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Wingnuts Angry That Obama Didn’t Suck Off Saudi King, Like Bush Always Did

Faggots.Oh noes the wingnuts are very, very upset! Why? This street negro, Barack Obama, allegedly kowtowed to the Saudi King while meeting said Saudi King at the G-20. (The White House says, “Uhh, Obama is a lot taller than that old dwarf, so he bent down to look at him.”) It is shameful for an American president to politely bow one’s head while being presented to a Saudi Prince/King. You are supposed to smooch him up and hold his hand and walk him around your ranch and then give him a loving blowjob, like George W. Bush Junior always did! Let’s remember the good times, together.

We'll have a gay old time!See, black people nod politely to the Royal Head of State Monarch, while white people romantically caress the fat old dude’s hand — foreplay, it is called — and then robustly lick his ass for a few hours.

And then you just get in close with that Grecian-formula goatee and jam that tongue in there, old school:
Just For Men.
Thanks, Wingnuts! Without you people, American might’ve forgotten the proper way for an American president to deal with the Arab Monach: just cold suck on his peter.


6:51 PM on Wed April 8 2009
By Ken Layne
20262 Views

  1. Scandinavian Fetus says at 6:53 pm, April 8th, 2009

    The Saudis wore towels on their heads to clean up after the sycophantish behavior of the Bush family.

    I just threw up in my mouth.

  2. sevenrepeat says at 6:54 pm, April 8th, 2009

    these pics are turning me on. is this bad?

  3. chascates says at 6:54 pm, April 8th, 2009

    So when John Travolta kisses a guy he’s actually pretending to be a Saudi royal? And no queen jokes, please.

  4. DagNabbit says at 6:55 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Sand Quigger!

  5. LittlePig says at 6:55 pm, April 8th, 2009

    I wonder how long it will be before Georgie gay marries Prince Bandar?

  6. comradepaulson says at 6:56 pm, April 8th, 2009

    And when Bush touches the Saudi King, he feels happy, inside. It’s such a feeling that my love… he can’t hide… he can’t hide… he can’t hide…

  7. Ken Layne says at 6:57 pm, April 8th, 2009

    LittlePig: That was Crown Prince “of Bel Air” Abudullah in these famous love photos. Bandar Bush is standing next to Condi in the last pic.

  8. KingofQueenAnne says at 6:58 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Shame on Wonkette for pointing out the mindblowingly obvious and depriving patriotic Americans their basic fundamental right of rewriting history when convenient.

  9. sevenrepeat: I’d rather see Obama.

    Preferably with Rahm instead of the Saudi whatsit.

    And preferably naked.

  10. LittlePig says at 6:59 pm, April 8th, 2009

    And BTW, Mr. Layne, between the loving blowjobs, robust ass-licking, old school tongue-jamming and cold peter sucking, my sides hurt from laughing.

  11. I’m not sure what it was, but he didn’t take a knee or kiss the hem of the king’s dress, so I’m giving Barry a pass.

  12. Texan Bulldoggette says at 7:00 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Mind you, I’m not defending Georgie, but as a long-living Texas (not FROM here, though), I know Georgie is about to shit his britches the whole time they’re holding hands. He’s thinking, ‘oh gawd, there are cameras & teevee people here, SHIT!’ Good Texas men do NOT hold hands with or kiss other men (doesn’t matter if they’re wearing a skirt or not).

  13. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 7:00 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Where is Bush’s birth certificate?

  14. Neilist says at 7:02 pm, April 8th, 2009

    You Anti-Gun Weenies would be CRYING for a weapon if a crazed Saudi suddenly tried to hijack your plane.

    Or tried to french kiss you in a parking lot.

    Same thing, really.

    “Goddamnit, where’s my Glock. There’s a pansy-ass wog wearing a dishtowel who’s trying to shove his tongue down the throat of the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES!!!!!”

  15. Rascalcat says at 7:03 pm, April 8th, 2009

    That’s freaking awesome!

    Too bad the MSM doesn’t have the courage to point out this kind of conservative hypocrisy.

    “Angry Obama did not SO Saudi King” That’s hysterical! Keep up the great stuff, Ken!

  16. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 7:04 pm, April 8th, 2009

    you’re comparing apples with oranges. Bush was a top.

  17. LittlePig says at 7:05 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: I guess that why George is only at half mast in that second picture.

    Please. George went to Bendover, I mean Andover. This ain’t his first gay rodeo.

  18. Neilist says at 7:06 pm, April 8th, 2009

    And who could forget the lines from the biopic about Bush’s heroic Vietnam tour:

    George Herbert Walker Bush: Bandar, if you untie me, I will literally suck your dick, right now.
    His Excellency, the Saudi Ambassador to the United States of America: Man, I told you for the last time, I love tha pussy!
    The 43rd President of the United States: I’ll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let’s do this.

  19. comradepaulson says at 7:06 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Canmon (the Inadequate): He went through Barbara Bush’s twat. You get therapy, not a certificate, for that.

  20. 102415 says at 7:07 pm, April 8th, 2009

    http://gothamist.com/2009/04/08/video_segway_puma_in_action_1.php OT, Puma cars I’m not kidding.GM is toast don’t they go into the interwebs and check the names?I’m sticking with the Tata and the Edsel.

  21. Custerwolf says at 7:09 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Neilist: Hey Dipshit - you forgot to capitalize French.

  22. pat robertsons personal trainer says at 7:10 pm, April 8th, 2009

    I love the look Bandar and Condi are giving each other. It’s like the ex-girlfriends club of G.W.Bush looking on in disgust as their man sticks his tongue down the throat of a benevolent dictator who used to fuck his old man in the ass. with delicious petroleum based products. also.

  23. prophet1195 says at 7:11 pm, April 8th, 2009

    It’s “goat-cheese” smelling peter. Bush wouldn’t suck it, otherwise.

  24. SayItWithWookies says at 7:12 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Canmon (the Inadequate): No, Laura’s the top. Because Dubya only knows how to fuck up.

