$20 and a Wonkette Tee Shirt to whoever steals Michele Bachmann’s dog. Just like that.
UHH ... 5:38 pm April 14, 2009
Bachmann Keeps Guard Dog To Scare Socialists, Muslims Away
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 93 comments }
I am en route now, commando paint and everything.
Hellhound.
That looks like a bad photoshop drive by.
No shit there’s a dog inside. A bad, crazy dog. Bad dog!
No no no, you don’t understand. The dog IS Bachmann.
The font makes it look like “Dog Jugside.” Which makes me want to ask what “jugside” is, but I’m afraid the answer will be either too wonderful or too frightening for my brain.
Does she change the sign to “gone fishing” when she’s out meth shopping?
Maybe she’s just dyslexic.
[re=289313]Zadig[/re]: Onward Christian soldier, marching off to war…
It would be even better to teabag the dog. Remember to bring peanut butter.
“Dog Inside?”
ZING!
She spelled “Idiot” wrong.
You be da dog!
[re=289315]NoWireHangers[/re]: yup
Pig! Pig inside! How many times do I have to tell you? With lipstick.
Oh, I thought a Wonkette commenter had left the note on the door as a nasty reference to the esteemed Minnesotan Representative!
A lifetime in hell to whoever stole her virginity.
$100 and a superchunk teeshirt to anyone who gets me the sign
OH RIGHT like Wonkette has Tee Shirts. Whatever. I’ll steal the dog anyway. SEARCHING ORBITZ FOR PLANE RIDE NOW.
So, now Bachmann stole Ted Kennedy’s dog?
[re=289320]Gopherit[/re]: Good one!
so its an imaginary dog right?
And it’s a red-blooded American dog, not like that froo-froo thing with a perm at the White House.
[re=289333]shanemacgowan[/re]: That would be the dog.
And what kind of canine would she have? Something loud, scary, and constantly yapping.
Also stupid. Suggestions?
Yeah, a scotch taped sign on your nice century-old polished oak door, way to bring that nice Minnesota flava to the Senate, hey, how boutcha be a dear an’ cook up some macaroni & mayonnaise hotdish and maybe a nice Snickers salad for the next Senator booyah git-together deal
[re=289321]comradepaulson[/re]: Well, this is a WARBLOG, after all…
BARk, somebody, BARK!!
I has a sad ‘cuz i’m locked up in here and Bachmann’s one craaaaaazy ass bitch, and not in a good way.
HALP. !!!!11!!
isn’t Michelle just the gift that keeps on giving? What would we do without her insane actions on a weekly basis. Thank you Michelle!
It’s already quite obvious that she channels her inner bitch but does she really need to post notices about it as well? In stupid fonts?
[re=289315]NoWireHangers[/re]: Can you tell by the pixels and having seen quite a few ‘shops in your time?
[re=289333]shanemacgowan[/re]: Does she have kids? I might reconsider my stance on guns. hmmmmmm
If I believed you had t-shirts, I’d do it. Especially t-shirts with “Truck Nutz” written in arabic.
Bb.
ALT text: Dog is my co-pilot.
Probly feeds it Libruls n Bits.
Seems to me there are three choices for Bachmann’s dog –
1. A rabid pit bull
2. A yappy little Chihuahua
3. Benji’s ghost
Of course, she might actually have the legendary three-headed Cerberus guarding the door to her office, but that would make her … wait for it … SATAN!
Alternate ALT text: Hey, that was our line!
[re=289351]chascates[/re]: Cerberus, perhaps? He was essentially a dumb, furry jackhammer. And there is a river that flows by Minnesota.
Let’s be sensible and not go quite so easily for the easy mockery. She has to have something around to eat peanut butter off her pussy, after all.
What would be funnier is if you move the “Michele Bachmann” sign & put it on the men’s bathroom door or the broom closet. Would she ever notice the difference?
[re=289351]chascates[/re]: [re=289314]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Hoarhound!
[re=289364]illnoise[/re]: We have t-shirts. We have a fucking CRATE of classic Wonkette t-shirts, to be doled out as Special Prizes.
We’ve got “Wonkette Operative” and a couple other styles. They are fucking CLASSIC Gawker-era Wonkette fancy american-apparel shirts.
DO NOT FUCKING DOUBT.
Come one, Michelle isn’t ugly (on the outside, anyway.)
Wouldn’t it be funny if Bo knocks up the nutty lady’s dog. Would they have a socialist poppy?
[re=289378]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: BTW, Hoarhound is also a vegetable.
[re=289381]Ken Layne[/re]: I want one of those ‘Wonkette Operative’ shirts tomorrow, for Tea Party infiltration purposes.
I will not be impressed until I see a dog cam. She could put up a unicorn inside for all that sign’s worth.
[re=289320]Gopherit[/re]: FTW. You’re my new hero.
[re=289381]Ken Layne[/re]: Hey Ken, ya got something fuckin’ valuable there, fuckin’ golden, and yer not just givin’ it away. Amiright?
