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FRIDAY AFTERNOON VIDEO GROSS-OUT

Italian PM Fake-Humps Meter Maid, For Laughs

Here is the libidinous fartsack Silvio Berlusconi, who still lives with his mom, assaulting some poor woman who just wanted to write a goddamn parking ticket in peace. Thank you to the inimitable shortsshortsshorts who posted this years-old but still fantastically awful bit of filth on his blog. [YouTube via ShortsandPants]

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Oh well shit our own former editor Alex Pareene debunked this dumb thing three years ago. Ha ha, fact-checking! We blame Shorts.


4:10 PM on Fri April 10 2009
By Sara K. Smith
9772 Views

  1. comradepaulson says at 4:13 pm, April 10th, 2009

    And then he teabagged an elephant and lit it on fire. The end.

  2. 2druk2phluq says at 4:13 pm, April 10th, 2009

    SSS has a blog? Why do I never know these things?

  3. Monsieur Grumpe says at 4:14 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Some pig.

  4. InsidiousTuna says at 4:17 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Sweet Jesus. Wonkette’s sourcing from ShortsAndPants now. This is some sort of masturbatory blogging death.

  5. iwillsavethispatient says at 4:19 pm, April 10th, 2009

    comradepaulson: It’s illegal in Oregon?

  6. greywindz says at 4:20 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Mafias…period…

  7. Scandinavian Fetus says at 4:20 pm, April 10th, 2009

    She reacted the same way that Angela Merkel did when Shrub, unannounced, massaged her shoulders.

    Bush/Berlusconi, two peas in a retarded pod.

  8. SmutBoffin says at 4:21 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Didn’t Pareene post this same clip back before Wonkette went independent? Isn’t it just a clip from a German movie or something?

  9. GleepGlop says at 4:21 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Excellently timed leak from the Obama administration to counter Barry swearing jihad to the King of the Muslims

  10. Dave J. says at 4:23 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Nice bodyguards, btw. Those guys look like they would straight cap a fool for even looking at Silvio weird.

  11. rambone says at 4:24 pm, April 10th, 2009

    InsidiousTuna: This is what happens when the print media dies. The internets will soon become one giant circle jerk.

  12. Monsieur Grumpe says at 4:27 pm, April 10th, 2009

    This guy should hang with Rush. Think of the laughs they would have.

  13. iwillsavethispatient says at 4:27 pm, April 10th, 2009

    InsidiousTuna: The mainstream media started it - don’t forget that CNN quoted Kev-o-tron a while back. The mainstream media still going strong, isn’t it?…. oh wait… O NOES!

    SAVE WONKETTE!

  14. JeffGoldblum says at 4:32 pm, April 10th, 2009

    SHORTSandPANTS FTW!!!!1! VIVA MEXICO!!!!

  15. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 4:32 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Great. Now whenever I hear Sylvia Poggioli say Berlusconi’s name, I will always think “that libidinous fartsack.”

  16. Keram2 says at 4:42 pm, April 10th, 2009

    I love his initial placement of his right hand. I didn’t know people actually did that.

  17. Mr Blifil says at 4:43 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Nevertheless I would totally hit that.

  18. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:44 pm, April 10th, 2009

    I had no idea the video was that old. I was really hoping it would ruin him for the THIRD TIME.

  19. Kev-O-Tron says at 4:47 pm, April 10th, 2009

    iwillsavethispatient: Keep in mind that I was misquoted and taken out of context. I have since visited the reeducation camp and I’m no longer “mad mad mad” I am now “straight straight straight.”

  20. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:48 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Oh and THANK YOU SARA K. SMITH. You have made my day, possibly my year if this recession continues.

  21. Lascauxcaveman says at 4:48 pm, April 10th, 2009

    What an ass.

    (Him, not hers.)

  22. Canuckledragger says at 4:49 pm, April 10th, 2009

    This is the SECOND bout of fame for Rita the Meter Maid.

  23. Eurotrash says at 4:51 pm, April 10th, 2009

    This clip is a fake. It was shot over three years ago by a German studio, as part of an anti-Berlusconi movie called “Bye bye Berlusconi”. The scene was later cut out but reappeared on the internet. Europe has been laughing about this for ages.

