Wonkette
We all know that an overwhelming majority of Americans now proudly call themselves socialists, so it should come as no surprise that one might find a few of these newly popular socialists in the House of Representatives. According to Representative Spencer Bachus of Alabama, 17 faithful socialists already serve in the House! He didn’t name names, but we can assume one’s rhymes with “Fancy Schmelosi.” [The Birmingham News]
I’d figured there were a whole lot more than 17 socialists, given the GOP’s wide stance on the subject. I’m guessing he can’t count past 17.
Get the dunking stool!
I read this right up to the word ‘Alabama’, then I LOL-ed.
Considering the Repugs tendency to pull numbers out their ass or from condiment bottles, I’m guessing he picked 17 because it’s the age of the twink he’s banging.
The obvious solution to this Socialist problem is requiring all Americans to take a loyalty oath and submit to to random searches. Only un-American socialists with something to conceal will be against this policy.
Well, hell, they oughta just change the name to Duma already and be done with it.
Cicada: If they sink, does that mean they are communists?
Bruno: They spotted him 1-16, and he still had trouble.
I wonder when he’s going to produce his list and reform HUAC.
“I have here in my hand a list of 14 — a list of names that were made known to the Senator from Alabama as being members of the Socialist Party and who nevertheless are still working and shaping policy in the House.”
We should make it known Representative Bachus that we’ve got a list of three Alabama Republicans in Congress who are known child molesters, and put him on the trail of rooting those perverts out. I’m not going to name names, but it’s totally true, and we sure could use an intrepid public servant like Mr. Bachus to get to work on this other goose chase/witch hunt. He’d comply, if he has any sense of decency.
Point of order! Point of order!
Mild Midwesterner: err…. 17, not 14
17, the cube of any given Republican I.Q.
Gosh, it’s like the 50’s all over again. Between this nut job and Bachman, I guess America is safe.
Pathetic…
hockeymom: The dunking stool is different than the drowning test (if they float, they’re socialists). Here’s a picture:
http://www.geocities.com/spiritcoke/ducking.jpg
Basically you keep dunking the person underwater until they have been punished for their sins.
It was the medieval version of waterboarding.
This concludes today’s episode of “Medieval Torture Techniques”.
Sounds like someone’s been masturbating to Michele Bachmann’s blog . . .
Oh FFS…so someone should have asked him to define “socialism” while he was naming names. I’m sure most post-FDR/pre-Reagan politicians of BOTH parties (except for McCarthy) would fall into that category. Shit, even Nixon was pretty much to the left of 1990s Blue-Dog Democrats on domestic issues! And why not name the openly socialist Senator (and former House member) Bernie “Damn Right, It’s Better Than Yours” Sanders?!
The fact of the matter is that while we’re probably not going down the path of “socialism”, we are definitely stepping towards a “social democracy”, just like the successful ones in Western Europe! Of course, this also has negative connotations to these far-right loons, but they don’t realize that these social democracies are essentially based on OUR system of government, sometimes forcefully (in the case of Germany), but with 150 years of improvements!
Guy is as queer as a three-barrelled shotgun.
Somebody in Alabama needs to watch the movie “Good Night and Good Luck” for a little history lesson!
Who wants to bet he mixed up socialist with black..
it is apparently a common mistake in the Old South.
There is a major street and neighborhood in Virginia Beach, VA called Witchduck that, um, celebrates this legacy.
There are 17 women serving in Congress. Co-incidence? I think not.
Spencer Bachus knows who has been drinking the chocolate milk.
does this commie bastard know that alabama receives 66% more in federal money than it pays? i want my unearned tax dollars back! i also want him to drink himself to death, alone and humiliated in his shame ala joe mccarthy.
arclight: I don’t think that I have ever heard a current Republican define, let alone, explain what they mean when they say “socialism.”
Since the 19th century, we have had a “mixed economy.” Were it not for government land grants, subsidizing agriculture, etc…..
Free market? I am more curious to hear how THAT is defined and explained. Never existed and never will.
woo-hoo, 17 is our best ever showing! pot-luck party tonight at Socialist Party HQ, I’ll bring fetus caserole.
LeastExcellent: Win!
You are posting too fast. Slow down.