  25. Custerwolf says at 7:15 pm, April 8th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: ….and go down.

  26. Custerwolf: He also forgot to not act like a complete douche, in general.

  27. picyou says at 7:24 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Matt Drudge (not his father Bob, whose website is superior to sonny-boy’s) is making a big deal about this bowing thing. Matt’s going to do whatever it takes to get into Ann Coulter’s saggy panties.

  28. pat robertsons personal trainer says at 7:33 pm, April 8th, 2009

    picyou: he’ll disappointed when he finds out “her” dick is bigger than his.

  29. rambone says at 7:35 pm, April 8th, 2009

    picyou: I was going question how that was possible, what with all the ghey rumors, but then I remembered that there was no inconsistency as we’re talking about Coulter.

  30. chascates says at 7:38 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Hey, didn’t Obama bow to Queen Elizabeth? Isn’t that considered proper form? And we fought their damned asses TWICE and saved their butts in world wars TWICE!
    And since George Herbert Walker Bush referred to Bandar as ‘Bandar Bush’ I don’t think a little example of diplomatic protocol is untoward.
    Even though the al Saud family is one of the most corrupt, greedy, licentious, and criminal families to have walked this earth.

  31. Neilist says at 7:39 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Custerwolf: “Dipshit”?

    Oh, dear.

    And BTW: The adjective in “French kiss” need not be capitalized, in the same way that the equivalent adjective in “french letter” need not be capitalized.

    (I trust you know to what a “french letter” refers? It’s the thing your father and mother wish they had used on the night you were (mis)conceived.)

    Zadig: I’ll have to defer to your obvious expertise in “douches,” complete or otherwise.

    But a word to the wise: Don’t mention that subject around “Custerwolf.” It’s not “more Indians about which she is worried.

    (”Damnit, General! Where did all these yeast infections come from?

    “Never mind, Private! Just KEEP FIRING!”)

  32. Custerwolf says at 7:44 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Neilist: Yet you insist upon capitalizing Weenie? Nice try, junior. You’re lamer than my 3-legged Bloodhound.

  33. AngryBlakGuy says at 7:44 pm, April 8th, 2009

    …lets see what we have here:

    -Blowjobs (check!)
    -Robustly licking ass (check!)
    -Tongue jamming (check!)
    -Cold peter sucking (check!)

    Unfortunatley Ken, it appears that you left out both “Ball licking” and “Jizz Gargling”! I expect better work from you Mr. Layne!

  34. NoWireHangers says at 7:46 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Ken, you should have tagged this post “Cold Suckin’”

  35. qwerty42 says at 7:49 pm, April 8th, 2009

    The endless hysterics the wingnuts throw themselves into is … wearying. How can they keep up the level of their ongoing frenzy? It has to be drugs. But which? Meth? coke? booze? The delusional aspects of all this as well as the paranoia have to be considered.

  36. IceCreamEmpress says at 7:51 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Nobody else made a “teabagging” joke yet?

  37. Uncle Glenny says at 7:52 pm, April 8th, 2009

    AngryBlakGuy: Teabagging?

  38. Keram2 says at 7:52 pm, April 8th, 2009

    …just cold suck on his peter.

    This semi-new “cold [insert verb here] construction is awesome. Very achewood. I love it.

  39. PsycGirl says at 7:53 pm, April 8th, 2009

    pat robertsons personal trainer: or maybe he won’t be disappointed at all.

  40. FrJack says at 7:54 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Is there any proof that this is Obama? I saw when Obama stepped off the riser after the photo shoot and he looked to be about 6″ taller than Abdullah. But that 1 second video that I got to see, with “Obama” mostly obscured as he approached Abdullah, made “Obama” look at least a foot taller. He also looks like he’s got the girth of Ed “Too Tall” Jones. Do we really know for sure that this was Obama?

  41. Gopherit says at 7:57 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Ken, please angry-drunk post more often. Beautiful.

  42. shortsshortsshorts says at 7:59 pm, April 8th, 2009

    SAUDI ARABIA ROCKS!
    GO SAUDI ARABIA! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
    i con haz cheap oil?

  43. Mustang says at 8:02 pm, April 8th, 2009

    thanks wonkette for fighting the good fight. jeez this shit. gotta keep after it like rush, but with the internets.

  44. Keram2: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05222003 is the appropriate comic, I think.

  45. Bearbloke says at 8:04 pm, April 8th, 2009
  46. Atheist Nun says at 8:09 pm, April 8th, 2009

    For anyone having trouble visualizing that Saudi guy’s tounge actually going down Bush’s throat:

    http://blingee.com/blingee/view/88024591-BUSH-LUVS-SAUDIS

  47. Bearbloke says at 8:10 pm, April 8th, 2009

    LittlePig: I’ll admit it - I’d do Bandar, but only if I can give him a Tony Danza, and not have to call him ‘Prince’…

  48. Bearbloke says at 8:23 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Keram2: Showing my age here… but the slang construction “cold [insert verb gerund here]“ is about as “semi-new” as roller-disco, and almost as current…

  49. DustBowlBlues says at 8:23 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Anyone see Frontline last night? I did. Not feeling much love for these women-torturing dip shits. Americans would sell their youngest child to a whorehouse if it meant cheap oil. We just shove the gas pump into our arms and mainline that shit.

  50. grevillea says at 8:24 pm, April 8th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: I was gonna say, at least it’s not the Emir of Dubai, but meh what’s the difference?

  51. thebaker says at 8:29 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Keram2: my favorite was “cold banging crazy chicks”

  52. Will work for shoes says at 8:31 pm, April 8th, 2009

    AxmxZ: I agree. But maybe we can alternate Rahm and David Plouffe to keep things fresh? Or, Peter Orszag?! Pretty please?

  53. thebaker says at 8:32 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Bearbloke: i do remember “cold chillin”

  54. Scandinavian Fetus says at 8:36 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Ken,
    For the love of a meth-addicted crack whore, can we move on to some more interesting, esoteric topics?

