President Jindal will have to wait for 2016Bobby Jindal was supposed to be elected President in 2012 after America realized what a goofball Barack Obama was, spending money on volcano research and other pointless endeavors while a budget hawk like Jindal waited in the wings ready to swoop in with hot money-saving tips. But now Jindal’s, and indeed America’s, dreams may be put on hold while Jindal runs for Senate instead.

Here is the math: Jindal might not be re-elected governor of Louisiana in 2011, due to sucking, so maybe he will run against David Vitter for Senate. This will be the best Senate race in the world because it pits Diaperman against a porn star and a castration fetishist.

The incontrovertible proof of this preordained event comes in the form of unsubstantiated rumors bruited about on the well-known libtard weekend talky, “The Chris Matthews Show”:

JOHN HEILEMANN: I was down in New Orleans last week, and I heard a great rumor that Bobby Jindal, who we were just talking about as a potential presidential candidate for the Republican Party, is thinking about giving up the governorship and running for Senate.

MATTHEWS: Against Vitter.

Mr. HEILEMANN: Against Vitter, or for Vitter’s seat if Vitter doesn’t run. He’s got a terrible budget situation down there, he’s thrown himself into a Republican primary up in Baton Rouge that he’s going to apparently get creamed in. And I think what’s interesting about it is that it tells you that he’s got the message that 2012 isn’t his year.

Of course Jindal’s office very boringly responded with a predictable, “no truth to these scurrilous rumors, etc.”

So yes, Jindal for Senate in 2010, send in your donations now.

Transcript: Weekend of April 12, 2009 [The Chris Matthews Show]
Gov. Bobby Jindal not running for Sen. David Vitter’s seat, governor’s office says [Times-Picayune]

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  1. A better move for Bobbyboy is to run for Guv of a real state, like Alabama or Mississipi. Only by trading up in the world, will he ever get ahead.

  2. “scurrilous rumors” … I thought we leared earlier today we could just add the British ‘u’ to ‘rumour’ and it made any further adjectives not necessary.

  3. Sounds like someone is copying Barry.

    1. Write book–check
    2. Run for Senate–check
    3. be dark brown–check

    I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

  4. [re=287386]prototype[/re]: No shit. Our esteemed governor who warbles on about turning down the stimulus is going to be attending a teabagging with ‘fellow patriots.’

    Since TX doesn’t appear to have any Democrat politicians, we are stuck with him & Kay Bailey Hairspray for governor options this Nov.

  5. If so, can I apply for Priyush’s job as page on 30 Rock?

    ‘Coz then they’d have to give me my Green card and I could sleep on Shorts’ couch. [If he rescinds his threat/promise to kill me in my sleep. I’d prefer to be awake for that.]

  6. Je ne comprends pas you Americans. Are governors not obligated to, you know, govern? It seems like a governorship is just a way to launch a campaign. Is nobody running things at the state level? Do you have SECRET ANARCHY going on down there?

  7. I wonder why Jindal turned down the fed money but hasn’t asked teh gehz not to come to Nawlins for Mardi Gras? Does this mean sticky money is better than Hopey money?

  8. 2012 is going to be so awesome. This clears the way for a Romney/Palin throw down, which is bound to be the most hilarious clusterfuck in political history.

    The Mayan Apocalypse might be a bit of a bummer, but this should cheer us up.

  9. “I’ve reached the limit on rejecting helping federal assistance… now I’d like to be on the other end of denying that assistance. I hate you people! Jindal ’10!”

  10. [re=287408]prime ministress[/re]: All officeholders in the United States are required to spend the majority of their time campaigning. They may campaign for reelection, but it is preferable to run for higher office (which takes more time). Any leftover time may be used fulfilling the duties of office, poorly. How does it work up there?

  11. Somebody needs to start a silly rumor about Jindal and make him go away. He seemed like he’d be fun to toy with, but by the off chance he succeeds in becoming a respected symbol of the GOP and they start winning back seats? TERRIFYING.

