Chris Bell…did he even have a pulse? I think the aliens came & got him because we haven’t heard hide nor hair from him since he got shellacked. Same for Tony Sanchez…yes, I’ve been in Austin a long time & remember all the Dem losers.
Oh, I’m hanging my head in shame right now.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=80561199832 and click not attending..
do it for South Carolina..
and thanks to the people who have already done it..
chascates: Yeah, we had our good ones. But Perry will be our greatest do-nothing governor of all time (except his veto of $154 million for health insurance for community college staff members & the fucking toll road traps in north austin).
I wish the spirit of Richards would come down and coldcock Perry in his sleep.
ok, everyone carry on beating the shit of texas. im going to make me a jack n coke. im moran’d out.
Texan Bulldoggette: The Kinkster lost a lot of votes when he told the crowd in Dallas that the Jews didn’t kill Jesus, they only contracted the lumber. Go figure.
trondant: 4 mins faster, and we should give Texas back to the Mexicans so the Mexicans can eat them, also
Texan Bulldoggette: lol…you are spot on.
Texan Bulldoggette: If they exist they hide in the shadows. I can’t express my disappointment on this matter. I was prepared to add much more on my feelings but it just would be sappy sentimentality. Until the state has a majority of thoughtful, independent-thinking Hispanics the GOP will rule. But when the tide turns it will be a mighty wave that will over take us, New Mexico, and Arizona as well.
Looking forward to that day.
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please….
SayItWithWookies: “Sexual frustration is a theme in many of Sirk’s film’s, but nowhere is this theme so ubiquitous as in Written on the Wind. Sex is the central problem for all the characters, and Sirk goes to almost excessive pains to mock their troubles. When Stack learns from his doctor (Edward Platt) that he may be sterile, he hobbles like a wounded man out of the drugstore only to be confronted by a boy happily bouncing up and down on a mechanical pony.” - Mark Frankel, excerpted from the TCM website.
If Texas seceded, they’d be back at Comrade Hopey’s door within a year, like a crackhead:
“Let us back in, baby. I’ll truck yo nutz, man. I’ll bag yo tea!”
(Solo) Texas has a whorehouse in it.
(Chorus) lord have mercy on our souls.
(Solo) Texas has a whorehouse in it.
(Chorus) lord have mercy on our souls.
(Solo) I’ll expose the facts although it fills me with disgust
Please excuse the filthy dark details, and carnal lust.
(Chorus) Filthy dark details, and carnal lust.
Texas has a whorehouse in it.
lord have mercy on our souls.
Texas has a whorehouse in it.
lord have mercy on our souls.
Watch dog smell corruption and will fight it to the top.
Loveless copulation going on, going on, going on, going
on, going on
going on.
Lyrics, of course, courtesy of Dolly Parton!
peorgietirebiter: I’m well aware. I’m just offering up my shithole state for any refugees that need it. I hate to see good Texans have to suffer when the secession begins, you know?
Texan Bulldoggette: Bell was a nance but he actually did a lot better than Tony the douche, but no, haven’t heard squat about him since. I think Kay will cake walk but at least she’ll be out of the senate. We’re still a few years away from winning much.
ManchuCandidate: This is simply fabulous! Does American Idol allow original compositions?
Hey, Wonkette, is on Rachel Maddow - “The only WOMAN I’d ever consider dating/ marrying!” Show! Woo HOO!
ManchuCandidate: Or even semi-original?
chascates: On reflection let me add that I mean Hispanics whose Catholicism is not anchored by pro-life and other matter that are co-oped by the right.
comradepaulson: Hell, I’m from Kentucky, and a lot of people around here aren’t even aware the Civil War has ended. Others don’t even know it started. It’s the perfect place to lay low. Depending on the part of the state you’re going to, you might want to bring along some bottled water.
comradepaulson: and we appreciate it- but we’ll be fine (well, us white libruls anyway) Perry’s powerless in the state, and nobody in Austin is about to actually leave Barry’s money on the table. Modern Baptist assholes that they are.
comradepaulson: Don’t come to Minnesota, its cold in the winter, haven’t you heard?
and we have skeeters, oh and retards on a stick (repubs) at the airports
wonderboom: Again, I salute you. And Hopey will be standing there, tea cup in hand, Kool in another, shaking his head…
comradepaulson: By the way, Michigan’s Jake with me, a couple of your native sons managed to explain hockey to me, so now we’re pards. Gordie Howe, he number 10 long time Joe.
dogscantlookup: You also have Bachmann. But we have our right-wingers, too. And mayors with sexy-texting. But, you can buy a small house here with a down payment of one half of one truck-nut and a half-empty six-pack of Bells Oberon. Offer not valid in Ann Arbor or Grosse Pointe.
