Angry mob fun run.Some old white dude in Stockton is starting a militia because the police might have a few layoffs. He’s got 270 fellow gun nuts ready to, uh, hit the streets and take out the trash! Just avoid the hell out of Stockton for, let’s see, how about forever? Yes, Forever sounds good.

“They’re going to have rifles, shotguns, pistols — whatever they get their hands on,” said 66-year-old Alan Pettet. “We’re not going to go out looking for trouble, but the first person who fires on us, will get a lot of return fire going his way.”

Stop this. Send some Lipton’s to the mayor or whatever, but stop this shit.

Stockton Militia Organizer Claims Strong Support [ABC News 10]

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  • facehead

    Stockton Syndrome?

  • chascates

    A car filled with four heavily-armed untrained ‘Hammers in search of a Nail’ is an idea that is bound to spread.

  • JesseJB

    Well I guess I will be avoiding Stockton! Oh wait. This won’t change my bahavior at all.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Stockton, California or Stockton, New Jersey?

  • dsdrane

    I like turtles!

  • shortsshortsshorts
  • BillyClubb

    We’re not going to go out looking for trouble, but the first person who fires on us, will get a lot of return fire going his way.

    This is going to be the genesis of some huge tragedy. I can see the headline now: “Young Boy Shot While Setting Off Firecrackers.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    So how’s that not-paying-taxes thing going, guys?

  • El Pinche

    With all of these nutcases come out of the wood work getting their inspiration from glenn beck and hannity, something BAD is bound to happen soon.

  • WagTehGod

    It’s not like pre-militia Stockton was worth going to either. Although I got a good deal on meth at the Denny’s off I-5 once.

  • The Unfairman

    I hope someone fires on them. Like, with a flamethrower. And napalm.

    Loves me some napalm.

  • Delicious

    Stockton, a respite from the hurly burly of Fresno!

  • YesWeKant

    This should improve the local economy. Nothing says “come visit our fair city” like gun nuts on parade.

  • wonderboom

    These guys have clearly not thought this through. They are totally going to miss the American Idol finales.

  • hoosiermama

    Strait outta Stockton, yo

  • Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof.

    “We’ll have four men in a car, and as many cars as we can put out there”, said Pettet.

    Ohhhhh, so it’s like that. For a second, I thought it would be dangerous; now I think it will be Kenneth Anger.

  • stew

    With all the news of late, you’d think America was overflowing with angry white trash losers. Oh yeah…

  • Scandalabra

    I used to drive a cab in Frisco back in the day (’76). Once I (against my better judgment) I picked up two yuppie assholes outside a fern bar on Union Street. They were drunk as shit–said “take us to Stockton”. It was a slow night, so I thought, “WTF?” Forty-five minutes later I pulled into the asshole’s suburban drive and he puked all over the backseat of my cab. His BF just giggled. I demanded cab-fare from the infuriated harridan wife, which she reluctantly gave up, but bitch would not help me clean up her husband’s vomit off my backseat. I had to go to a gas station to perform this duty, then spend the rest of the night finding my way back to the city. I have voted Democratic ever since, and get gay-married every chance I get.

  • The Church of Realism

    Snake Plissken moved from NY to Stockton for the challenge.

  • Gopherit

    Is it profiling if police start pulling over carloads of fat old white men with guns in stockton?

  • Delicious

    Mmmmmm, Civony girl…

  • badmuthagoose

    I don’t even know where Stockton is. Besides, I live in Texas. Like I’m afraid of people with guns or something, please. Even my liberal lesbian left-handed legally blind latte sipping Latina friend has two.

  • grevillea

    I misread it as Stockholm. Which did not fit with my preconceptions of middle-aged Swedish men as a bunch of overeducated, tweed-jacketed, goateed, akvavit-sipping chaps at a Schoenberg concert in a birch-lined modernist concert hall.

  • erectiledisfunction

    Stockton … the armpit of California. And in a state full of armpits, that says a lot. I wonder if there will be lynchings? Is this happening in Wasilla too?

  • McDuff

    Will the “four men in a car” provide their own white sheets and hoods, or do they want the city to provide those too? Enquiring minds want to know!

  • grevillea

    [re=289500]Gopherit[/re]: That’s profiling we can believe in!

  • loquaciousmusic

    270 people are driving around in Admiral Stockdale? I’m so confused.