  12. [re=287420]Cape Clod[/re]: Bummer, yes. But at least the Mayans had cute clothes, and they didn’t have to give any of them back.

    I cannot WAIT for 2012. I’m coming back in 2010 for a preview—Lego Jesus

  13. Here’s a silly rumor. I think I heard that Bobby Jindal is GAY and supports TEABAGGING. I’m sure I must have heard that somewhere’s. It can’t really be true, can it? Or can it?

  14. [re=287424]Come here a minute[/re]: the nomination process is different and faster (the occasional debacle notwithstanding), so we don’t have the extended primary phenomenon. Then actual election campaigns are limited by law to something incredibly brief (60 days or less?) to keep attention focused on governing – I think you can be penalized for overtly campaigning before the start date. And if you run for higher office while seated and lose, your constituents tend to hold it against you the next time around–a “you’ve shown us you didn’t want this job” attitude. (For God’s sake, other Canadians correct me if I’ve got details wrong. I’d hate to spawn another wave of mass immigration applications.)

  15. [re=287438]snoidoid[/re]: I’ve got another rumor to spread. Newt Gingrich served his 2nd wife divorce papers while she was recovering from cancer to marry the tart who worked at his office he’d been banging while said wife was sick with cancer. Oh wait, nevermind…

  16. [re=287441]prime ministress[/re]: Geez I got bored halfway through that and stopped reading. Our way is clearly better. USA! USA! USA! USA!

  17. [re=287386]prototype[/re]: Hell, I live in Tennessee, and we haven’t bothered getting rid of our “Democratic” gov, good ol’ Bredesen. By Democrat, I mean of course that he lives in Nashville, as opposed to Knoxville or Chattanooga. The distinction is apparent, I’m sure.

  18. [re=287386]prototype[/re]: Is your governor as bad as our Guv’ner Sonny? He of the “pray for rain”, the super-important fishing tourism program, and “frak the Voting Rights Act”? Though to be fair, he didn’t make the pointless posturing on the stimulus money that Sanford and Bobby did. Most of my objection to him is that he’s got a stupid nickname.

  19. [re=287459]Patton[/re]: Stupid name, AND he’s a pig-eyed do-nothing whose only value is getting in Glenn Richardson’s way — not because Richardson is a wingnut fanatic who would ruin the state, but merely to boost Sonny’s personal importance. Thank goodness these idiots are too egotistical to combine forces.

  20. [re=287427]El Pinche[/re]: Did you hear about the Hair Perry hanging out with Glenn Beck and the Teabaggers?

    I still find it somewhat odd, though not surprising, that these people, who polls tell us are only about 1/3rd of the adult population (Hopey-haters,) can still manage to dominate the entire media for days on end with their teabagging and hot karling. These poll numbers tell me they should be ignored, for the only power they have is to endlessly amuse us and embarrass themselves.

  21. So he’s unpopular, got nationally mocked for his post-SOTU speech, is suffering under the mass of problems he created, is likely to lose a Republican primary, and his only hope is to go toe to toe with a prostitute buying diaper fetishist. I clearly see why people think Jindal is the next Reagan.

  22. [re=287454]Zadig[/re]: Oh, you’re just saying that to make me feel better. You know as well as I do that the next election is going to be a total Republican clusterfuck.

  23. [re=287440]Rumproast[/re]: I still need information if clicking on SarahPac sends free money from Palin to Wonkette. Someone please tell me it does, because that would make me happy to no end.

  24. [re=287404]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:
    If he has a foreign-made dog, like a German Shephard or another Chinese Water Dog, I’d say Billy Bob is pulling an octo-mom/angelina and trying to be like his idol Hopey.

    Buy American!

  25. [re=287465]hobospacejunkie[/re]: The republicans are just too embarrassing to watch these days. I can’t even watch a clip of a tea-party or Glenn Beck on a libtard site. It hurts too much.

