Restoring public confidence in our nation's banking institutions!North Carolinians, did you know your only national senator besides godless Kay Hagan is some guy who wanted his wife to withdraw his family’s entire savings from his local bank one ATM transaction at a time? If everyone had done this back in September, maybe we really could have had a good old-fashioned Depressiony bank run like in olden times.

Here is a little secret: Banks do not keep all of their deposits on hand, in cash, all the time. So if everybody collects their deposits on the same day, the banks will quickly run out of cash and then there is a BIG OL FREAKOUT. This is called a “bank run,” and it is not usually encouraged by people like senators from states that are home to major banking institutions.

Also, true fact: Most ATMs only allow you to withdraw $300 or so a day, in cash, although maybe if you have a fancy account they’ll let you take like a grand? (Ha ha, guess who does not have a fancy account for reference purposes!)

During a speech on the economy last night, Burr related his immediate reaction the week the crisis began. After hearing Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson relay a story about a major company having trouble transferring money between banks, Burr became worried about the solvency of his own bank.

“On Friday night, I called my wife and I said, ‘Brooke, I am not coming home this weekend. I will call you on Monday. Tonight, I want you to go to the ATM machine, and I want you to draw out everything it will let you take,” Burr said, according to the Hendersonville Times-News. “And I want you to tomorrow, and I want you to go Sunday.’ I was convinced on Friday night that if you put a plastic card in an ATM machine the last thing you were going to get was cash.”

…So maybe this fancy senator only has as much in his account as your average plumber on payday. Who knows!

Other quibbles: It is not “ATM machine,” it is just “ATM,” unless you are truly referring to the increasingly rare “automatic teller machine machine.”

The point is, Senator Richard Burr, man, what a dingus. Should have just sent his wife in to talk to a teller.

Burr told family to withdraw everything from bank [The Hill]

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  1. Dingus, how about dumbass panicky fruit-whipped little fairy with cheese between his ears? With brainiacs like this in the most exclusive club in the world it’s a miracle any legislation more than a paragraph long ever gets passed.

  2. Don’t forget Charlotte’s own Wachovia/Wells Fargo/whatever they are this week… yeah, that’s real responsible Senatorial policy. What did he think he was going to get out of the ATM? Ameros?

  3. Do you see why I moved away from this goddamn state, now?! Reps like Patrick McHenry and Burr make me ashamed of my North Cakalaky past.

  4. Friday night – bank closed – no tellers. Drive through the front window and blow the safe. Must get money out. Fake passports in box behind third brick from right, fourth row down on the mantle. Dye your hair. Password – What is a putz with no brain? Reply – Who, me?

  5. Sara dear, I love you, but you and Peter Sagal have GOT to stop with the ‘true fact’ but. It’s redundant, just as ATM machine is redundant.

  6. Just a minute – just a minute. Now, hold on, Mr. Burr. You’re right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap, penny-ante Building and Loan, I’ll never know. But neither you nor anyone else can say anything against his character, because his whole life was – why, in the twenty-five years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing, he never once thought of himself. Isn’t that right, Uncle Billy? He didn’t save enough money to send Harry to asshole, er, MBA school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of your suburbs away from the Neegrows, Mr. Burr, and what’s wrong with that? Why – here, you’re all supposedly businessmen here. Doesn’t it make them better citizens? Doesn’t it make them better customers? You – you said – what’d you say a minute ago? They had to wait and save their money before they even ought to think of a decent flat screen TV. Wait? Wait for what? Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they’re so old and broken down that they… Do you know how long it takes a working man to save five thousand dollars let alone five ameroes? Just remember this, Mr. Burr, that this rabble you’re talking about… they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of SUVs and McMansion? Anyway, my father didn’t think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated man aka Republican, they’re cattle. Well, in my book he died a much richer man than you’ll ever be.

  7. You mean there’s a legislator who is (presumably) allowed to vote on major finance issues and he knows nothing about how banks work? Did he know his own employer insures accounts up to a quarter million dollars? He might have had something to do with that.

  8. [re=289964]Min[/re]: Nuh-uh, Tennessee totally has that one lake, Pickwick or whatever. There’s like, 0.1 beaches there. I think. I can’t remember, it’s been a while.

  9. [re=289963]rev_matt_y[/re]: I think that the last 8 years have shown that we do indeed need to distinguish between true facts and false facts…

  10. Burr ran as a Bush fellating, war loving redneck pandering white dude, and his schtick is going out of style in NC. Yes, we still have wingtards galore here, but remember, we just kicked Libby Dole to the curb and went blue for Obama.
    Also, that town of Henderson has a big time, hilarious church “investment club” scandal going where the church investment club president is stealing everyone’s money for Jeebus, who is apparently telling him to buy fancy cars and McMansions for himself.

  11. “Last night, an armed gunman attempted an armed robbery of an ATM machine. He is waiting trial at the prison jail” Unconfirmed True Fact.

