Angry mob fun run.Some old white dude in Stockton is starting a militia because the police might have a few layoffs. He’s got 270 fellow gun nuts ready to, uh, hit the streets and take out the trash! Just avoid the hell out of Stockton for, let’s see, how about forever? Yes, Forever sounds good.

“They’re going to have rifles, shotguns, pistols — whatever they get their hands on,” said 66-year-old Alan Pettet. “We’re not going to go out looking for trouble, but the first person who fires on us, will get a lot of return fire going his way.”

Stop this. Send some Lipton’s to the mayor or whatever, but stop this shit.

Stockton Militia Organizer Claims Strong Support [ABC News 10]

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  1. We’re not going to go out looking for trouble, but the first person who fires on us, will get a lot of return fire going his way.

    This is going to be the genesis of some huge tragedy. I can see the headline now: “Young Boy Shot While Setting Off Firecrackers.”

  2. With all of these nutcases come out of the wood work getting their inspiration from glenn beck and hannity, something BAD is bound to happen soon.

  3. “We’ll have four men in a car, and as many cars as we can put out there”, said Pettet.

    Ohhhhh, so it’s like that. For a second, I thought it would be dangerous; now I think it will be Kenneth Anger.

  4. I used to drive a cab in Frisco back in the day (’76). Once I (against my better judgment) I picked up two yuppie assholes outside a fern bar on Union Street. They were drunk as shit–said “take us to Stockton”. It was a slow night, so I thought, “WTF?” Forty-five minutes later I pulled into the asshole’s suburban drive and he puked all over the backseat of my cab. His BF just giggled. I demanded cab-fare from the infuriated harridan wife, which she reluctantly gave up, but bitch would not help me clean up her husband’s vomit off my backseat. I had to go to a gas station to perform this duty, then spend the rest of the night finding my way back to the city. I have voted Democratic ever since, and get gay-married every chance I get.

  5. I don’t even know where Stockton is. Besides, I live in Texas. Like I’m afraid of people with guns or something, please. Even my liberal lesbian left-handed legally blind latte sipping Latina friend has two.

  6. I misread it as Stockholm. Which did not fit with my preconceptions of middle-aged Swedish men as a bunch of overeducated, tweed-jacketed, goateed, akvavit-sipping chaps at a Schoenberg concert in a birch-lined modernist concert hall.

  7. Stockton … the armpit of California. And in a state full of armpits, that says a lot. I wonder if there will be lynchings? Is this happening in Wasilla too?

  8. Will the “four men in a car” provide their own white sheets and hoods, or do they want the city to provide those too? Enquiring minds want to know!

  9. Ohhh kayyyyyyy. My small town has already had one unemployed good old boy rob a credit union with a bomb this year. The teller knew him personally, natch, and he fled up a road that basically dead ends. Not smart on many levels. The police handled it well (including my relative on the force) and no one got hurt. No imagine some gun nuts are on the case, spraying lead into random houses along the way and causing multiple accidents while they are in hot pursuit. I hope these nuts get arrested and sentenced to cellmate sodomy. Or teabagging.

  10. I am sure DHS has a website where they can turn themselves in, er, register to serve as official militias.

    UM I say we forget about Irakistan and bring the military home to start setting up these FEMA concentration camps I have been hearing so much about. Personally, I would like to volunteer for an ACORN Death Squad.

  11. Thank you for sharing this. I checked my atlas and can find no Stockton in Alabama. I am shocked that such a progressive, visionary state as California would have such maroons. Also Chuck Manson.

  12. I’m seeing a Mission Accomplished ceremony on a riding lawn mower with codpieces of Depends.

    And lots of dead dogs … in the rigor mortis of mid-lawn pooping …

    But not much else.

  13. [re=289504]grevillea[/re]: Those are the Danes, mothah. You can tell because they all do climate modelling on Linux Beowulf clusters just for a relaxing break from winning chess tournaments.

  14. [re=289476]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You’re always ahead of the rest of the class.

    [re=289485]The Unfairman[/re]: Flamethrowers are legal to buy. The same Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot always features demos of flamethrowers. WWII, Korea, and Vietnam era and they start around $500. Or used to.

  15. Personally, I would like to volunteer for an ACORN Death Squad.

    I’m with ya. Let’s shape up, fellow libtards! If only wingnuts have guns, all guns will have trucknutz. Is that Change We Can Believe In? Nope.

  16. Although Stockton has a reputation for being a tough town, I saw a bumpersticker there that read “It’s OK not to shoot up” so how bad can it be?