    Besides, Berlusconi’s mother died last year, so he won’t be living with her anymore.

  24. Eurotrash says at 4:54 pm, April 10th, 2009

    This video is a fake. It was shot over three years ago by a German film studio, as part of an anti-Berlusconi-movie called “Bye bye Berlusconi”. The scene was later cut out, but somehow it reappeared on the internet where many people took it for real. I’m not saying that Berlusconi wasn’t capable of doing this, but these are actors, definitely.

    Besides, Berlusconi’s mum died last year…

  25. choinski says at 4:54 pm, April 10th, 2009

    I’m glad that, finally, the goofy gropey head of state is an Italian for a change.

  26. Custerwolf says at 4:55 pm, April 10th, 2009

    If I were her I’d have turned and asked him if could please leave the pretend fucking to one of his less old, less ugly, minions.

  27. JeffGoldblum says at 4:59 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Eurotrash: Shut up, jerk.

  28. rambone says at 5:01 pm, April 10th, 2009

    JeffGoldblum: Yeah!

  29. hobospacejunkie says at 5:10 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Don’t matter if it’s fake. Sometimes fiction tells truths truer than real life. This man is an ass, proved as recently as the G20 summit. He’s an embarrassemnt to all of Italy. Hell, if there were an American Berlusconi it would be like if one guy owned ABC, CBC & NBC while being president. His corruption knows no bounds. No wonder Italians are so cynical about their country’s future.

  30. Hebrewzzi says at 5:14 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Oh man…this is priceless…love it

  31. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 5:22 pm, April 10th, 2009

    I used to think this was funny…., then I realized he was just demonstrating how Rove communicated with Bush.

  32. Lascauxcaveman says at 5:28 pm, April 10th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: Oh, there you go, being reasonable and spoiling everything again.

    (Also, the CBC is owned by Canada City, I’m pretty sure.)

  33. tunamelt says at 5:28 pm, April 10th, 2009

    SHORTSSHORTSSHORTS IS A FABRICATION OF YOUR IMAGINATION.

  34. JeffGoldblum says at 5:34 pm, April 10th, 2009

    SHORTSANDPANTS ONLY POSTS THE TRUTH!!!2! THE TRUTH IS A LIE!! SHADOW GOVERNMENT!!!

  35. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:37 pm, April 10th, 2009

    InsidiousTuna: Hey now… we know where you live.

  36. tunamelt says at 5:38 pm, April 10th, 2009

    JeffGoldblum: SHEEPLE!

    This is much better.

  37. commiegirl says at 5:41 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Monsieur Grumpe: Salutations! Also: That’ll do, also.

  38. InsidiousTuna says at 5:42 pm, April 10th, 2009

    tunamelt: hyperlink fail.

  39. wheelie says at 5:42 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Nice going, Shorts - not enough to DESTROY your own blog’s reputation; you just KILLED OFF Wonkette too. It’s all ruined, everything is in tatters.

    Good bye cruel world. Also.

    *bang*

  40. tunamelt says at 5:43 pm, April 10th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: LEAVE iTuna ALONE!!!1!!

    <3 you, shorts.

  41. tunamelt says at 5:46 pm, April 10th, 2009
  42. tunamelt says at 5:47 pm, April 10th, 2009
  43. NunnaTheSOBs says at 5:56 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Oh well, at least he didn’t bow to some Arab potentate.

  44. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 5:59 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Olbermann debunked this well over a year ago, I thought everyone here knew that, and we were just humoring Shorts.

  45. Nerdalicious says at 6:14 pm, April 10th, 2009

    What is it with this guy, Berlusconi? Anyhoo, here is your Holiday weekend frightening Glenn Dick image for you to cherish forever.
    http://blingee.com/blingee/view/88192536-THE-FUTURE-S-SO-BLEAK-I-M-CRYING-BLOOD

  46. Delicious says at 6:15 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Wonkette got bamboozled twice by the same vid. haha.

    As an old editor once told me, “There are no new stories, only new reporters.”

  47. Lascauxcaveman says at 6:18 pm, April 10th, 2009

    tunamelt: Hahaha! But R U waxed? Post pix pls.

  48. This is the sad that happens when our prized newspapers die a slow and cruel death. However, just like the rest of America, I’m not bothered by ‘facts’ so Shorts, we still love you. Bless you on this holist of days.