  • Mad Farmer Manifest

    Ohhh kayyyyyyy. My small town has already had one unemployed good old boy rob a credit union with a bomb this year. The teller knew him personally, natch, and he fled up a road that basically dead ends. Not smart on many levels. The police handled it well (including my relative on the force) and no one got hurt. No imagine some gun nuts are on the case, spraying lead into random houses along the way and causing multiple accidents while they are in hot pursuit. I hope these nuts get arrested and sentenced to cellmate sodomy. Or teabagging.

  • wonderboom

    [re=289500]Gopherit[/re]: If they’re wearing baggy jeans w/ “greatest grampa” boxers hanging out, then yes.

  • Crank Tango

    I am sure DHS has a website where they can turn themselves in, er, register to serve as official militias.

    UM I say we forget about Irakistan and bring the military home to start setting up these FEMA concentration camps I have been hearing so much about. Personally, I would like to volunteer for an ACORN Death Squad.

  • smashtheduck

    Before this, the only thing I knew about Stockton was they cooked a lot of meth. So this is not exactly shocking.

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    What’s the deal, is Branson, Missouri closed for renovations and NASCAR having a bye week?

  • Beetletheknee

    [re=289475]dsdrane[/re]: Win!

  • Alabama Parrot

    Thank you for sharing this. I checked my atlas and can find no Stockton in Alabama. I am shocked that such a progressive, visionary state as California would have such maroons. Also Chuck Manson.


    Because I was just DYING to go to Stockton

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    I’m seeing a Mission Accomplished ceremony on a riding lawn mower with codpieces of Depends.

    And lots of dead dogs … in the rigor mortis of mid-lawn pooping …

    But not much else.

  • Min

    Lipton’s, hell. Send Prozac.

  • lovekills

    Don’t hate on Stockton! They have great tractor pulls and monster truck rallies. It is real merika

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    [re=289504]grevillea[/re]: Those are the Danes, mothah. You can tell because they all do climate modelling on Linux Beowulf clusters just for a relaxing break from winning chess tournaments.

  • chascates

    [re=289476]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You’re always ahead of the rest of the class.

    [re=289485]The Unfairman[/re]: Flamethrowers are legal to buy. The same Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot always features demos of flamethrowers. WWII, Korea, and Vietnam era and they start around $500. Or used to.

  • Fear of a Black Reagan

    Personally, I would like to volunteer for an ACORN Death Squad.

    I’m with ya. Let’s shape up, fellow libtards! If only wingnuts have guns, all guns will have trucknutz. Is that Change We Can Believe In? Nope.

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    I guess Bakersfield is too gayed up and froo froo now …

  • Spiderfrommars

    Although Stockton has a reputation for being a tough town, I saw a bumpersticker there that read “It’s OK not to shoot up” so how bad can it be?

  • Servo

    Who, may I ask, will be watching the mean streets of Stockton when it’s 10¢ wings night at the VFW? Hmmm?

  • comradepaulson

    OT: Wonkette just got a major shout out on Maddow. Which one of you is Rachel?

  • Will work for shoes

    [re=289482]El Pinche[/re]: Yep. And that scares me.

  • Will work for shoes

    [re=289508]grevillea[/re]: It would be a *change*

  • Hooray For Anything

    I’m sure those members of the militia will be quite okay then with paying higher taxes to keep the cops on the beat and are huge supporters of the stimulus package as it’s supposed to give money to the state’s to help fight off just such a thing.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Just stay off the crazy streets when it’s Bingo night down at the senior center.

  • lovekills

    [re=289540]Hooray For Anything[/re]: We are already paying higher state taxes for the next couple of years. Pretty much off sets the fed tax cuts for most Californians. But your right about the stim money.

  • wheelie

    Yo yo yo
    Straight out of Stockton
    We da Pensioner Posse
    We old skool, We Olds rule
    Two hunnerd and seventy
    We be featured on Hannity
    We be suckin’ on da peppermintz
    While we act as police supplementz

    [re=289534]comradepaulson[/re]: Seriously? More info please.

  • Cicada

    Having spent some time in Stockton, I can say with authority, that it’s a meth-ridden shit hole.

    I can’t wait to see what “fun” these gun-totin’ grampas will get into when they confront a tweeker whose been up for three days robbing a 7-11.