  26. If Piyush is elected to teh Senate, will he be required to take a wide stance on issues involving buttseks? Dammit all, somebody has to walk the walk now that Larry Craig is appearing nightly in the Castro District.

  27. [re=287465]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I had to look up ‘Hot Karl’, and now I kinda wish I hadn’t. It seems oddly appropriate for the teabagging crowd, though.

  28. In THIS corner, the man who faces down UNMONITORED volcanos, the swarthy exorcist of sexual demons, Piyush “Bobby Brady” Jindal!!!!!
    And in THIS corner, we have Diaper Man!! (crowd boos)

  29. [re=287511]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Probably, but there’s always the insignificant chance that the Republicans will do something extremely fucking embarrassing, enough that some “sane” Republicans, like my dad, stay home in disgust. And by “insignificant”, I mean that it’s very likely. I mean, just look at what the state legislature has gotten up to since November. It’s going to fucking happen, they’ll run Mumpower or something crazy like that.

    But yeah, there’s a very real chance that they won’t be quite stupid enough to cancel out there being a socialist COLORED in the White House. Christ, Easter dinner with my extended family yesterday was horrifying (I am the ONLY liberal, Jeebus help me if they ever found out I was agnostic).

  30. [re=287519]Bruno[/re]: Per Ken Layne from sometime last week. Yes, sarahpac pays for click throughs, so go ahead and click through. It’ll hurt her more than you, maybe

  31. [The Continuing Epic Poem . . . . ]


    Prez-A-dential dreams forsworn, Bobby might be shown the door!
    What to do?, our little Hindi sat and pondered.
    Do I make another speech, ’bout volcanos on decrease?
    Or go exorcise some demons that are flying?
    Then a thought came through the haze, to our troubled Mr. J,
    And he realized that his problems all were over.
    All he had to do, you see, was depose the King of Sleaze:
    David Vitter, the nappy-wearing whore-er.

    Jindal, Jindal, JINDAL! What the HELL ‘ya
    doing NOW?
    Is your Oval Office bid now gone a’flyin?
    Vitter’s seat may soon be free — but it’s not neat,
    as all can see:
    Wipe the poo stains from the crease or you’ll be cryin’!

  32. My liberal brain is so confused. I though governorships were all you got when you weren’t fit for national office. And since when is a job as a United States Senator a consolation prize for most sucktastic politician?

    Times like this I wish the Republicans had a nice flowchart to explain their party politics….

  33. [re=287386]prototype[/re]: They don’t suck until our preacher says that Jesus says they suck. Most voters in the Dust Bowl have a very simple approach to electoral politics.

  34. [re=287454]Zadig[/re]: OK’s Democratic governor is the only thing standing between decent people and the Mongol horde. (The Republican legislature, of course). His term is up in 2010 so, not only do I now believe in the End Times, I know the exact date they will begin.

  35. [re=287956]DustBowlBlues[/re]: End times? More like the exact date to get the fuck out of Oklahoma. I went to University of Tulsa, and just recently transferred back to Memphis. That Tulsa is a bastion of civilization and progressivism in Oklahoma is sort of terrifying. Not, of course, that Tennessee is much better, if at all.

  36. Just picturing 2012 now…Mitt Romney obsessing over capital gains taxes while Jindal and Palin try to out-insane each other and eventually end up challenging each other to a duel, moderated by Zell Miller. Palin wins because Romney is too busy jerking off the sound of his own voice and Jindal can’t get his gun to load because of the demons inside it. Hopey shoots by Palin in the polls and stomps her so bad Mississippi gets called for Obama the day before the election, leading Megyn Kelley on Fox News to start crying on air and Sean Hannity to run around the studio without his pants on while he screams about how Palin spent FIVE YEARS trapped in Alaska FOR OUR FREEDOM. Meanwhile, Rush Limbaugh’s head exolodes, spraying diluted Oxycontin and gobs of bacon grease so far they land in Broward County.

    Someone light me a cigarette, because I think I just came.

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