Dana Perino Joins Mark Penn’s Firm

  sellouts

Focus Vulcan mind powersFormer Bush spokesmodels who do not know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was, finding work with reptilian Cheetos-addicted statisticians: it’s a Microtrend! Dana Perino recently joined this elite demographic when she was hired on at Mark Penn’s PR outfit to “communicate” things for “clients,” who include Lucifer and the reanimated corpse of Kenneth Lay. [Wall Street Journal]

Related

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

59 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    Must be an intellectual powerhouse at Penn’s shop. Probably arguing about the Cuban Missile Crisis and the rules for Democratic Caucuses.

  2. Red Zeppelin

    OK, now I am going to be disturbed all day by the image of Mark Penn’s mountain of flesh atop the pert Ms. Perino. Cause rilly, why else would he have given her a job?

  3. rev_matt_y

    [re=288634]Lazy Media[/re]: “stupid and hawt are mutually exclusive.”

    I’m with you on this, but I’m disturbed at the very high percentage of people who don’t view it this way.

  4. Gorillionaire

    The other day someone here at Wonkette asked if there was possibly a better hate-fuck in the world than Michelle Bachmann.
    Well, here she is.

  5. norbizness

    Let’s not have our minds in the gutters, people… she was mainly hired because she promised no objections if Mr. Penn wanted to eat her box lunch at conventions in addition to his own. DAMMIT.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Karen Hughes, Dubya’s babysitter, is also working for Penn. And for some reason, Alberto Gonzales still doesn’t have a job. Why some modicum of justice exists in this world I have no idea.

  7. SmutBoffin

    In a world gone mad. . .where microtrends and misinformation are obsolete. . .can the affection between two washed-up apparatchiks survive?

    BRIDE OF BOWSER

    In theaters June 12.

    “Love just got greasy.”

  8. ServiceJervixJuice

    Judging from the photo, Dana understands how to massage a perineum, no wonder she got the gig.

  9. norbizness

    She sold him with her “Caucuses and Primaries Are Two Different Things” power point presentation, which was enough to overcome the fact that she misspelled her own name on the application.

  10. hobospacejunkie

    Stupid and hawt maybe mutually exclusive but hawt is hawt.

    What?

    I would totally hit that, after a nice cuddle where we view and discuss the film 13 Days.

  11. Uncle Al

    Oh for Chrissake she’s OK-looking. Washington really is Hollywood for ugly people. Any time some politician or bureaucrat isn’t completely repulsive, people talk like they’re supermodels.

  12. SmutBoffin

    [re=288659]19kevin8[/re]: If I recall correctly, Vulcan foreplay involves hand-to-hand combat with impractical-looking weaponry in front of spectators. Uh, I’ll pass on that and maybe go out with a nice Minnesotan girl, instead.

  13. timeoutofmind

    lying like a stupid fuck is still a desirable attribute in the professional (communication) world.

  14. Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!

    You people…she’s EMINENTLY hittable, as well as Nancy Huffenpuff Pfootballer…after the crap she’s spewed to the ENTIRE world, don’t you think she’d soothe away a little scene of premature by telling you it’s all right….and you’d buy it!

    FTW!111!!!!!

  15. TGY

    We at the Gigolos and Hos Political Action Committee (GHOPAC) congratulate Ms. Perino on her appointment as SpokesHo for veteran Clinton pimp, Mark Penn. We realize that at age 36, Ms. Perino needs a solid position from which to retire from the industry before her diamond rating suffers. Happy tricks, Dana!

  16. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=288643]Gorillionaire[/re]: And to think I was going on and on yesterday about Angelina Jolie in a a pirate costume. What was I thinking?

    C’mere, you evil little rightard spokesmodel minx, you. I want you to try on this tricorn and scabbard for me…

  17. AllHat

    She looks nice, what on earth could have happened in her childhood to make her grow up to be a spokesperson for W?

  18. Scarab

    “Dana Perino joins Mark Penn’s firm …”
    His “firm” what? Hurry, finish the sentence, I’m trying to masturbate here.

  19. TaxWallStreet

    I want nude tagteam catfights, Perino Palin VS Maddow and that hot congres lady from Florida who survived cancer.