    Good times.

  • Cape Clod

    I give it two weeks before these imbeciles start opening fire on each other.

  • Cicada

    [re=289547]Cicada[/re]: ugh. Sorry for the extra comma.

  • comradepaulson

    [re=289546]wheelie[/re]: Right at the beginning of the show. She showed a teabag post and called us “cheerfully profane.” Not true, nobody here is fucking cheerful.

    Who here is from the Maddow show? Come on, out yourself, you silly producer or intern!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=289550]comradepaulson[/re]: Ann Marie Cox probably made her do it… she used to be the editor here, you know— right before she SOLD OUT AND STARTED EATING BABIES.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=289543]lovekills[/re]: Eh…good point. But while I’m okay with paying those taxes because it will help California pay for important social services like the police (or my unemployment checks), my guess is that those guys aren’t. In fact, my guess is that most of those guys are going to be doing some teabagging tomorrow.

  • Hooray For Anything

    True story…friend went to the gun range yesterday for fun but was told he couldn’t because they were out of ammo. Turns out there’s an ammo shortage out there because there’s been a run on it over the past few months.

  • lovekills

    [re=289552]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Ya, they were probably at some John and Ken anti-tax rally last month, crying like little girls. So the guns make them feel like men again, ahhhhh. much. better. also.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    I think they should call themselves the Senor Cialis Brigade and all should wear Napolean hats and crossed bandoliers. They could put bananas in their pants for the Fourth of July parade. Suggested motto: “Pacemakers on Patrol.”

  • DC Hates Me

    I get the feeling that Alan Pettet is a lonely, old crank with a head full of bad crazy. Calling up newspapers with crazy ideas, harrassing politicians, you get the picture.

  • comradepaulson

    [re=289551]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Too true. It’s like Wonkette and all things connected Wonkette are seeping into the MSNBC family, bit by bit. Soon, the NBC Peacock will be replaced by a multi-colored set of Trucknutz.

    BTW, those of us from Michigan sneer at your little Stockton Militia. Our Militia is way scarier, wing-nuttier and they made cheesecake calenders featuring womenz with gunz. When your militia has a Miss March holding an Uzi, then I’ll be quivering in my booties.

  • Servo

    “You WANT me on that wall! You NEED me on that wall!”

  • lovekills

    Now I’m thinking about it….why 4 men to a car, fucking pussy men. Do they not know this is how gang bangers roll?

  • Uncle Glenny

    [re=289553]Hooray For Anything[/re]: From the “rightwing extremism” report listed on huffpo and referenced by Greenwald today:

    “Open source reporting of wartime ammunition shortages has likely spurred
    rightwing extremists—as well as law-abiding Americans—to make bulk purchases of
    ammunition. These shortages have increased the cost of ammunition, further
    exacerbating rightwing extremist paranoia and leading to further stockpiling activity.”

    I guess it’s kind of like why supermarkets here (Boston area) seem to have runs on toilet paper before snowstorms.

    btw, whoever said earlier today that huffpo jumped the shark should have been specific, because it’s not like the home page is static and anyone later can be sure what the f you were talking about.

  • Uncle Glenny

    [re=289561]lovekills[/re]: they don’t want to have to take anyone into custody. Just shoot ’em and leave ’em I suppose.

  • Zadig

    [re=289559]comradepaulson[/re]: Hardball with Juli Weiner?

  • DoctorCulturae

    Why doesn’t Stockton just declare itself part of Idaho and call it a day. Maybe they’ll take over an Arby’s.

  • Juice Newton’s Bastard Child

    And what’s really groovy is the Supreme Court last year pretty much said people like this are heroes….

  • snideinplainsight

    [re=289533]Servo[/re]: Oh, God. 10 cent wings. Do I miss upstate –

  • Zadig

    [re=289564]Zadig[/re]: Also, “Hardball” will be spoken as some sort of bizzare triple-entendre.

  • lovekills

    [re=289563]Uncle Glenny[/re]: What a concept, Stockton: Land of the dead. Bloody idiots.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=289474]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Chchnya

  • S.Luggo

    [re=289482]El Pinche[/re]: It happened. McCain/Palin 2008.

  • Rush

    Don’t tell me, the favorite beverage is Stockton is tea. Meanwhile, some iceberg off Greenland just melted.