  55. Custerwolf says at 8:40 pm, April 8th, 2009

    thebaker: My fave is cold stone creamery.
    What?

  56. Custerwolf says at 8:41 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Scandinavian Fetus: Or at least photoshop some nice place settings onto those dude’s heads.

  57. Custerwolf says at 8:42 pm, April 8th, 2009

    By the way, what is UP with that Marlo Thomas wig Condi’s sporting?

  58. Scandinavian Fetus says at 8:46 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Yeah, no shit! I have been reading 3-week-old golf articles on MSNBC I am so bored.

    I hate golf to the point that I would be willing to become a 38-year old Castrati and sing Mozart’s Requiem with the fucking Vienna Boys’ Choir rather than watch golf.

    Oh, the Teletubbies are on. Never mind, Ken.

  59. Custerwolf says at 9:02 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Scandinavian Fetus: Oh jesus the tubbies! Now there’s a controversial and colorful clique of make-believes. Wingnuts shit themselves because one of the imaginary creatures carries a purse (filled with condoms and lube, they figure), yet nary a whisper do they make while Po gleefully strokes her “cooter.”

  60. Scandinavian Fetus says at 9:04 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Now, we are back on track! Thank you Custerwolf.

    Cancel new prompts, Ken.

  61. AWOcoholic says at 9:19 pm, April 8th, 2009

    We are all subjects of the Saudi King now.

    I fucking love the new “Just cold *blank*ing, etc.” line. I laugh every time.

  62. Custerwolf says at 9:30 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Scandinavian Fetus: If you’re as tasty as gjetost, I’d have to beg you for a slice.

  63. Bearbloke says at 9:36 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Custerwolf: ah, Gjetost - de-f*ckin’-licious… I wish I had some to go with my breakfast right here. Srsly, Wonketteers, go get some and try it!

  64. ushutyurmouthwhenurtalkintome says at 9:37 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Do you see Condi lookin at that other guy like, “ya, you wanna make it a foursome daddy?”

  65. Scandinavian Fetus says at 9:43 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Custerwolf: For the love of an immaculately-conceived, Bethlehamian carpenter, I feel like Lady MacBeth.

    I cannot get clean after that comment.

  66. carameltoe says at 9:44 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Atheist Nun: I bow to your Blingee greatness.

  67. Tommmcatt says at 9:46 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Bearbloke:

    Everything old is new again, except, apparently, Variety Shows, which still suck.

  68. Scandinavian Fetus says at 9:48 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Holy Custerwolf: Bearbloke: Holy fucking shit!

    Where is Dateline’s Chris Hansen and his “To Catch a Predator” team when you need them?!

    I am off to Dobson’s Focus on the Family website.

  69. SayItWithWookies says at 9:48 pm, April 8th, 2009

    ushutyurmouthwhenurtalkintome: You got Condi all wrong — she’s distracting herself so she doesn’t stare longingly.

  70. Custerwolf says at 9:54 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Scandinavian Fetus: Really, I won’t bite - hard.
    Okay, no more cheesey comments.

  71. Custerwolf says at 9:56 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Scandinavian Fetus: Chris Hansen is living out his fantasy of being a child porn videographer, but of course only so far as the law will allow.

  72. shortsshortsshorts says at 10:13 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Custerwolf: You actually have a really good point there. I mean, shit. He might as well be hitting on the 18 year old coptress who lured in the beast-fucker who Hansen is VEHEMENTLY QUESTIONING, right? Some unfulfilled dreams get a conciliation prize, right?

  73. shortsshortsshorts says at 10:25 pm, April 8th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: right? right? right? right? right?
    Jesus Christ.

  74. Custerwolf says at 10:36 pm, April 8th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: Alright already.

  75. animalmagnetism says at 10:37 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Neilist: SJdoc? Is that you?

  76. Custerwolf says at 10:40 pm, April 8th, 2009

    animalmagnetism: If I hurt his feeling, tell him I’m sorry.

  77. SayItWithWookies says at 10:41 pm, April 8th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: They lit out on ya. And Custerwolf was stone cold hittin’ on that fetus, too.

  78. widestanceromancer says at 11:21 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Wait a minute, how could W suck w/o lips? Did Ken make all this up?

  79. shortsshortsshorts says at 11:32 pm, April 8th, 2009

    My site had a great troll comment that answers the question:

    “You do know that “Shining City” is a not an actual city, don’t you?

    It’s Ronald Regan’s metaphor for America, a wondrous place that can be seen for thousands of miles, and attracts people from all over the world, who want freedom and prosperity.

    Maybe you wouldn’t be so angry, if you actually understood what you were criticising.”

    God bless the trolls. I hope they come over more.

  80. Neilist says at 11:37 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Custerwolf: “3-legged Bloodhound”?

    What a terrible way to describe your Significant Other.

    And using a numeral, rather than “three,” is not proper grammatical form.

    Since you apparently are so interested in grammar.

    And “Bloodhound” shouldn’t be capitalized either — unless you were referring to the Bristol Bloodhound air-to-ground missile . . . in which case your “3-legged” comment is both nonsensical AND grammatically incorrect.

    [Those yeast infections really affect your concentration, don't they?]

    animalmagnetism: I’m not SJDoc. I’m worse. Haven’t you been paying attention?

  81. AnnieGetYourFun says at 11:39 pm, April 8th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: I love you. Blog more.

  82. Custerwolf says at 11:52 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Neilist: Why is it a terrible thing to refer to my boyfriend’s penis as a 3rd leg? You don’t get out much, do you Neils, darling? Oh - and it’s actually a recurring yeast AFFECTION that’s been bothering me - I can’t seem to stay away from the Cinnabons….mmmm!

  83. SayItWithWookies says at 11:53 pm, April 8th, 2009

    AnnieGetYourFun: Thanks sweetie — I know I’ve been slack but I’m getting back on it.

