Wonkette
Some self-hating-queer wingnut who runs some bullshit thing called “Morality In Media” released this clarifying statement today, after blaming the current American murder-suicide spree on the gay rights movement: “It most certainly is not my intention to blame the epidemic of mass murders on the gay rights movement!” Certainly! [Christian News Wire]
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It’s not teh gheys. It’s just April. Can we please just cancel fucking April? Barry? Pls?
So, if we know they are xtians by their love, can we also know their neo-xtians by their insane, hate-filled screeds?
Gay marriage causes mass shootings? You certainly can’t argue with that logic.
I just you all keep that in mind when I publish my argument that the AIG bailout has caused the Yankees to suck.
Just like the old Moral Majority, Morality in Media is neither moral nor, uh, medium? Well done?
I thought I’d be clever, now I just feel immoral.
Morrissey on Wonkette? Not that I’m complaining, I’m seeing him at Coachella next Friday!
Well, come on…everyone KNOWS that, like chronic leads to crack, butt sex leads to shooting the fuck out of everything.
And, of course, once again the Jesus freaks cannot distinguish between relationships between two people of the same sex and butt sex. Of course, they have no problem bugging the shit out of their wives until she gives up some back door action.
Until the president is black, female, or gay, America has nothing to say to me. Wait, what?
I blame teabaging.
Some irrational leaps are bigger than others.
NoWireHangers: Because you’re an emo Mexican kid?
Strange. Morrissey songs make me want to kill people.
So wingnuts will off themselves if you gay marry in front of them.
Get on it, guys.
Well that makes sense. “Buy rednecks more guns” has always been at the top of my personal gay agenda.
I’m not a huge Morrissey fan, but that’s a great album cover.
He also blames unwed mothers. I agree, Bristol Palin caused all these shootings. It all makes sense now.
Meat is murder. Especially when that meat is a big gay cock in your mouth.
NoWireHangers: Damn I did not know he was doing Coachella. I was going to brave that awful “festival,” for Leonard Cohen, but instead will see Cohen tomorrow night!
tunamelt: Before the emo-Mexican kids were born, Morrissey was a big deal.
One of the first things you learn in statistics is “correlation is not causation”.
I blame Oliver Cromwell.
Ah, the good old days…I miss the Moral Majority. Where did they goes? Are they all still waiting for the rapture at an undisclosed location (read Orlando)….?
tunamelt: Wait, emo-mexican vegans? The universe is stranger than I can think it to be.
Totally saw that coming.
‘I am an opponent of making guns the scapegoat for mass murder.’
Really, let’s not take this out on all those poor, unenfranchised guns.
Of course it wasn’t the Jesus Goblin’s intention to blame it on the gays. It’s simply an unconscious reflex that causes he/she/it to type out a full-length blog denouncing homosexuality every time something bad happens. The author actually loves teh gheys, and this medical condition has led to some awkward moments in its social circle.
Some people would say that that asshole’s hypothesis is based on correlation, not causation. But it doesn’t even rise to that level of logical fallacy, as murder specifically — and violent crime generally — have been going down since about 1980.
http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm
Isn’t this blaming the folks who got killed because they were in the way of the bullets?
Perhaps if teh gheyz in Kaliphonya went psycho over the Prop 8 mess and went on shooting rampages killings straights and Mormonii with rainbow and glitter bullets then perhaps deep-in-the-closet fundie whackjobs might have had a point, but teh gheyz and their friends did not. They put on a muscial. A FUCKING MUSICAL!
If the fundie whackadoos were really into an eye for an eye, they’d put on their own version of a musical.
Its bullshit like this that makes me want to grab a gun and shoot my entire family.
It’s not a “sexual revolution,” dude. People been buttfuckin’ and and killin’ each other with weapons since they ate the forbidden fruit, remember? Where do ya think they got the name sodomy from? And the Caine and Able story, also. It’s about civil rights, jerkoff.
BillyClubb: SayItWithWookies: Correlation.
I saw Morrissey with The Smiths on their first tour, back in 1983. The only reason I tell you this, is to show I’m cooler than the lot of you. I was one of the few emo-Mexicans living in Scotland at the time.
SayItWithWookies: You and your “facts”
BillyClubb: It’s a shame that not one out of a million of these assholes has ever taken a statistics class.
Someone really needs to sit down with these folks and say, “OK, do you really want to make the Atlantic’s editors think they need to keep Andrew Sullivan employed?”
Zadig: Well, they also blamed 9/11 on teh gayz. I blame blaming teh gayz on the death of Communism. When the good old Soviet Union was alive and well, I could live my life in peace and tranquility (and not have to ever worry about marrying the guy I was sleeping with). Ahhhh, the 80s.
Can anyone tell me why all weapons are phallic? When can we get a weapon that looks like a vagina?
“The link between gay marriage and mass murder” sounds suspiciously similar to the “link between Iraq and 9/11″ If you take an object relationship map and draw out all of the links between 9/11 and Iraq it becomes pretty fucking hard not to trace a line right through “George Bush”. I’d wager the same thing is true with this link, and the nexus is somewhere around “religion.”