Cicada: Not exactly. You dunk them until they CONFESS consorting with Satan. Then you hang or burn them. If they don’t confess, eventually they drown, and can be considered innocent.
OK, so I’ll bite. How many socialists serve in the Senate, then? And is that including Al Frankenstein?
As soon as I saw the news in Huffpo, I knew the Wonketteers would be snarking thier asses off.
Being from from such a crappy state sure is tough.
When I moved here from Louisiana, I thought the government just had to better. I was wrong.
Look, he didn’t mean for you guys to take the 17 number literally. In Alabama, saying “seventeen” is like saying “a gazillion.” Seventeen is just a number that’s beyond count and comprehension for them.
That also explains why they prefer their age of consent to be kept in the low teens and marriage consanguinity prohibitions stop at first cousins. They just want to keep the numbers down to something the average Alabaman can understand.
Mr Blifil: I have a list of 17 active queers in Congress.
Scandinavian Fetus: They fail to recognize (doubtless because they don’t know it) that “free markets” are created by governments. The original ones were collections of market stalls, built and policed by the local king, chieftain or feudal lord. People could come to town on market day, knowing they’d have a secure place to buy and sell their goods. Free markets don’t just spontaneously pop up of their own accord; they require government-created infrastructure and policing. Without that, people simply steal goods rather than buy them, and eventually order will be imposed by the toughest thief, a despot, which is a particularly crappy form of government.
ManchuCandidate: 17? I think the age of consent in Alabama is no more than 12 as long as it’s a family member.
Lazy Media: True. That was the variant used by the puritans, originally it was used just for punishment. Who says religion doesn’t lead to wonderful things?
On that note, maybe we should just bring back the rack. I’m sure Representative Bachus could get some answers pretty quick. Socialists are such pussies!
When Michele Bachmann can say something on tee vee and get people to follow up, you know the end is near.
SENATOR ISELIN: I mean, the way you keep changing the figures on me all the time, it makes look like some kind of a nut, like an idiot. The boys are even startin’ to kid me about it. Why, just yesterday in the cloak room, they said: “Hey, Johnny!”–
MRS. ISELIN: Well, you’re going to look like an even bigger idiot if you don’t get in there and do exactly what you’re told.
SENATOR ISELIN: Babe…
MRS. ISELIN: Who are they writing about all over this country and what are they saying? Are they saying: “Are there any Communists in the Defense Department?” Of course not. They’re saying: “How many Communists are there in the Defense Department?”
SENATOR ISELIN: Yeah…
MRS. ISELIN: (vicious) So just stop talking like an expert all of a sudden and get out there and say what you’re supposed to say!
SENATOR ISELIN: C’mon, babe, I….
MRS. ISELIN: (suddenly sweet as sugar) I’m sorry, hon. Would it really make it easier for you if we settled on just one number?
SENATOR ISELIN: Yeah. Just one real simple number that’d be easy for me to remember. (The senator unscrews a bottle of ketchup and starts glopping it on his steak. Mrs. Iselin looks at the bottle. It’s Heinz Tomato Ketchup –)
[CUT TO Sen. Iselin making a speech on the Senate floor]
SENATOR ISELIN: There are exactly… fifty-seven card-carrying members of the Communist party in the Department of Defense at this time!
Well it’s a start anyway.
Bachmann/Bachus 1952!
My favorite cognitive dissonance comes from soldiers who decry our “fall” to “socialism”. I have to remind them that they live, work and THRIVE in the very definition of a socialist system. Housing, Healthcare, Retirement, etc. They, of course, dismiss this. Kind of like pointing out that bowing to shake hands with a midget is a courtesy like holding hands and kissing cheeks…they don’t like that either.
I bring you the fifteen [clunk!] ten! I bring you the Ten Commandments!
AfghanVet: Exactly. If you take those people who are crying and moaning about the socialism, and then offer to take away all the socialistic parts of their lives (roads, military defense, medicare, social security, police, fire, &c), they’d… well, they’d get really angry, that’s what by golly.
Norbizness is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.
AfghanVet: Not only that, but you can retire at a fairly young age from the military (assuming you joined up at 18) and receive a nice pension while working a new job. Several of my family members have done this. One even works for a firm that does intelligence consulting for the military (still sucking the government teat). And yet, most of them hate “socialism”.