T-shirts? SOLD! I am in the “land of the free” 3 dayz this week. Please tell me how!!!1!!
(I can pay you with any of the following: British Tea Bags, Greek Olives, Saudi Arabian Dates, Bahraini Aluminimum, Polish Biofuel, or duty free scotch or cigarettes)
Leave the sign. Just add underneath in nice calligraphy, “Bitch out to lunch.”
Do Wonkette T-Shirts even exist?
[re=289395]Red Zeppelin[/re]:
He’s innocent I tell ya! (He’s just trying to help sick people & children)
We knew there wasn’t any ‘intel’ inside.
Oh well, one more Republican shitpile to clean up.
This took much too long, but I was compelled:
http://blingee.com/blingee/get_code/88531279?image=428224105
The reality is still funnier.
Hmmm, what is “dog” backwards – strange coincidence on Bachman’s part – I think not.
$100 and a Wonkette t-shirt to the person who writes “—gystyle!!!!!!!” in Sharpie on that sign and then takes a picture of it.
[re=289408]loquaciousmusic[/re]: for the win.
[re=289406]facehead[/re]: *golf clap*
[re=289411]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Is that like getting gonorrhea at the 18th hole?
[re=289410]facehead[/re]: Now say my name bitch.
speaking of scary, huffpo has straight up jumped the fucking shark! http://www.huffingtonpost.com
Requesting Rule 34 on Bachmann.
[re=289407]Rush[/re]:
cute lil cheeks pinch pinch
So …would you take a severed dog ear with Bachmann’s RFID chip embedded in it? Or are we talking whole, live dog here? I think I might have to end up using the $20 for a rabies shot if you want it alive.
[re=289413]facehead[/re]: HAHAHA that had to be a prepared comment. Far too witty of a pun, dammit.
“Teeth like that, bitch don’ need no dog.”
[re=289318]comradepaulson[/re]: Just think of the rural south, with a jug of ‘shine next to your rockin’ chair, a hound dog sittin’ jugside, and a 12 gauge in your right hand, stone waitin’ for any revenoooers to come and upset your lifestyle.
Of course, this is all happening in some shithole in rural MN, the dude in the rocker is thinking of ice fishing and freezing his ass off. But in the end, it’s all the same, and we’re all ‘merkins now, also.
[re=289399]CollegeStudent[/re]: I’ve got a classic “Wonkette Operative” tee from the AMC days. Best purchase I ever made.
[re=289426]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Or maybe I’m just that good, bitch!
Prepare to meet your blingee:
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/88533892-Glitter-Graphics
[re=289438]facehead[/re]: NOOOOOOO!!!!! But YESSSSSSSSS!!!!
I should make that the headline photo on ShortsandPants.
[re=289436]MattW[/re]: On a related note, Consumerist is getting a tip jar. How about some Wonkette merchandise? Or a PayPal account? Or a Nigerian bank account? I’d be willing to donate $10,000 Zimbabwean dollars.
Forget the dog .. Inappropriate Font Whore Inside
To fully grasp the scope and meaning of M. Bachmann, you have to NetFlic Todd Solandz’ “Palindromes” (note the first five letters of that title), and study the amazing character “Momma Sunshine”. You will shudder…
crist, that woman has government health insurance and can take her dog to work.
How about making some more Wonkette swag available via Cafe Press or something?
[re=289334]americanscandoanything[/re]: How bout taking my firstborn son for the superchunk teeshirt? (I don’t have the sign.)
[re=289320]Gopherit[/re]: win
[re=289333]shanemacgowan[/re]: That would be the inseminator’s second leg of a round trip.
Wow is there really a dog inside or did someone from Wonkette do a cute joke?
sumbitch inside
[re=289381]Ken Layne[/re]: Pleeze for to have neat-o texts on T-shirts!
“Wonkette: Teabagging since 1492″
“Bachmann: Turn’er Over, Drive!”
Someone alert Rick Santorum!
Isn’t “dog inside” code for , I’m blowing Boehner right now?
[re=289371]jasper-f-krone[/re]: A river runs through it.
Also.
[re=289368]CaliforniaMike[/re]:
4. K-Lo
Her sign board sure looks fancy. She must approve of spending lots of money on erroneous shit. Hope to god and God she will be unelected soon.
Just look at her name plate. How much did that cost? Look to the economy of the dog sign. I like the idea of cheap print-outs for elected officials. After all they change every once and a while to include a newly reprehensible turd.
You’ll have to pry Rex’s penis from her cold dead vagina!
Is this like a twisted version of a do not disturb sign?
GACK!
I know the Repubs like their sex all back alley, bathroom-stally and illegal.
But this has gone tooooooo far.
Star tribune now “embarrassed” by Bachmann OpEd:
http://wonkroom.thinkprogress.org/2009/04/14/bachmann-lie-embarassment/
Shouldn’t that read “Bitch inside (and out)”?
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