  84. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:06 am, April 9th, 2009

    ANGER. MACHINES. IMMIGRANTS. DRUG RUNNING. Hopefully they will succumb to this.

  85. Scandinavian Fetus says at 12:31 am, April 9th, 2009

    Okay,
    Reading between the lines, Custerwolf is a hemaphrodite.

    Finally, something is clear in this Dadaist universe.

    I feel so much better.

  86. Custerwolf says at 12:40 am, April 9th, 2009
  87. Custerwolf says at 12:49 am, April 9th, 2009
  88. Scandinavian Fetus says at 12:51 am, April 9th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Son of a bitch.

    Thank you for the fucking narrative puzzle.

    I hate puzzles.

    In the Chartes Cathedral, I continuously screwed up on the maze of “Pilgrim’s Progress” which means that I have a reservation for Hell.

    All that I ask is that I don’t get electronically raped by wolves or bears or anything else.

    After eight years of being raped by the mentally retarded, I can’t get any lower.

    I am tired of repeating, “The horror, the horror.”

  89. Custerwolf says at 12:53 am, April 9th, 2009

    Scandinavian Fetus: I am so stoned.

  90. Scandinavian Fetus says at 1:02 am, April 9th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Being stoned is not reassuring.

    I will be keeping my lead diaper on indefinitely while visiting this site.

    I will continue to keep a window open to Focus on the Family, too.

  91. Scandinavian Fetus says at 1:29 am, April 9th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Wow!
    In the Levi Johnston Baby Pics Story, you were lucid at 1:00 a.m.

    That is in the fucking future!

    God, I wish that I could control my trips like you do.

    Fuck! Back to a like of Calvinism.

    So long, Wonkette….you fucking posers.

  92. Gallowglass says at 2:45 am, April 9th, 2009

    Scandinavian Fetus: Calvinism? Weaksauce. Back to the Lollard heresy!

  93. VanArsdale says at 2:56 am, April 9th, 2009

    So, when Michelle Obama puts her arm around the Queen, the right wing lambasts this incredible breach of protocol; but when Obama allegedly bows to a crown prince, there is something wrong with that?

  94. Scandinavian Fetus says at 3:02 am, April 9th, 2009

    Gallowglass: Hold on. I cannot relinquish pride here.

    Lollard? The diluted, Quaker-like, atavistic throwback to Calvinism proper? Weaksauce?

    For the Love of Christ, man. I am talking about Christian fatalism. I take no prisoners.

    Hold on, is Carrot-Top still wearing his visor? Even though I am a dude, I am getting wet.

  95. mr. wunnerful says at 4:13 am, April 9th, 2009

    Hunter S. Thompson comes to mind. “f@&king shit my christ”

  96. Lazy Media says at 4:40 am, April 9th, 2009

    Everybody knows about Bush’s proclivity for rimming Saudis (learned it at papa’s knee), but he also liked to go down on another man in a dress: http://www.spirituallysmart.com/images/bush_bow.jpg

    That’s not just being polite, that is bending the American Knee to Papistry. Where is the sand in the American electorate today? Have we no lynching-ropes?

  97. Jukesgrrl says at 5:45 am, April 9th, 2009

    Between this thread and the Palin incestfest, I certainly hope David Denby logged on today.

  98. Midnightpromises says at 5:48 am, April 9th, 2009

    This blog is so lame, a bunch of in denial koolaid drinkers.
    The President of the US does NOT bow to anyone you bunch of dimfucks. And if you deny Obambo bowed then that proves you are even dumber than your comments show you to be.

  99. gurukalehuru says at 6:14 am, April 9th, 2009

    Midnightpromises: that’s cold koolaid drinking to you, pigfucker. Also.

  100. olephil says at 7:35 am, April 9th, 2009

    I am continually amused and shocked and concerned at the mindset of Obamaites. He has made you love him and his rhetoric almost as much as you hate anything and anyone (read George W. Bush) that does not belly up to the liberal hog trough of misinformation that is becoming more and more prevalent. You want green energy, but Hizzoner Chappaquidick Ted won’t let wind turbines to obstruct his front porch view. You want change, but the Obama High Command looks like Clinton redux, lacking only Monica. One good result of the election though, is the collection of all those back taxes owed by the Obama High Command. Amazing that people in such high positions can claim with a straight face that they were so ignorant of tax law that they didn’t know that their earnings were taxable. Ignorant did I say??? Reminds me of Hizzoner Back and Forth Dodd, who didn’t amend the stimulus to allow bonuses…yes he did…he’s not sure…oh, yes, I did, but Teasury made me do it. Come on libs, wake up. You have some good ideas, but you are being hijacked by a bunch of radicals. And finally, I apologize to all of you who wanted gutter sex, waste elimination, and all those expressions of the best of your thought patterns in this message. Some of us can communicate differently.

  101. AKAM80TheWolf says at 7:55 am, April 9th, 2009

    Scandinavian Fetus:

    Hey, if you don’t like it, skip the post. Nobody is forcing you to read it.

  102. iolanthe says at 7:55 am, April 9th, 2009

    Midnightpromises: You seriously don’t remember Bush bowing to King Abdullah? I do. Double standards!

  103. as the world burns says at 8:09 am, April 9th, 2009

    olephil: “And finally, I apologize to all of you who wanted gutter sex, waste elimination, and all those expressions of the best of your thought patterns in this message. ”

    do you have any idea where you are ? try reading the headline again.

    trucknutz.

  104. freakishlystrong says at 8:14 am, April 9th, 2009

    olephil: Please cold eat a bag of dicks.

  105. olephil: POO FIGHT!!!1!

  106. freakishlystrong: COLD POO FIGHT!!!1!

    Also.

  107. NoWireHangers says at 11:02 am, April 9th, 2009

    The real way to greet a foreign dignitary is with a Roman Shower. Any wingnut will attest to it. Just as HW.