GaySailor: I gotz no cable teevee! ((It rottz da brain.)) And it’s not online yet…
I lust for Rachel like a Texan lusts for Mel Gibson.
GaySailor:
Why, are you [i]gay[/i] or something? Also.
Texas should not secede! I like our nation whole.
-billorders84
http://bill84121.blogspot.com
comradepaulson: It’s one WHOLE truck-nutz and a 12pac of Summit on Penn Ave Minneapolis!
OT, but I just watched Elizabeth Warren on Jon Stewart. She’s the new brain in charge of figuring out what’s happening to our monies and TARP.
I went between completely loving her to being absolutely terrified. She is a person who is unable to be evasive on purpose. I don’t think she could tell a lie, if her life depended on it.
She basically said that Paulson screwed us the first time around…and we may or may not recover. She has no idea! But she did give a great lesson on the history of money and if I went to Harvard, I would definitely sign up for her newsletter.
I (We?) apologize for bagging Texas-tea people so much… I know some of you on here are from Texas and want to put a jihad on America just as bad as the rest of us kool-aide drinking socialists.
Man, I think I’ve commented myself retarded. ‘Nite ya’ll.
NEW RULE! All Texans must get GREEN CARDS to work outside of Texas!
dogscantlookup: You rich bastards!
peorgietirebiter: Well, I appreciate those who stay and fight it out, man. But if you see that pink pig up there licking its lips and looking at your private parts, give us other 49 a call and we’ll send Barry and his unicorn army in there to rescue the lot of you.
Portugal (The Man): Just because I am what I am. Okay, I’m a GAY VETERAN - busted! I was already KICKED OUT of the submarine service for being gay. So, you’re saying I should change my name?
WHY do people defile the American flag by stuffing their fat paunches in it and walking around like they are some kind of parade float?
I don’t like the way he’s looking at his flag-shirted partner like You’re Next!
I couldn’t resist looking up “teabagging” on Urban Dictionary,
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teabagger
I found this, Entry 7: Any guy who drives a Ford Explorer “Sport” (the two door model).
(clearly the definition Anderson Cooper had in mind).
Hey Senator Richard Burr did a one man bank run with insider information? Why do Republican Senators, like Burr, hate America?
j6n: What do you mean?
-billorders84
http://bill84121.blogspot.com
GaySailor: so you were a sub … marine?
Bro, about 90 percent of wonkette commenters are gay sailors, so that’s the problem.
DC Hates Me: chortle! I know! He has that whole, “I’m gonna make you squeal like a pig!” thing going on. Cue banjo music, ya know?
wonderboom: I agree, the whole haha hole cuntree haz gone tarded and I am just about too full retard drunk to type nite nite, I hope it was all a horrible nightmare, no more teabagging! Thank you teabagging teabagging
Fuck Aaron Schock.
/Colbert’d
GaySailor: I’ll agree provided you stop crediting Dolly Parton for Carol Hall’s lyrics, I mean, dude, if there’s one thing a gay sailor should know….
Carol’s from Abilene so she’ll need a green card when you get a moment.
j6n: Shit, that parade float was going by so fast, I wish Taylor in Texas would have used a faster shutter speed.
Portugal (The Man): Okay, busted again. Maybe saying I’m a GAY SAILOR is sort of redundant, but I want people to know there are PLENTY OF US (gay sailors) out there. I know… I know… duh… “StraightSailor” would be more shocking, right?!!?
facehead: I really missed out on all that HOT GAY SEX on the submarine. I was like, I’m gay and on a submarine so, LIKE, where is all this HOT GAY SEX I keep hearing about?!!? It wasn’t like I didn’t run to the recruiter’s officer after hearing the Village People’s classic “In the Navy!” It was really sad. All work and no play… I didn’t even have time for a boyfriend until they KICKED ME OUT for being queer.
dogscantlookup: I am interested in your ideas and would like to sign up for your newsletter.
