Wonkette
It is the political news of the century, and the New York Observer has WON THE AFTERNOON: “Meghan McCain’s Book Sold to Hyperion For High Six Figures.” Yup! Somehow her insanely terrible Daily Beast/cable news media sojourn has worked, and now she is rich as the dickens, all over again. So what’s the book about? Will it be like her columns? “Umm Hey Government Guys? This Ahmad Chalabi Dude Is Totes Lying To You?”
HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED. Her daddy literally called his friend “Flip” at an agency called “Sterling Lord Literistic” to demand that he make his daughter more richer with an imaginary book about nothing.
John McCain’s 24-year-old daughter Meghan has a book deal! Sources say Hyperion has prevailed over at least three other publishers in an auction that began earlier this week, following a round of meetings during which the in-your-face young conservative and the literary agent she shares with her father, Sterling Lord Literistic president Flip Brophy, discussed a number of possible approaches to the book with editors around town.
Several sources said the advance Ms. McCain will receive from Hyperion, which is owned by the Disney Company, is in the high six figures.
This is real world pornography. It is a pornographic real world situation in New York.
Meghan McCain’s Book Sold to Hyperion For High Six Figures [NYO]
Sure, why not.
In these trying economic times (ITTET), this is super, super depressing.
Literistic?! Is that really a good name for a literary agency? That’s like walking into your Secretary of State’s office and seeing an upside-down map of the world on her wall.
And — just out of curiosity — how many of Meghan’s books did John promise to buy?
Everyone name your penis Flip Brophy right now.
You know this is actually a good thing, because when Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham called Meghan “fat” I felt a little sorry for her. I thought, hey, maybe this Meghan McCain doesn’t irritate me so much, she seems intelligent and decent for a Republican. Then she got $100 Million dollars for being WALNUTS! daughter and I hated her again. It’s the circle of life.
Ugh…what is she going to prattle on about for 200+ pages? Ideas:
1. how I tried to give my sister, Bridget, a makeover but she’s still brown
2. remembering mommy telling me that all those white pills were adult vitamins & beauty pills
3. how Jonathan Martin gave me the crabs during one of those BBQ/press hangout (actually I’d read this one)
SayItWithWookies: With an agent named “Flip Brophy,” you’re even remotely surprised by “Literistic”?
Chapter 1 — Laura Ingraham is fat and dumb.
Chapter 2 — Laura Ingraham got even fatter and dumber while you were reading Chapter 1.
Chapter 3 — See Chapter 1.
The End
If i was in charge of the alt-text, I would have put “rags to riches”. maybe even “rags to riches, bitches”.
She worked hard for that.
HEY EVERYONE. She is a Democrat now, or will be. Someone sent us a Twitter thing where she says “Why is is so hard to be a democratic republican? We ARE out there.” Basically this means that she is still a dipshit, but hey, give her a book deal.
If it’s like Madonna’s book <i.Sex then I suppose I’ll have to get one.
Or maybe if it has lots of dirt on Sarah Palin; I’d go for that.
She’s going to write a book like I’m going to fly to the moon using her Daddy’s farts.
Texan Bulldoggette: I’d read #3 also.
Is this going to be a picture book?
Does this mean we can no longer make fun of her for being an unemployed loser? She’s still an unemployed loser, sure, but she’s making more doing it than I’ve ever… in my life… I’m so depressed. What the hell she even need this ‘money’ thing for anyway? Isn’t just one of her mom’s belts or a shoe worth more than that whole book deal anyway? Money is wasted on the rich.
shortsshortsshorts: It’s like a reverse Reagan.
And yes, a reverse Reagan is sort of like a reverse cowgirl.
Texan Bulldoggette: Hahaha.
No kidding, that’s what i was thinking. 200+ pages of “oh ma god! blahblah”
No incest, baby daddies, retarded babies, meth, roads to buttfuck , lies .etc. I’m waiting for a Johnston book.
Chapter 1: Conservatism, what’s that all about?
Chapter 2: What I learned from war heroes, like my dad, the war hero.
Chapter 3: My Sex Life
Chapter 4: Writing things for money is easy.
Chapter 5: Look! I’m getting paid for this right now.
Chapter 6: Let’s see… what’s in the news?
Chapter 7: Dry rubs
Chapter 8: The end?
TeddyS:
Conclusion: Oh yeah, and Laura’s a fat lesbian.
I’m guessing it won’t be a diet book.
she sure has a large vocabulary for someone with such a small dictionary. the more she talks the smarter i feel.
Six figure advance against 10% of the net–and yes, Flip Brophy is that good–which means she’ll be returning roughly, oh, six figures of it.
El Pinche: Hell yeah!
Entitled—-> “WHAT UP BITCHEZZZ??!!: The Levi Johnston Story.”
“Anne Coulter is a bitch and other thoughts from 2004,” by Meghan McCain.
“Have you heard of that Michael Moore fellow?” by Meghan McCain.
etc.
swarm of bees:
Chapter 1: “Bangin Briss”
Chapter 2: “Bangin sis”
Chapter 3: “Old fuck shows up and kills my buzz. i gotta get on a fuckin plane and wear a faggot suit for the TV people. Fuck that, i’d rather chill n shit.”
