CHILLING  9:49 am April 14, 2009

Did You Taxpayers Know That You Wrote This Teabag Letter?

by Jim Newell

‘Tis but one more moon until Tax Party Day, so Hill staffers should expect a veritable Ejaculation of insane teabagging art pamphlet mail today from their proudly Bitter constituents, who have become rather deft practitioners of the Microsoft Publisher application on their Hansen Writing Balls. Thank you to Hill operative “Bilbo” for the above letter.

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x111e7thst April 14, 2009 at 9:52 am

Teabag this

AKAM80TheWolf April 14, 2009 at 9:54 am


So it’s an accomplishment now to get teabagged?

Texan Bulldoggette April 14, 2009 at 9:54 am

This is only funny if they are sending this to Bachmann, Bunning, Cornyn, etc. Is it stoopid of me to ask where all this ire has been for the past 8 years? Or is this just a conspiracy plot hatched by the makers of tea — kind of like what Hallmark is to Valentine’s Day??

Cape Clod April 14, 2009 at 9:55 am

Rachael Maddow and Anna Marie Cox were discussing the ‘Teabagging’ movement last night like naughty schoolgirls and wondering vaguely if these cretins have ever heard of the urban dictionary.

scaredofthehoya April 14, 2009 at 9:55 am

“Congratulations, you have been teabagged”

My, my, does that remind me of my first week at my all-boys boarding school! Sigh!

Doglessliberal April 14, 2009 at 9:56 am

Someone should graph the Paultard Membership over the Teabagger Wacko Membership. I am betting a large overlap.

And does anyone take these people seriously? I imagine staffers get these letters, laugh, and throw them away, no?

Hart88 April 14, 2009 at 9:56 am

I had no idea that so many people made over $250K/yr.

BillyClubb April 14, 2009 at 9:57 am

Congratulations, you have been tea bagged!

I vaguely remember seeing this written on my bathroom mirror after a wild, drunken night.

Zipperupus April 14, 2009 at 9:57 am

It is an all natural teabagging.

Note that it is only when the gubmint tries to help the poors that they teabag. Subsidizing the aristocats is the kewls, but not one dime should help the poors. I hopr they steep in hell.

Noodle Salad April 14, 2009 at 9:59 am

Between a bum and a teabag – taint a good position.

Mild Midwesterner April 14, 2009 at 9:59 am

It caffeine free? I guess I’ll have to get that tingly feeling from something other than teabagging.

Terry April 14, 2009 at 10:00 am

This is proof that the GOP operatives KNOW their target audience is pretty much stoooopid.

bored with gravity April 14, 2009 at 10:04 am

Last night, David Shuster reported that Dick Armey is one of the bozos behind the Teabagging movement. I always suspected that it would take a dick army to lead a group of teabaggers.

El Pinche April 14, 2009 at 10:07 am

Shouldn’t these poor dumbfucks be sending teabaggies to Bush since its his tax code they’re protesting?

Vartan84 April 14, 2009 at 10:09 am

“You are now the target of a campaign to elect anyone but you in the next election!”

Now please forward this to 10 congressmen friends of your choice within 24 hours and your crush will say they love you tomorrow! If you don’t then you’ll have bad luck for 7 years. We’re not kidding, someone who thought it was a joke and didn’t forward it in 2002 thought this was a joke and was hit by a car the next day AND their crush didn’t ask them to the big dance! It’s real!

zhubajie April 14, 2009 at 10:10 am

Shouldn’t these go to Rep congresscritters?

Zhu Bajie

HipHopOpotamus April 14, 2009 at 10:12 am

I thought socialism and corruption was Boston’s favorite tea flavor? Why the unpleasant?

rmontcal April 14, 2009 at 10:12 am

“You are now the target of a campaign to elect anyone but you in the next election.”

This concept of voting against the current administration in favor of new faces and ideologies is so RADICAL!

forgracie April 14, 2009 at 10:12 am

I’m Thomas Paine and I approved this message.

TGY April 14, 2009 at 10:13 am


BEE April 14, 2009 at 10:13 am

How pissed is Boston right now? They’re known for tea parties and shitty sports teams.

AllHat April 14, 2009 at 10:15 am

Why is ‘Bums’ capitalized?