The best way for America to stop “GAY SEX” is to end “Don’t Ask / Don’t Tell.” They don’t tell you once you are in the service they work your ass off so much you don’t have time or energy for any “hot gay sex.” Oh, I heard rumors, but I never got in on any ACTION, dammit! I didn’t “earn my gay dolphins” or whatever…
peorgietirebiter: Oops! Sorry, yes, a gay sailor SHOULD know the author of the lyrics “Texas has a Whore House in it!” I am totally shamed! Sorry, Carol Hall!
Hey, I just saw a commercial for “Giant Cheetos” Are they “FOR REAL REAL?”
Texas can leave, but only if they take Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and all that phony Urban Cowboy shit with them.
GaySailor: No problem, that’s it for me, but before sign off, I have to say again , those two poseurs are not Texans. I mean you might be able to get hats like that at the airport, other than that, we’re talking mail order or Western costume. As for the boots, as Warren Zevon would say, I don’t want to talk about it. Good night to all, and to all…
maybe it’s the blurring, but that sure does look like my mayor…
Do you think teabaggers would collapse inwards from the molecular weight of their own stupidity if someone told them that the tax policies they are protesting could not possibly be Obama administration policies due to a simple logical timeline? They have to be Bush I, Clinton, or Bush II policies?
Also, fuck secession. Texas, you’re going on a fire sale. First country to offer us the proper year’s worth of top-shelf mezcal/guac per capita U.S. adult deal gets you. Not that I am hinting, Mexico (but call us, amigos; you’ll get a fuckload of land, the Neiman Marcus flagship, and the opportunity to flip the script and railroad George W. Bush into cleaning YOUR toilets for $.50/day plus a Fanta Grape or my goodness you’ll just have to report his ungrateful ass).
But you have to take Florida, too.
ManchuCandidate: I think I love you.
ihasasad: If it don’t fit don’t force it…
AND OH MY GAWD if that ain’t the most fittin photo of the conservative mindset EVER.
peorgietirebiter: Real cowboys never wear their jeans tucked into their boots.
the whole thing is highly suspicious.
GaySailor: hope you find a new ship and set sail for justice…
we are an ignorant nation and have the pictures to prove it.
sati demise: Real “cowboys never wear their jeans tucked into their boots” Unless they duct tape the gaps for deer tics! But they wouldn’t cus they are tards! getting too drunk, also,blumbpt, france, cuba, gwat, socialist, fascist, soviets, rtgieopgh, pjubergerbilllsttt,err ya more !s damn it!
Hagar77: That’s what I’m screamin’, hombre.
As a contributor and an apparent fake-editor on Teablogging, can we change its name to “Bill?” No real reason, just the satisfaction that “Bill” actually controls something.
As to today’s teabagging events. HOLY SHIT. Wasn’t that fun? ShortsandPants hit 7 large cities for the event, and even that wasn’t enough to oust that EVIL MUSLIM Obama from office. We will try harder next time.
facehead: I WAS A GAY SAILOR. Jesus saved me, but I can’t talk about the miracle for legal reasons.
dogscantlookup: I was replying to facehead, so scroll up
Isn’t there some Russian intelligence analyst rooting for the US to break up?
I’m no neo-con, but I don’t trust those Ruskies any farther than my 5′8″ 150 lb frame could throw them.
Maybe instead of TX seceding, every citizen could submit to a teabagging by a resident of a neighboring state.
“SO BALLER” is perfection. Thank you.
Bring Back Crystal Pepsi!
bago: YA!
http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=1988
Willie Nelson, Townes Van Zandt, Freddie King, Bob Wills, Cyd Charisse (!) and the Kilgore Rangerettes — no, the Union must be preserved at all costs!
These people have already seceded from reality.
What a filthy bigot you are, Wonkette (and Wonkettes). Gotta love the delusions of the Party of Tolerance.
Go seceed, tards. You’ll want a ‘reverse’ civil war when you’re broke in 6 months, pickin’ cotton and Obama won’t let you back in the United States. We’ll build a border wall. You can move FOX to Birmingham and Fat Junkie to Dallas.