  49. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:21 pm, April 10th, 2009

    THE MOON LANDING VIDEO WAS FAKE TOO BUT PEOPLE SEEMED TO ENJOY THAT. Also.

  50. Alabama Parrot says at 6:25 pm, April 10th, 2009

    And that video of me “fake” humping a sock with Carla Bruni’s picture on it? Never happened.

  51. Kinbote says at 6:25 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Next up, after the break: Shorts douses JeffGoldblum with kerosene and sets him on fire.

  52. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:36 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Kinbote: Just like Glenn Beck!

  53. tunamelt says at 6:41 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Kinbote: PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

  54. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 6:48 pm, April 10th, 2009

    our own former editor Alex Pareene debunked this dumb thing three years ago.

    That is why we killed and ate him, then sodomized the corpse. (Don’t ask.)

  55. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 6:49 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Eurotrash: If we are to take anything remotely important away from this, I believe it should be this:
    Besides, Berlusconi’s mother died last year, so he won’t be living with her anymore.

  56. prophet1195 says at 7:06 pm, April 10th, 2009

    George Bush and Berlusconi could hang out with Rush & O’Reilly. Think of the laughs they would have lighting farts on fire at the Crawford Starbucks.

  57. ifthethunderdontgetya" says at 7:07 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Just because it’s fake doesn’t mean it’s not real, people.
    ~

  58. Monsieur Grumpe says at 7:10 pm, April 10th, 2009
  59. chitrade says at 7:13 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Seriously, haven’t the Italians suffered enough? That Berlusconi guy’s a douche.

  60. loquaciousmusic says at 7:15 pm, April 10th, 2009

    At least my tips are reliable…

  61. Brendan M. says at 7:21 pm, April 10th, 2009

    I pointed out the fakeness of the video on ShortsandPants, like, yesterday. No one cares? Well, if you paid attention, this disastrous, humiliating incident would never have happened…

  62. chascates says at 7:37 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Brendan M.: I’ll take a fake, humiliating, and disastrous incident over the truth any day.

  63. JeffGoldblum says at 7:43 pm, April 10th, 2009

    chascates: Christian Amen to that.

  64. InsidiousTuna says at 7:54 pm, April 10th, 2009

    JeffGoldblum: Also.

  65. hobospacejunkie says at 7:56 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: Yeah, I meant ABC. Damn big ass fingers.

  66. shortsshortsshorts says at 7:57 pm, April 10th, 2009

    “Reuben” posted this video. I have put two calls into “Reuben’s” voice mail. One which says “HEY DUDE YOUR POST MADE IT TO WONKETTE,” and a second stating “YOU FUCKING FUCKHEAD FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU BETTER HAVE KNOWN THAT.”

    It’s been a bi-polar day for all of us.

    In other news, the site is “open source,” so if anyone wants to post anything, you can e-mail through the site and we’ll give you an “author” thing. REUBEN HAS LOST HIS, however.

    That bastard.

  67. hobospacejunkie says at 8:05 pm, April 10th, 2009

    As I said before, this video fiction is as true as anything Berlusconi has actually done. Jesus christ, he once told a German reporter, who was asking hard questions, that he could play a very convincing concentration camp guard in a film. This man is Joe Biden with power and a huge media conglomerate. What I’m trying to say is GET THE FUCK OFF SHORTS’ BACK before he cries or something. We’ve seen him when he’s angry. We haven’t seen him cry. And I’m pretty sure we don’t want to. And this just makes Wonkette all the more lovable and human to me. Though I don’t want Wonkette to cry, either. That would just be weird.

  68. ifthethunderdontgetya" says at 8:09 pm, April 10th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: I think Wonkette has cried before. But he/she/it/blog didn’t mean it, the tears were faked.

    But possibly real, also.
    ~

  69. wheelie says at 8:34 pm, April 10th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: Mind you, Italian politics has a lot to answer for generally. 38 Prime Ministers since World II ended! The old timey quip: “Go to Paris to watch the leaves fall; go to Rome to watch the Government fall.”

    But I guess Berlusconi is in a league of his own. Such a shame they jettisoned Romano Prodi. He was good enough for Europe, but not good enough for Italy.