  12. [re=289971]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Sen. Burr, you’re thinking of this place all wrong. As if I had the money back in a safe. The money’s not here. Your money’s in Joe Biden’s house; that’s right next to yours. And in the Kennedy house, and Mrs. Bachmann’s house, and a hundred others. Why, you’re lending them the money to build, and then, they’re going to pay it back to you as best they can. Now what are you going to do? Foreclose on them?…Now wait…now listen…now listen to me. I beg of you not to do this thing. If Geithner gets hold of this Building and Loan there’ll never be another decent house built in this town. He’s already got charge of the bank. He’s got General Motors. He got the department stores. And now he’s after us. Why? Well, it’s very simple. Because we’re cutting in on his business, that’s why. And because he wants to keep you living in his slums and paying the kind of rent he decides. Joe, you had one of those Geithner houses, didn’t you? Well, have you forgotten? Have you forgotten what he charged you for that broken-down shack? Here, Ed. You know, you remember last year when things weren’t going so well, and you couldn’t make your payments? You didn’t lose your house, did you? Do you think Geithner would have let you keep it? Can’t you understand what’s happening here? Don’t you see what’s happening? Geithner isn’t selling. Geithner’s buying! And why? Because we’re panicking and he’s not. That’s why. He’s picking up some bargains. Now, we can get through this thing all right. We’ve got to stick together, though. We’ve got to have faith in each other.

  13. George BaileyYou’re thinking of this place all wrong. As if I had the money back in a safe. The, the money’s not here. Well, your money’s in Joe’s house…that’s right next to yours. And in the Kennedy House, and Mrs. Macklin’s house, but most of it is in Brooke Burr’s greedy little hands since she’s been coming down to the fucking ATM every day this weekend and bleeding us dry.

    CrowdLet’s get her!


  14. Well, being that he probably doesn’t believe in birth control, yet only has two sons, I’d say Richard Burr knows a thing or two about quick withdrawals.

  15. In “The Truth: With Jokes,” Al Franken discusses the number of laws Jr. broke when he denigrated the soundness of American currency during his rush to privatize social security. I know that this is a relatively minor episode in the annals of Bush law-breaking, but entertaining nonetheless. It just confirms that the Bush-felating wing of this country is not concerned with anything but their own tee-times and uninterrupted oxy supply.

  16. Burr: FDIC? I thought FDIC stood for the “Federal Department of Inspecting for Communists” that our socialist leader is trying to get rid of.

  17. [re=289998]Lazy Media[/re]: Every time I see this, I can’t help but think of the Simpsons’ version.

    George Bailey Knock-off: “Now, listen – the money’s not here; it’s in Bill’s house, and Fred’s house…”
    Member of enraged mob: “What are you doing with *my money* in your house, Fred?!” *starts punching*

  18. [re=289998]Lazy Media[/re]: ah, jeez, we gotta buncha houses we gotta bust into to get our money back, izzat what yer sayin? looks like an all-night job. better snag some take-out an’ call the missus.

  19. Sadly… this doesn’t surprise me.
    If only you saw what goes on at the municipal and county levels on a daily basis in NC…. oh lord. Hell, we just had a state representative file for re-election while being convicted and sentenced to prison for obstruction of justice, fraud, etc. last fall. The general assembly had to expel him because, sadly, there were people here who would have voted for him, prison time and all.

  20. Did his wife later claim that when she was going to the ATM a black man mugged her and carved a backwards ‘B’ on her face?

  21. Other quibbles: It is not “ATM machine,” it is just “ATM” …

    He probably also told his wife to find a safe place to write down the PIN number.

  22. Also, true fact: Most ATMs only allow you to withdraw $300 or so a day, in cash, although maybe if you have a fancy account they’ll let you take like a grand? (Ha ha, guess who does not have a fancy account for reference purposes!)

    Hey, SKS, my bank account doesn’t limit the size of my ATM withdrawals. Wanna bone?

  23. Funny story. Up here in Jersey, people call ATM’s “MAC” machines because they used to all say “MAC” on them. So like an idiot once when I was in France – on the big campus of my then employer, I asked one of the French persons if there was a MAC machine around. They took me on a long walk up and down stairs, isleways and past the fancy French cafeteria where I figured it would be located. We end up in someone’s office. I am starting to get suspicious that perhaps that there is some sort of communications breakdown underway. After some French-talking and handwaving, the guy at the desk then gets out of his seat and offers me the mouse to his Macintosh PC.

  24. I guess this assclown has never heard of withdrawal fees? Or cash advance fees of 19%?

    Can someone tell me why right-wingers are inherently retarded tools?
    Is it genetic?

  25. To be fair, he was probably thinking “ATF” machine, and just trying to drive the jackbooted thugs into bankruptcy. An understandable mistake.

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