censorship

‘Due To Security Concerns A Tea Bag Has Been Removed From This Mailing’

A Hill staffer informs us that the Congressional Mail Room Security People are starting to go Code Mango on all tea bag anthrax letters, which is a tragedy, because now staffers can’t send us comical photos of the tea bags (unless they’re faxes!) And no more free treats for these poor worker bees! There’s always Nestle chocolate milk to steal, though.

Operative Welfare Queen writes about the new lack of free handouts:

I just thought I’d let you know that the greedy House mail room is now stealing our free tea for themselves. Teabagger envelopes now arrive empty, with a sticker on the front that says: “Due to security concerns a tea bag has been removed from this mailing. It was the only item contained in the envelope. There was no correspondence in the letter.”

The free tea spree has come to an end.

But how are staffers supposed to carefully consider their constituents’ opinions from now on?

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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44 comments

  1. isadelia

    So, the government is now wasting our tax dollars printing stickers to put on envelopes?!?!?!!1!! Tea Party REVOLUTION!!1!! NO WASTEFUL STICKER DOLLARZZ!!11!!!

  2. Lascauxcaveman

    C’mon, hill staffers. I know that few of you qualify as ‘wealthy,’ but you can afford to buy you own gaddanged tea. Or steal it from motel breakfast rooms or some such. No more whining.

  3. Texan Bulldoggette

    OT but porn star Marilyn Chambers has been found dead at 56. I get the feeling, based on the pure # of Trucknutz references, that a lot of male Wonkette readers will have to have a moment of silence for this.

  4. pondscum

    [re=287885]Kim_Jong_LiL[/re]: I hear McDonald’s sweet tea is the new crack.

    This entire thing is amazing. Do these people seriously not know what teabagging means? Really?

  5. TaxWallStreet

    “Marilyn Chambers has been found dead at 56″

    So it’s official, Rush is now the most overused c#nt in the world. Also.

  6. Kim_Jong_LiL

    I just wanted to know because I had a comment for the post
    on the thing about Jim Lehrer and Christopher Hitchens
    but when I go to post it tells me to Login but I’m already
    logged in.

    Quite a dilemma.

  7. Atheist Nun

    YEAR: 2047
    LOCATION: A shallow trench in a cold, damp cave on the outskirts of Bergoo, West Virginia.
    SCENE: 2 dirty, disheveled men are shivering in the semi-darkness, surrounded by empty military surplus MRE food packets and a pile of guns:

    CLETUS PALIN: I wonder what’s going on outside? Why hasn’t Glenn Beck contacted us to let us know if it’s OK to leave our caves yet?
    TOOTHLESS McGEE: Yup.
    CLETUS PALIN: I’m cold. I can’t believe we ate all the chicken already and only have chipped beef left… that shit sucks, y’all.
    TOOTHLESS McGEE: Y’know what’s be reeeeal good right ’bout now? A nice hot cup of tea!
    CLETUS PALIN: Yup. Kinda makes me wish I had’nt’ve sent all them tea bags to Obama.
    TOOTHLESS McGEE: Fuckin’ Obama, drinking all our tea right now…
    CLETUS PALIN: Yup, ya mean if there’s anything left after that Super Mega Ultra Nuke Bomb that Glenn Beck told us was going to kill everyone. Wonder if that really happened?
    TOOTHLESS McGEE: Yup. I’ll betcha it did, too.
    CLETUS PALIN: Yup.
    TOOTHLESS McGEE: Yup.
    CLETUS PALIN: Yup.
    TOOTHLESS McGEE: Yup.
    CLETUS PALIN: Yup.

  8. psilage

    There’s gotta be a work analogous to “chickenhawk” to describe the outrage and spirit of rebellion which leads people to briefly get up off of their couch and send a tea bag (and a “letter” if you can call it that) to the king’s redcoats.

  9. StephanieInCA

    [re=287901]Come here a minute[/re]: oh christ. does this mean i have to have sex with YOU now too? too much teabagging. my jaw hurts.

  10. Jukesgrrl

    [re=287902]smartypants[/re]: Threat-level: Mango!! Sweet Jeebus and Governor Ridge, where’s my Duck Tape?!

    [re=287952]Atheist Nun[/re]: Meghan McCain’s agent is trying to reach you.

    [re=287933]Kim_Jong_LiL[/re]: That happens to me, too. Wonkabout doesn’t seem to recognize our registration. And they probably wonder why no one comments on their articles.

  11. DC Hates Me

    [re=287914]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: According to her bio, Marilyn was the 2008 VP Candidate for the Boston Tea Party, a libertarian political party.

  12. gurukalehuru

    They took the teabags out of the envelopes! Is the U.S. Post not sacred? What next? Will letters to Santa Claus actually go undelivered?

  13. qwerty42

    [re=287918]pondscum[/re]: This entire thing is amazing. Do these people seriously not know what teabagging means? Really?
    you can’t expect them to keep up with all the latest expressions of the hepcats. or traditions or whatever.

  14. Kingbee

    This is all a sham. Rednecks do not drink tea — they drink Mountain Dew. There is a mailing house somewhere that has been hired to mail out tea bags. When Congress is deluged with Mountain Dew cans, I’ll believe that this is serious.

  15. iolanthe

    [re=287914]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Also OT.

    56, my ass!

    Marilyn Chambers *used* to be older than I am, and I’m 58. Funny how that works.

    I saw “Behind the Green Door” when it first came out, in 1972, when I was just barely 21. At that time, they were saying she was 25. She’d already been the Ivory Snow “little mother”, and she sure as hell didn’t look 18 or 19 in that ad picture.

    That happened with Britt Ekland, too. When I was a 17-year-old with a crush on Peter Sellers, Britt was 26. A decade later? She was still 26. Hmmm … Wiki has Britt’s real age now.

    But Wiki has a fictitious birth year for Marilyn.

  16. Jukesgrrl

    [re=288019]Atheist Nun[/re]:
    Wow, what a link. I never saw the words, “Cleveland,” “Florida,” “schizophrenic” and “porn star” in the same paragraph before, although I can’t imagine why.

  17. smartypants

    [re=288039]iolanthe[/re]: Well, clearly these ‘people’ are aliens, aka Shamwowians.

  18. jgrn307

    1) google “teabagger”
    2) first link, urbandictionary.com
    3) vote up for this definition:
    “A conservative republican who protests against income taxes by rubbing their nutsacks in each other’s faces.”

  19. Jukesgrrl

    [re=288410]jgrn307[/re]: If you can get Dan Savage the sex columnist on this, you’ve got a winner. He’s added more than one word to the English language through the power of the vote.

  20. hobospacejunkie

    [re=288039]iolanthe[/re]: I saw “Behind the Green Door” when it first came out, in 1972, when I was just barely 21

    Where were all the women like you when I was that age? Jesus christ, I could hardly get laid before I was 20, much less meet a girl who watched porn. If I build that time machine I’ve been working on I’m looking you up when I go back to 1972.

Comments are closed.