  • lovekills

    [re=289576]Rush[/re]: Thats what happens when you put lettuce in the freezer, disaster!!!! also.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=289564]Zadig[/re]: Hahahaha NO COMMENT.

  • DeepFriedTwinkies

    An armed Alzheimer’s patrol. What could possibly go wrong?

  • ALIVE!

    Well helloooo there Civony.

  • Servo

    If I yelled “Hey, Cooter!” into this posse of 270 morans, 220 of them would turn and say “Wha?”.

  • wheelie

    [re=289550]comradepaulson[/re]: Pretty cool – a nice Happy Birthday for Wonkette. I hope someone grabbed the video. I’d like to see that.

  • Dr Tobias Funke

    Humm lets see- on the low end:
    2 cases of bud heavy / Marlboro reds = $50
    1 tank of gas-$50
    Ammo / Guns- $50
    =$150 / month * 300 wackos = 45000 / month * 12 months = 540,000

    Police officer salary @45,000

    Thus for the same of less then these morons would spend driving around pistol whipping the colored folk, About 12 new cops… Or maybe a fee or ‘tax’ of $5-10 for every citizen and…. omg! no police officers!

  • grevillea

    [re=289579]DeepFriedTwinkies[/re]: win

  • lovekills

    [re=289584]Dr Tobias Funke[/re]: You make the maths sing :)

  • Hunger Tallest Palin

    [re=289477]BillyClubb[/re]: Or, their “squad car” will backfire and solve a lot of problems all at once.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Sorry, I haven’t read all the comments, but I presume these old fart minutemen also oppose the stimulus thus resulting in the laying off of the real policemen because I’m sure the irony of that would totally escape them.

  • S.Luggo

    “They’re going to have rifles, shotguns, pistols — whatever they get their hands on.” “We’re not going to go out looking for trouble, but the first person who fires on us, will get a lot of return fire going his way.”
    – A warning from the Somali pirates.
    History repeats itself.

    Honi soit …

  • rocktonsammy

    Get the next of kin phone numbers ready.

  • lovekills

    [re=289590]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Pretty close. No, wait your right. How did you know this? Incredible.

  • prophet1195

    What, the Simpleton Okies run out of nutty preachers to rapture them they have to have suicide by cop?

  • Bearbloke

    I drove through Stockton once… as fast as I could with the windows rolled up…

  • lovekills

    [re=289594]prophet1195[/re]: Simpleton Californians. Sorry to correct you. We have are fair share, trust me.

  • Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    [re=289494]Scandalabra[/re]: That was my fav comment of the day. Though if I had lived in Frisco in the 70’s I most definately wouldn’t be alive. I barely survived Backstreets in Atlanta.

  • imissopus


    [re=289584]Dr Tobias Funke[/re]: You forgot to add the cost to taxpayers of housing these douchebags in Pelican Bay for extended periods of time when they go nuts and shoot a bunch of people. Though luckily they are old and will thus die before serving out long prison terms.

  • comradepaulson

    I’m sorry to be the official OT television watcher on this thread. But we have a freighter-nutz sighing. Comedy Central. 11:00.

  • comradepaulson

    Not sighing. Sighting! Freighter-nutz don’t sigh.

  • Lazy Media

    This will last about one four-hour shift, assuming ol’ Crusty there can get three of his VFW buddies to get in his car with him. Then they’ll figure out that driving around randomly without being able to talk to a 911 dispatcher is a REALLY bad way to find crimes in progress. If the cops don’t bust them for illegally carrying loaded guns, they’ll get bored and go home.

  • DP

    Oh crap!!! When I clicked on this I thought the headline was ” Old White Guys in STOCKINGS Form Militia.” I’d buy that for a dollar.

  • hockeymom

    Stockton and Wasilla…a race to the bottom.

  • hockeymom

    Remember that family from X-Files who kept their mother under the floorboards so they could continually impregnate her? If you ever get lost in the Delta, just outside of Stockton, you’ll probably run into them.

  • brianbull1

    Hmm, Stockton,gun nuts,this sounds familiar,but just can’t quite place it. Fuck it anyone wanna go to McDonalds?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=289602]comradepaulson[/re]: Saw it too. If all boats had such Nutz, them damn pirates would be too awed to do anything.