Another ‘Red’ Stater complaining about communism? What happened to Irony? Methinks thou dost protest too much, about the mote in someone else’s eye, which is in the eye of the beholder, and whatnot. Also.
Rep. Spencer Bachus? Aw, don’t pay no nevermind to that smarmy crank.
AfghanVet: It’s funny the crazies never bother showing up on posts like these and prefer to target stuff like this:
http://wonkette.com/407662/wingnuts-angry-that-obama-didnt-suck-off-saudi-prince-like-bush-always-did
I’m guessing the logic to justify the 17 number will be fabulous. Come on, there must be some lurkers out there, please name names and justify the 17 number. If you don’t want to name names, a vague description is also fine.
AfghanVet: They’ll often reply that they earned what they’re getting from the government. And that is absolutely true. But it’s also the fucking point of any form of socialism. You serve society, and in return your needs are taken care of.
The conversation goes “But soldiers earned their keep.” “Exactly.” “Huh?” If the other person isn’t a vet (one of those people who support the troop via bumper stickers) I get the added bonus of their moral indignation.
ForTheTurnstiles: About once a week, I smile and reflect on the fact that both Medicare and any supposed drift towards ’socialism’ are third rails in this country. Never mind that they’re the same fucking thing.
Cicada: Socialism: fine when it only includes me.
The Right is acting like an angry squirrel because the Left is so popular, handsome (and clean). Beware! Beware the deadly nut barrage!
Some of Spencer’s notable votes:
Voted YES on allowing school prayer during the War on Terror. (Nov 2001)
Voted YES on reporting illegal aliens who receive hospital treatment. (May 2004)
Voted YES on allowing electronic surveillance without a warrant. (Sep 2006)
Voted NO on granting Washington DC an Electoral vote & vote in Congress. (Apr 2007)
Voted YES on speeding up approval of forest thinning projects. (Nov 2003)
Voted NO on $84 million in grants for Black and Hispanic colleges. (Mar 2006) [Spencer's district is 97% white]
Spence also voted for barring gay adoption in DC.
norbizness: Ha! Great scene. I wathced that movie a couple weeks ago.
Speaking of which, where is our Korean-Kanadian Kousin this morning? You think he’d be all over this one, as it’s his natural thematic turf, so to speak.
…all this seems a little familiar like I read it somewhere?
-Tanking economy(check!)
-Massive layoffs(check!)
-Tent cities(check!)
-”McCarthyism”(check!)
I guess its true; all that is old is new again!
With such a broad definition of socialist, you think they’re would be way more than that.
The next imaginary baby I imaginarily place at the Cemetery for the Unborn is going to have the name Fancy Schmelosi engraved on it’s tombstone.
Cicada: “Get the dunking stool!”
But if you’re in Oregon - no throwing!
The word “socialism” is becoming the new “fuck.” It’s just something you say for added emphasis or to sound cool. It’s completely detached from any original, literal meaning.
Bump your head on the kitchen cabinet? “Socialism!”
Custerwolf: Wait - what kind of stool??
Oh, never mind.
AfghanVet: …don’t confuse me with facts, AZZHOLE!!!
Are they “card carrying” or just socialist in name only?
If they are card carrying, what does one do to get this card and what do they look cool?
So I looked up Spencer’s bio - he’s never held a job in the private sector in his adult life. Every cent he’s ever made has come from the taxpayers, his health care has always been paid for by the taxpayers, hell, he even went to public schools. So I’m guessing he’s one of the 17 socialists? Or does having all your worldly needs taken care of by the government for which you’ve worked all your life make you a capitalist now?
Socialist, ooooooh scary. Wake me when he starts claiming aliens, ghosts or teletubbies.
prizepig: “I am not socialisming sorry that I shot my friend in the face while hunting. Let the socialismer apologize to me.
Yes, prizepig, I like the new usage. Pretty soon, it will be standard on Twitter. Then, we will all be socialismed.
Bruno: “GOP’s wide stance” I see what you did there.
Personally I am not surprised that the guy who played Thurston Howell III would see everyone as socialists. I think he is still smarting from the time they made him share his coco(truck?) nutz with the rest of the castaways.