SayItWithWookies April 14, 2009 at 10:16 am

[re=288489]Doglessliberal[/re]: I imagine staffers get these letters, laugh, and throw them away, no?

Oh, they file them and then dig them up for fun on slow afternoons. Like we did at the college admissions office where I worked a while ago.

I’m sure Sean Assity is proud of this bunch — he used to interview Obama voters and when they couldn’t answer his loaded questions, propound as to how ignorant they were. These teabaggers have the ignorance thing down pat.

smartypants April 14, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=288517]AllHat[/re]: Bums….third political party?

Lazy Media April 14, 2009 at 10:21 am

[re=288489]Doglessliberal[/re]: According to the Paultards, the teabag idea was taken over by movement conservatives in the RNC awhile back, which accounts for the big PR effort and “grassroots” mail campaign. If the Paultards were running it, you wouldn’t hear much about it except on the WoW Trade channel.

ManchuCandidate April 14, 2009 at 10:22 am

The only ones getting truly teabagged are the uninformed idiot “regular” people who are just meat puppets for the eelights. It must be really sad to be stupid and unaware.

Min April 14, 2009 at 10:24 am

You are now the target of a campaign to elect anyone but you in the next election!

Well, now. If their standards are that low, I may just have to throw my hat into the ring.

gjdodger April 14, 2009 at 10:24 am

[re=288517]AllHat[/re]: Irate Brooklyn Dodgers fans. They’re still mad at O’Malley.

Hopey dont play that game April 14, 2009 at 10:33 am

I just can’t wait until Dirty Sanchez day (May 15th).

thebaker April 14, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=288504]bored with gravity[/re]: he also said to you would need a dick armey to teabag the million man march…… something that made me cold fuck up my keyboard with big mouth mickeys!!!

Mustang April 14, 2009 at 10:39 am

Yeah, but can they make Blingees?

smartypants April 14, 2009 at 10:41 am

Total tard Eric Odom on CNN talking about teh sky’s teh limit !!11!!! on numbers of teabaggers tomorrow…..could be in the (intake of breath) six figures1111!!!!

Oh NOES!!!! I don’t have peeps enough for so manies!!!1kl11!!!!

Plus, Odomtard is SSSSOOOOO excited about the Grassroots Astroturf Band. Also.

zenferret April 14, 2009 at 10:44 am

So like is only Herbert getting his ballz sucked by theze letter writers? Why does he get all the fun?

thebaker April 14, 2009 at 10:44 am

[re=288541]thebaker[/re]: first “to” what tha hell? who writes this shit!?!

freakishlystrong April 14, 2009 at 10:45 am

Fuck you, I want my socialist tea caffinated, dammit

rachelv April 14, 2009 at 10:50 am

“your self-serving interests” – does that actually mean anything??

arclight April 14, 2009 at 10:50 am

Yeah, um, I still giggle at the “teabagging” thing, but overall, it’s not very funny to me anymore. These people are HYPOCRITES. They’re the ones that voted for stupid Shrubbery who pissed away every last penny of surplus and ran up the debt to historical highs to fatten up über-elite (and über-scary) defense contractors. But instead of complaining about it, they waved their flags and called us unamerican cheese-eating surrender monkeys who didn’t “support our troops” because we saw through the bullshit. GO DIRECTLY TO HELL AND DO NOT PASS GO, TEABAGGERS.

hobospacejunkie April 14, 2009 at 10:52 am

Hmm…the Hansen Writing Ball. So my family name is known for more than just leprosy. That’s good to know.

[re=288490]Hart88[/re]: I had no idea that so many people made over $250K/yr.

4 out of 5 studies show Teh Bitterz self-report as middle class or above because they’re stoopid or in denial about the fact that they are bottom of the rung. Or even better, stoopidly believe they will shortly make one million dollars, e.g. “Hey Cletus, I put all my munnies in colloidal silver! I’s gonna be rich when the market does esplode!”

mrpuma2u April 14, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=288497]Noodle Salad[/re]: Very nice. You’ve done good work here.

arclight April 14, 2009 at 10:56 am

[re=288525]Lazy Media[/re]: WTB [Hogger's Teabag Of Shame] PST ME!!!!!