Custerwolf: Well, they did, but it was at Liberty or Regent and, well, CHRISTIAN statistics classes are a LITTLE different than secular…if you know what I mean.
This world is full of crashing bores.
Gopherit: Ummm…it’s a “giving” vs. “receiving” thing. Squirters not withstanding of course.
Ironically, my favorite song from that album is “I Have Forgiven Jesus.”
Gopherit: Did you ever get food poisoning from a fish taco? Just doesn’t because it don’t go boom don’t mean it cain’t kill you.
One of my favorite (read: most hated) arguments made by these fuckers is that “loss of faith” in Judeo-Christian belief systems is the cause of a rise (nonexistent, at that) in crime and murder. The implication is that way back in the day, the Jews had a brilliant, original idea: “Maybe we shouldn’t just roll around killing other human beings all the time.” (they followed up this realization by purging Canaan, but whatever). Therefore, if people don’t believe in (Judeo-Christian) God, they become Satanic pothead rapist killing machines.
When I was living in Oklahoma, a lot of people believed that because I was agnostic (they kept saying atheist) I just didn’t have any morals. I soon came to realize that a lot ( to be fair, not all, or even most) of those Jesus peoples refrained from things like theft, murder, rape, adultery and other miscellanea, because Jeebus would cry, and maybe smite them, if they didn’t behave. Me, I always thought that “not being a complete fucking asshole” was a pretty good reason not to do these things.
“It most certainly is not my intention to blame the epidemic of mass murders on the gay rights movement! Which is why I wrote an article entitled: Connecting the Dots: The Link Between Gay Marriage and Mass Murders.”
I see how this works now.
Neither was it my intention to suggest that all fundie Xtians are massive morons when I wrote an article entitled: Connecting the Dweebs: All Fundie Xtians Are Massive Morons.
Hey. This is fun. Wheeeee.
Ken Layne: I LOVE Leonard, I really do. He’s the sexiest septuagenarian I know. But truly, the only way I could find pleasure in hearing his voice would be to have him whispering all those beautiful and haunting lyrics of his directly and tenderly into my ear.
Gopherit: When can we get a weapon that looks like a vagina?
Where is Hillary Clinton when we need her?
tunamelt: I love xkcd, and that one strip in particular is a recent favorite. Also their forums are geek heaven (though I’ve avoided participating b/c I already stay up too late.)
i think garbage said it best, “sex is not the enemy”. these aren’t crazy gay mass murders, it’s just another christian crusade to take back the americas….like they did when they forced native americans to convert. microtrends.
Cape Clod: Hmmm, I always thought the point of Morrissey songs was to make you want to kill yourself.
randomsausage: Win!
Um, not to belabour the obvious, but what religion were the latest rash of gun-nut mass killers?
Wouldn’t have been, say, Christian, by any chance?
Not to suggest that there’s any cause-effect relationship between narrow-minded religious bigotry and acting on those beliefs.
Cape Clod: Strangeways here you come. But I think you have misinterpreted him - you are supposed to want to kill yourself, not others.
Jesus leads to the Jesus Goblins who lead to bigotry, self-righteousness, greed, and George Bush.
Gay/Lesbian marriage leads to . . . marriage?
Gopherit: HALP!
Why is it so hard for these assholes to understand that correlation does not equal causation?
Ken Layne: Yeah, but where can you get a conceal-carry license for a sarlac?
Gopherit: Vagina’s more of a weapon of mass destruction than it is a pistol.
Is “gay marriage” code for “Glenn Beck”? Because he, and he alone, is to blame for all of this.
Blame it on the Nazi!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kofIN80jvtI
Jesus hates America? Who knew?
I miss good ol’ Christian America - like that one time all those Christians got together at Gettysburg and shot cannons at each other. That was effing awesome!
Why are authorities overlooking the obvious connect to mass murderers and SuperCuts? I think Jiverly Voong got teh brain damage from the Flo-Bee.
Ken Layne: I do think the Meat is Murder cover was more appropriate.
randomsausage: Dammit.
Gopherit:
The women’s genatalias is not “outie” sparing them from the “inadequacies.” So, never.
I’m just glad the latest round of springtime mass killers didn’t hit anyone I know. Selfish? Sure. However the suckitude of having your friends mowed down by some right-wing asshole lasts a lifetime.
animalmagnetism: Some of them droop. They have surgery for this.
animalmagnetism: Although I hate the accusations that I’m shallow.
Yesterday: nom, nom, nom
Today: mim, mim, mim
When did the Right outsource their acronyms to a day care center?
Itsjustme: Their vagina haz a sad?
Custerwolf: so does anyone coming in contact with it, I suppose.
sevenrepeat: it’s just another christian crusade to take back the americas
…by murdering their wives, children and co-workers.
animalmagnetism: Spoken like someone spared the horror of a tigina.
“It is my intention to point out that the success of the sexual revolution is inversely proportional to the decline in morality; and it is the decline of morality (and the faith that so often under girds it) that is the underlying cause of our modern day epidemic of mass murders.”