Reading the same newspaper for years and years will do that to you tho.
Not even three months in and we’ve hit “secret lists of socialists”, “socialist reeducation camps”, and the impending march of socialism/fascism. The Republicans are going to run out of material by year 4. Though really, from now if you’re a Republican with the “bach” prefix in your name, I’m just going to assume you’re crazy and that a stabbing is imminent.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
How many homo-sapiens are there? And thespians?
Isn’t Bauchus also the half-nekked Greek god of teh gays or something? I’m not going to name names, I’m just saying…
How is that jug of wine, Mr. Bauchus? Do you have the lower extremities of a goat, per chance?
Looks like we have our first volunteer for Obama’s Re-education Camp.
AfghanVet:
The insults to injury are those that siphon VA dollars from dismembered and traumatized war veterans for their 0.001% disabilities (minor back and carpal tunnel pains). Their logic: “I’ve earned it, unlike the lazy welfare slugs who do nothing.”
The Republicans will say anything if they think it will either arouse fear of or anger at the Democrats. They don’t necessarily believe in what they are saying or care if it is hypocritical, ignorant or ridiculous. Their goal is to control the legislative and executive branches for one purpose — for the rich to get richer. That is the whole story.
You would think something like this would have come from somebody from Wisconsin, like Joe McCarthy, or somebody from Minnesota, like Michelle Bachmann — or maybe somebody from California (insert long list here). Alabama’s no different from any other state, just kept poor by absentee landlords, like Yankee big timber companies who put all the money into the campaigns of people like Spencer Bachus.
How come is it if you’re rich, you’re a socialite, but if you’re poor, you’re a socialist. Can’t we all just be reasonable sociable?
Okay, I’m confused. Does this illustration depict the Rapture- or the second coming of socialism? And is the conflagration that is supposed to accompany Jesus’s long-anticpated encore represent GOOD or EVIL? Christian mythology is so befuddling at times. It’s just easier to hate homos, love embryos, and call it done.
Alabama Parrot: Point taken.
KAR: Or even better, read Eric Bentley’s play, “Are You Now or Have You Ever Been?” stitched together entirely from transcripts of the McCarthy hearings.
Of course, I shouldn’t assume that Rep. Bachus knows how to read.
hockeymom: No, just that they are made of wood, (Huh?)
The names of the 17, Spencer Bachus. Quickly now. Name them. Speak out at the House microphone on C-Span so the whole of America can hear you tell us exactly who in the Congress is a Socialist.
I can name one member who is an asshole racist idiot: Spencer Bachus.
So name them or apologize or change your name to Joe McCarthy.
AngryBlakGuy: VERY perceptive, sir!
DeathOfIrony:
it’s the roman god of wine, Bacchus..
though Bachus is known as the Alabaman God of Whiskey and hate crimes
Hahaha, the rightwing is flopping around and dying on the poop deck. 2010 is when we’ll put it the cooler once and for all.
I went fishing this morning as you can tell.
El Pinche: bait or plugs?
Bet you $10 Keith and Rachel’s interns at MSNBC are already searching the vaults for the film of the Joe McCarthy “I have a list” speech. Let the mocking begin!
Lazy Media: Thank you for clarifying the meaning of Free Market. I guess we DON’T want Free, then; we would prefer your Pop-Up Market. That would sound very lively on the news programs and would mean the market could move around and not be tied to that stupid Wall Street. Furthermore, the followers of Dr. Ron Paul could call themselves Pop-uptards, which would appeal to them because it has a “P” for Paul and an “op” for “Populist.”
Bruno: A vague description of the 17 socialists won’t work because a vague description would be “NOT the fat guy in the cloakroom with the teenage boy.”
OT: When do we get to insult ASU?
BigDupa: “How many homo-sapiens are there? And thespians?”
A lot. But there are even more who masticate in public. In front of children!
Does this mean the pressure is off our retarded SC governor/state, at least for now?
THIS JUST IN! As it turns out, 99% of all pols in DC now proudly support socialism, as it was revealed earlier today that they will continue to fund socialized, I mean public, education.
The remaining 1% were a few turds found in a backed up toilet.