Hey! Why didn’t Lincoln do that,let ‘em secede?
bago, lawrenceofthedesert:
NO PEPSIFICATION WITHOUT CRYSTALLIZATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone knows… Texas only exports beers, steers and queers. How are they gonna live off that, y’all?
Will it still be okay to hate Texas when it secedes, or would that be undiplomatic?
filthylibs: Boo, I didn’t tell that guy to have sex with his motorized plastic pig on national television, that was his idea, I just appreciate his sense humor.
I didn’t tell them to succeed from the union, that was also their idea (when you’re teabagging, you have a lot of time to think, apparently). Again, I can only watch in comedic awe as a pack of ignorant red necks contemplate creating their own nation. My only suggestion is you teach your children how to say “me love you long time” in Spanish.
WAKE UP SHEEPLE, YR. SEKRET MUSLIN PREZNET IS GOING TO MAKE YOU SO POOR WITH HIS KENYAN STYLE TAXES & EKONOMIX THAT YR. ONLY MEANS OF TRANSPORT WILL BE MEDICARE-FUNDED SKOOTERS LIKE TEH RASKAL!!!1
KTHXBAI: Yeah. We get to keep Austin. Austin rules. I want to trade Austin for Orange County, CA.
comradepaulson: I’m sayin’: Friendly divorce. It’ll save thousands of lives. Give them what they want … and watch them fail at it.
This is what I’ve noticed about right-wingers, starting way back when I was one: they believe many things that are absolutely objectively false. They refuse to believe many other things that are absolutely objectively true. When you believe false things and reject *true* things, to achieve purity of ideology and to fit in with the other Delusionals, everything you try to do turns to absolute shit as Reality bites you in the ass, over and over and over again.
The Iraq War is an excellent example. The long slow utter failure of Reaganomics, and of the War on (Some) Drugs are two more. The devolution of Christianity into a dumb little racist flatearther youngearther batshit cult, about as well-understood and well-thought-out as one’s devotion to one’s local football team, is another.
If you don’t love truth, you can’t accomplish much of anything for very long.
Give ‘em their country. Let ‘em fuck it up their way. Shouldn’t take long. They’ll be drunk-dialing us within ten years, begging us to take them back.
iolanthe:
i hear ya. my aunt and uncle are the crazy. totally irrational. kept sending me emails, since before nov 4, about muslim this, birth-certificate that, baby-killer this, he destroyed the economy that, blah blah blah. i would do a bunch of research, reply thoughtfully and respectfully, and receive another knee-jerk irrational ideologue reply, parroting some insane wingnut meme that they read in a chain letter. there is absolutely no reasoning with that kind of crazy. they just refuse to listen to facts…if it came to them in an email it must be true. i finally blocked ‘em.
so, yeah, take texas. stay there. we’ll let you…peacefully, even. just leave us the fuck alone.
I’m trying to think of why we SHOULD keep Tejas (means “tiles” in espanol).
Well, they got barbeque. But I have a good recipe, so I can live with that.
My wife’s cousin lives in Austin, but she could move up here to Seattle.
And there’s, um, hah, well, that’s all I got.
Bye, y’all!
filthylibs: Bigot? You guys are just dedicated to Obstruction, at this point. For 8 years, every time we said anything about the War(s), or the burgeoning deficit, we were accused of Treason and told to move the hell out of the country and go to France and leave our Dear Excellent Brave Godly President to do God’s excellent work. You talk about the media being “in the tank” for Obama??? *NOBODY* in the media asked the questions of the Pres that we were asking, that should have been asked.
We turned out to be right about the war, and right about what Bush was doing to the economy.
Y’all just stayed asleep, rising from your naps every now and then to put decals on your cars or wave your flags.
Now it’s your turn, traitors. Get the hell out and let the President do his job. Sound familiar? It should.
Is he wearing spurs? I CRY ‘FIE’ ON CRUEL HUMANITY!
filthylibs: Ha-ha, we must have been linked back at Hannidate or Little Green Footballs or some similarly vile site.