  • comradepaulson

    [re=289613]hockeymom[/re]: I’m hearing Johnny Mathis off in the distance. Locking door now…

  • youareanidiot

    Ugh! These idiots were out in full force in parts of New Orleans after the hurricane in 2005. We still don’t know the death toll from their activities.

  • hockeymom

    [re=289616]comradepaulson[/re]: I had forgotten that part. Well, I guess I know what tonight’s nightmare will be.

  • lovekills

    [re=289615]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You missed the red meme. Nobama loves the muslins and just wants to sit down and talk about their mother issues.

  • obfuscator

    gee, i sure hope psycho bitters across the nation pick up on this well-planned model of civic involvement.

  • El Pinche

    [re=289614]brianbull1[/re]: That had to be the most disturbing episode of any show on TV….well, not the most disturbing. Everytime i catch a glimpse that the Glenn Beck show, my eyes get ass raped.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=289613]hockeymom[/re]: Loved that episode & the one where the pet dog (a Pomeranian) ate the dead dude’s (I think Peter Boyle of “Everybody Loves Raymond”) entrails because no one seemed to miss him. Something we should all seek to avoid.

  • El Pinche

    [re=289622]El Pinche[/re]: that was ment for hockeymom’s comment. IM NOTT DRUQNK!

  • lovekills

    [re=289625]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Ok, I’m out. I have a pom and if the little shit ever stops eating underwear and tissue according to you people it will be my body next. Can I have some peace? I’m going to have a cup of tea, you people are sick.

  • V572625694

    [re=289494]Scandalabra[/re]: He was going to be an actress, and you were going to learn to fly? He took off to find the footlights….

  • gjdodger

    “We’ll have four men in a car, and as many cars as we can put out there”

    And they’ll be dressed like

  • shortsshortsshorts

    As long as everybody knows the cure:

  • Mr Blifil

    Four men in a car? What happens when they apprehend somebody? Just drag them behind the car back to the “station?”

  • Crow T. Robot

    I’ve lost track of the conversation, but let me just say I, for one, welcome King Mob.

    Other than some small local tragedies that will not happen to anyone I know, I figure this can only accelerate what all the recent murder-suicides have begun: the universal realization that we’re all scum & robots should be driving our cars and protecting us from harming ourselves.

    As long as they’ll let me smoke hash (after they find me some hash), I’m good with that.

  • trondant

    [re=289550]comradepaulson[/re]: Huh. Stewart put a humongous pair of Freighter Nutz on that Maersk line ship tonight. So, the media takeover plan continues apace. also.

  • assistant/atlas

    Um, Stockton? You guys do realize the Attorney General of your state is Edmund Gerald “Jerry “Moonie” Brown” Brown, Jr.

    Waiting for the tards to do the Google. Yes, THAT Jerry Brown. I am almost giddy with anticipation.

  • trondant

    or, what you already said.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=289633]Mr Blifil[/re]: If that’s good enough for the folks in Jasper, TX, that’s good enough for the folks in Cal-i-for-nye-ay.

  • lovekills

    [re=289637]assistant/atlas[/re]: No google necessary. I may be a wanna be hippie, but I love the Jerry Brown. Bring em on!!

  • mr. wunnerful

    We should be able to spot them easy enough , though , cruising in the fast lane at 27 miles per hour with their left turn signal on……

  • imissopus

    The chant of “Jerry! Jerry!” is a familiar one in Stockton for a multitude of reasons.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=289639]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I hope the city of Stockton acquiesces to their every demand, except they require them to ride around individually on goofy-looking Segways instead of 4 to a car. Difficult to look badass on a Segway. They’d probably all quit within 3 days.

  • itgetter

    Oh jebus. I think I’ve hit my scary-as-shit-winger quotient for the week. I’m not sure I can drag myself to the local teabagging party tomorrow, even to send in pix to Wonkette.

  • itgetter

    One confused local replies to a facebook invite by posting on the Syracuse group wall:

    “Hey Meg! What fun! Donavan actually has a doctor’s appointment, so don’t think I will make it. We will have to find another time to get together though. I have been meaning to write as I still have a question for you. Will soon. Enjoy tea!”

    I prefer these friendly, dumb folk to their angrier, batshittier counterparts.

  • lovekills

    OT: I saw a diary from Angry Blak Guy today on Kos, Should we help him??

