Wonkette
Whoa hey what’s going on at the liberal New York Times? Let’s take a look at the actual news article, which maybe started that whole “Also.” business ….
COW, NEGRO, DOG, ALL DIE.; Train Hits Cow, which Knocks Over Negro, Who Falls on a Dog. [NYT]
FROM THE ARCHIVES
NYT Headlines Used To Be, Uh, Livelier
Read More:
That train’s got the high score of 3 at Dominegroes.
But the train was ok? That’s the important thing.
Well at least the human got billing over the dog. That was progressive of them.
I didn’t know the Obama’s had a cow, too!
Wouldn’t have been a human interest story back in 1910 — judging from headline and description. Must have been a space filler. When Rush, Glenn Beck, and others read this they will long for the good old days.
the aristocrats?
That wasn’t a real incident, Charlie Chaplin was filming it with his cinema machine for the nickelodeons.
nsf21stC
“Unleash your [dog]” Unless there are trains, cows and idle Negros in the vicinity.
It was Alabama, so you just know a mob lynched the Negro’s family in retaliation for him killing the dog.
Wasn’t this a Jim Carroll song?
And this on the day we learn about First Dog Bo? Perhaps a Nostradamus-ey prediction of things to come? Obviously the train is the high-speed line between Disney world and the Bunny Ranch. We all know who the negro and teh dog are. What does the cow represent? A coming bail-out of Big Livestock? The mind reels…
Ha Ha!
I don’t get it.
I’m surprised a lady didn’t faint. Also.
Most remarkable is that none of them had a name. Journalism was much simpler then.
…brings an entirely new meaning to “Lactose Intolerant”!
There was an old lady who swallowed a cow.
I don’t know how she swallowed a cow.
She swallowed the cow to catch the dog.
She swallowed the dog, to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly
I guess she’ll die.
When will congress build a fence to prevent our beautiful pure white trains from being threaten by cows or negros?
“….was knocked into a puddle of water and killed.”
Fuck the WHAT????
DC Hates Me: Au contraire! Look again…the train had a name.
…I know there is a Michael Vick joke in here somewhere!
AngryBlakGuy: Lose!
That’s what Dorothy’s line was going to be in the ‘Wizard of Oz’ but it was changed at the last minute.
That’s nothing - their previous headline was even more confusing:
“Arti chokes Three for a Dollar.”
…if I were the Somali pirates I would be very cautious, because chances are some weapons maker is designing a surface to surface COW missile!
Why does this headline make the Benny Hill theme song run through my head?
A cow, a negro, and a dog walk into a bar and meet a rabbi, an Ayatollah, and the Pope…
Custerwolf: Ah! I know that one! I know that one!!!!
NYT has a way to go to catch the New York Post. I maN was decapitated in a adults only club and the Post headline read “HEADLESS MAN FOUND IN TOPLESS BAR!”
Conductor: I have bad news.
Crowd: Booo!
Conductor: No one onboard was injured!
Crowd: Yaay!
Conductor: But I killed a cow.
Crowd: Booo!
Conductor: But the cow killed a negro.
Crowd: Yaaay!
Conductor: But the negro killed a dog.
Crowd: Booo!
mattbolt: Fucking fantastic.
…what they forgot to mention is that the aforementioned “negro” was fined for the following:
-Failing to capture a dairy cow in mid flight
-Unlawfully laying in a puddle
-Animal cruelty(for falling on the dog)
-Dying without a permit
ihasasad: Ahhh…but do you know the one about
the “duck for a buck,
a buck for a fuck,
and a fucked-up-duck for a truck”?
Prez, Navy SEALS, you be da man! ~Michelle Bachman
http://img.wonkette.com/images/thumbs/0f4a067c335a50ebeaa0f28d81e1faab.jpg
http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/evilbachmann2.jpg
TGY: …that’s not going to end well.
The moral of the story: Don’t watch trains near cows, dogs, or puddles.
In fact, if you watch trains at all, the terrorists win.
Cicada: for me, it is images of MP and The Holy Grail:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs&feature=related
Hoax to cover up the truth.
The train really hit a time-traveling Kenyan, in a delorean. Shownash ravine then became Limbaugh ravine.
Typical liberal NY Times. The Chattanooga Beacon and Tribune would have gone with “Negro held for assault on train, murder of two humans (cow and dog).”
It’s sad that the cow got top-billing, but it’s very progressive of the NY Times. It’s 100 years later and at least three or four brown people have to be killed before it makes the LA Time’s metro blog…. I mean, unless they fit the “gang-related” meme.
AngryBlakGuy: Ha ha ha.
So, I’m right in thinking the article is implying the puddle was the cause of the poor guy’s death?
http://www.whitehouse.gov/live/
Ziggy Marley is singing at the white house thing.
This will somehow be worked into the Alabama school system’s math curriculum as a story problem.
“the life of the canine was crushed out also”. My new favourite phrase, beating out “illegal in Oregon”.
Presumably this article was written just after the invention of the Thesaurus and everybody was over-using them.
I am sure that Danny Boyle wishes he had thought of it. It is no more absurd than Ewan McGregor crawling into a toilet.
that poor negro
although once i was thought a group of cows was going to kill me.
“sorry bout all the steaks,” i said to them.
Custerwolf: ha! Sadly, no. I do know the one about Fuzzy Wuzzy though.