  108. Temptasty says at 11:05 am, April 9th, 2009

    Obama is a brotha…he doesn’t have to bow down to the King..he is the King…Bush is an ass kisser, so we expect him to kiss ass..suck…tongue, or whatever u do when u have NO BALLS…

  109. Custerwolf says at 11:09 am, April 9th, 2009

    Midnightpromises: You’re thinking of the Denali Kool-Aid drinkers - and they live further north. Please don’t embarass yourself in front of all these people again.

  110. Custerwolf says at 11:12 am, April 9th, 2009

    olephil: “Some of us can communicate differently.”
    Talking out one’s ass is different and novel I’ll give you that, but since we weren’t talking to you in the first place, what in the fuckshitpisshell are you doing here?

  111. Temptasty says at 11:14 am, April 9th, 2009

    President Obama is the Man he doesn’t have to bow,hold hands, or kiss ass…he just needs to be President…

  112. Smart Arse says at 11:35 am, April 9th, 2009

    Forget what George and the King are doing, what’s up with the look Bandar’s giving Condi?

  113. olephil must still be reeling from the loss. Love the posts and Wonkette!

  114. smartypants says at 12:43 pm, April 9th, 2009

    olephil: Prepare to be audited.

  115. Capitol Hillbilly says at 12:58 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Nothing gets a fellow horny like a romantic stroll through the bluebonnets.

  116. Capitol Hillbilly says at 1:10 pm, April 9th, 2009

    pat robertsons personal trainer: i don’t think he’ll be disappointed at all!

  117. Mr Blifil says at 3:15 pm, April 9th, 2009

    olephil: olephil, I am working on a point by point rebuttal of your post, because this is the internets, where no thought can go unchallenged. In the interim please feel free to accept my tea bag as I stand athwart you…

  118. In Middle Eastern cultures handholding and a kiss on the cheek are acts of friendship that one peer extends to another. There is nothing sexual about that in Middle Eastern culture.

    A bow however is nearly universally a gesture of fealty and subservience (there are exceptions, in Japan for instance, but Saudi Arabia is NOT one of those exceptions). And I’m pretty sure that if I suggested that a “head nod” like that was the proper way for a black man to greet someone I would rightfully be tarred and feathered as a racist. Strangely however, I’ve been called a racist three times already today for suggesting that our first black president bowing to someone is not right.

    He was not picking something up. He was not stooping to get a better look at the guy. He was not giving a polite nod of the head. It looks for all the world like he was bowing to the guy. (And if it looks like a duck and qucks like a duck it might as well be a duck)

    The White House comes equipped with a battery of protocol and etiquette experts. Obama desperately needs to make use of them. He is embarrassing us. (And don’t use the “Bush did it too” argument. Yes he did, but it’s still the retort of a first-grader).

  119. GoogleJuice says at 5:34 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Found this early morning..laughed all day….Twittered. Made sure to reply to all the hard core conservatives on Twitter with this article. I MAY have offended a few. Thanks for the smile all day! I also stumbled and emailed to my Homies..

  120. Custerwolf says at 6:00 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Elle: As head of my first-grad class, I must tell you to go fuck yourself. I decide who embarrasses me bitch, not you.

  121. Custerwolf says at 6:02 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Custerwolf: oops, seems I dropped an ‘e,’ hold on a sec while I bend over to pick it up.

  122. TruthSayer says at 6:33 pm, April 9th, 2009

    You people are seriously intellectually challenged.

    Bush only gave the Saudi king a handjob. Our wannabe emperor Obama bent down in front of the Saudi king’s robes to suck him off. The photos prove it. He has to take it in his mouth because he still needs to buy Saudi oil and he knows that by doing this, his Muslim buddies will get all the funding they need for more terrorism.

    Obama is extremely arrogant and a total embarrassment, giving the British PM a set of DVDs that he can’t even play on his British DVD player, and the Queen an iPod with his own speeches. What an inflated ego! Obama enjoys playing at being president, ordering his helicopters and planes to fly around, taking over banks and the auto business (neither of which he or his minions know anything about). Meanwhile he has sold a sub-prime mortgage to the citizens of this country to pay for his half-assed socialist nonsense.

    Well I have enjoyed reading your posts. These pathetic postings prove that you folks will lose control of at least one side of Congress in 2010 and the presidency in 2012. Obama is only interested in power and feeding his ego and doesn’t really care about TCB. And Michelle isn’t half as good looking as Oprah. In reality Obama is just a thug from Chicago trying to get his 10 minutes of fame. Go ahead, yuk it up while you can. Meh.

    P.S. - Just in case none of you were aware, but Bush is not the president. You people stopped growing intellectually in 2000. You probably still think Gore would have been a good president. Hahahahaha.

  123. Elle: Also in middle eastern culture, only the “taker” is gay. The “giver” can remain ungay. Its kind of like the logic that pervade the Republican party’s wide stance on homosexuality

  124. Gopherit says at 6:46 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer: sigh. tl;dr. Why do we have to tell everyone of you douchebags that brevity is the soul of wit?

    Fucking idiot.

  125. ah pook says at 6:52 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer:

    Well done shitbag. You cold typed out all of the batshit crazy wingnut talking points, except TElePromTeRz, AYERS, and ACORN!1!!!11!!1!!!!

    Now, tell me how my ass taste.

  126. shanemacgowan says at 6:52 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Love the view. And the post.

  127. Help! There are sayers of truth and righteous elles in our midst! They can see we wonkers are just navel gazing twits instead of the know-it-alls we pretend to be in public. They might tell the redstate people - we need password protection! Where is Homeland Security when you need them?

  128. shanemacgowan says at 6:55 pm, April 9th, 2009

    PS: It is not we are predisposed to love our president and hate his predecessor. It is just that we appreciate competence, hate hypocracy and love our country. That seperates us from the party of the wide-stance.

  129. tunamelt says at 6:57 pm, April 9th, 2009

    PHALLUS!

  130. These protocol freaks remind me of insecure middle class corporate drones who decide they will all wear tan pants and polo shirts, and think this is ‘classy’. And if you wear a black shirt and jeans you have broken corporate protocol and are therefore evil.

