Wonkette
Before starting out on our latest miserable journey into this muddy Randian hell, may we just NOTE that we have noticed various folks on the Internet writing about how lame and trite certain blogs are for covering the Teabaggers only because of that silly sexual double entendre, which is now a dead joke. Indeed it is a dead joke! It’s been dead for weeks! (Although certain incidents do bring it new life every now and then.) But we would call them “Teabaggers” even without the sexual innuendo, because it is a hilarious movement based around tea bags, so yeah, “Teabaggers.” This is the Republican Party now! There is much more fuel to this thing than a simple sex joke that OMG old people don’t understand! Anyway… ha ha, testicles. Let’s look at some pictures of human testicles!
The biggest celebrity there, at the flagship national Tax Day Tea Party, was… Griff Jenkins. You know, Griff Jenkins! The star of the 4th Funniest Cable News Clip of 2008! Griff “Tha Crime Dawg” Jenkins!
We had an awkward encounter with this very famous Griff Jenkins.
After wading through a sea of mud to reach the nothing on the other side, we saw these Fox News equipment bins, with a River Cuomo clone casually guarding them. (PSST: WE WANTED TO STEAL THE BINS!)
This guard was, as it happened, Griff Jenkins, but we did not recognize him. We did not recognize the most important celebrity at Teabagging Central!
We tried to spark a conversation with this lonely Fox News Equipment guard and asked, completely earnestly, “So are any famous Fox personalities going to show up today?”
He was silent for a few seconds and then mumbled something about Greta maybe coming later, but with the rain and the cold, ya know…
Oh well! Moving on:
Like our grandparents always told us growing up, Microsoft Word word art is one motherfucker of a profound technology.
Ha ha, you bet he is! He’s a dandy French sally, says the guy who puts a protective plastic bag over his protest sign.
Hmm “dignity” is tricky though! It’s intangible and subjective!
Here it is, the official contest entry from the Vegas oddsmakers’ favorite, the Freepers. Went through a whole bunch of ideas, settled on ol’ comedic standby Steve Urkel. Would it be enough?
Nope! Here was the “funniest” entry, the one that really lived up to our (admittedly inflated) hope for comical conspiracy slogans and mid-level racism. This guy, we decided he was the one to waste our annual Wonkette Journalistic Interview on.
Rats! We should have expected that intrepid blog reporter Dave Weigel would already have nabbed him, since it is his job to interview violent psychopaths. ONE OF THESE DAYS, WEIGEL!
Oh that’s Laura Ingraham, trying to cut through the peasants as fast as possible.
If you ever go ahead and record that solo album, Griff, here’s your cover shot.
I think we should stop calling them Teabaggers. TruckNutz Gobblers is better.
I am ashamed that Barurkel Obama made me giggle.
So what’s the proper police response to blatant flag code violations? I hope it involves nightsticks.
I will never tire of the teabagging joke. I’ve read it over a dozen times today alone and I’m still laughing. Ha, teabagging.
as I mocked on teablogger:
I FIND IT FUNNY WHY YOU LIBRALS WANT TO WASTE MY TAXXES ON STUPID CRAP LIKE ROADS, HEALTHCARE, AND GAY ASS CHILDREN. I SPENT THE LAST 8 YEARS WINING ABOUT THE IRAQ WAR AND SPENT BILLIONS OF TAX MONEY A MONTH ON IT. BUT IT TOOK A FASCIST COMMIE PRESIDENT LIKE BALACK NOBAMA TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM AMERICAN GLADIATORS AND WIFESWAP TO TEABAG MY BUDDIES. YOU LIBTARDS NEEED TO WAKE UP!!!
I need more teabagging coverage.
Tommmcatt:
Best parody ever.
Still no black people…
OK, so teabagging is dead. Let’s see if we can trick the Freepers, et al. into having some summer fun with how Mao-bama has turned everything sour. See if Fox News will sponsor a Lemon Party — http://www.lemonparty.org/
I am tired of teabagging, tea baggers, tea cups & this whole cabal of people too stupid to live. HuffPO says they’re doing it again for July 4. Three-months to recover…
Perry finally uttered the words:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/15/gov-rick-perry-texas-coul_n_187490.html
Perry needs to secede from the planet.
El Pinche: that’s gold right there. Pure gold.