  70. psilage says at 8:40 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Happy Easter Everybody!
    KITH:Dr. Seuss Bible.

    Transcription.

  71. bitchincamaro says at 8:44 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Have Silvio and Joe the Biden ever been seen in the same room together? Seriously, this world- class criminal blunderer has got more lives than Felix the Teflon John Gotti. WTF!!!! Those pix of him faking the grieving at the earthquake party funeral yesterday were pitiful.

  72. bitchincamaro says at 9:03 pm, April 10th, 2009

    And fuck you very much, Shortzie. Your rickrolling days are numbered, amigo. May Mark Penn give you a swirly with his ass cheeks. Aaaaargh. And that saying, “video or GTFO”? It’s “GTFO IF video” for you and your cohorts.

    You know who loves ya’, baby.

  73. Turd Way says at 9:52 pm, April 10th, 2009

    I wondered why the Italian PM seemed to be riding around in a VW Phaeton. Silly Germans, Italian fascists don’t ride around in big German cars, only German fascists do.

  74. Buzz Feedback says at 9:58 pm, April 10th, 2009

    That’s jackable.

  75. trondant says at 10:20 pm, April 10th, 2009

    APRIL FOOLS!!

  76. shortsshortsshorts says at 11:13 pm, April 10th, 2009

    There. http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=1796 should clear things up. Fucking Reuben.

  77. Lascauxcaveman says at 11:15 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Kev-O-Tron: Kev-O, I keep forgetting to ask. Did you get that job at the 4 Seasons?

    (ding) BELLBOY! FRONT!

  78. This was a very good editing job, better than Hitler “dancing” at Versailles. Hitler humping Goering would have been better. As I understand, Goering would have enjoyed it. Fuck you, Nazi bastards! It’s Passover! Ha-ha!

  79. shortsshortsshorts says at 11:23 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: That’s just mean. Kevo is a hard working hobo. His family was abducted by ninjas. I BETCHA DIDN’T KNOW THAT, Couric.

    Ha no Kevo is a fucking hobo.

  80. Lascauxcaveman says at 11:53 pm, April 10th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: Actually, I’m curious, as I was a bellhop myself in my college days. And by quirk of fate, after holding many interesting and rewarding jobs, I now run a tiny little tourist hotel in a little tourist town, which means I mostly clean vomit off of toilet seats and recycle beer bottles. And comment on Wonkette, late Friday nights.

    The tips were better when I was a bellhop.

  81. S.Luggo says at 12:10 am, April 11th, 2009

    Barbara Bush learns to love it the Italian way.

  82. S.Luggo says at 12:19 am, April 11th, 2009

    iwillsavethispatient: In Rome this is “Global Repositioning.” And yet, we mock them.

  83. El Pinche says at 2:50 am, April 11th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts:
    “Yo Shorts, this is El Pinche. you can kiss my ass (beep)
    I ain’t interrested in you anyhow, i’m just interrested in PUMAs
    So fuck you my man..”

  84. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:20 am, April 11th, 2009

    El Pinche: Is Italics the way to go now? I’m down, but it just seems a bit emphasized.

  85. 4 Seasons? Ask about Tiberio.

  86. TJBeck says at 7:40 am, April 11th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: shortsshortsshorts is the answer to everything.

  87. JadedDIssonance says at 10:31 am, April 11th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: Snap and OhSnap also.

    It’s alright shorts, I once made a blog post about how wonderful african debt forgiveness was.

  88. V572625694 says at 10:50 am, April 11th, 2009

    InsidiousTuna: Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also.

    Tired of it yet?

  89. El Pinche says at 11:00 am, April 11th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: ITALICKS LEAN TO THE RIGHT, OBOTS!!!1!!

  90. El Pinche says at 11:28 am, April 11th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: the reference, the infamous phone message intro to the Beastieboys The Maestro.

    Now, i have to stimulate the economy at costco.

  91. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:52 pm, April 11th, 2009

    In further defense of ShortsandPants, as Reuben’s fail will plague me until the end of time, we present Dana: http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=1777.