  17. I’m sure those members of the militia will be quite okay then with paying higher taxes to keep the cops on the beat and are huge supporters of the stimulus package as it’s supposed to give money to the state’s to help fight off just such a thing.

  18. [re=289540]Hooray For Anything[/re]: We are already paying higher state taxes for the next couple of years. Pretty much off sets the fed tax cuts for most Californians. But your right about the stim money.

  19. Yo yo yo
    Straight out of Stockton
    We da Pensioner Posse
    We old skool, We Olds rule
    Two hunnerd and seventy
    We be featured on Hannity
    We be suckin’ on da peppermintz
    While we act as police supplementz

    [re=289534]comradepaulson[/re]: Seriously? More info please.

  20. Having spent some time in Stockton, I can say with authority, that it’s a meth-ridden shit hole.

    I can’t wait to see what “fun” these gun-totin’ grampas will get into when they confront a tweeker whose been up for three days robbing a 7-11.

    Good times.

  21. [re=289546]wheelie[/re]: Right at the beginning of the show. She showed a teabag post and called us “cheerfully profane.” Not true, nobody here is fucking cheerful.

    Who here is from the Maddow show? Come on, out yourself, you silly producer or intern!

  22. [re=289550]comradepaulson[/re]: Ann Marie Cox probably made her do it… she used to be the editor here, you know— right before she SOLD OUT AND STARTED EATING BABIES.

  23. [re=289543]lovekills[/re]: Eh…good point. But while I’m okay with paying those taxes because it will help California pay for important social services like the police (or my unemployment checks), my guess is that those guys aren’t. In fact, my guess is that most of those guys are going to be doing some teabagging tomorrow.

  24. True story…friend went to the gun range yesterday for fun but was told he couldn’t because they were out of ammo. Turns out there’s an ammo shortage out there because there’s been a run on it over the past few months.

  25. [re=289552]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Ya, they were probably at some John and Ken anti-tax rally last month, crying like little girls. So the guns make them feel like men again, ahhhhh. much. better. also.

  26. I think they should call themselves the Senor Cialis Brigade and all should wear Napolean hats and crossed bandoliers. They could put bananas in their pants for the Fourth of July parade. Suggested motto: “Pacemakers on Patrol.”

  27. I get the feeling that Alan Pettet is a lonely, old crank with a head full of bad crazy. Calling up newspapers with crazy ideas, harrassing politicians, you get the picture.

  28. [re=289551]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Too true. It’s like Wonkette and all things connected Wonkette are seeping into the MSNBC family, bit by bit. Soon, the NBC Peacock will be replaced by a multi-colored set of Trucknutz.

    BTW, those of us from Michigan sneer at your little Stockton Militia. Our Militia is way scarier, wing-nuttier and they made cheesecake calenders featuring womenz with gunz. When your militia has a Miss March holding an Uzi, then I’ll be quivering in my booties.

  29. [re=289553]Hooray For Anything[/re]: From the “rightwing extremism” report listed on huffpo and referenced by Greenwald today:

    “Open source reporting of wartime ammunition shortages has likely spurred
    rightwing extremists—as well as law-abiding Americans—to make bulk purchases of
    ammunition. These shortages have increased the cost of ammunition, further
    exacerbating rightwing extremist paranoia and leading to further stockpiling activity.”

    I guess it’s kind of like why supermarkets here (Boston area) seem to have runs on toilet paper before snowstorms.

    btw, whoever said earlier today that huffpo jumped the shark should have been specific, because it’s not like the home page is static and anyone later can be sure what the f you were talking about.

  30. Humm lets see- on the low end:
    2 cases of bud heavy / Marlboro reds = $50
    1 tank of gas-$50
    Ammo / Guns- $50
    =$150 / month * 300 wackos = 45000 / month * 12 months = 540,000

    Police officer salary @45,000

    Thus for the same of less then these morons would spend driving around pistol whipping the colored folk, About 12 new cops… Or maybe a fee or ‘tax’ of $5-10 for every citizen and…. omg! no police officers!

  31. Sorry, I haven’t read all the comments, but I presume these old fart minutemen also oppose the stimulus thus resulting in the laying off of the real policemen because I’m sure the irony of that would totally escape them.

  32. “They’re going to have rifles, shotguns, pistols — whatever they get their hands on.” “We’re not going to go out looking for trouble, but the first person who fires on us, will get a lot of return fire going his way.”
    – A warning from the Somali pirates.
    History repeats itself.