  • mr. wunnerful

    Domestic Terrorists

  • mr. wunnerful

    “In the city…..the city of Stockton…..keep it rockin’

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    Straight outta Stockton
    Got my Depends on
    Don’t know what my friends on
    They out on the lawn, bringin’ it on
    Chuggin some Mylanta
    I say, dood, wash it down with Fanta
    They say the lime
    I say the lemon
    But when the heat comes
    We bring the slam on.
    I’m straight outta Stockton.

  • peorgietirebiter

    No wonder George Lucas snubbed his hometown for Skywalker Ranch. Friggin’ community organizers are a pox on the republic..

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=289657]lovekills[/re]: I sent him a few boxes of tea bags. Hope he appreciates the gesture!

  • mr. wunnerful

    [re=289660]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: WIN!!!

  • mr. wunnerful

    Faux Alert!!! Sean Hanniteabag will be teabagging in Atlanta TODAY!!! Good to see him take a wide stance on taxes.

  • KittyLitter

    Carloads of stupid asshole white men in guns with cars.

    Oh well, so much for that downtown revitalization project.

    Maybe they can tool down 99 to Fresno and visit Freeperville HQ and start a gang war. If we’re lucky there will be no survivors.

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    Cropdusters of Thorazine …

  • brokengambler

    There is actually a bit of something too this. Stockton has, I believe, the highest murder rate in California, due to an abundance of Asian gangs. So my guess is that this man just recently watched Gran Torino, and started getting ideas.

    Still, I think this has the potential to turn into a “who do you trust” sort of cops vs. thugs story. With the ruthless, but secretly sentimental gang leader up against the soulless authority figures. Too bad Charleton Heston is dead.

  • mr. wunnerful

    [re=289672]brokengambler[/re]: ” Go ahead punk, make my day “

  • GaySailor

    I think maybe the militia ought to coordinate with the teabaggers! They could be a potent strike force, right? chortle.

  • GaySailor

    All this NRA militia stuff reminds me of a flea market where they made the unfortunate decision to merge with an NRA gun show! I was selling clothing samples. Someone accidently fired off a round and people scattered EVERYWHERE, with kids crying, dogs barking, smattering of screams and customers diving behind booths. Being a veteran, I reacted by diving in one of my racks. Once my lone customer crawled out from under my clothes rack, she began angrily snapping the clothes back and forth on my rack and hissed, “I’m sick to DEATH of my husband dragging me to these damned gun shows! This is the second time this has happened THIS MONTH! Last time they shot a lady in the face. Grazed her, but SHOT HER IN THE FACE!” I just gulped, grinned, nodded and made a mental note for the nearest exit just in case we were dealing with a postal militia guy! I was like, “Uh, I thought the guns were supposed to be unloaded.” She just cocked her eyebrow and kept snapping the clothes back and forth… DOH! Old right wing militia guys playing cop just shouldn’t happen. I’m with giving them tea bags to send to the mayor.

  • lulzmonger

    I wonder if some similarly-inclined trigger-happy “patriots” will be providing informal security for some of Wednesday’s Tea Party hate-ins … Darwin moves in mysterious ways.

  • mr. wunnerful

    “Coming soon….The Stockton Patriots Spring Film Festival Presents…….BIRTH OF A NATION!

  • mr. wunnerful


  • TGY

    Bo will sort it out.

  • Aurelio

    And there were militias in those days, and economic collapse to come. And yea, there arose a black Chicago politician who smote them utterly, and banished famine from the land.

  • iolanthe

    [re=289547]Cicada[/re]: It takes a Stockton Tweaker three days to rob a 7-11? Here in LA, our tweakers are much more efficient.

    As for folks surprised by the presence of folks like this in Cali: There is a dumbcon enclave in the middle of the state, where folks raise a lot of alfalfa hay, pears, and almonds. Jesus-y and gunnutty billboards grace the freeways in those parts. Stockton, Fresno, and Bakersfield are the jewels in the region’s crown.

    The almonds are good, though.

  • Scandinavian Fetus

    Why did I KNOW the militia leader would look like that?

  • EnBuenOra

    I am sorely aggrieved. My entire life’s work has been conducted with the hope of one day going to Stockton. Wait, I meant Paris. I get those two mixed up.