Right, tolerance. We’re tolerant, man! We libtards have the morals of Pol Pot, the aesthetics of Robert Mapplethorpe, and the politics of Marx. We’re cool with the slaughter of baby seals AND baby embryos. We believe that all Murrikans should pay a 99.999% income tax and be forced into FEMA re-education camps to do mandatory volunteer service. We believe that Ayn Rand was a piker who loved to be raped and that Jesus hated bald pussy. We believe that the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and Uncle O’Grimacey were made flesh and walk among us. We think Starbuck was better as a girl, that the NEA should sponsor fisting as a performance art, and that pedophiles are misunderstood loners who just need company. TOLERANCE ÜBER ALLES, ÜBER ALLES IN DER WELT!
See, we libtards can meet or exceed you nutters’ unhingedness anytime, anywhere.
The question is will Mexico then invade the new republic of Texas?
Also
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/04/16/texas-governor-says-secession-possible/
1337b07: Why not? Texas has some major military installations, including Fort Bliss and Fort Hood and Lackland AFB. If Rick Perry doesn’t want Federal money, then let’s close all military bases in Texas, relocate them out of state, and also pull out the Border Patrol, Customs, and INS while we’re at it. Let ‘em secede and see how long they can hold off the hermanos.
Fox News Light: How is the Bacon Drive In? maybe I’ll show up for the ‘pork a plenty’ *The Beacon will have a special ” Pork A Plenty, get a free iced tea” in honor of the event.*
You can make this shit up
Don’t forget, Texas: if you secede we get to keep the Obama counties. Have fun without Dallas and Houston!
Perry is talking shit - I’d love to see the feds actually take him at his word. I would love to see Congress whip up a Texas Seccession Committee, and start working on things like where the military bases go, where the weapons go (if fed money paid for the W flying club’s planes we want those motherfuckers back,) start work on a border wall, set up detention centers in NM and OK for the illegals that will come w/o visas, establishing an embassy (say the entire city of Austin,) redirecting federal funds going to tejas to instead pay for resettlement of Real Americans in Real America, relocating major corporations, bulldozing local and state roads at the border, setting up Customs checkpoints and $100/pop toll booths on the interstates at the border, zeroing Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid for tejans and spreading the savings to the loyal 49, not paying for inspection of food going from Mexico to tejas (feel free to shit in the pepper patch Jose,) and so on. We could even set up VOA stations and jam their radio/tv broadcasts. And really, we could just grant Puerto Rico statehood and not have to change the flag. More savings.
However, Limbaugh has to move there first. Then we take them at their word. Unless, of course, they’re a bunch of fucking pussies. But that’s impossible, right?
GaySailor, according to my sources, you would have had to have been in the Army to find all the hot gay sex.
No, seriously. Especially when stationed in Germany.
As a life-long Oklahoman I think this is a really good idea.
BUT, in exchange for a bloodless secession, we ought to require an asterisk.
http://blogs.chron.com/jeromesolomon/2009/04/the_university_of_texas_embara.html
Something like, Texas*
*Irrelevant in the 21st Century
If this is accomplished quickly enough, Kinky could be their first Prime Minister!
But wouldn’t it just be cooler if Obama pulled a “I will go to [texas] and hang the first secessionist I see from the first tree I can reach.”, like a young Andrew Jackson?
Rick Perry is an idiotic douchebag who happened to find himself on first base and thought he hit a single. Seriously, we’ve re-elected this goof twice. Twice! I’m no Kay Bailey Hutchison fan (and will vote for Bill White, Mayor of Houston, in the general) but will vote for Kay in the primary. Perry, Sanford and Jindal all hate the feds until they need them. Notice Rick is well past Hurricane Ike with his mouthing off about the 10th Amendment, secession and all that jazz. It’s the last thing we need right now (and we are taking ALL that stimulus money to balance the budget).
Please…..
Let them go!!
More than likely, Texas will be back, whimpering for another chance to come home within a few days……
You guys really don’t understand what bigotry means, do you? You read this blog and you read what the blow owner writes constantly and you still don’t understand what bigotry is.
By the way, President Beeblebrox, you piece of shit, I’m an Atheist and I cant still be tolerant to religious people. You are definitely the most disgusting group of liberals I’ve seen in the USA.
I didn’t read all your replies. I forgot I posted here until I ran into this vile blog again. Sorry I didn’t take the time to tell you personally what complete demoralized mutants you’ve become.
“SoccerMom” that just makes my skin crawl to know you have children and you read this blog.
“As a life-long Oklahoman” … Flaming Sooner: You’re like a self-hatred floating in a cesspool of hatred.