    Honi soit …

  33. [re=289494]Scandalabra[/re]: That was my fav comment of the day. Though if I had lived in Frisco in the 70’s I most definately wouldn’t be alive. I barely survived Backstreets in Atlanta.

  34. SpringShield!

    [re=289584]Dr Tobias Funke[/re]: You forgot to add the cost to taxpayers of housing these douchebags in Pelican Bay for extended periods of time when they go nuts and shoot a bunch of people. Though luckily they are old and will thus die before serving out long prison terms.

  35. This will last about one four-hour shift, assuming ol’ Crusty there can get three of his VFW buddies to get in his car with him. Then they’ll figure out that driving around randomly without being able to talk to a 911 dispatcher is a REALLY bad way to find crimes in progress. If the cops don’t bust them for illegally carrying loaded guns, they’ll get bored and go home.

  36. Remember that family from X-Files who kept their mother under the floorboards so they could continually impregnate her? If you ever get lost in the Delta, just outside of Stockton, you’ll probably run into them.

  37. Ugh! These idiots were out in full force in parts of New Orleans after the hurricane in 2005. We still don’t know the death toll from their activities.

  38. [re=289615]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You missed the red meme. Nobama loves the muslins and just wants to sit down and talk about their mother issues.

  39. [re=289614]brianbull1[/re]: That had to be the most disturbing episode of any show on TV….well, not the most disturbing. Everytime i catch a glimpse that the Glenn Beck show, my eyes get ass raped.

  40. [re=289613]hockeymom[/re]: Loved that episode & the one where the pet dog (a Pomeranian) ate the dead dude’s (I think Peter Boyle of “Everybody Loves Raymond”) entrails because no one seemed to miss him. Something we should all seek to avoid.

  41. [re=289625]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Ok, I’m out. I have a pom and if the little shit ever stops eating underwear and tissue according to you people it will be my body next. Can I have some peace? I’m going to have a cup of tea, you people are sick.

  42. I’ve lost track of the conversation, but let me just say I, for one, welcome King Mob.

    Other than some small local tragedies that will not happen to anyone I know, I figure this can only accelerate what all the recent murder-suicides have begun: the universal realization that we’re all scum & robots should be driving our cars and protecting us from harming ourselves.

    As long as they’ll let me smoke hash (after they find me some hash), I’m good with that.

  43. [re=289550]comradepaulson[/re]: Huh. Stewart put a humongous pair of Freighter Nutz on that Maersk line ship tonight. So, the media takeover plan continues apace. also.

  44. Um, Stockton? You guys do realize the Attorney General of your state is Edmund Gerald “Jerry “Moonie” Brown” Brown, Jr.

    Waiting for the tards to do the Google. Yes, THAT Jerry Brown. I am almost giddy with anticipation.

  45. [re=289633]Mr Blifil[/re]: If that’s good enough for the folks in Jasper, TX, that’s good enough for the folks in Cal-i-for-nye-ay.

  46. We should be able to spot them easy enough , though , cruising in the fast lane at 27 miles per hour with their left turn signal on……

  47. [re=289639]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I hope the city of Stockton acquiesces to their every demand, except they require them to ride around individually on goofy-looking Segways instead of 4 to a car. Difficult to look badass on a Segway. They’d probably all quit within 3 days.

  48. Oh jebus. I think I’ve hit my scary-as-shit-winger quotient for the week. I’m not sure I can drag myself to the local teabagging party tomorrow, even to send in pix to Wonkette.

  49. One confused local replies to a facebook invite by posting on the Syracuse group wall:

    “Hey Meg! What fun! Donavan actually has a doctor’s appointment, so don’t think I will make it. We will have to find another time to get together though. I have been meaning to write as I still have a question for you. Will soon. Enjoy tea!”

    I prefer these friendly, dumb folk to their angrier, batshittier counterparts.

  50. Straight outta Stockton
    Got my Depends on
    Don’t know what my friends on
    They out on the lawn, bringin’ it on
    Chuggin some Mylanta
    I say, dood, wash it down with Fanta
    They say the lime
    I say the lemon
    But when the heat comes
    We bring the slam on.
    I’m straight outta Stockton.

  51. Carloads of stupid asshole white men in guns with cars.

    Oh well, so much for that downtown revitalization project.

    Maybe they can tool down 99 to Fresno and visit Freeperville HQ and start a gang war. If we’re lucky there will be no survivors.

  52. There is actually a bit of something too this. Stockton has, I believe, the highest murder rate in California, due to an abundance of Asian gangs. So my guess is that this man just recently watched Gran Torino, and started getting ideas.

