A Hill staffer sends us this comical image and writes: “This fridge is located outside of the House Republican Conference in Longworth House Building. They seem to be moving offices, and this is a note they have attached to their fridge.” Be sure to read the very end, in which the Chocolate Milk Nazis note that the House Republican Conference “steals too much.” But perhaps the American People do not give a shit if some Hill staffers are drinking too much stolen chocolate milk?

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  1. The House Republican Conference “…borrows too much, drinks too much, steals too much.” At last, an admission of guilt. The Repubs may be finally on to something with this burst of self-realization.

    Now, when do we hear about the child molesting, mistresses, and male hookers?

  2. Spending over $10,000 from every man, woman and child in the United States on a failed recovery program? Definitely.

    But don’t fuck with chocolate milk, god dammit.

  3. “The American people deserve better?” There’s a nice little understatement. For 700 billion dollars I want chocolate milk to come out of every faucet in America for a thousand years.

  4. So this explains why all of those GOP-ers keep getting outed for strange sexual perversions: They’re all hopped up on Nestle(R) chocolate milk, which is European(c) and, therefore, full of gayness(tm) and sin juice.

    If anyone would like to license the terms on that note or this post, write to…

  5. [re=285489]freakishlystrong[/re]: The chocolate is added later to the initial whiteness, kind of like white kids taking to rap music, so it’s ok.

  6. [re=285474]Mild Midwesterner[/re]:

    You’re right. They should immediately suspect a staffer for a district in or around Dauphin County, Pennsylvania.

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  8. Members of Congress are the geeks who were in Student Council in high school, where they thought they were a big deal, being too out of it to realize nobody but geeks cared about Student Council, and the other kids were off getting high and having fun. Now they’re members of Congress.
    And the only people geekier are the Congressional aides. They are chock full of self-importance, and just death if they corner you at a party.

  9. How else are you supposed to lure a 12-year-old page back to your office without Chocolate milk?

    The real scandal is that Republicans are stealing foreign Nestle’s chocolate milk, instead of good, American Hersey’s chocolate milk.

  10. I love those passive aggressive notes co-workers leave around the office. “Your mother does not work here – please clean up after yourself”. I put uncovered food in the microwave, crank it up to 30 minutes and just leave. MWAH HAH HAH HAH!

    I’d be throwing empty chocolate milk cartons back in the fridge after I was done.

    Yes, I am a passive aggressive pain in the ass. Why do you ask?

  11. P&P = pencil & paper, like Dungeons & Dragons?

    Are House staffers seriously complaining that someone’s stealing their snacks for when they play tabletop role-playing games?

    And what the heck kind of chocolate milk is “very expensive to buy”?

  12. [re=285493]loudmouthredhead[/re]: If the staffer who wrote that message isn’t full of gayness (the bitchy, retentive, passive-aggressive variety), I will take a chocolate enema.

  13. [re=285565]Godot[/re]: i always thought p&p (or pnp) meant “party and play” which references drugs and sex. so it is written.

  14. P&P??????????????????????? Of COURSE this was near the House Republican Conference!

    From Urban Dictionary:

    Ii>1. P&P
    (verb) to “Party & Play”. Term seems to originate from Craigslist and/or other personal ads where the poster of the ad is in search of someone to Party (Do drugs. Usually Crystal Meth.) and Play (Engage in sex acts or intercourse.) with, just for the day/night. This term seems to be most prevalent among homosexual men.
    “Hung White Man, 35, ISO young Vin Diesel look-alike for P&P, you host. I’ll bring the D!”

  15. Lay them off.

    Lay ALL of them off.

    It’s the only way to help them grow some real problems for themselves.

    Perhaps the coping skills will follow, although I would not bet on it,
    given the evidence presented here.

  16. Isn’t Nestle the company that paid all the lobbying money to be able to sell their childrens’ milk stuff to the poor overseas?

  17. This year for my husband’s birthday, I won’t buy him the bottle of single-malt Scotch but go with the insanely expensive chocolate milk instead. Won’t he be surprised?

  18. [re=285545]shanemacgowan[/re]: Sorry, Courtney and Rachel can’t comment right now, they are too busy with my cock in their mouthes.

  19. My passive aggressive note would simply state that I have dunked my teabag into said luxury chocolate milk and if they didn’t want to taste of my trouzernutz, it’s my way or the Hershey highway. Then again I would be drinking ovaltine like a real merkin and not that nestlé shit. Except for quik, that’s acceptable.

  20. [re=285504]suchsweetthunder[/re]: [re=285556]problemwithcaring[/re]: You’re both onto something. “Chocolate” is not the flavor of the milk, but the color of the human breasts that produced the milk. The purpose of the sign is to express the GOP leadership’s displeasure that some of the younger staffers are drinking the breast milk of the First Lady and various members of the Congressional Black Caucus. This is not the sort of change we can believe in.

  21. Republicans surprised their own are stealing from them? Expected! Republican staffer too poor to help their own with tiny luxuries? Irony! Also, Ron Paul only drinks Strawberry Quik.

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