  92. TheSchmid says at 1:02 pm, April 11th, 2009

    In the epic battle between Berlusconi and Putin (http://dailyputin.tumblr.com/) for Fucked-up European head of state supremacy, I’m not sure who wins. (The Final Four was SB and VP plus Sarkozy and Conanette O’Brien from Finland. The Frenchie and the Finn never stood a chance).

  93. SayItWithWookies says at 1:32 pm, April 11th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: Editors? That’s terribly unbloglike. I’d say you were trying to become a mainstream media outlet, but then I remembered that they don’t edit or fact-check their information either.

    Oh, and happy Atheist-Christian Unity Day everyone! Yes, this is the day when atheists and Christians can come together and unite on one simple doctrinal fact: Jesus is dead all day today.

  94. Custerwolf says at 1:54 pm, April 11th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Easter is so wonderful because it’s the time of year when our craving for nutritionless-dyed-sugar-lard blobs can be satisfied in fun bunny and chick shapes.

  95. Kev-O-Tron says at 1:54 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: I dunno. Those fuckers said they would call but THEY NEVER DO!!!1

    SayItWithWookies: What did Jesus get for Easter?…..Tetanus.

  96. user-of-owls says at 2:03 pm, April 11th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Oh, and happy Atheist-Christian Unity Day everyone!

    At long last we know definitively what our esteemed, hirsute and super-sized friend does for a living: Director of Guerrilla Marketing, Hallmark Inc.

  97. SayItWithWookies says at 2:06 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Then you definitely don’t want to miss out on the Monday after Easter, when Cadbury eggs are practically free.

    Kev-O-Tron: Why do blondes love Jesus? (Makes cross with arms) because they heard he was hung like this.

  98. Custerwolf says at 2:13 pm, April 11th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: What did Jesus say when he was up on the cross?

    “This is one Hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation.”

    Please remember to trip your waitress.

  99. I’m

    decorating

    my

    Ether

    eggs

  100. Custerwolf says at 2:20 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Servo: What a basket case.

  101. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:25 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Custerwolf: OH man. That’s a great one!

    If I tell that one at my (very Catholic) mom’s Easter dinner on Sunday, I AM SOOOO CRUCIFIED!

  102. SayItWithWookies says at 2:37 pm, April 11th, 2009

    user-of-owls: We may be a small demographic, but we’re enthusiastic.

  103. Kev-O-Tron says at 2:37 pm, April 11th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: “they heard he was hung like this”

    well he certainly carried big wood!

  104. Custerwolf says at 2:38 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: Oh yeah!
    My once very Catholic Mom (ex-convent) is always the one telling the crudest jokes at Easter - even at 70. God I love that woman.

  105. user-of-owls says at 2:41 pm, April 11th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Now THAT’S the kind of rapture I could get behind! Like Berlusconi, remember him?

  106. SayItWithWookies: Custerwolf:
    This was on a sign outside a local church:
    “1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given”

    Puh-fuckin’-leez! Who, besides themselves, are they kiddin’?
    I go there to donate for the Red Cross blood drives. I’m seriously considering another site, even if I must go out of my way. HARUMPH!

  107. user-of-owls says at 2:46 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Servo: Oh just take another hit of your ether and grin wildly with the recognition that despite all the joys/vices they’ve forsaken to be ’saved’…they’ll end up as worm food just like you and me.

  108. Custerwolf says at 2:59 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Okay these 2 aren’t sacrilegious because they’re actually Mexican carpenter jokes. Not.

    What’s the difference between a painting of Jesus and the real Jesus?
    You only need one nail to hold up the painting.

    Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the clerk some nails and asks, “Can you put me up for the night?”

  109. Custerwolf:
    You ever see Monty Python’s ‘Life of Brian’?

  110. Custerwolf says at 3:20 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Servo: Thanks! I’ll have to rent it again - it’s been awhile.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1loyjm4SOa0

  111. Custerwolf says at 3:25 pm, April 11th, 2009

    So now I’m thinking, I drive on WA’s state route 2 quite a bit (one of the deadliest highways in the country)and judging from the number of memorial crosses planted along the highway, I can only conclude that Christians have got be the shittiest drivers.

  112. SayItWithWookies says at 3:29 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Of course. That’s why they’re required to put those fish on their cars.

  113. user-of-owls says at 3:30 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Or maybe the woods are rife with itsy-bitsy Jesuses that have an armadillo-like penchant for getting run over.