    Still, I think this has the potential to turn into a “who do you trust” sort of cops vs. thugs story. With the ruthless, but secretly sentimental gang leader up against the soulless authority figures. Too bad Charleton Heston is dead.

  53. All this NRA militia stuff reminds me of a flea market where they made the unfortunate decision to merge with an NRA gun show! I was selling clothing samples. Someone accidently fired off a round and people scattered EVERYWHERE, with kids crying, dogs barking, smattering of screams and customers diving behind booths. Being a veteran, I reacted by diving in one of my racks. Once my lone customer crawled out from under my clothes rack, she began angrily snapping the clothes back and forth on my rack and hissed, “I’m sick to DEATH of my husband dragging me to these damned gun shows! This is the second time this has happened THIS MONTH! Last time they shot a lady in the face. Grazed her, but SHOT HER IN THE FACE!” I just gulped, grinned, nodded and made a mental note for the nearest exit just in case we were dealing with a postal militia guy! I was like, “Uh, I thought the guns were supposed to be unloaded.” She just cocked her eyebrow and kept snapping the clothes back and forth… DOH! Old right wing militia guys playing cop just shouldn’t happen. I’m with giving them tea bags to send to the mayor.

  54. I wonder if some similarly-inclined trigger-happy “patriots” will be providing informal security for some of Wednesday’s Tea Party hate-ins … Darwin moves in mysterious ways.

  55. And there were militias in those days, and economic collapse to come. And yea, there arose a black Chicago politician who smote them utterly, and banished famine from the land.

  56. [re=289547]Cicada[/re]: It takes a Stockton Tweaker three days to rob a 7-11? Here in LA, our tweakers are much more efficient.

    As for folks surprised by the presence of folks like this in Cali: There is a dumbcon enclave in the middle of the state, where folks raise a lot of alfalfa hay, pears, and almonds. Jesus-y and gunnutty billboards grace the freeways in those parts. Stockton, Fresno, and Bakersfield are the jewels in the region’s crown.

    The almonds are good, though.

  57. I am sorely aggrieved. My entire life’s work has been conducted with the hope of one day going to Stockton. Wait, I meant Paris. I get those two mixed up.

  58. [re=289559]comradepaulson[/re]:

    “Soon, the NBC Peacock will be replaced by a multi-colored set of Trucknutz.”

    Comedy Central, too, evidently. The Daily Show last night showed a photo of one of the Naval vessels involved with the Maersk Alabama rescue with a massive set of Trucknutz on it. Oh Battlecruiser Nutz, I guess.

  59. yes they’re very upset that they don’t have enough police…i bet that has nothing to do with not wantin to pay those darn tax0rz. at least this way they get to keep those preshus tax dollars AND roam around the streets with guns. fun!

    btw did anyone else have to look up where stockton was? is this a personal fail and stockton’s like some well-known place or is it ok to not know?

  60. I read the headline as “Stockholm” and thought, Jesus Christ on a crutch! The Swedes are goin’ gun nut?! Game over, man, game over!

  61. Why is it most of these gun toting assholes are old FAT guys. Do they just sit around cleaning their guns and forget about keeping themselves fit? I can see if now, the first gun fight and about half will get shot because they can’t move fast enough, and the rest will have heart attacks.

  62. I was just reading in my newspaper (that’s Wonkette for old people)that Homeland Security has issued a warning because all the wingnuts are unemployed and drunk and pissed off and they are right on the edge of whoop ass, and it’s all Obama’s fault because he’s black. So watch out America! Homeland Security says it’s finally located the terrists and they are us.

  63. [re=289703]finland[/re]: It’s OK not to know about Stockton, CA. It’s a mid-sized Ag and shipping town (they have a canal!) and not very famous even to life-long Californians … on a par with Lodi and Santa Paula and Modesto and Salinas and Atascadero, etc. ;-> If it weren’t for the song lyrics, “Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi again”, or “Somewhere out near Salinas, Lord, I let him slip away …”, you’d have no reason to know such places exist.

    AFAIK, nobody’s even written any methbilly songs about Stockton. It’s famous mostly for sordid little murders. It’s a place where people disappear, just down the road from the truck stop and the Bates Motel.

    That kind of town.

    I only know about it ’cause my sister was an Asst District Attorney there during the worst years of her life.

  64. [re=289735]Mustang[/re]: Won’t it be funny if all those creepy spying-without-a-warrant provisions of the PATRIOT Act end up being used to catch seditious ‘Winger trash … the very folks who were so in favor of shit like that, back when they thought it would only be used to round up Hippie Commies and Muslins and Brown People?