    Then, Oberman and Coulter can have a “Mines bigger than yours” contest. Or a chest hair comparison

  20. TaxWallStreet

    Also, is the headline the only time “Mark Penn” and “firm” were used in the same sentence? Also.

  21. sevenrepeat

    [re=288648]ChernobylSoup[/re]: haha!! she’s totes saying “live long and prosper” with her vulcan gang signs.

  22. shanemacgowan

    I’ve been fixated on the “Stupid v. Hawt” issue since [re=288634]Lazy Media[/re]: first raised it nearly an hour ago. Yeah, I want to hit it, but no amount of whiskey could scrub the image out of my brain. Given the alternatives, I must vote Ms. Perino “Toxic.”

  23. Anonymous Office Zombie

    [re=288661]norbizness[/re]:
    she was mainly hired because she promised no objections if Mr. Penn wanted to eat her box lunch at conventions …

    Must… try… to… resist… gutter… interpretation… of… said… statement…

  24. WadISay

    Sheeples, she is both pretty bright and pretty good looking. She is also, however, evil. On the other hand, who hasn’t gone there once or twice?

  25. Red Zeppelin

    As for the lede, the words “Mark Penn” and “firm” should never appear in the same sentence.

  26. Capitol Hillbilly

    now a typical day for Penn will be rolling into work around 11:30, eating everything in the refrigerator, taking a dump that clogs up every toilet in the building, and then hoisting his blubbery ass on top of ms. perino for a 38-second hump.

    in the afternoon he will write about a new trend.

  27. thefrontpage

    Burson-Marsteller just lost a ton of credibility. What a dumb move. When are some people going to wake up and realize that we just emerged from one of the worst, most corrupt, most lyng and deceiving, most inept and most socially and progressively backwards and wayward administrations in our history? Not to mention the string of White House Press Secretaries who stood up there at that dumb podium in that dumb room and blatantly lied, covered up or stonewalled the country week after week, spewing inconsistencies, lies, untruths, lying spin and idiotic statements. That’s exactly what Scott McClellan has revealed–and what others have revealed about the lying, corrupt bush White House. So why on earth does a p.r. firm hire Dana Perino? What possible value would you gain? Name, fame? Neither are applicable. Honesty and trust? Hah! Sorry. It’s amazing that p.r. firms–who are supposedly expected to be experienced in, uh, public relations–continue to make dumb, ridiculous and strange p.r. moves. You’d think that businesses would take their p.r. business elsewhere from a company that can’t understand basic p.r. and basic government and politics. Unbelievable.

  28. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=288735]shanemacgowan[/re]: Not even if she was wearing a skimpy pirate costume? Srsly?

    COME ON, FOCUS, PEOPLE. WE ARE GETTING OFF-SUBJECT HERE.

  29. bluevelvetelvis

    [re=288645]StephanieInCA[/re]: hahahah, oh god I wish they would have. Thats awesome & perfect. Thanks

  30. trondant

    [re=288760]WadISay[/re]: Bright? Hahahahahahahaha. Haha.

    Well-lit, perhaps. Otherwise no.

  31. torera

    That’s wonderful, I couldn’t be happier. They fully deserve each other. Expect the company to implode next week.

  32. nutcracker

    She can bounce on me anytime, and she still has plenty of time to remake herself and become a real star. Don’t forget, Diane Sawyer was once Ron Ziegler’s assistant liar in the Tricky Years.

  33. engulfedinflames

    it seems obvious to me that she (and all the other tight-assed bitches like her) have never experienced the soulful liberation of out-of-body orgasm that leaves one twitching like an epileptic on the beach and simultaneously raises and resolves all mysteries of existence. they opt for the most superficial,quick and dirty then feel shameful. when these people somehow stumble into power the rest of us suffer because of their crappy sex lives.

  34. TGY

    [re=288872]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: Don’t be silly. She knows it’s the army you get for free after you buy the first one, much like the Lagniappe Army only less French.

  35. Scandinavian Fetus

    I can’t help it. She works for the Devil and speaks for the Devil…

    but she is so damn hot!

Comments are closed.