LIKE IS SHE FOR REAL?  5:13 pm April 9, 2009

Meghan McCain Lands Book Deal For $100 Million Ameros

by Jim Newell

It is the political news of the century, and the New York Observer has WON THE AFTERNOON: “Meghan McCain’s Book Sold to Hyperion For High Six Figures.” Yup! Somehow her insanely terrible Daily Beast/cable news media sojourn has worked, and now she is rich as the dickens, all over again. So what’s the book about? Will it be like her columns? “Umm Hey Government Guys? This Ahmad Chalabi Dude Is Totes Lying To You?”

HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED. Her daddy literally called his friend “Flip” at an agency called “Sterling Lord Literistic” to demand that he make his daughter more richer with an imaginary book about nothing.

John McCain’s 24-year-old daughter Meghan has a book deal! Sources say Hyperion has prevailed over at least three other publishers in an auction that began earlier this week, following a round of meetings during which the in-your-face young conservative and the literary agent she shares with her father, Sterling Lord Literistic president Flip Brophy, discussed a number of possible approaches to the book with editors around town.

Several sources said the advance Ms. McCain will receive from Hyperion, which is owned by the Disney Company, is in the high six figures.

This is real world pornography. It is a pornographic real world situation in New York.

Meghan McCain’s Book Sold to Hyperion For High Six Figures [NYO]

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Scarab April 9, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Sure, why not.

Keram2 April 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm

In these trying economic times (ITTET), this is super, super depressing.

SayItWithWookies April 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Literistic?! Is that really a good name for a literary agency? That’s like walking into your Secretary of State’s office and seeing an upside-down map of the world on her wall.
And — just out of curiosity — how many of Meghan’s books did John promise to buy?

magic titty April 9, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Everyone name your penis Flip Brophy right now.

NoWireHangers April 9, 2009 at 5:21 pm

You know this is actually a good thing, because when Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham called Meghan “fat” I felt a little sorry for her. I thought, hey, maybe this Meghan McCain doesn’t irritate me so much, she seems intelligent and decent for a Republican. Then she got $100 Million dollars for being WALNUTS! daughter and I hated her again. It’s the circle of life.

Texan Bulldoggette April 9, 2009 at 5:21 pm

Ugh…what is she going to prattle on about for 200+ pages? Ideas:

1. how I tried to give my sister, Bridget, a makeover but she’s still brown
2. remembering mommy telling me that all those white pills were adult vitamins & beauty pills
3. how Jonathan Martin gave me the crabs during one of those BBQ/press hangout (actually I’d read this one)

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 9, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=285689]SayItWithWookies[/re]: With an agent named “Flip Brophy,” you’re even remotely surprised by “Literistic”?

TeddyS April 9, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Chapter 1 — Laura Ingraham is fat and dumb.
Chapter 2 — Laura Ingraham got even fatter and dumber while you were reading Chapter 1.
Chapter 3 — See Chapter 1.
The End

Norbert April 9, 2009 at 5:22 pm

If i was in charge of the alt-text, I would have put “rags to riches”. maybe even “rags to riches, bitches”.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla April 9, 2009 at 5:23 pm

She worked hard for that.

shortsshortsshorts April 9, 2009 at 5:24 pm

HEY EVERYONE. She is a Democrat now, or will be. Someone sent us a Twitter thing where she says “Why is is so hard to be a democratic republican? We ARE out there.” Basically this means that she is still a dipshit, but hey, give her a book deal.

chascates April 9, 2009 at 5:24 pm

If it’s like Madonna’s book <i.Sex then I suppose I’ll have to get one.
Or maybe if it has lots of dirt on Sarah Palin; I’d go for that.

prophet1195 April 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm

She’s going to write a book like I’m going to fly to the moon using her Daddy’s farts.

tunamelt April 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=285696]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’d read #3 also.

Is this going to be a picture book?

Vartan84 April 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Does this mean we can no longer make fun of her for being an unemployed loser? She’s still an unemployed loser, sure, but she’s making more doing it than I’ve ever… in my life… I’m so depressed. What the hell she even need this ‘money’ thing for anyway? Isn’t just one of her mom’s belts or a shoe worth more than that whole book deal anyway? Money is wasted on the rich.

tunamelt April 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=285704]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: It’s like a reverse Reagan.

tunamelt April 9, 2009 at 5:26 pm

And yes, a reverse Reagan is sort of like a reverse cowgirl.