Custerwolf: bait. Minnows and nightcrawlers. 5 1/2 lb large mouth bass, 4 lb blue cat, and 4 big crappie ….not bad for 4 hours of fishing. It’s good to get away from socialism for a bit.
Looking at the tard’s wikipedia page
does anyone notice the dissonance between this
Bachus is a staunch advocate of a federal prohibition of online poker. In 2006, he cosponsored H.R. 4411, the Goodlatte-Leach Internet Gambling Prohibition Act[3] and H.R. 4777, the Internet Gambling Prohibition Act.[4] In 2008, he opposed H.R. 5767, the Payment Systems Protection Act (a bill that sought to place a moratorium on enforcement of the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act while the U.S. Treasury Department and the Federal Reserve defined “unlawful Internet gambling”).
“There have been studies by Harvard University, University of Pennsylvania, McGill University in Canada, American Psychiatric Association — all of these say the younger someone starts gambling, the more likelihood that they become a compulsive gambler. Addicted to gambling, just like addicted to drugs. So there is a correlation between drug dealers and gambling sites.” — October 2006, CNN
and this
In 2007, Bachus made trades with a number of short term stock options, betting that stocks would rise or fall for a quick profit or loss. Bachus made up to $160,000, including a bet in March that the stock market would drop that earned him between $15,000 and $50,000.
evidently gambling is OK, as long as you’re destroying the economy at the same time!
LeastExcellent: As a classical scholar, you might appreciate this:
Spencer Bachus lives in a wealthy Birmingham ‘burb called Vestavia Hills, which is named after the after a temple in ancient Rome dedicated to the female deity Vesta.
[From Wiki:]
“Vesta was celebrated at the Vestalia …. On the first day of the festivities the penus Vestae (the curtained sanctum sanctorum of her temple) was opened, for the only time during the year, for women to offer sacrifices in. Such sacrifices included the removal of an unborn calf from a pregnant cow.”
******
The ritual has since been adopted by the PUMAs, along with broom handle rape.
El Pinche: We fish a little differently (steelhead).
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/Skykomishriver.jpg
Custerwolf: Yeah, I’ve gone steelhead fishing with my dad. It’s a blast, but all we got down here are bass, cats, carp, some trout and nasty gar. I’d like to go Pike fishing someday up in Michigan with my crazy uncles.
El Pinche: I must confess, what I REALLY love is the boat ride - the rapids are such an incredible THRILL!! I’m actually banned from going fishing with Joe now. Last winter we were out and I had a fish on when suddenly it jumped clear out of the water and I saw it. I immediately started crying and told Joe I wanted to let it go. He got pissed, of course, (he eats lots of fish) but before either of us had a chance to throw the other overboard - the fish spit out the hook and was gone.
Custerwolf: Haha…is that you in the pic? Looks like fun.
Some big yellow catfish are hard to keep. When you pull them in, they make grunting noises and look up at you (almost with teary eyes). But they taste too good with lemon and basil . It’s as close to hunting as i get.
americanscandoanything: What do you want to “bet” the good Congressman’s reelection coffers are stuffed with donations from the gambling casinos floating along the Gulf Coast (as opposed to the ones floating in cyberspace). And not to say his stock trades aren’t an addiction, but he may just take tips from Eric Cantor, rather than obsess about it.
El Pinche: I’m in the boat taking Joe’s picture.
Custerwolf: Wow. That sounds like a story a pussy little crybaby vegetarian (like me) would tell. I don’t think you’d make it as a hunter/gatherer. Nor would I.
hobospacejunkie: As somewhat of a freegan, I have sustained myself quite well over the years on meatless leftovers garnered from my job (I work at a camp and conference center). Joe’s a pretty sensitive guy (he wouldn’t let anyone kill Hector, the spider who lived in his drift boat), but since fish is a big part of his diet, he bonks a few each season. I was ELATED when that fish got loose. I was standing there laughing my ass off and to his credit Joe didn’t tip the boat and dump me in the freezing-ass cold water.
Granted I’m the world’s worst proof-reader (that perceptual phenomenon whereby our brains kindly fill in our optical blind spots with what “should” be there - works TOO good and too broadly in my case) - still, there seems to be some rather important punctuation absent from the glowering title piece.