    Ah, yes. Hoist by their own petards.

  65. [re=289758]iolanthe[/re]: BTW, isn’t it amusing to catch the names of little Cali and Texas towns, and then reflect on all the idiots who worry about Mexicans infiltrating Cali and Texas? “Why don’t they go back where they came from?” Plenty of ’em came from right about hyar, buddy.

    One morning, in a cafe in Playa del Rey, a beachy suburb of El Ciudad de La Reina de Los Angeles del Porciuncula (LA to you), some wealthy elderly fratboy-looking douchebag was holding forth at the next table, loudly impressing his friends, telling them that the story that the Mexicans had Cali first was a *myth*. My sister – the ex-Prosecutor – stood up, walked over, and verbally ripped him several new ones.

    That gal argues in real life the way the best of us only argue on the Web. When she finished, he was ashen. Just ashen.

  66. [re=289492]Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof.[/re]: I’m just waiting for the scenario where two sets of “four men in a car” lay panicked seige to one another, all the while radioing EACH OTHER for backup.

    please oh please oh please oh please, etc., forever.

  67. [re=289773]iolanthe[/re]: This post made me think of the stupidest name ever given to a pro sports team (yes, including the Mighty Ducks, also of Anaheim… WTF?). I am referring of course to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, or “The The Angels Angels of Anaheim.”

  68. We ridicule what we fail to comprehend. Pretty much the motto of this page. Absolutely nothing constructive to be witnessed thus far accordingly. Consider for a moment it were a different subject. A fire department for example. Well intended citizens offer up their services to augment or offset a shortage in the local firefighting ranks. Do you likewise ridicule them? Do you cheer for the fire or worse yet, help the arsonist sprinkle the gasoline (or soy diesel)? Your lack of respect for a view other than your own is symptomatic of your lack of understanding or willingness to view an issue from a differing perspective. Sadly a very 2 dimensional view from a group who I’m certain consider themselves open minded. Understand for example that out here in the high plains we commonly carry in our car,truck or on our person firearms of one design or another. Usually for sport but they are quite adaptable to other needs as well. As such, you find little crime here. And not uncommonly, we are directly involved in the apprehension of anyone committing a crime. We don’t consider the police force as the sole provider of safety and security. We look to each other as well. We know our neighbors and their children and their pets by name. We don’t clog the courts with frivolous lawsuits against each other. If a mistake is made, we correct it and own up to it. We raise our kids as we were raised. People from the left live here as well. And I believe they are happier and safer (and know it) than those living in more liberal environs. I guess I would suggest if you don’t want the help from anyone other than the official policing agency send them away when they arrive to save you or your loved ones from whatever ill fate has befallen you. The cops will be there eventually and the bad guys probably won’t get away or kill you (more than once).

  69. I’ve been a resident of Stockton for more than 17 years, and I don’t like the idea any more than you folks do. But what’s all this crap about turning this into a race issue. That’s rediculous to say the least. I have never met any white biggots in this town at all. Here we have every color under the sun. Black, white, asian, spanish, middle eastern, you name it. This is not about racism what so ever. What it is about is the fact that Stockton has been the target of a lot of criminals. In fact this city often rates as the number 2 or 3 most violent and crime ridden city in the nation. Many of these men who may form a militia do not want it to happen. Most of them are also war veterans with plenty of training on how to use a weapon and how to use it properly. You have no idea how serious the problem is. They decided to do it because someone has to. If the city council continues to lay off officers as they have slowly over time, it will be open season here for criminals. Like a kid in a candy shop they’ll have free reign. No way in hell the upstanding citizens of this area are going to allow that to happen. As it is I can drive around Stockton for 2 or 3 days sometimes and never see a single marked patrol vehicle, not even a sherrif’s black and white. I think the SPD need to come to terms with reality and do something like add additional free training for these proposed militia individuals, so they can properly police the streets of Stockton. In short all these guys want to do is patrol the streets, detain anyone commiting an obvious crime, then hold them until what police officers are available to respond show up up and turn them over to them for proper arrest and booking proceedures. Even before lay-offs began this city was a pretty dangerous place ridden with crime. With too many lay-offs it would be a horrible situation indeed. The only thing that worries me is that these men will be driving vehicles that will be cearly marked so that just about any violent criminal that desires to can target them. And don’t think they wouldn’t someone not all that long ago executed two secirity officers sitting in their vehicles. one night.Something has to be done to keep law and order in this town. Even if I have to sign up and help my self. But turning this entire idea into a race issue is childish and irresponsible, and most of all misguided. Grow up.

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