I don’t even really understand why a couple dozen right wingers are talking about teabagging each other or something, and I’m not sure they know why, either, but I have gotten a LOT of laughs out of today’s posts and that’s saying something on a crappy day like today (work).
No crowd shots? Could you not find a sidewalk curb tall enough to get a good vantage on the entire protest?
Is that MS Word produced shirt actually printed paper taped to her shirt? BWAAAHAHAHA!!!
Seems to me there were more librul media elites there than tea baggerz.
SnarkNotFark: Sure, as long as we can have a Tubgirl Meat Spin while we’re at it.
In all seriousness: WHAT are they protesting? Can someone run it down for me? Are they protesting flags? They just don’t like Obama? Or his blackness? Protesting the French?
Honestly, I don’t get what they’re mildly upset about.
CuntryFirst: Snoodlers!!
Texan Bulldoggette: So any celebration of the 4th of July implies your support for these Tea Nasties? May we have a large downpour or here in Texas tornadoes to disperse the crowds.
No. No. I refuse. You can stop with the sexual innuendo. Feel free. I shall not. You pry the teabag jokes from my cold dead ball sac, which I don’t have, but still.
You Cannot Be Serious: I have no idea what you’re talking about, so here’s a bunny lady with a pancake some teabags on its head.
El Pinche: Request for clarification: “Gay-ass children” or “Gay ass-children”? Is important distinction. Also, http://teablogging.net FTW!!1!!11!
(also.)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kiloindiatango/3445885546/
President Beeblebrox: Maybe they will also protest how poor the Chosen Muslin is making this country’s women, to the point where the average pair of women can only afford one drinking vessel, with a Two Girls One Cup Party
Darn. Imagine ‘bunny’ and ‘pancake’ striked out. HTML defeats me once again.
I have no snark left for these fuckers. I need alcohol.
Please make it stop. [buries head in pillow] Please wonkette….
So wingnut teabaggers appropriating the imagery of whitey-hating, ex-con Homie the Clown?
Well, they have more in common with him that Ayn Rands…
Here is what I don’t understand, if these teabaggers (snicker) are a bunch of America loving folks, then why the hell are they wearing the flag out in the rain - that is a total violation of American flag etiquette. I guess thats what I should expect from a bunch of doucetard teabaggers
StephanieInCA: gay ass-children. I’m sorry for the confusion.
After seeing all these fat, inbreed losers…well, let’s just say they’re giving us white people a bad name.
Oh, please. Teabagging is the LBD of Wonkette commentary. It’s appropriate for oh, so many occasions.
So this is what all of the grown-up, home-schooled children do when they get together.
Scandinavian Fetus: No wonder it looks like they are having such a bitchin’ good time.
Scandinavian Fetus: That and preparing for the antichrist.
As a Lesbian-American, tea bagging will never not be funny to me because ewww… seriously. In your mouth? You people are crazy.
Or they could just be dangled in your face for fun. The thing is, sometimes those things are a bit musty. And ticklish.
Homey was in the White House. Dry and playing Scrabble with his wife while watching the daughters play with the new puppy. He looked out the window once and a strange smile came across his face.
Repubs have no fuckin idea how to demonstrate.
If their parents can’t coherently explain what the hell they’re protesting, I wonder what these poor wingnut spawn think they’re doing shivering in the rain. Other than developing a lifetime aversion to Earl Gray.
Flag Code:
The flag should not be displayed on days when the weather is inclement, except when an all-weather flag is displayed.
The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free.
This link is totally not me whoring out the pictures I took on the spot at the Waco Tea Party.
Ahhh, the clueless brainwashed sheeple doing their best to slam the Tea Parties!…And most don’t even know the purpose of the Tea Parties. The brainwashed sheeple think they are clever by using the term Teabaggers..yuk yuk yuk, so clever!
Hey brainwashed sheep, time to wake up or move to Cuba…It’s midnight in America.
chascates: Hey, Kinky Friedman says he’s in as a Dem to run for governor on the Ed Show. (I’m still weighing if that’s a good thing or not.) And if any tornadoes are coming, can they please take Secessionist Perry with them?
Laura Ingram has “man hands” - ewwwwhh.
Raivyn6: WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!! TeLeProMptors.
The people who don’t think that “teabagger” or “teabagging” are funny are people like Griff and Laura who show up and go “Oh, you are doing a tea party thing…, I thought, no, never mind…, I guess I’ll head home now.”