Upon further investigation it is noted that in actuality it was the U.S. Navy Seals that took out all three at once…cow, negro, dog.
…and thus was the beginnings of the rights organization we now know as WPETA.
#1 headline of the year - 1910
And where was Miss Palsgraf through all of this?
Man, podcasts were really different in the olden days.
It’s all Bull. There’s no such place as Kirklandclate.
Ziggy isn’t playing anymore but two guys are standing around talking.
Advocatus_Diaboli: at home, recovering from her head imjury.
Was she at the Easter Egg Roll?
Custerwolf: [re=287748]It is a well known fact that black people can’t swim and will drown in even two inches of water.
AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Michael Vick is a sick fuck who should have his privates shaved, covered in gravy, and poked through a whole into a crate with a pit bull in it that hasn’t eaten in a week.
Funny enough?
I was bored shitless during my last semester of college,
and would go to the Archives in the library, and read
old bound issues of Time magazine.
The Leopold-Loeb defendants were “queers”. The ethiopians
who were invaded by Mussolini were “blackamoors” ….
Hell “negro” is downright civilized.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: I wasn’t gonna say it.
John McCain was on the train.
AngryBlakGuy: LMAO.
iwillsavethispatient:”So, I’m right in thinking the article is implying the puddle was the cause of the poor guy’s death?”
Don’t be absurd. He died from being knocked over.
COW, NEGRO, DOG, ALL DIE.; Train Hits Cow, which Knocks Over Negro, Who Falls on a Dog.
This sounds like something in ‘Engrish’ on a menu in North Korea…
Custerwolf: It would be interesting to see the legal outcome of this case. Since the cow was probably trespassing on L&N property, the cow and it’s owner would be responsible for the negro’s death, unless the negro was also trespassing on the cow owner’s property .. or was the cow’s owner, in which case, he killed himself.
NunnaTheSOBs: Apparently Loeb had teh gheh, alright. He had his life sentence end a bit prematurely when his throat was slit by an inmate who was not interested in the sexytime buttsecks Loeb had offered him. The Chicago Daily reports it this way:
“Richard Loeb, despite his erudition, today ended his sentence with a proposition.”
Now that’s some fancy reporting.
ahh, i miss how “negros” were referred to as alien creatures.
idiot bombs iraq, destroys economy, negro becomes president.
DC Hates Me: And was the dog licensed?
Atheist Nun: The Negro had just finished saying to the dog: “Wouldn’t a nice, juicy steak be great about now?”
Come here a minute: I prefer the classic Itsy-Bitsy Negro Went Up the Waterspout.
1910 - NOT a good year to ride a train.
http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=9A04E0DD1430E233A25751C0A9659C946196D6CF
Isn’t there supposed to be a chiffarobe in that story?
Advocatus_Diaboli: Thanks, fellow counselor for the flash-back to 1st year torts. My immediate thought, too, natch.
Bronkers: So correct me if I’m wrong - the plaintiff in that case (Miss Palsgraf) ultimately LOST on appeal. Please tell me she did.
Custerwolf: Lawsy, but I’m laZEE, but it’s been nearly four decades since I took that course and read that case for the first time, so, I did a GOOGLE search and am giving you the Wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palsgraf_v._Long_Island_Railroad_Co., 162 N.E. 99 (N.Y. 1928)
A divided decision with Cardozo, Chief Judge for the New York Court of Appeals, writing the majority ruling, finding that Mrs. Palsgraf’s injury was too removed from the action of the LIRR guard in manhandling a passenger carrying (non-visible) fireworks onto a train, causing passenger to drop the fireworks, which exploded, causing a scale on/by/above the platform that fell and injured Mrs. Palsgraf. A real Rube Goldbergian chain of events. Mr. Justice Cardozo wrote: The court wrote that “there was nothing in the situation to suggest to the most cautious mind that the parcel wrapped in newspaper would spread wreckage through the station. If the guard had thrown it down knowingly and willfully, he would not have threatened the plaintiff’s safety, so far as appearances could warn him.” Digested summary: the end result - concededly not willful - was not foreseeable from the extended chain of events that occurred, ergo, no liability.
Vigorous dissent (written by Judge William S. Andrews) would have held the RR liable under the theory of “proximate cause,” that each occurrence in the chain of events led to Mrs. P’s injury, and the guard’s actions in negligently pushing the passenger directly led to the harm the Plaintiff suffered.
There is a LOT of yaddahdah that has gone on for 80 years about duty of care and negligence… still is. A first year torts class full-class discussion.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane, but this has been heck on my billables for the past half hour!
arclight: He wasn’t just on the train — he was piloting it.
This article was written in the early stages of the journalist’s career. Sometime later she SAW A MEXICAN.
And now you know the rest of the story.
imissopus: bwah
In 1910, this story was so important it demanded to be telegraphed up from Alabama to NYC. In today’s dollars (but not tomorrow’s), that’s like the expense of putting a space tourist up for 15 minutes.
Custerwolf: He was knocked into a puddle and then lynched for killing the cow.
user-of-owls:
Win!
Custerwolf: Time wasn’t quite as clever, but still pretty “snarky” (forgive me) in 1936: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,755781-1,00.html
NunnaTheSOBs: From TIME : “I think I’m going to make it,” he whispered. He was wrong.
Oh come on. He was DEAD wrong. Hadn’t adjectives been invented yet??
oldguy: It seemed some details were suspiciously absent.
Well, it was news. And it was fit to print.