Wonkette
- OF COURSE HER NAME IS ‘BETTY BROWN’: “The Texas Democratic Party demanded an apology Wednesday from state Rep. Betty Brown, R-Terrell for suggesting Asian-descent voters should adopt names that are ‘easier for Americans to deal with.’” Soon everybody in Terrell will have comically implausible names like “Sara Smith.” [Houston Chronicle]
…so I’m guessing she has issue pronouncing Bonquiqui?!
Citizens of Terrell to be renamed by Stan Lee.
Texas = Awesome
“His first name was Amal and then the symbol for boron.”
I guess she got tired of being called “Betty Blown.”
If they don’t change they’re names, we’ll all have to learn CHINESE! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!11!!
…she want them to be like those customer services reps, that claim that their names are “John” or “Sara” or “Mike” but have an Indian accent so thick, you have to ask them to repeat every other word just to get your fukking warranty honored!!!!
great comments over there.
Totally agree. Toby, for example, is so much easier to remember than Kunta Kinte.
So many of my East-Texas in-laws already have such a hard time with the English language. What comical utterances will they make when when they attempt the pronunciation of Asian names?
Godot: …you are now named “Jason Storm” but your arch enemies know you as “Eviscerator”!!!
Like Seymour Buttz? Ima Hogg? Mike Hunt?
Translation: ‘If you’re Asian and yer name ain’t Bruce Lee, it’s too hard. Start over.’
Irreducibility should be left to mathematics. Apparently, she never heard Tom Lehrer speak about his friend “Hen3ry”. If she’d heard this bit prior to opening her yap, maybe she’d think Chinese isn’t so complex after all.
Yes, it’s hard for Betty to understand names like Phuck Yu.
Hey, I met a Chinese guy whose name was Miguel Gonzalez. He explained that he was standing in line at Immigration and when the guy in front of him was asked his name, he said, “Miguel Gonzalez.” Then it was the Chinese guy’s turn, and when the bored ICE guy asked him his name, he said, “Sam Ting.”
I’m with Betty on this one. Every Asian-American kid I know is named like, Mike, John, Kim, or Jennifer. They need proper modern suburban white names like Brandon, Taylor, Courtney, and Ashton, dammit.
BillyClubb: Yeah, no one really addresses the complexity of English in this story. As an extra special “WTF”, remember that Chinese is referred as “simplified” nowadays.
BillyClubb:
In the rural area I grew up in, I was usually known to the old bitters as the “Asian Boy” or Bruce Lee’s cousin. The irony was that my parents anglicized my Korean name to help me fit in.
Tags=cold bangin’ hysterical…
ChernobylSoup: Melaniegh, Breighannonne, and Loreenamckennitt…
ChernobylSoup: Don’t leave out other classics such as Chelsea, Tiffany, Logan, or Brantley.
Would “George Bush” be allowed?
ChernobylSoup: More like Tripp, Trigg, Bristol . . .
ChernobylSoup: …don’t forget Bristol, Trigg, Trapp, Piper and Levi!
Chickensmack: ChernobylSoup: BillyClubb:
Tripp? Trigg? Track?
My Chinese name is Tian Chu, my American name is “My Fucking Relatives Own All Your Debt So Fuck Off Ms. Brown” Call me Peter for short.
Chickensmack: BillyClubb: ChernobylSoup: …I cant believe you guys left out Chad and Austin!!!
I do recall a similar uproar when a State Senator from Detroit suggested that all residents should use their Wu-Tang name for official documents.
BigDupa: ftw!
AngryBlakGuy: call it a tie.
IF AMERICAN NAMES WERE GOOD ENOUGH FOR JESUS, THEY SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM ASIANISTS!!!!11!1
shanemacgowan: …agreed!
You know, I’ve always had trouble wrapping my tongue around a name like Serolf.
I demand he change it to something like David.
shanemacgowan: …dibs on RZA(and if that is taken U-God)!
my rooskie great grandfather changed his last name when he got here to blend in. why can’t the orientals do the same?
Huh. Every Asian person I know is already named Amanda or John or Heather. Weird. And I’m in Texas, just like this twatwaffle. Need to go look at her pic now. Why does her name make me think of an old 70s southern rock song? Ah, BLACK Betty! That’s it! Right? Who did that song?
AngryBlakGuy: Don’t get started on the D’Chante’s and the Jermajesty’s of the U.S. or we’ll be here all night.
Well, if you’ve ever been to or through Terrell, TX, you can understand the good state reps confusion with Asian names. It’s a poor, hardscrabble, ignorant hick outpost in east TX. There ain’t any Asians that live there because, well, Asians are … too smart to live there. Blacks live there (who are all called ‘boy’ or ‘girl’) because they’re too poor to get out & whites live there because they’re too stupid to want to get out. The highlight of any evening in Terrell is probably the back yard dog or chicken fights the overalled rednecks hopped up on Skoal & MadDog scrounge up. Also.