    These are the same people who prior to visiting England brush up on royal protocol in case they meet a Knight or something (whom for the most part would be too drunk or coked up to give a flying fuck about protocol & would make fund of Americans that did).

    In short, these people fit into Sarah Palin’s definition of ‘class’.

  131. hobospacejunkie says at 7:08 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Midnightpromises: olephil: TruthSayer: If you’re not describing acts of anal congress then I can’t hear you…*plugs ears*…na na na na na na na na na

  132. SayItWithWookies says at 7:08 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Elle: The White House comes equipped with a battery of protocol and etiquette experts. Obama desperately needs to make use of them. He is embarrassing us.

    Too bad those etiquette experts were busy the day we invaded a country for no reason, tortured innocent people to death, tapped Americans’ phones without warrants or oversight and let the greedheads run away with the economy. Someone shoulda been watching out for those breaches of protocol.
    Bowing? Seriously, that’s all you got? Go the fuck back to the rock you crawled out from under.

    I Won Bitches!

  133. TruthSayer says at 7:46 pm, April 9th, 2009

    ah pook: I’m saving the teleprompters, et al, for a later drive-by posting.

    shanemacgowan: so if you’re saying that you appreciate hypocrisy, hate incompetence, and love your country - how then can you be part of this Obama madness?

    sayitwithwookies: I didn’t bring up the etiquette stuff, you people did. My well made points were that Obama is arrogant, egotistical, and incompetent.

    gopherit: take your brevity and shove it - lefties just love to tell others to shut up, and you can’t take it when someone calls you on your ignorance. I love to write just to annoy you!

    I’d proud to be a wingnut - you guys are obviously proud to be numbnuts!

  134. TruthSayer says at 7:50 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Bruno: the moose that Palin just shot had more class than you display in your comment . . . oh yeah, you are the same people who complained that Bush don’t treat other nations respectfully.

  135. TruthSayer says at 7:54 pm, April 9th, 2009

    shanemacgowan: OK so I messed up your quote - S/B appreciate competence, hate hypocracy and love our country.

    I, unlike our wannabe emperor, try to correct my mistakes.

  136. TruthSayer: You are just projecting now. Try harder.

  137. TruthSayer: The moose had enough class to die? Huh?

  138. americanscandoanything says at 8:00 pm, April 9th, 2009

    I’m proud to be a wingnut from the internetz
    A place where even wimps can have some balls
    We still wave old glory in the outhouse
    And secret buttseks is still the biggest thrill of all

    (I love Merle Haggard)

  139. SayItWithWookies says at 8:05 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer: I didn’t bring up the etiquette stuff, you people did. My well made points were that Obama is arrogant, egotistical, and incompetent.

    Other than the fact that I wasn’t responding to your post (note the lack of a link up there), your points are not well-made. Is it arrogant to convey your transportation to where you want to go? Ordering his planes and helicopters around indeed! Such arrogance. Your ideal president would hitchhike to London, I assume, as long as his ride was already headed that way?

    When you have nothing to say, silence might be a better option than what you’re doing. But don’t worry, I’ll ignore you when this stops being fun.

  140. Gopherit says at 8:06 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer: Then we have something in common, because you are one seriously ignorant fucking asshat. Keep talking I enjoy other people hearing you run your ignorant ass blather. But fucking keep it short. MOAR WURD DON”T MAKE U SMART DOOOD.

  141. “My well made points were that Obama is arrogant, egotistical, and incompetent.”

    I really think he is just sexy and smart. And his wife is too.

  142. smartypants says at 8:09 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Truthsayer, please go back to DanceswithWolves, or wherever the fuck you came from. Your destroying my military vodka buzz…

  143. sati demise says at 8:10 pm, April 9th, 2009

    americanscandoanything: bravo-brava !!!1!!11

  144. ah pook says at 8:11 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer:

    You still haven’t answered my question. Go ask your wife, she can tell you if you don’t want a taste.

  145. problemwithcaring says at 8:14 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer: And Michelle isn’t half as good looking as Oprah.

    OK, Mr. “I’d proud to be a wingnut.”

    Now you’re trollin’!

  146. Custerwolf says at 8:30 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer: “I’d proud to be a wingnut - you guys are obviously proud to be numbnuts!”
    Hey doll, do you mind if I forward this comedy jewel onto Jim Carrey’s people? This is truly priceless material, and I can tell that you spent all day making sure you had the letters in their correct order. Is there an address where I can send your royalty checks - or will your post office know where to deliver to a Mr.Cunty McFuckhead?

  147. I actually know exactly what happened here. Barry is a jackass, that’s what happened. Because a) that was definitely a bow, and b) it’s a goddamn miracle Barry restrained himself from curtsying, too. You can just hear his brain smirking:

    “Oh ho, a big fat king! Better be nice to him, or it’ll be off with my head, hah hah. Should I do a hand-wave thing, like I’m taking off a big hat with feathers? Nah, that’d be overkill. Then he’d definitely know I was mocking him. Man, what an ugly sonofabitch, too. I would look way better in a crown. Wait, he doesn’t even have a crown! Dude, you fail at kinging. I would totally have a crown. And armor. And a trusty servant named Patsy. And coconut shells to bang together. Damn, now I want a boogie-board and some shave ice…”

  148. TruthSayer: I’d proud to be a wingnut
    Apparently, you were left behind. Probably even failed ‘recess’.

  149. Custerwolf says at 8:40 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer: “…appreciate competence, hate hypocracy and love our country. I, unlike our wannabe emperor, try to correct my mistakes.”

    In that case, let me help you out. It’s HYPOCRISY (unless you were referring to the form of government created by the Republican party).

  150. smartypants says at 8:42 pm, April 9th, 2009

    I’d proud to be anything right now.

  151. AxmxZ: hmmm. That sure was creative. Maybe you can come up with some good ones to go with the photos of Bush licking the Saudi’s greasy cheeks.