hobospacejunkie April 14, 2009 at 10:59 am

[re=288568]arclight[/re]: Are you still a hypocrite if you are too stupid to unnerstan that you are a hypocrite? The fact that these people are really ‘protesting’ the tax rates instituted by the first laughably inept Bush president is waaay too complex an idea for the wingtards to digest.

davesnothere April 14, 2009 at 11:00 am

[re=288567]rachelv[/re]: Does any of that shit mean anything? All I know is, I don’t want to be teabagged by a dick army, so I will capitulate. Please go back to spending all the public money in the US Treasury on anything besides the public, the end.

engulfedinflames April 14, 2009 at 11:01 am

being ignorant is forgivable, embracing ignorance is not only unforgivable but should be punished by a long term in a reeducation camp

Vartan84 April 14, 2009 at 11:08 am

“You are now the target of a campaign to elect anyone but you in the next election!”

Glad to hear they have a mature and well thought-out plan of action. Then again is there any surprise people who decide to protest by sending bags of powdery substances to Congress would be capable of such an intricately designed strategy to save democracy.

PerhapsSo April 14, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=288487]Cape Clod[/re]: Rachel was having way too much fun with every mention of the word teabagging. She said it as much as possible.

President Beeblebrox April 14, 2009 at 11:14 am

If the teabaggers have launched “a campaign to elect anyone but you in the next election,” does that mean they’re cool with supporting candidates from the Working Families Party, the Socialist Party, or the Libertarian Nazi Green Party?

[re=288553]smartypants[/re]: Wow, so they’re gonna pull 100,000 protestors in 10 locations? O NOES THEY SURROUND US!!!1

Zadig April 14, 2009 at 11:16 am

[re=288487]Cape Clod[/re]: David Shuster had a pretty saucy monologue as well.

This is the result, people, of the Republican party ignoring the top suggestion on rebuildtheparty.whatever, denying Trucknutz to millions of Americans, and going with the second-most-popular option, reaching out to the hobbits.

wonderboom April 14, 2009 at 11:16 am

Maddow was funny, but the Countdown piece was sooo much more blatantly ballsy. Some of that shit actually made made me stop teabagging my mail for a second in total disbelief…

AnnieGetYourFun April 14, 2009 at 11:21 am

[re=288497]Noodle Salad[/re]: Nice.

Guppy06 April 14, 2009 at 11:24 am

[re=288490]Hart88[/re]: And yet they apparently can’t afford to send real teabags any more.

Origami April 14, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=288571]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Isn’t below $250k still considered middle class?

I guess in whatever shitty exurban town these teabaggers live $40k a year is considered a healthy living for a 48-year-old and surely, SURELY he will reach above $250k a year within the next year or two working his middle management job for some small company that sells office supplies to hospitals or some shit. So naturally, they are against the tax increases because they are upwardly mobile and are totally gonna reach that $250k mark.

Meanwhile, us hippies living in cities close to our arugula farms and with insanely high taxes would consider a 2-person household income of $100k supporting a family of 4 to be just a smidgen above the poverty line.

wonderboom April 14, 2009 at 11:31 am

“You are now the target of a campaign to elect anyone but you in the next election.”
In other words: “We are going to repeat the ’08 election strategy — ANYONE but you, no matter how completely idiotic or ready to keel-over.”

Lascauxcaveman April 14, 2009 at 11:33 am

[re=288568]arclight[/re]: Now calm down there, Sparky. Everyone knows wars against brown foreigns are worth financing with insanely huge deficit spending; schools, roads and medical care, not so much.

Fox News Light April 14, 2009 at 11:49 am

Hey teabaggers, i know of a great place where you can steep your tea…

Zadig April 14, 2009 at 11:49 am

I, for one, look forward to trolling the living hell out of my local Teabagger festival tomorrow. I’m considering taking HuffPo (I know, I know) up on their request for local reporting of events, just so I can inform the hobbits that their event was, in fact, infiltrated by the liberal media.

Mostly, though, I want to head down there and tell my uncle to take me off his wingnuttery mailing list. I didn’t even care to find out about a Tea Party in Memphis until he blasted my inbox with info on it. I really don’t need updates about how Obama is pushing to move America under direct UN control, and I’d feel vaguely bad marking emails from family as spam.