“Betty Brown” and “Sara Smith” are also foriegn names, from the country with the people with bad teeth and drink tea and shit. Just sayin’.
badmuthagoose: RamJam, I think.
God damn, people. Asian names aren’t that hard. Most non-Romance languages spell phonetically, so you just have to remember how things are pronounced in those languages. It wouldn’t even take five minutes to remember how to pronounce all Korean names ever. As opposed to the white dude whose last name you read off as “Anus” and he’s all “no, it’s ‘ah-noose,’ actually” and I’m all ‘fuck you, it’s Anus.
I will say, however, that I do enjoy watching my fellow whiteys struggle with Japanese names, which have the easiest romanization ever. They assume that since it’s foreign, they can’t possibly be pronounced like it looks.
ManchuCandidate: Dang, bro. You’re Bruce Lee’s cousin? I bet you got all the white tail you could handle!
And I’m not talking about Canadian deer.
I predict a “Richard Cohen” column remembering how all Chinese guys were named Charlie Chan.
ChernobylSoup: Ram Jam did the ’70s version, which is based on a tune written by Leadbelly.
I knew being a music geek would come in handy one day.
NoWireHangers: Retract, dude. Everyone instinctively knows how to pronounce Jermajesty.
Anyway, I decided long ago to give my child the first name “Senator.” The next, of course, would be “Special Agent” or ‘Special’ for short.
And another thing, why do y’all eat with sticks? Is eating with forks too much to ask? And while we’re at it, those eyes and skin color…..Jesus doesn’t approve.
i’m guessing my asian drag name “sum yung guy hung solo” wouldn’t go over well.
I went to college with a Korean guy named Suk Yung Ham. Let me tell you something, Ms Brown, that is one name you never forget.
Someone needs to trim Texas’ Brown fat.
WhatTheHeck: I’m sure he won’t mind if you wrap your tongue around him.
Thank you! I’m here all week!
Lascauxcaveman:
Strangely no. I sucked playing hockey (could skate, but couldn’t shoot) so the puck bunnies hung out with kids who could stick handle.
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!:
I got you a job! At Webster, Webster, & COHEN!
Gopherit: Nor Kareemov Somyung Guy.
badmuthagoose: That would be Ram Jam .
(I had to look it up. No, I don’t remember their other big #1 smash hits)
There’s a Vietnamese guy at my 7-11 named Charlie. He doesn’t think it’s as funny as I do.
Zadig: You’re too late:
Otieno named her baby “Senator Barack Obama Otieno”…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/21/obama-babies-post-inaugur_n_159722.html
AngryBlakGuy: A non-alliterative name? That doesn’t sound like something that would come from the House of Ideas!
ManchuCandidate: Stick handle?
You Canadians are a hoot.
AngryBlakGuy: A Wu name would not work for me. I’ll have to use my porn name, Phil McKrackens.
smashtheduck: I have a Korean friend named Wilma.
I’ve also got a friend with a razor sharp sense of humor who’s name is Barb Dwyer.
No I don’t.
Me no rikey the lacist rady!
SamNotJoe Wurlzerbacher ALSO had his misspelled on the voter rolls and would not have been able to vote under these rules. Damn middle Europeans and their ferren names making hard work for those republicans tasked with doing a simple bookkeeping job. By the way, don’t ids have NUMBERS on them specifically to deal with this issue? Or is Ms. Brown dyslexic as well as tone deaf?
Man to poll worker: “Yes it is spell ‘Yatch,’ but it is pronounced ‘Throatwarbbler-Mangrove.’”
Good plan. Get likely Democrats to provide comically fake names when they come to vote so they can be more easily identified and turned away from the polling places.
“Your name is Sam Fransico? Nope, don’t see that anywhere on the registration list. That reminds me. I need to get my shirts done.”
NoWireHangers: FUCK!
Well, there’s always “Lord Alchemist”
Real American names like Suri, Shiloh, Moon Unit, Apple, Rumer or Scout. I was going to make a Trig and Trip joke, but, well, you gotta be on your toes around here, apparently.
She just meant that some people should adopt a nickname signifying their true selves. Like Betty ‘Anal’ Brown.
As for ‘SKS’, the ‘K’ is for ‘Kismet’!
Careful, or the Republicans will retaliate by demanding that either Kal Penn change his name back or that he be deported back to Montclair, New Jersey.
Oh, yeah, I just called her office. They are sticking fast to the “This is all just to eliminate voter fraud” message. Given that there has never been even an alleged case of actual, personal voter fraud in Texas? Yeah, draw your own conclusions.
And hey, if you’re a Texas voter? Call up! It’ll be fun!
She has a point. I mean, that one Asian spokesdude’s last name is Ko. How the hell is an American supposed to try to pronounce THAT tongue-twister?
Oh if only the Orientals would have more “American” names like Rod Blagojevich, or Samuel Wurzelbacher or Arnold Schwarzeneggar that are easier to pronounce and spell.