Chapter 4: “Funny face baby”
etcera, etcera
queeraselvis v 2.0: He could’ve just gotten used to Flip after having it inflicted on him. There’s no excuse for Literistic. It’s ignorantastic.
shortsshortsshorts: I put up a new post on your blog.
RE: the book
Do they give an American Book Award for effort? If not they should and it will be called the Meghan Award for Entitled, Spoiled, Brat Writers.
KittyLitter:
Zing!
When do we find out that Hyperion is owned by a conglomerate getting a government bailout?
There is no God.
swarm of bees: Entitled “Fuckin’ Redneck: The Levi Johnston Story”
/fixed
The Lifetime movie, told from Bristol’s POV, will be “Not Without My Tripp: The Bristol Palin Story”
I pity the poor ghost writer/editor that has to create a novel from the 6,000 twitter posts Meghan is going to turn in as her first draft.
Flip Brophy is a woman. I’m sure she’s lovely.
frailamerica: Thanks for that. After all the crappy news today, it’s nice to have a reminder about what’s right with the world.
She had a book out this summer. Not a first Ms. McCain.
magic titty:
Way ahead of you, ABG!
Tommmcatt: You’re naming your penis Angryblakguy?
I’m gonna have to wait till it comes out in paperback before buying it for firestarter.
WTF?
Why is this woman so fucking cute and stupid?
Whiners! I’m sure she’s going to donate that obscene sum towards reducing South Carolina’s debt, or some other worthwhile cause.
Also: Is it going to be written entirely in Twitter?
If she writes about Palin I’ll read it. I won’t buy it, but I’ll read it.
There’s only one proper response to this development: hatefuck buttsecks. Also.
As a struggling writer with an MFA, let me just say FUCK YOU YOU UNTALENTED DIPSHIT BIMBO!!
Can you introduce me to your agent? Also.
imissopus: The market has spoken. As a fellow starving MFA I say who, then, are we to question its exasperatingly fickle whims?
Hey my dad’s a war vet and a loser, too. Can I get a book deal? I also have nothing of value to say. And I’m not fat! Also.
Slug stamps for all the war vets! Also.
P Drizzle: It figures this place is full of MFA’s. Nice to see years of honing your craft put to the noble cause of commenting on Wonkette. About teh buttsecks.
daisy chain: Well I just did it to avoid getting a real job. And it totally worked!
Attention Levi: Similar book deals are there for the taking. It’s not hard. We know you have something to say. You won’t even have to write it and someone else can draw the pixxx
Plus Meghan is lookin’ for rebel republican luvin’ (hot book ‘author’ sex awaits) - you can fulill all your campaign trail footsie with her.
hey im a mfa too. ive been self-unemployed for close to forty years, it’s been great (except for the poverty part)but wouldn’t you rather get to choose how to spend your time than your money? my degree has proven to be a hindrance in that it has prevented me from landing more than one sweet custodial position .
‘High six figures’ is not 100 million. That would be $100,000,000. ‘High six figures’ is more near one million. It’s OK, we understand one has to go to 538 for actual math.
Fucking cunt.
Trollop.
TGY: Six figures certainly wouldn’t be 100 million dollars, but god knows how many Ameros it is.
magic titty: But mine’s already named John Boehner!
torera: Yeah, me too. I’m gonna cold fuckin’ stand there in Borders with the employees glaring at me and read the whole thing, cover to fucking cover. Then I’ll sneer, walk out and cry in my car.
tunamelt: Mmmm. Meghan in a reverse cowgirl. Sign me up.
“Europe on $30,000 a Day”
Gallowglass: No way, break down weeping just a few feet from the door. And buy a Magic: The Gathering booster pack on your way out. They just won’t know what the fuck to think.
my friends, high six figures means a max number of $999,999 which is under ONE MILLION. the sensationalist title of 100 Million should be changed. Thank you. Also, when are you going to stop palling around with terrorists?
engulfedinflames: I’ve been gainfully unemployed for 9 years and thought I was kickin’ ass. You are my hero. I would ask if it gets easier as time goes by, but it couldn’t possibly get any easier than it already is.
Also. The title says $100 million ameros which is not the same as $100 million dollars. I do not know the exact worth of one amero (I’m thinking in the 0¢-1¢ range) but just because ameros and dollars use the same $ sign doesn’t mean their worth is equal. Also.
hobospacejunkie, 2liberal: 100 Grand Bar (formerly known as $100,000 Bar), as a point of reference, as it were. Also.
Zadig: In that case, who cares how many she gets? Could be a billion smaboleans or a quadrillion hobobeans or one Metric Buttload of Zimbabwean dollars. Nate Silverman would not stand for such imprecision, or at least he wouldn’t stand for it sitting down.
prizepig: Well said!
By the way, who actually BUYS these comic books?
I know that they are full of wise, philosophical musings, that even some infants struggle to apprehend, and all, but….
My unborn children just threw up in their mouths.
I just realized I’m not the misogynist I thought I was, because now that I recall, Rachel Maddow looked like she was going to drool when Meghan was on her show a few weeks ago.
I wonder how much she’ll get for the inevitable Playboy spread.