American Network television has made sure that our virgin eyes will never see a nipple or a same-sex kiss while showing us the most lurid graphic violence imaginable. But it’s the sexual revolution that has promoted violence. Riiiiiiiiiight….
Mines’ more like a Chinese finger-trap.
I’m just sayin.
Shouldn’t all of these killings be in Iowa now?
Come here a minute: I think this was his tacit endorsement for Sheryl Swoopes for President.
Zadig:
“Me, I always thought that “not being a complete fucking asshole” was a pretty good reason not to do these things.”
That will now be my response when the ass hole BACs claim if it wasn’t for the bible we would have no laws.
Custerwolf: It doesn’t let you go unless you push first?
Since when is gay marriage part of the sexual revolution? More like a backlash against it by aging queers who have decided that, really, cruising is just too cruel a mistress after 30. And, of course, something for lesbians to do on the second date.
flyingspaghettimonster: Amen!
You FSM devotees sure know how to pastalytize.
Zadig: You get the picture.
flyingspaghettimonster: “the success of the sexual revolution is …the underlying cause of our …epidemic of mass murders.”
Wow. I never realized the sexual revolution pre-dated the Crusades.
Gopherit: Beartrap. Not so much a weapon per se, but it can definitely do some damage. Resembles a gigantic, mechanical snapping pussy.
How did this obvious closet case live in NYC for 30 years and still have such a tight ass?
Wait, am I supposed to send Moz my teabags now?
“For many citizens, what has replaced Judeo-Christian faith and values is the secular value system that is reflected in films, rap/music lyrics, and videogames [...]”
Apart from the obvious shot to rap, his implication that secular values are derived from media is amusing, at first. It’s maddening later on, though, because I live morally in spite of Christianity. I kept some of what I was taught as a child in the church, but I threw some of it off during the learning and growing years.
I wish to know more spiritual atheists and moral questioners.
Best Buttsecks lyrics in a song ever, from Mozza natch:
—
I entered nothing, and nothing entered me
‘Til you came with the key
And you did your best but…
–
Chickensmack: “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo” ~ H.G.Wells
Mr. Peters: The rise in Global Warming. The rise in gay homosexuality. Think about it.
Chickensmack: As I said earlier, secular values derive from not being an utter cock to other people. The whole “treat others as you want to be treated, unless you are a masochist” thing.
So has anyone read Oregon’s statute regarding poo partcles?
If the success of the sexual revolution is inversely proportional to the decline in morality, doesn’t that mean that the more morality declines, the less successful the sexual revolution is?
Head hurts.
Is there anything they can’t blame on gays?
Wait, for YEARS they’ve been telling us all these crimes were due to legalized abortion. Get your story straight, people.
I find it very amusing to hear the “sexual revolution” held up as a reason for something that happened in the last ten years, given that said revolution is responsible for a lot of my younger colleagues.
If serial mass murder was good enough for Jehovah, it’s good enough for me.
Oh for fuck’ sake!
think abortion, divorce, pornography, rape, sexual abuse of children, sexually transmitted diseases, trafficking in women and children, unwed teen mothers
how can abortion, divorce, and unwed teen mothers be a result of teh gays? Honestly.
I’ll grant him the porn, rape, child abuse and trafficking- I mean was self- respecting hetero male would- oh, wait.
Mr. Blow and Mr. Peters … heeheehee
“It is my intention to point out that the success of the sexual revolution is inversely proportional to the decline in morality.” Congratulations, Wonketteers! Because this fuckwit doesn’t know what “inverse” means, you can all resume your mass furry orgies. Deviant sex: It’s GOOD for traditional morality!
It’s amazing how the vaunted “decline in morality” mentioned on these websites is always about Teh Gheys and never about Teh Greedy Bastards.
No. This guy is absolutely right!
Gay Marriage is the problem….NOT ENOUGH GAY MARRIAGES
If these nuts had to spend all their time exfoliating, coordinating wardrobes, and planning brunches, they wouldn’t have time to be out shooting other people.
Gay Marriage….the cause of, and the solution to, all our problems
Gopherit: a bear trap can be used as a weapon?
Gopherit: gun people are already terrified of vag, they wouldn’t have it in them to touch one that was loaded.
Custerwolf: you only date the chinese?
cranky: Actually, I’ve never had Chinese, but rumor has it an hour after having sex with them, you’re horny again.
Dear Wingnuts,
Thanks for moving on.
Signed,
Rap Music
Dear Rap Music,
You are still on the hook for Gay Marriage.
Signed,
Wingnuts
TimeCubist: Yes, or conversely (I incorrectly impute causation), a successful sexual revolution increases morality.
BUTTSECKS!!!
Canuckledragger: no… of course not… only a INSANE IMMORAL JESUS-HATING GODLESS HEATHEN would even suggest such a silly thing…
Ken Layne: Yes, I remember those days fondly… I used to listen to Morrissey on the Victrola while walking barefoot to school ten miles each day. Uphill both ways.