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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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93 comments

  1. comradepaulson

    The font makes it look like “Dog Jugside.” Which makes me want to ask what “jugside” is, but I’m afraid the answer will be either too wonderful or too frightening for my brain.

  2. iwillsavethispatient

    Oh, I thought a Wonkette commenter had left the note on the door as a nasty reference to the esteemed Minnesotan Representative!

  3. shortsshortsshorts

    OH RIGHT like Wonkette has Tee Shirts. Whatever. I’ll steal the dog anyway. SEARCHING ORBITZ FOR PLANE RIDE NOW.

  4. WeirdInWimberley

    And it’s a red-blooded American dog, not like that froo-froo thing with a perm at the White House.

  5. chascates

    And what kind of canine would she have? Something loud, scary, and constantly yapping.
    Also stupid. Suggestions?

  6. mattbolt

    Yeah, a scotch taped sign on your nice century-old polished oak door, way to bring that nice Minnesota flava to the Senate, hey, how boutcha be a dear an’ cook up some macaroni & mayonnaise hotdish and maybe a nice Snickers salad for the next Senator booyah git-together deal

  7. smartypants

    BARk, somebody, BARK!!

    I has a sad ‘cuz i’m locked up in here and Bachmann’s one craaaaaazy ass bitch, and not in a good way.

    HALP. !!!!11!!

  8. Snerdley

    isn’t Michelle just the gift that keeps on giving? What would we do without her insane actions on a weekly basis. Thank you Michelle!

  9. Fivetree

    It’s already quite obvious that she channels her inner bitch but does she really need to post notices about it as well? In stupid fonts?

  10. Noonan

    [re=289315]NoWireHangers[/re]: Can you tell by the pixels and having seen quite a few ‘shops in your time?

  11. Snerdley

    [re=289333]shanemacgowan[/re]: Does she have kids? I might reconsider my stance on guns. hmmmmmm

  12. illnoise

    If I believed you had t-shirts, I’d do it. Especially t-shirts with “Truck Nutz” written in arabic.

    Bb.

  13. CaliforniaMike

    Seems to me there are three choices for Bachmann’s dog –

    1. A rabid pit bull

    2. A yappy little Chihuahua

    3. Benji’s ghost

    Of course, she might actually have the legendary three-headed Cerberus guarding the door to her office, but that would make her … wait for it … SATAN!

  14. jasper-f-krone

    [re=289351]chascates[/re]: Cerberus, perhaps? He was essentially a dumb, furry jackhammer. And there is a river that flows by Minnesota.

  15. Mr Blifil

    Let’s be sensible and not go quite so easily for the easy mockery. She has to have something around to eat peanut butter off her pussy, after all.

  16. Texan Bulldoggette

    What would be funnier is if you move the “Michele Bachmann” sign & put it on the men’s bathroom door or the broom closet. Would she ever notice the difference?

  17. Ken Layne

    [re=289364]illnoise[/re]: We have t-shirts. We have a fucking CRATE of classic Wonkette t-shirts, to be doled out as Special Prizes.

    We’ve got “Wonkette Operative” and a couple other styles. They are fucking CLASSIC Gawker-era Wonkette fancy american-apparel shirts.

    DO NOT FUCKING DOUBT.

  18. Dreamer

    Wouldn’t it be funny if Bo knocks up the nutty lady’s dog. Would they have a socialist poppy?

  19. Zadig

    [re=289381]Ken Layne[/re]: I want one of those ‘Wonkette Operative’ shirts tomorrow, for Tea Party infiltration purposes.

  20. chascates

    I will not be impressed until I see a dog cam. She could put up a unicorn inside for all that sign’s worth.

  21. Red Zeppelin

    [re=289381]Ken Layne[/re]: Hey Ken, ya got something fuckin’ valuable there, fuckin’ golden, and yer not just givin’ it away. Amiright?

  22. Bruno

    T-shirts? SOLD! I am in the “land of the free” 3 dayz this week. Please tell me how!!!1!!

    (I can pay you with any of the following: British Tea Bags, Greek Olives, Saudi Arabian Dates, Bahraini Aluminimum, Polish Biofuel, or duty free scotch or cigarettes)

  23. Nerdalicious

    [re=289395]Red Zeppelin[/re]:
    He’s innocent I tell ya! (He’s just trying to help sick people & children)

  24. Rush

    Hmmm, what is “dog” backwards – strange coincidence on Bachman’s part – I think not.

  25. loquaciousmusic

    $100 and a Wonkette t-shirt to the person who writes “—gystyle!!!!!!!” in Sharpie on that sign and then takes a picture of it.

  26. Atheist Nun

    So …would you take a severed dog ear with Bachmann’s RFID chip embedded in it? Or are we talking whole, live dog here? I think I might have to end up using the $20 for a rabies shot if you want it alive.

  27. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=289413]facehead[/re]: HAHAHA that had to be a prepared comment. Far too witty of a pun, dammit.

  28. DangerousLiberal

    [re=289318]comradepaulson[/re]: Just think of the rural south, with a jug of ‘shine next to your rockin’ chair, a hound dog sittin’ jugside, and a 12 gauge in your right hand, stone waitin’ for any revenoooers to come and upset your lifestyle.

    Of course, this is all happening in some shithole in rural MN, the dude in the rocker is thinking of ice fishing and freezing his ass off. But in the end, it’s all the same, and we’re all ‘merkins now, also.

  29. MattW

    [re=289399]CollegeStudent[/re]: I’ve got a classic “Wonkette Operative” tee from the AMC days. Best purchase I ever made.

  30. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=289438]facehead[/re]: NOOOOOOO!!!!! But YESSSSSSSSS!!!!

    I should make that the headline photo on ShortsandPants.

  31. loquaciousmusic

    [re=289436]MattW[/re]: On a related note, Consumerist is getting a tip jar. How about some Wonkette merchandise? Or a PayPal account? Or a Nigerian bank account? I’d be willing to donate $10,000 Zimbabwean dollars.

  32. Scandalabra

    To fully grasp the scope and meaning of M. Bachmann, you have to NetFlic Todd Solandz’ “Palindromes” (note the first five letters of that title), and study the amazing character “Momma Sunshine”. You will shudder…

  33. Spiderfrommars

    [re=289334]americanscandoanything[/re]: How bout taking my firstborn son for the superchunk teeshirt? (I don’t have the sign.)

  34. S.Luggo

    [re=289333]shanemacgowan[/re]: That would be the inseminator’s second leg of a round trip.

  35. DoctorCulturae

    [re=289381]Ken Layne[/re]: Pleeze for to have neat-o texts on T-shirts!

    “Wonkette: Teabagging since 1492″

    “Bachmann: Turn’er Over, Drive!”

  36. arkitoothus

    Her sign board sure looks fancy. She must approve of spending lots of money on erroneous shit. Hope to god and God she will be unelected soon.

  37. arkitoothus

    Just look at her name plate. How much did that cost? Look to the economy of the dog sign. I like the idea of cheap print-outs for elected officials. After all they change every once and a while to include a newly reprehensible turd.

  38. SPlaTz

    Is this like a twisted version of a do not disturb sign?
    GACK!
    I know the Repubs like their sex all back alley, bathroom-stally and illegal.
    But this has gone tooooooo far.

Comments are closed.