  • Carrie_Okie

    Oooh rifles and shotguns!
    Please, every nutfuk join this group. A good time to weed out the McVeighs, I say.
    So if Navy Seals can take out three guys bobbing in a boat, 4 douches in a car should be cake, no?

  • Servo

    [re=289692]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]:
    I’m sure they all talk like Jerry Reed too.

  • Terry


    “Soon, the NBC Peacock will be replaced by a multi-colored set of Trucknutz.”

    Comedy Central, too, evidently. The Daily Show last night showed a photo of one of the Naval vessels involved with the Maersk Alabama rescue with a massive set of Trucknutz on it. Oh Battlecruiser Nutz, I guess.

  • peorgietirebiter

    Why do I keep seeing the wife-ditching queens from the Flomax commercials?

  • Terry


    Yes, what should we do?

  • finland

    yes they’re very upset that they don’t have enough police…i bet that has nothing to do with not wantin to pay those darn tax0rz. at least this way they get to keep those preshus tax dollars AND roam around the streets with guns. fun!

    btw did anyone else have to look up where stockton was? is this a personal fail and stockton’s like some well-known place or is it ok to not know?

  • LittlePig

    I read the headline as “Stockholm” and thought, Jesus Christ on a crutch! The Swedes are goin’ gun nut?! Game over, man, game over!

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    As Magic Titty said:

    Dear God.

  • thebaker

    [re=289562]Uncle Glenny[/re]: for you, mr glenny- cum- lately:

  • thebaker


    fuck it! we’ll do it live!

  • Zadig

    [re=289672]brokengambler[/re]: Or it could be like how Gran Torino started out, with old white dudes menacing minorities.

  • proudcitizen

    Why is it most of these gun toting assholes are old FAT guys. Do they just sit around cleaning their guns and forget about keeping themselves fit? I can see if now, the first gun fight and about half will get shot because they can’t move fast enough, and the rest will have heart attacks.

  • Mustang

    I was just reading in my newspaper (that’s Wonkette for old people)that Homeland Security has issued a warning because all the wingnuts are unemployed and drunk and pissed off and they are right on the edge of whoop ass, and it’s all Obama’s fault because he’s black. So watch out America! Homeland Security says it’s finally located the terrists and they are us.

  • iolanthe

    [re=289703]finland[/re]: It’s OK not to know about Stockton, CA. It’s a mid-sized Ag and shipping town (they have a canal!) and not very famous even to life-long Californians … on a par with Lodi and Santa Paula and Modesto and Salinas and Atascadero, etc. ;-> If it weren’t for the song lyrics, “Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi again”, or “Somewhere out near Salinas, Lord, I let him slip away …”, you’d have no reason to know such places exist.

    AFAIK, nobody’s even written any methbilly songs about Stockton. It’s famous mostly for sordid little murders. It’s a place where people disappear, just down the road from the truck stop and the Bates Motel.

    That kind of town.

    I only know about it ’cause my sister was an Asst District Attorney there during the worst years of her life.

  • iolanthe

    [re=289735]Mustang[/re]: Won’t it be funny if all those creepy spying-without-a-warrant provisions of the PATRIOT Act end up being used to catch seditious ‘Winger trash … the very folks who were so in favor of shit like that, back when they thought it would only be used to round up Hippie Commies and Muslins and Brown People?

    Ah, yes. Hoist by their own petards.

  • iolanthe

    [re=289758]iolanthe[/re]: BTW, isn’t it amusing to catch the names of little Cali and Texas towns, and then reflect on all the idiots who worry about Mexicans infiltrating Cali and Texas? “Why don’t they go back where they came from?” Plenty of ’em came from right about hyar, buddy.

    One morning, in a cafe in Playa del Rey, a beachy suburb of El Ciudad de La Reina de Los Angeles del Porciuncula (LA to you), some wealthy elderly fratboy-looking douchebag was holding forth at the next table, loudly impressing his friends, telling them that the story that the Mexicans had Cali first was a *myth*. My sister – the ex-Prosecutor – stood up, walked over, and verbally ripped him several new ones.

    That gal argues in real life the way the best of us only argue on the Web. When she finished, he was ashen. Just ashen.

  • jbd

    And here I thought you were just talking about Stoughton. But then my spelling has always sucked and so I just assume others’ does as well.

  • Mustang

    Stockton has the highest foreclosure rate in the country.