But not to worry, now that tax day is passed, the wing nuts are going to turn on Obama’s failure to help employment. Soon, they will have parties about all these jobs he has blown.
badmuthagoose: Musty? You may want to improve your date vetting process.
shortsshortsshorts:
And you conclude that from a few photos???….Brilliant!…
There are plenty of black folks attending the Tea Parties, hundreds of black folks have been calling the radio talk shows today offering support for the message, and reporting on what was happening at the parties they attended.
You fail once again.
And can Griff Jenkins be called a celebrity? Is stalking people for O’Reilly or fetching O’Reilly’s loofah for him really something to celebrate?
Pilate:
http://www.breakfastblogger.com/wp-content/photos/rabbit_pancake.gifre=291038SnarkNotFark/re:
and
http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/pancake_day_dog.jpg
and
http://www.petsinuniform.com/images/pancakes.jpg
also.
and snarknotfark i will never forgive you for that link.
If they won’t agree to teabagging, just give ‘em a turkey slap.
I smell Paultard on this thread. The faint aroma of a teabag… the strange combination of Liptons, saliva, and herpes… it revolts the stomach as it alerts the senses…
My librul redcommie grandpaw who bombed the shit out of the Germans(Huns) always hated when people wore the U.S.A.U.S.A.U.S.A.! flag as clothing. I guess that is why he was happy that the commies liberated him from a German P.O.W. camp(happy camp). such as
Raivyn6: BEST. PARODY. EVER. You really nailed it, you even used “sheeple”. One point though: it never hurts to use more exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raivyn6: Shut your fucking face. 45 minutes ago, I was being lectured by a 9-year-old on why “that socialist darkie” is “ruining the country”. Leave my Wonkette right now before I fucking drive to your mother’s house and break down the door to your basement and Falcon Teabag you.
Raivyn6: So do they call and say “Hey, what’s up, I’m black?”
Gopherit: Scandalabra: Save your strength. We’re only a couple months in to this Administration and there’s years to go. They won’t be this funny the next time. That’s why I laugh now, at the teabagging. ‘Cause it won’t be an innuendo next time. It’ll just be sad.
Don’t waste innuendo when you have it. Something I learned from the Bible.
Raivyn6: no, it’s a bit before 9:00 pm, ET. check your time server.
Raivyn6: What is the message, exactly? Paying money for taxes is bad? I agree with that, because when I have money, and then I have to get rid of some of that money, that sucks. You’re on to something there, friend.
Cuba? Make up your minds, bitterz, I thought US America was turning into France! And I was so looking forward to that.
Raivyn6: There are FIVE other “raivyn”s !?!?
Raivyn6: I realize there were token black folk at teabagging parties, but please do not for a second insult people’s intelligence by insinuating black people support whatever the fuck this FAIL of a melange of collective spleen venting was.
Raivyn6: “And most don’t even know the purpose of the Tea Parties.”
Which makes the fact they are standing out there holding tea bags even more retarded.
Raivyn6:
PAULTARDED TEABAGGERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!11!! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR DIGNITY.
Now, go back to the shire you ugly fucking hobbit. ALSO.
NO takebacks on the teabagger moniker. They wanted to be called fucking teabaggers, and teabaggers they shall be for evermore. And we are laughing at them because they are retarded, not because they like to suckle on nutsacks. What they do with their trucknutz is their own damn business.
Tommmcatt: It was tight. Although easily refuted:
http://blogs.timesunion.com/capitol/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/aptopix-obama-2008.jpg
HOMEY DON’T PLAY THAT = IN LIVING COLOR = EARLY FOX (back when they were cool)
That person last watched comedy with black people in it back in 1987.
THE TAXMAN COMETH…
Why just complain about paying taxes when you can SING about complaining about paying taxes?!?
Watch “Goin’ to the C.P.A. (The Tax Song)” at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-Groi6Ziio
See more parodies at http://parodyandson.blogspot.com
Stop! it burns!
Teabagging, explained:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGNWCwCrUKk
The babelessness of this movement ensures that it will not meet with success. They should get Susan Boyle on board. http://www.willisms.com/archives/2005/03/more_on_the_bab_1.html
I’ll bet that if it weren’t so wet they would be burning their US flags but not their confederate ones.