El Pinche April 9, 2009 at 5:27 pm

[re=285696]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Hahaha.
No kidding, that’s what i was thinking. 200+ pages of “oh ma god! blahblah”

No incest, baby daddies, retarded babies, meth, roads to buttfuck , lies .etc. I’m waiting for a Johnston book.

prizepig April 9, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Chapter 1: Conservatism, what’s that all about?
Chapter 2: What I learned from war heroes, like my dad, the war hero.
Chapter 3: My Sex Life
Chapter 4: Writing things for money is easy.
Chapter 5: Look! I’m getting paid for this right now.
Chapter 6: Let’s see… what’s in the news?
Chapter 7: Dry rubs
Chapter 8: The end?

El Pinche April 9, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Conclusion: Oh yeah, and Laura’s a fat lesbian.

KittyLitter April 9, 2009 at 5:30 pm

I’m guessing it won’t be a diet book.

sevenrepeat April 9, 2009 at 5:31 pm

she sure has a large vocabulary for someone with such a small dictionary. the more she talks the smarter i feel.

Doghouse Riley April 9, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Six figure advance against 10% of the net–and yes, Flip Brophy is that good–which means she’ll be returning roughly, oh, six figures of it.

swarm of bees April 9, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=285718]El Pinche[/re]: Hell yeah!

Entitled—-> “WHAT UP BITCHEZZZ??!!: The Levi Johnston Story.”

tunamelt April 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm

“Anne Coulter is a bitch and other thoughts from 2004,” by Meghan McCain.

“Have you heard of that Michael Moore fellow?” by Meghan McCain.


El Pinche April 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=285728]swarm of bees[/re]:
Chapter 1: “Bangin Briss”
Chapter 2: “Bangin sis”
Chapter 3: “Old fuck shows up and kills my buzz. i gotta get on a fuckin plane and wear a faggot suit for the TV people. Fuck that, i’d rather chill n shit.”
Chapter 4: “Funny face baby”

etcera, etcera

SayItWithWookies April 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=285697]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: He could’ve just gotten used to Flip after having it inflicted on him. There’s no excuse for Literistic. It’s ignorantastic.

Kev-O-Tron April 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=285704]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I put up a new post on your blog.

RE: the book

Do they give an American Book Award for effort? If not they should and it will be called the Meghan Award for Entitled, Spoiled, Brat Writers.

prizepig April 9, 2009 at 5:38 pm


Jukesgrrl April 9, 2009 at 5:38 pm

When do we find out that Hyperion is owned by a conglomerate getting a government bailout?

frailamerica April 9, 2009 at 5:41 pm

There is no God.

assistant/atlas April 9, 2009 at 5:46 pm

[re=285728]swarm of bees[/re]: Entitled “Fuckin’ Redneck: The Levi Johnston Story”

The Lifetime movie, told from Bristol’s POV, will be “Not Without My Tripp: The Bristol Palin Story”

JohnnyMac April 9, 2009 at 5:49 pm

I pity the poor ghost writer/editor that has to create a novel from the 6,000 twitter posts Meghan is going to turn in as her first draft.

Zbigniew Chrysler April 9, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Flip Brophy is a woman. I’m sure she’s lovely.

SayItWithWookies April 9, 2009 at 5:49 pm

[re=285751]frailamerica[/re]: Thanks for that. After all the crappy news today, it’s nice to have a reminder about what’s right with the world.

Rockstar April 9, 2009 at 5:57 pm

She had a book out this summer. Not a first Ms. McCain.

Tommmcatt April 9, 2009 at 6:00 pm

[re=285694]magic titty[/re]:

Way ahead of you, ABG!

Zbigniew Chrysler April 9, 2009 at 6:07 pm

[re=285783]Tommmcatt[/re]: You’re naming your penis Angryblakguy?

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 6:21 pm

I’m gonna have to wait till it comes out in paperback before buying it for firestarter.

proudgrampa April 9, 2009 at 6:24 pm


american mutt April 9, 2009 at 6:35 pm

Why is this woman so fucking cute and stupid?

One Yield Regular April 9, 2009 at 6:47 pm

Whiners! I’m sure she’s going to donate that obscene sum towards reducing South Carolina’s debt, or some other worthwhile cause.

Also: Is it going to be written entirely in Twitter?

torera April 9, 2009 at 7:04 pm

If she writes about Palin I’ll read it. I won’t buy it, but I’ll read it.

P Drizzle April 9, 2009 at 7:10 pm

There’s only one proper response to this development: hatefuck buttsecks. Also.

imissopus April 9, 2009 at 7:11 pm

As a struggling writer with an MFA, let me just say FUCK YOU YOU UNTALENTED DIPSHIT BIMBO!!

Can you introduce me to your agent? Also.

P Drizzle April 9, 2009 at 7:21 pm

[re=285860]imissopus[/re]: The market has spoken. As a fellow starving MFA I say who, then, are we to question its exasperatingly fickle whims?

daisy chain April 9, 2009 at 7:29 pm

Hey my dad’s a war vet and a loser, too. Can I get a book deal? I also have nothing of value to say. And I’m not fat! Also.