  152. Custerwolf says at 8:50 pm, April 9th, 2009

    AxmxZ: Genius! I myself have never been able to type while on acid.

  153. Ehh, this argument is getting boring, can we get back to Teleprompters or Tripp?

    We should be warbloggin on the sites we’ve been ordered to:
    http://wonkette.com/407681/tax-day-tea-party-website-has-open-comments-cough-cough

    (Because we are independent thinkers)

  154. shanemacgowan says at 9:13 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Bruno: Unfortunately they banned all trucknutzery over there.

  155. wheelie says at 9:14 pm, April 9th, 2009

    The idea that *anyone* who runs for President could be described as egotistical really makes my blood boil. I mean really. Where do you people get off?

  156. shanemacgowan: Time to test your Paultard writing skills. You should still be able to slip a moderate amount of crazy in there given the ‘real’ comments

  157. shanemacgowan says at 9:27 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Bruno: OK: I’ll fight them over there so we don’t have to fight them over here

  158. Custerwolf says at 9:59 pm, April 9th, 2009

    shanemacgowan: I’ll wait for you, I promise….

  159. iolanthe says at 10:31 pm, April 9th, 2009

    AxmxZ: You really *don’t* remember Bush kissing up to this guy, do you?

    Lord.

  160. iolanthe says at 10:33 pm, April 9th, 2009

    MarSF: I love when people who just *ADORED* Dick Cheney call the Obamas “arrogant and egotistical.”

    It’s hilarious.

    Seriously — where the *HELL* were all of you Eagle-Eyed Defenders of the Constitution and Our Democracy while your heroes were raping the country over the past 8 years?

  161. TruthSayer says at 11:15 pm, April 9th, 2009

    Oh children, children, children . . . you’re up way past your bedtime and you’re getting cranky. Time to go brush your teeth, put on your jammies, say your prayers and go to bed. Nightie night, sweet dreams of Obama trying to sell our country to your Saudi king friend and then crying to Michelle when he loses the next election.

    I promise to come back tomorrow to continue your much needed education. Those of you who are ordered by your boss to go to another blog, you’ll miss out on all the fun! I don’t have anyone telling me where I have to blog, I’m free to go wherever I want! And I just love talking to lefty socialist numbnuts, especially when they reply with such colorful toilet language! They’re trying so hard to be adults but their intellectual development stopped when they were 13 years old.

    You are welcome to call me all the names you want - it continues to prove my points.

    BTW, I never said that I liked Cheney or Bush. In fact, I don’t. They screwed up big time. Unfortunately for us, Obama and his incompetent thugs are trying to finish the job.

    bruno, sorry but “independent”? I know what being an independent is, and you sir, are not an independent. I’ll let you stay up just 10 more minutes to watch Olbermann so I can get a better laugh when you use his talking points tomorrow.

    And those of you who don’t have the attention span to read more than one or two sentences, your ritalin is ready.

  162. iolanthe: They were at the donkey show. You hadn’t heard?

  163. TruthSayer: “BTW, I never said that I liked Cheney or Bush. In fact, I don’t. They screwed up big time. Unfortunately for us, Obama and his incompetent thugs are trying to finish the job.”

    Uh oh, guys, we’ve got a PUMA alert…

  164. TruthSayer: “And those of you who don’t have the attention span to read more than one or two sentences, your ritalin is ready.”

    Sorry, but the bait here is completely irresistible. With the obvious exception of those of our number that are stoned, our attention spans are perfectly adequate. We are generally disinclined, however, to read your second sentence, when your first stretches so long. The spirit is unwilling, etc.

    But truly, succinctness is a virtue that far too few writers have any grasp of. Hence, a brief recap:
    Fuck off and die, the end. As a troll you earn 2/10 hideous, malformed stars.

  165. Custerwolf: iolanthe: MarSF: You guys are all new here, aren’t you?

  166. ah pook says at 11:46 pm, April 9th, 2009

    TruthSayer:

    TEABAGGGING TEABAGGING!!!1111!111!!!!1!

    YOU RUINED our PARTAY. WE WANTED TO TEABAG THE LIBTARDS, BUT U RUINED EVERYTHING WITH YoUR COMMENTZ ON OUR STOOPID WEBPAGE. NOW THEY NO ABOUT OUR PLANZ. WE ARE REVOLUTIONARIES LIKE THE FOUNDING FATHERS. PAUL REVERE WAS A TEABAGGER. JEFFERSON WAS A TEABAGGER. BEN FRANKLIN WAS A TEABAGGER. RACIST SHITBAGS LIKE STOoRMFRONT ALSO ARE TEABAGG SUPPORTERS.

    SEAN HANNITY OUR ASSHAT OVERLORD SAYS TO TEA BAG. SO WE TEA BAG. GLENN ‘WE SURROUND THEM’ BECK SAYS TO TEA BAG. SO WE TEA BAG. WE FOLLOW THERE ORDERS. TEA BAG. TEA BAG. TEA BAG.

    TRUCK NUTZ AND TElEprOMtERz. ALSO.

    Again, you didn’t answer my question. Your wife said my ass tasted like raspberry-flavored unicorn tears. I’m hoping for a second opinion. I await your response.

  167. SayItWithWookies says at 12:23 am, April 10th, 2009

    TruthSayer: Aw, that’s cute. You call us names, live in a hypothetical world where Obama loses the next election, brag about how you can go anywhere on the internets (oooh, I’m envious — did you get some sort of deal where AOL lets you out now?) and then say we’re immature.

    If you’re as good at poker as you are at this game, you should come to my house when I’m having a game. And take your mom’s tip jar with you — you’re gonna need it.

  168. El Pinche says at 12:37 am, April 10th, 2009

    YOU OBOTS NEED TO WAKE UP , TRUTHSAYER, GLENN BECK, HANITTY , ALL THESE GENEUSES IS RIGHT. YOU PEEPLE WILL QUACK IN FEER WHEN WE THE REAL AMERKANS GET TOGETHER AND REVOLUTE AGAINST THE MUSLIN SOCAILIST TRANNY ON TEA BAG DAY.