Raivyn6: The tea parties and the participants pretty much slam themselves. And why don’t you move to Somalia? Small government. No taxes. It’ll be heaven.
Rather funny to be called “Sheeple” by some fool who’s been totally worked by “OH NO WE DIDN’T **PROMOTE** THIS!!!” Faux News, who’ve promoted the *shit* out of it. Roger Ailes thanks you for doing his patrician bidding, getting out there and getting all wet to keep him from having to cough up another 3% on his taxes. The poor baby.
DogNog: With so many Ayn Randians around, what self-respecting woman would be there? You know, cuz of the rape and whatnot.
TeddyS: A good community organizer could show ‘em how it’s done but he’s too busy raising their taxes and killin’ their babies and being French or Kenyan or both.
It all makes my head spin.
Raivyn6: see me
Well, I’ll give the tea-baggers this: I have never, thoroughly enjoyed a Tax Day so much.
If you just look at the people w/out the signs, it looks like they are protesting healthy food and style!
Raivyn6: I’m also impressed at your ability to actually gauge someone’s race over the radio. It’s not like people who call those talk shows ever *LIE* ….
The Helvetica Scenario: Yes. They must. “Hi! I’m *BLACK* and I hate Socialist Obama. Do y’all white people like me now? Pleeeze???”
irisheyesagain: Boy, do I feel stupid! When I tried teabagging, all I got was scalded balls and a disgusting bacon-flavoured cuppa.
Raivyn6: “There are plenty of black folks attending the Tea Parties, hundreds of black folks have been calling the radio talk shows today offering support for the message, and reporting on what was happening at the parties they attended.”
What, are they still invisible? I thought they got that fixed.
From now on, Obama should make it a point to be photographed — at every opportunity possible, and with the smuggest grin on his face that he can manage — drinking tea.
And he should take up smoking again… KOOLS!
Raivyn6: “hundreds of black folks have been calling the radio talk shows today offering support for the message”, ya and some blacks helped lynch other blacks to save their own black skins, so racism does not exist! also black black black black. 100s out of millions, Oh ya I’m black also
wonderboom: He should have walked out to where the threw the teabags over on the WH lawn with a cup of hot water. He should have taken a tea bag (one still in the box), put in the hot water, grinned, waved, and walked away.
SnarkNotFark: HOLY CRAP careful NSFW jeebus critters.
So THIS is what they look like without their white robes on. I see what you’re doing there.
jumpthesnark: Someone’s not aware of all internet traditions
Just imagine Hopey pausing in the middle of a news conference to pack his KOOLS while taking a cup of tea, label conspicuously dangling over the side, from some aide with an enormous FRO… and then reaching out to adjust his TeLePRmtR before continuing. These fkrs would start speaking in tongues with steam coming outta their fukkking ears.
comradepaulson: Oh! What a missed opportunity!
Raivyn6: Perhaps, and I know I’m going out on a limb here, people don’t understand what the teabagging is all about because the teabaggers are too busy making hilarious quasi-racist french-bashing protest signs to actually put together a coherent message.
Seriously, man, if your movement is horribly disorganized it isn’t our fault.
My fave signs from today’s teabagging events:
1. Obamurkel - C’mon, he’s adorkable.
2. Obama’s Plan: White Slavery - At last, whitey up against the wall!
3. We Are A Christian Nation - That’s GOD BLESS AMERICA to you, atheist heathen Frenchy.
4. No Taxs (sic) For Illegals - Everyone would buy an “illegal” if the taxes weren’t so damn high.
5. Welcome to France - ‘Cuz France is bad. And French, which is really, really bad. Go Gaul!
Ha ha a memo to tea party-goers not to get fooled by the evil, arugula-eating journalists at the HuffPo?! That’s classic…
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/04/disgruntled-conservatives-use-poor.html
Blog pimp warning (although to soften it I’ve made the photos available to the Wonkette if she wants them). I took about a hundred photos at the Atlanta teabagger’s rally and have posted a few of them at http://wingnutsinthewild.blogspot.com
When I figure out a good location I’ll make the rest of the photos publicly available.
Nope sorry– if you’re going to organize some sort of political movement and give it a silly name that most people know of as a dirty act and then shudder when everybody makes fun of it, you got nobody to blame but yourselves.