Servo April 14, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Really? Judging by the November elections, the “Teabaggers” are presently, and most likely will be for the foreseeable future, the teabaggees. This campaign, like their efforts to derail the Obama, will become nothing more than a source of amusement for those that live in reality.

BigDupa April 14, 2009 at 12:13 pm

[re=288540]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: When is Hand Job Day to celebrate all the shovel ready projects?

wonderboom April 14, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Honestly, how do these people plan to pull this off? Do they even make crotchless Carhartt jumpsuits?

comradepaulson April 14, 2009 at 12:31 pm

“one of the Bums”… are they teabagging asses now? I’m sure they don’t know an open mouth from an ass hole, considering their spokespeople.

The Station Manager April 14, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Ugh. So much Papyrus. The inventor of that typeface should be held down and teabagged by every teabagger in the nation.

El Pinche April 14, 2009 at 12:33 pm

[re=288615]wonderboom[/re]: tongue lashing! Schuster wins for keeping a straight face through the whole thing.

Mustang April 14, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Wait a minute! Socialism and Corruption? What the hell does that even mean? It’s like “Gee, socialism doesn’t sound too bad. Better throw “corruption” in there too.” Good Lorud!

rambone April 14, 2009 at 1:04 pm

@ Jim Newell :

Dear Pale Face:

The time unit “moon” refers to one lunar month, not one night. Consequently, unless you’re trying to trick Wonktards into filing their taxes and attending their tea-bagging next month, you should issue a hasty correction.


Sitting with Huge Penis

engulfedinflames April 14, 2009 at 1:27 pm

“the american taxpayer”????? there’s only one? there’s yer problem right there.

sanantonerose April 14, 2009 at 1:34 pm

[re=288495]Zipperupus[/re]: Steep in hell. WIN

sanantonerose April 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=288504]bored with gravity[/re]: Dick Armey is the first Republican I ever hated.

Snowman April 14, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Though a bit pricey for countering these wank-jobs, I think delivering a nice set of Truck Nutz to each of the elected officials who takes a podium on Teabaggin’ day would be a fitting “thank you.”

I’d enjoy seeing the look on a staffer’s face in the congressman’s office (or, better yet, congresswoman Bachmann’s office) when they get handed a nice shiny pair of blue rubber balls for the congressperson’s limo. What a way to thank them for their steadfast support of asshattery.

Larry McAwful April 14, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Why is “Bums” capitalized? Is that an ethnic group? Herbs are an ethnic group, too, I guess.

I live in Boston and I rarely drink herbal tea. As opposed to the majority of Republican America, which rarely drinks tea at all, unless it’s cold, with lots of sugar in it, made from a mix.

comradepaulson April 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=288825]sanantonerose[/re]: And he’s a good one to hate, too. One of my favorites to hate, from that hallowed decade known as the 90s, where teabags went in hot water and we were just getting used to the “blow job,” thanks to the Clenis and his upright member. How far we’ve come in just ten years, from cigars to teabagging… I’m excited for what the future brings. Clearly, in 2019, the phrase “glory hole” will be used in political discourse, with straight faces and serious tones. And this, my friends, is progress.

Atheist Nun April 14, 2009 at 3:15 pm

I’d just like to comment that only a complete fucking mouthbreather would take the trouble to import the teabag image seen above into a graphics program, and then only modify half of the text… Lazy fucktards!

Mr Blifil April 14, 2009 at 5:26 pm

“You have been tea bagged!”

Somehow I’d like to think that if it were happening to me, I wouldn’t be in need of hand written confirmation…

Evan Adamson April 15, 2009 at 10:32 am

I’m sure that all sophisticated readers of this blog realize that “tea-bagging” has a very specific connotation in the porn world. Yesterday, an MSNBC broadcast on tea-bagging was hilarious … full of double-entendres: “tongue lashing” … “full throated” … “lick government spending” … “toothess” … “up close and personal taste of tea-bagging” … “million man march will need A DICK ‘Armey’”

I mean, if it was just one reference, it might be accidental. But this was a campy diss on the “tea-bagging” event with at least six porn references. Bravo, I say! What began as a dumb stunt has become a porno punfest.
Evan Adamson

wreckingball April 15, 2009 at 12:52 pm

The funniest, smartest response so far, especially to the schlock-chocked ‘Tea Party Anthem:’

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