I was 10 years old before I could spell my own last name.By then I had narrowed down how to pronounce it to just a couple of ways. And it was simplified when my Grandpa entered the country. & and then some clicks is hard work for an American girl.
Lazy Media: You’d think Texans would prefer monosyllabic names.
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn’t leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze
Now, I don’t blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me Soo
I, for one, wish I was Korean simply to get the bad-ass names.
Custerwolf: Fabulous. I still think hippies are responsible for the most child-abuse by shitty names. I had a friend named “Tender Love” when I was a kid. I’m guessing she’s stripper now.
102415: Are you of Polish descent? My personal banker’s surname is “Szczepczynski.”
It sounds so easy when she says it.
Lascauxcaveman: A brutal training regimen was required in kindergarten for her to remember pronunciation and spelling. Like Full Metal Jacket, but the DI uses your family name as a pejorative.
There was a drag diva here in SF a number of years back who called herself Penis Brown Betty.
Koinkidence?
My landlord’s granddaughter was named ‘Lily White.’ That’s way more bizarre than ‘Dung Trinh’ (which I believe is pronounced Yume Ching?).
Zadig: Hmmm. Maybe not so much. But her husband, perhaps…
Lascauxcaveman: shep-chin-skee?
Me thinks Ms. Brown needs a Wang Phuc.
Bitch is crazy! However, there’s a lot to be said for having Phat Ho and Phuc Ngo and Dung Hiep stricken from the public record. I can say this because I’m Asian-American and any unreasonable comment made by myself pertaining to my demographic must be taken as fact despite my narrow world view.
Is this THEEE Betty Brown , the Annie Sprinkles of scat sexxing??
Lascauxcaveman: Sorry I didn’t assume that she was married and took her husband’s name, YOU SEX1ST!
Kidding, of course. I should have realized giving any potential offspring that name as part of a hyphen-surname would just be mean.
And taller. Them Asiakans need to be a lot taller so they can’t look up the skirts of white women. And less smarter too, all that studyin and gettin good grades from liberal teachers. ACORN voter fraud is what it is. Don’t do somethin about them names, tho, and we will end up with some kookie leftist name as president of the Other 49.
Hey, if it’s good enough for PIYUSH, it’s good enough for me.
Oh, she’s just mad because she’s going bald.
http://www.house.state.tx.us/members/dist4/brown.php
“Betty Brown” is just her porn-name…
As an East Texan who just changed to a completely unpronounceable Chinese last name with no vowels, I can officially say that my previous, white, “All-Amur’can” last name was slaughtered far more frequently.
Baconbits: Also, said lily-white name was a bonus question on spelling tests for at least three 3rd grade classes that I’m aware of.
Betty Brown is all full of herself cause a dessert is named after her.
Don’t all them Texans have like two or three first names like Betty Sue, Mabelynn Tanqueray, Liz Beth Petunia, and the like?
Then Sue Chang should be as easy as pie.
She used to be Betty White before her district was integrated.
Bah. There are a total of, like, 15 Chinese surnames that get used with any regularity. Not hard to learn. On a side note, I’m always bummed when I’m poised to meet up with some guy whose last name is Lee and he turns out to be white. I only do the Asian dudes, and that’s just one less fuckable person.
AnnieGetYourFun:
Why hello there…I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure…
As long as we are making request of “Asian Americans” through some guy, can we ask them to chill out on the whole “overachieving in math/science/engineering” thingy? That would be so much easier than, you know, all of us “getting smarter.” As I understand it, that is difficult.
hobospacejunkie: Pretty close, actually.
arclight: Betty Brown looks like she hasn’t had a vag full of jizz since about 1950, if ever. It ain’t gay marriage making people kill, it’s not getting laid that has ‘em all het up.
AnnieGetYourFun: I only do the Asian dudes, and that’s just one less fuckable person.
Dang! I can’t believe all the time I’ve wasted flirting with you, and all for naught? Does it count if I could pass for native American, in my end-of-summer-tan?
Saxby Chambliss…
hobospacejunkie: If I find some in the Medical Waste HAZMAT bin, she can have a vag full of that!
Bearbloke: magically delicious!
If you’ve seen a pic of Betty low-BROWN she has some serious Australopithi-can’t primordial beauty goin on…..burp!
But seriously for a sec…..”easier for Americans to deal with”. Can’t stop laughing at that.
You might as well say…
Can you make me less dumb?
Once a name has a ng, or a ong, or a few more consonants than I can grasp I curl up and cry!
Furr-ners are just so much work…baby pout, baby pout….
Grasp the racism in all it’s frosty chill hate-full goodness!!!!!
Thanks Bett-eh! You make all-Uh_merichuns proud!
Didn’t Rick Perry declare independence today? Sayeth the new President of TX: “I believe that our federal government has become oppressive…Where are you gonna stand? …with the people of this state who understand the importance of states’ rights.”
So Betty, you’re now free to advocate for establishment of the Apartheid Union of Texas, complete with homelands an’ all. Enjoy.