“There are plenty of black folks attending the Tea Parties, hundreds of black folks have been calling the radio talk shows today offering support for the message, and reporting on what was happening at the parties they attended.”
That’s a lie. A damned dirty lie!
These people are the percentage of the population public school teachers astutely diagnose as “dumber than bricks” in 2nd grade. Just sayin’.
Raivyn6: We sincerely, from the bottom of our trucknutz, thank you and your “organization” for this day. May Allah bless you, and FOX, my “fairly imbalanced” friend.
pglass: Win (cough).
wonderboom: I thank them from the bottom of my freighter-nutz, which teabag Somali pirates.
hailripley: What, blackface doesn’t count?
aight the teabagging is getting old. WHERE ARE THE TRUCKNUTZ?
Wide Stance Wednesday is over. Thank you. Also.
They show “In Living Color” in Wingnuttopia? How long have these fuckers been waiting for a colored for to use these old pop culture references in a racist way?
alan keyes doesn’t count
comradepaulson: I think we have a love connection. So, you teabag here often?
Teabags? Is that all they’ve got? They need to burn their Social Security cards, refuse to file their income tax returns, stage huge riotous demonstrations like the anti-WTO folks. They need to get together in little angry secret groups and plan the overthrow of the United States government, set fire to the post office, run red lights, go to DC and shit on the Capitol lawn. If they’re really pissed off, they wouldn’t act like such malleable chucklehead pussies. Teabags! Oh, fuck. What a revolution. Oh, my god.
The Helvetica Scenario: No, apparently the “black people” call the talk radio shows–by the hundreds–and say things like “Homey don’t play dat!” Come on, can’t you read the sign? Would a teabagger lie to us?
wonderboom: My nutsack is frequently on display in these here parts.
comradepaulson: We should hate America together again sometime.
Raivyn6: I was at the Atlanta teabaggers party. I saw one African American (in an area which under normal circumstances I’d see many black people). The only other minority I saw seemed to be of Indian or Pakistani descent. Atlanta is a city with no shortage of African Americans, yet the crowd of what seemed to be at least two thousand teabaggers was so devoid of minorities that I only saw two.
wonderboom: Agreed.
I will never stop laughing at the term “Teabaggers!” Its like NOT trying to NOT laugh at fart jokes. Its just impossible because it appeals to our primal humor. This (bowel) “movement” will never be able to recover from the cognitive dissonance of their primary message of “‘We hate Fags, N*ggers and Love Our Guns more than Mama’ but have to call it something else, so lets call it ‘TEABAGGING!’” hilarity! Try as the wingers might, they just can’t dismiss that kind of hysterically funny stupidity.
phineas_bounderby: Didn’t you read what Raivyn6 wrote? They were all at home calling the radio stations to tell Obama to go back to France.. er, Kenya.. er, China?
Texan Bulldoggette: You mean we’ve got to put up with them crashing America’s and Malia’s birthday parties? Geesh.
I’m angry that Raivyn6 out retarded me with her real rant. god damn america !
iolanthe: why don’t you move to Somalia? Small government. No taxes. It’ll be heaven.
WIN.
Laura Ingraham just looooves teabags. Dirty freak hag bitch.
SnarkNotFark: oh god. OH GOD. What the WHAT the what was that?! DON’T ANSWER.
El Pinche: second place for most retarded rant on a freep comment section is actually better than first place. Even if the first place contender happened to post here.
Texan Bulldoggette: Can I have some coffee now? Please? Also.
El Pinche: FTW motherfucker.
WAKE UP SHEEPLE OF ‘MERICA!
someone prayed for rain?
No one in these photos is drinking tea.
HAWT video of gay porn star TEABAGGING in West Hollywood today!
http://blog.unzipped.net/2009/04/unzipped-goes-teabagging-with-wolf-hudson.html
phineas_bounderby: I swung by the one in Memphis (briefly, I had far better places to be), and in a city where whites are in fact a minority, there was not one single black person there. Every last one of those motherfuckers probably came in from the exurbs.
That first picture: is that any way to treat the flag of the US of A?
Am I the only one that knows that his name is Rivers?
Chuckie Jesus: Well it’s ok for negros to act silly and make us laugh, but hey, one as Preznint??? That’s something else.
Somehow I don’t think that photo will become as
iconic as that blanket-draped couple from Woodstock ‘69.