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Focus Vulcan mind powersFormer Bush spokesmodels who do not know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was, finding work with reptilian Cheetos-addicted statisticians: it’s a Microtrend! Dana Perino recently joined this elite demographic when she was hired on at Mark Penn’s PR outfit to “communicate” things for “clients,” who include Lucifer and the reanimated corpse of Kenneth Lay. [Wall Street Journal]

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59 COMMENTS

  1. Must be an intellectual powerhouse at Penn’s shop. Probably arguing about the Cuban Missile Crisis and the rules for Democratic Caucuses.

  2. OK, now I am going to be disturbed all day by the image of Mark Penn’s mountain of flesh atop the pert Ms. Perino. Cause rilly, why else would he have given her a job?

  3. [re=288634]Lazy Media[/re]: “stupid and hawt are mutually exclusive.”

    I’m with you on this, but I’m disturbed at the very high percentage of people who don’t view it this way.

  4. The other day someone here at Wonkette asked if there was possibly a better hate-fuck in the world than Michelle Bachmann.
    Well, here she is.

  5. Let’s not have our minds in the gutters, people… she was mainly hired because she promised no objections if Mr. Penn wanted to eat her box lunch at conventions in addition to his own. DAMMIT.

  6. Karen Hughes, Dubya’s babysitter, is also working for Penn. And for some reason, Alberto Gonzales still doesn’t have a job. Why some modicum of justice exists in this world I have no idea.

  7. In a world gone mad. . .where microtrends and misinformation are obsolete. . .can the affection between two washed-up apparatchiks survive?

    BRIDE OF BOWSER

    In theaters June 12.

    “Love just got greasy.”

  8. She sold him with her “Caucuses and Primaries Are Two Different Things” power point presentation, which was enough to overcome the fact that she misspelled her own name on the application.

  9. Stupid and hawt maybe mutually exclusive but hawt is hawt.

    What?

    I would totally hit that, after a nice cuddle where we view and discuss the film 13 Days.

  10. Oh for Chrissake she’s OK-looking. Washington really is Hollywood for ugly people. Any time some politician or bureaucrat isn’t completely repulsive, people talk like they’re supermodels.

  11. [re=288659]19kevin8[/re]: If I recall correctly, Vulcan foreplay involves hand-to-hand combat with impractical-looking weaponry in front of spectators. Uh, I’ll pass on that and maybe go out with a nice Minnesotan girl, instead.

  12. You people…she’s EMINENTLY hittable, as well as Nancy Huffenpuff Pfootballer…after the crap she’s spewed to the ENTIRE world, don’t you think she’d soothe away a little scene of premature by telling you it’s all right….and you’d buy it!

    FTW!111!!!!!

  13. We at the Gigolos and Hos Political Action Committee (GHOPAC) congratulate Ms. Perino on her appointment as SpokesHo for veteran Clinton pimp, Mark Penn. We realize that at age 36, Ms. Perino needs a solid position from which to retire from the industry before her diamond rating suffers. Happy tricks, Dana!

  14. [re=288643]Gorillionaire[/re]: And to think I was going on and on yesterday about Angelina Jolie in a a pirate costume. What was I thinking?

    C’mere, you evil little rightard spokesmodel minx, you. I want you to try on this tricorn and scabbard for me…

  15. I want nude tagteam catfights, Perino Palin VS Maddow and that hot congres lady from Florida who survived cancer.

    Then, Oberman and Coulter can have a “Mines bigger than yours” contest. Or a chest hair comparison

  16. I’ve been fixated on the “Stupid v. Hawt” issue since [re=288634]Lazy Media[/re]: first raised it nearly an hour ago. Yeah, I want to hit it, but no amount of whiskey could scrub the image out of my brain. Given the alternatives, I must vote Ms. Perino “Toxic.”

  17. [re=288661]norbizness[/re]:
    she was mainly hired because she promised no objections if Mr. Penn wanted to eat her box lunch at conventions …

    Must… try… to… resist… gutter… interpretation… of… said… statement…

  18. Sheeples, she is both pretty bright and pretty good looking. She is also, however, evil. On the other hand, who hasn’t gone there once or twice?

  19. now a typical day for Penn will be rolling into work around 11:30, eating everything in the refrigerator, taking a dump that clogs up every toilet in the building, and then hoisting his blubbery ass on top of ms. perino for a 38-second hump.

    in the afternoon he will write about a new trend.

  20. Burson-Marsteller just lost a ton of credibility. What a dumb move. When are some people going to wake up and realize that we just emerged from one of the worst, most corrupt, most lyng and deceiving, most inept and most socially and progressively backwards and wayward administrations in our history? Not to mention the string of White House Press Secretaries who stood up there at that dumb podium in that dumb room and blatantly lied, covered up or stonewalled the country week after week, spewing inconsistencies, lies, untruths, lying spin and idiotic statements. That’s exactly what Scott McClellan has revealed–and what others have revealed about the lying, corrupt bush White House. So why on earth does a p.r. firm hire Dana Perino? What possible value would you gain? Name, fame? Neither are applicable. Honesty and trust? Hah! Sorry. It’s amazing that p.r. firms–who are supposedly expected to be experienced in, uh, public relations–continue to make dumb, ridiculous and strange p.r. moves. You’d think that businesses would take their p.r. business elsewhere from a company that can’t understand basic p.r. and basic government and politics. Unbelievable.

  21. [re=288735]shanemacgowan[/re]: Not even if she was wearing a skimpy pirate costume? Srsly?

    COME ON, FOCUS, PEOPLE. WE ARE GETTING OFF-SUBJECT HERE.

  22. She can bounce on me anytime, and she still has plenty of time to remake herself and become a real star. Don’t forget, Diane Sawyer was once Ron Ziegler’s assistant liar in the Tricky Years.

  23. it seems obvious to me that she (and all the other tight-assed bitches like her) have never experienced the soulful liberation of out-of-body orgasm that leaves one twitching like an epileptic on the beach and simultaneously raises and resolves all mysteries of existence. they opt for the most superficial,quick and dirty then feel shameful. when these people somehow stumble into power the rest of us suffer because of their crappy sex lives.

  24. [re=288872]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: Don’t be silly. She knows it’s the army you get for free after you buy the first one, much like the Lagniappe Army only less French.

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