  114. user-of-owls says at 3:33 pm, April 11th, 2009

    user-of-owls: You know, like: “Blessed are the meek for they…SPLAT”, “Those who are without sin…SQUISH”, etc.

  115. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:39 pm, April 11th, 2009

    HEATHENS. And hilarious heathens at that.

    Custerwolf: You are going to hell. Just like MEEEEEE!

  116. Custerwolf says at 3:44 pm, April 11th, 2009

    user-of-owls: You must be from Texas. For the longest time I thought our DOTs asphalt mixture naturally contained opossum entrails.

  117. Atypical says at 3:47 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Just heard “Jesus saves”. Anyone know what bank he uses?

  118. Custerwolf says at 3:47 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Servo: Servo, you must tell Joel I had the WORST crush on him back in the 90’s. I always envied your position (literally) on that show. Please tell me he isn’t gay.

  119. Custerwolf:
    …or the dumbest jaywalkers.

  120. Custerwolf says at 4:01 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Atypical: Watchovia.

  121. Atypical says at 4:07 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Thanks. I’ll be right back. They close early. I think they’re giving plastic Jesii for dashboards. That will give me, let’s see…43. Let me know if you want some for WA rt 2.

  122. Custerwolf:
    I don’t think Joel is gay. However, I have a slight suspicion of Mike Nelson’s preferences, not that it fuckin’ matters. Most people felt that the show was over after Joel’s departure. I disagree. Mike Nelson’s writing kept me tears of laughter. I think the show ended when Trace Beauleau (Dr. Forrester and voice of Crow) left.
    P.S. I miss Washington, but not the Seattle-Tacoma area.

    Atypical:
    “Jesus Saves” is reminiscent of his short career as a Detoit Red Wings goalie.

  123. Custerwolf says at 4:19 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Servo: Oh shit! I forgot about Trace. I love him even MORE. Yeah I know, I’m a fickle bitch.

  124. chascates says at 4:24 pm, April 11th, 2009
  125. Custerwolf says at 4:31 pm, April 11th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: Just so long as I get some alone time before Charlie Manson moves into the neighborhood. I really hate that fucker.

  126. Kev-O-Tron says at 4:32 pm, April 11th, 2009

    My only Easter tradition is to drink a Rusty Nail on the rocks in honor of our savior.

  127. Colander says at 4:33 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Wow. I am going to try at least one of these, but I really don’t want to get punched. We’ll see…

  128. Custerwolf says at 5:47 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Colander: Anyone touches you and I’ll kick their ass.

    Oh and I suppose this is as good a place as any to express my continual annoyance with all those dipshits (mostly in film) over the years who have yelled the rallying cry, “Send in the Calvary!!” Unless they expect Jesus and his tortured pals to come dashing acrest a hill - the one called Calvary -I believe what they are referring to is the CAVALRY, you know, where the guys in uniform are riding horses and carrying guns.

  129. InsidiousTuna says at 5:55 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Thanks for all the Jesus jokes, guys. Can’t wait to try some of these out back at my private Baptist university.

  130. wickedlittledoll says at 6:28 pm, April 11th, 2009

    This guy is all class.
    http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

  131. El Pinche says at 9:21 pm, April 11th, 2009

    My daughter (my 6 yr old, not my Vietnamese 18 yr “step daughter”) asked me what Easter really means? I told her about the resurrection and all that , and she replied , “wow, that’s creepy.”
    Haha..yes, Jesus was a zombie.

  132. Custerwolf says at 10:56 pm, April 11th, 2009

    El Pinche: Too cute. We’ll never be so wise as when we were 6.

    But now I am six,
    I’m as clever as clever.
    So I think I’ll be six
    now and forever.

    A.A. Milne

  133. Custerwolf says at 10:59 pm, April 11th, 2009

    Buzz Feedback: There are no two words more beautiful in the whole English language. I thank you.

  134. Come here a minute says at 12:05 am, April 12th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Yes, but those under-sixers can go fuck themselves.

  135. Custerwolf says at 1:00 am, April 12th, 2009
  136. DangerousLiberal says at 2:57 pm, April 12th, 2009

    Hoax? Wow, y’all got cold pwned.

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