  • El Pinche


  • Carrie_Okie

    You know who else is str8 outa stockton?
    So it basically been downhill since he moved away….

  • zenferret

    [re=289572]S.Luggo[/re]: McCain Palin wasn’t bad. They lost with great amusement factor.

  • El Pinche

    [re=289888]Carrie_Okie[/re]: Hahaha, who would have thunk it?

  • dzymzlzy

    I would find this hilarious if my mother didn’t still live in Stockton.

  • aflurry

    [re=289492]Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof.[/re]: I’m just waiting for the scenario where two sets of “four men in a car” lay panicked seige to one another, all the while radioing EACH OTHER for backup.

    please oh please oh please oh please, etc., forever.

  • aflurry

    [re=289773]iolanthe[/re]: This post made me think of the stupidest name ever given to a pro sports team (yes, including the Mighty Ducks, also of Anaheim… WTF?). I am referring of course to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, or “The The Angels Angels of Anaheim.”

  • Bearbloke

    [re=290191]aflurry[/re]: puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzeeeeeeee, pleeze pleeze!!!!!

  • bubba

    We ridicule what we fail to comprehend. Pretty much the motto of this page. Absolutely nothing constructive to be witnessed thus far accordingly. Consider for a moment it were a different subject. A fire department for example. Well intended citizens offer up their services to augment or offset a shortage in the local firefighting ranks. Do you likewise ridicule them? Do you cheer for the fire or worse yet, help the arsonist sprinkle the gasoline (or soy diesel)? Your lack of respect for a view other than your own is symptomatic of your lack of understanding or willingness to view an issue from a differing perspective. Sadly a very 2 dimensional view from a group who I’m certain consider themselves open minded. Understand for example that out here in the high plains we commonly carry in our car,truck or on our person firearms of one design or another. Usually for sport but they are quite adaptable to other needs as well. As such, you find little crime here. And not uncommonly, we are directly involved in the apprehension of anyone committing a crime. We don’t consider the police force as the sole provider of safety and security. We look to each other as well. We know our neighbors and their children and their pets by name. We don’t clog the courts with frivolous lawsuits against each other. If a mistake is made, we correct it and own up to it. We raise our kids as we were raised. People from the left live here as well. And I believe they are happier and safer (and know it) than those living in more liberal environs. I guess I would suggest if you don’t want the help from anyone other than the official policing agency send them away when they arrive to save you or your loved ones from whatever ill fate has befallen you. The cops will be there eventually and the bad guys probably won’t get away or kill you (more than once).

  • AgentJen

    I’ve been a resident of Stockton for more than 17 years, and I don’t like the idea any more than you folks do. But what’s all this crap about turning this into a race issue. That’s rediculous to say the least. I have never met any white biggots in this town at all. Here we have every color under the sun. Black, white, asian, spanish, middle eastern, you name it. This is not about racism what so ever. What it is about is the fact that Stockton has been the target of a lot of criminals. In fact this city often rates as the number 2 or 3 most violent and crime ridden city in the nation. Many of these men who may form a militia do not want it to happen. Most of them are also war veterans with plenty of training on how to use a weapon and how to use it properly. You have no idea how serious the problem is. They decided to do it because someone has to. If the city council continues to lay off officers as they have slowly over time, it will be open season here for criminals. Like a kid in a candy shop they’ll have free reign. No way in hell the upstanding citizens of this area are going to allow that to happen. As it is I can drive around Stockton for 2 or 3 days sometimes and never see a single marked patrol vehicle, not even a sherrif’s black and white. I think the SPD need to come to terms with reality and do something like add additional free training for these proposed militia individuals, so they can properly police the streets of Stockton. In short all these guys want to do is patrol the streets, detain anyone commiting an obvious crime, then hold them until what police officers are available to respond show up up and turn them over to them for proper arrest and booking proceedures. Even before lay-offs began this city was a pretty dangerous place ridden with crime. With too many lay-offs it would be a horrible situation indeed. The only thing that worries me is that these men will be driving vehicles that will be cearly marked so that just about any violent criminal that desires to can target them. And don’t think they wouldn’t someone not all that long ago executed two secirity officers sitting in their vehicles. one night.Something has to be done to keep law and order in this town. Even if I have to sign up and help my self. But turning this entire idea into a race issue is childish and irresponsible, and most of all misguided. Grow up.

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