4Sheezy4Eva April 9, 2009 at 7:32 pm

Slug stamps for all the war vets! Also.

daisy chain April 9, 2009 at 7:35 pm

[re=285862]P Drizzle[/re]: It figures this place is full of MFA’s. Nice to see years of honing your craft put to the noble cause of commenting on Wonkette. About teh buttsecks.

P Drizzle April 9, 2009 at 8:14 pm

[re=285870]daisy chain[/re]: Well I just did it to avoid getting a real job. And it totally worked!

Bruno April 9, 2009 at 8:52 pm

Attention Levi: Similar book deals are there for the taking. It’s not hard. We know you have something to say. You won’t even have to write it and someone else can draw the pixxx

Plus Meghan is lookin’ for rebel republican luvin’ (hot book ‘author’ sex awaits) – you can fulill all your campaign trail footsie with her.

engulfedinflames April 9, 2009 at 9:08 pm

hey im a mfa too. ive been self-unemployed for close to forty years, it’s been great (except for the poverty part)but wouldn’t you rather get to choose how to spend your time than your money? my degree has proven to be a hindrance in that it has prevented me from landing more than one sweet custodial position .

TGY April 9, 2009 at 10:04 pm

‘High six figures’ is not 100 million. That would be $100,000,000. ‘High six figures’ is more near one million. It’s OK, we understand one has to go to 538 for actual math.

kudzu April 9, 2009 at 10:04 pm

Fucking cunt.

Alex Trebeks Girl April 9, 2009 at 10:30 pm


Zadig April 9, 2009 at 10:59 pm

[re=285947]TGY[/re]: Six figures certainly wouldn’t be 100 million dollars, but god knows how many Ameros it is.

Gallowglass April 10, 2009 at 12:12 am

[re=285694]magic titty[/re]: But mine’s already named John Boehner!

Gallowglass April 10, 2009 at 12:17 am

[re=285851]torera[/re]: Yeah, me too. I’m gonna cold fuckin’ stand there in Borders with the employees glaring at me and read the whole thing, cover to fucking cover. Then I’ll sneer, walk out and cry in my car.

Gallowglass April 10, 2009 at 12:51 am

[re=285713]tunamelt[/re]: Mmmm. Meghan in a reverse cowgirl. Sign me up.

mr. wunnerful April 10, 2009 at 1:35 am

“Europe on $30,000 a Day”

Zadig April 10, 2009 at 1:39 am

[re=285989]Gallowglass[/re]: No way, break down weeping just a few feet from the door. And buy a Magic: The Gathering booster pack on your way out. They just won’t know what the fuck to think.

2liberal April 10, 2009 at 1:59 am

my friends, high six figures means a max number of $999,999 which is under ONE MILLION. the sensationalist title of 100 Million should be changed. Thank you. Also, when are you going to stop palling around with terrorists?

hobospacejunkie April 10, 2009 at 3:18 am

[re=285931]engulfedinflames[/re]: I’ve been gainfully unemployed for 9 years and thought I was kickin’ ass. You are my hero. I would ask if it gets easier as time goes by, but it couldn’t possibly get any easier than it already is.

Also. The title says $100 million ameros which is not the same as $100 million dollars. I do not know the exact worth of one amero (I’m thinking in the 0¢-1¢ range) but just because ameros and dollars use the same $ sign doesn’t mean their worth is equal. Also.

schvitzatura April 10, 2009 at 4:57 am

[re=286021]hobospacejunkie[/re], [re=286014]2liberal[/re]: 100 Grand Bar (formerly known as $100,000 Bar), as a point of reference, as it were. Also.

TGY April 10, 2009 at 7:39 am

[re=285964]Zadig[/re]: In that case, who cares how many she gets? Could be a billion smaboleans or a quadrillion hobobeans or one Metric Buttload of Zimbabwean dollars. Nate Silverman would not stand for such imprecision, or at least he wouldn’t stand for it sitting down.

Scandinavian Fetus April 10, 2009 at 8:01 am

[re=285721]prizepig[/re]: Well said!

By the way, who actually BUYS these comic books?

I know that they are full of wise, philosophical musings, that even some infants struggle to apprehend, and all, but….

Scandinavian Fetus April 10, 2009 at 8:08 am

My unborn children just threw up in their mouths.

arclight April 10, 2009 at 11:20 am

I just realized I’m not the misogynist I thought I was, because now that I recall, Rachel Maddow looked like she was going to drool when Meghan was on her show a few weeks ago.

Paul David April 10, 2009 at 8:01 pm

I wonder how much she’ll get for the inevitable Playboy spread.

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