    ALSO YOU LIBRALS NEED TO LEARN TO READ AND GET THE FACTS.

    Instead of a tea party, these losers need to go to a job fair and shut the fuck up. Raise my taxes, I’ll just keep working hard and get raise every year to make for it. But I guess its hard when your working the fryer at Sonic .

  169. Custerwolf says at 12:47 am, April 10th, 2009

    AxmxZ: If you are implying that you are “established” - let me give you a little hint: what helps most is if you’re not unfunny.

  170. gjdodger says at 12:48 am, April 10th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: That reminds me of an ousted Bush I cabinet member (I won’t name him, but he was Ed Madigan), about four weeks after the 1992 election, telling us he or someone like him would be there four years later after Clinton got defeated. Too bad Ed didn’t live to see Clinton win. I’ve have loved to shove it up his ass.

  171. Gallowglass says at 12:49 am, April 10th, 2009

    TruthSayer: Haha! I get it! We’re like children and you are our parent figure. Oh, consistently applied imagery, how delightfully evocative! Please, do come back tomorrow. I am ever so anxious to learn about how Obama and his thugs are destroying our country, and perhaps receive a lesson on Arab culture. Then we can finish off our day with ice cream sundaes before brushing our teeth, climbing into our nightclothes and giving each other blumpkins.

  172. Custerwolf says at 12:52 am, April 10th, 2009

    TruthSayer: You DO know that whenever you climb up on that soapbox of yours, we can totally see up your skirt.

  173. El Pinche says at 12:55 am, April 10th, 2009

    Clinton redux?
    Who doesn’t want Clinton redux ? Shit, my pot jar was never empty. It was $15 1/4 ounce for Thai Bud for fucks sake (my economic indicator). It was hog heaven until mutherfucker Newt showed up.

  174. 102415 says at 1:15 am, April 10th, 2009

    I don’t understand why some people don’t like my new smart African jewishboyfriend who is the nicest man to ever be president of the crazy ass 25% of americanz paranoid schizophrenic haters AND the rest of us normal millions and millions who cried and laughed and set fire to the trash cans of the corporations in delicious celebration of his winning and our winning. ANd now we can have our rules instead of the stupid secret retarded rules of the short bus people who hate America and interfear with our sexing and stole our monies and killed people who were not tiny zygotes but had thinkings already. So there, go have your tea bag party but stop making my nicer tea stink with your nasty thoughts. I well know I am not allowed to fill up the entire fucking space on the fucking comment page with my craqzy not funny ideas about party crashing cuntybores but I think thaat every one who belongs here on this very special web address will know how to skip down to the very tippity bottom of the page and get the EOM to this epic narraTIVE of my own inventions without getting into jammies caring about bowing touching birth certificates teleprompters bare arms race or religion.

    I HATE YOU and I want to take away your guns and make you gay marry after your abortion. I also hate the Palin heretics and old man devil mccain. You lost this election bad.Now teabag each other until you have an idea I can respect.Although many of us do like the tea bagging in private places once in while if it is Christmas for God’s sake maureen.Iwould rather pay taxes than get tea bagged by you.

  175. schvitzatura says at 4:38 am, April 10th, 2009

    OPFOR dingus twat warblogging efforts =

    Chuck d’Albret & Co. at Agincourt
    Hank Burmester Pulleine & Crew at Isandlwana
    J.A.P. San Roman & Friends (Brigada Asalto 2506) at Bahía de Cochinos

    That is all.

  176. TruthSayer: No you’ve got it all wrong. My pastor told me there is no such thang as independent thinking. Only the word of the lord. Amen

  177. FaunceyGardner says at 8:00 am, April 10th, 2009

    102415: yay

  178. thebaker says at 8:20 am, April 10th, 2009

    AxmxZ: your Obamaenvy syndrome is omnipresent. Remember:”…You’re good enuff,you’re smart enuff and people like you….too” Also.

  179. I love how the guy on the left in the last photo is looking at Condi like “I’m gonna give you some of what he’s getting over there”. You can practically see him waggling his eyebrows.

  180. Hagar77 says at 9:18 am, April 10th, 2009

    TruthSayer: Poor wingnuts; have you somehow not yet learned that whenever your tiny yellow buses drop you off for a fieldtrip at Wonkette, it always ends in tears and broken bicycle helmets? Go on home now. Shoo. Shoo.

  181. thebaker: N00b #4. You guys are breaking all records.

  182. Custerwolf says at 11:03 am, April 10th, 2009

    AxmxZ: You do understand that the purpose of communication is to make yourself understood?
    Just checking.

  183. Custerwolf says at 11:04 am, April 10th, 2009

    Hagar77: Thank you for that marvelous imagery.

  184. AxmxZ: Oh, fuck off. The whole curmudgeonly ‘newfag’ hatred isn’t welcome here, or anywhere else on the internet. We aren’t comparing e-penises here, you neotenous tool.

  185. Gallowglass says at 11:58 am, April 10th, 2009

    Zadig: We aren’t? *looks down* Oh. *Zips e-pants*

  186. thebaker says at 12:26 pm, April 10th, 2009

    Zadig: when are they going to round up the “dry, biting, wits” and punch ‘em the nuts? DAMN THE FIRST AMENDMENT! dicklickers

  187. imissopus says at 1:13 pm, April 10th, 2009

    TruthSayer: “My well made points were that Obama is arrogant, egotistical, and incompetent.”

    I hate jumping into this so late (or at all) but you make it sound like you won some sort of debate. Do you understand that your “points” are all subjective opinions and can in no way be considered objective facts?

    And I really think you should familiarize yourself with all definitions of socialism before you start criticizing the intellectualism of any libs over here. You should probably familiarize yourself with the definition of satire as well.

    Or you can just keep talking like a condescending asshole, in which case the level of discourse on this board will remain at “go suck your trucknutz” or some such. Which is how we usually like it.

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