Wonkette
Last week was learningsy, hm? Synopsis: we talked about Foreign Affairs and explored some important theories about colonialism and its most nefarious agent: the Mercator projection. Such the fun! This week it’s on to bigger and better: namely, Taco Talk, the in-house monthly of the DC restaurant California Tortilla. Taco Talk, or “TT” as it was called with a distinctly pejorative inflection in certain neoconservative circles, was founded in 1934 as the premier journal of the anti-Stalinist left. Come, let us take a look.
“MANY OF YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS”: The titular “you” refers to the collective CalTort customer, while “this” is a trendy new social theory in which Your hot sauce preference is psychologically indicative, in some way. “Indicative of what?” you ask, noting that one can’t describe something as “indicative” without saying what, exactly, that something is supposed to indicate. Oh well then you must be a “Jamaican Hell Fire”: one who makes sweeping categorical declarations. You’re also apparently good with a bow and arrow. Good for you! There are other “types” too. Go on: self-diagnose. [Taco Talk, Issue 165]
“Psst..WANT FREE FOOD?”: CalTort wants to “network” by convincing You to “follow” its Twitter and Facebook and the other one, MySpace. (Apparently, CalTort is currently enrolled in a few New Media Internet Social Media in the Age of the Digital Internet seminars at the Columbia Journalism School.) Anyway, so if you do CT this small favor, the restaurant will send you secret passwords that will eventually result in Your receiving of food, free of charge. [Taco Talk, Issue 165]
“BECAUSE WE’RE GIVERS…”: That culturally transgressive treat of yore, the Teryaki Chicken Burrito, is back, for a limited time. Plus, they are giving away free fortune cookies, perhaps as a mea culpa for the existence of Teryaki Chicken Burrito? [Taco Talk, Issue 165]
So, the weekend for Wonkette now begins on Thursday afternoon.
Fuck California Tortilla. Tortilla Coast has the best queso, margaritas, and drunken kickball skanks in the District, hands down.
Speaking of Foreign Affairs, this is a fucking epic video, right here and now, of our Italian friend Silvio Berlusconi humping a meter maid:
http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=1737
This is so right wing. How does a hobo who needs free burritos as a supplement to beans get on Twitter (even if they have hobo cell phones).
Queeb.
So what hot sauce is for the person who eats BBQ’d guinea pigs while lesbian-ogling other mothers at the park and likes to yell BINGO at the craps table after driving to town in your 1972 Datsun?
But what of the pro-Stalinist ‘Burrito Talk’? Perhaps they should bury the hatchet? Probably in Trotsky.
Haha “Taco Talk” is the name of a neat little song by a band called Vu Ray Robers.
East Coast Mexican food. Ha! That’s funny!
Also, it’s NSFOCS — that’s Not Safe for Opponents of Comic Sans. Jfruh, avert your eyes!
Isn’t Taco Talk a synonym for Vagina Monologue?
Gay. So gay. So so very very gay.
shortsshortsshorts: I don’t know which is better- his face as he humps her or her not noticing until he is done.
OT, but there cannot be enough stories here until it knocks off that damned Carrot Top pic.
I’ve had mexican food in DC, and here in East L.A..
aww-
It’s cute that you think that’s mexican food!
StephanieInCA: You had me at “drunken kickball skanks” but to know they are “hands down” is one appealing visual, FTW.
I personally frequent the new, upcoming, strip-shopping-center-based tortilla chain, Arkansas Tortilla. There, you can git a possum tortilla, a raccoon tortilla, a squirrel tortilla, a rabbit-stew tortilla and, just new this week, the foie gras tortilla.
And their newsletter is called Tortilla Jabber.
shortsshortsshorts: picadillythirds: both. EPIC HUMPING SCENE!
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!: YES, WE HAVE A GOAL!
You can get decent Salvadorean food in Arlington but for the most part your best shot at Mexican anywhere near the District is yuppie fake burritos at chains with cutesy-poo names. Even Manhattan has better Mexican food, now.
And your ribs ain’t shit, either. Also.
A Teriyaki Burrito is not merely wrong but is FUCKING STUPID WRONG!
Even with a fortune cookie.
Next, we’ll be sharing recipes!
shortsshortsshorts: Let me know when the dance remix is out.
ChernobylSoup: Dave’s Insanity: You drive a 1972 Datsun, wear your collar up (you know who you are) and nobody is more surprised than you that you’re having trouble finding that “special lady.”
Just a suggestion: use it like ketchup.
well, maybe not. check the ingredients on the label (don’t have a bottle with me, so I’ll just say “habañero concentrate”)
qwerty42: For guinea pig, I recommend Inner Beauty.
Dave’s Insanity (I have some of the limited edition left, given that I can use about one drop every three months) is for TT.
Someone failed to point out that “TT” = “Tit Torture.”
Hedley Lamar:
Perhaps, but I think they start the blow and scotch sometime around 7:00 on Wednesday night.
Accordion-o-rama: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Awesome.
So, let me get this straight. If you suck off a Taco Bell “Manager” you can get a green card or even a “passport.” So it’s a proto-marxist imperialist capitalist plot. I just want to be sure before I call the FBI, RCMP, MI5, KGB, Deuxieme Bureau, and CHP. So how does that Angels’ pitcher fill into the plot?