GROSS  5:16 pm April 8, 2009

Green-Haired Obama Chia Pet Pulled From Stores Because Of RACISM

by Jim Newell

The store Walgreens has PULLED this insane Barack Obama Chia Pet from its shelves, and now 200,000 of them are simply sitting in a warehouse. Apparently customers complained that the beige Obama head with green hair was RACIST against black people and junk. At least that’s what this article is implying? Or maybe the complainers were Oompa Loompas, although it is generally assumed that the military gassed them into extinction sometime in the ’80s. [CBS2]


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Gopherit April 8, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Aw, Jim, did you steal this from Shorts’ blog? You’ll give him the sadz.

ManchuCandidate April 8, 2009 at 5:20 pm

I’d rather they pulled O-Chias off the shelves because someone came to their senses and realized that it is a fucking tacky stupid idea.

snideinplainsight April 8, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Wait! Shorts has a blog?

NoWireHangers April 8, 2009 at 5:22 pm

You can still buy them online. Not that I would know that or anything.

The Cold Sea April 8, 2009 at 5:23 pm

It’s not cut in a quo vadis?

NoWireHangers April 8, 2009 at 5:23 pm

[re=284370]snideinplainsight[/re]: Well, someone had to buy the URL

SayItWithWookies April 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm

The real story: Michelle had them recalled. There’s no way she’d let her hubby out of the house with his sprouts all nappy like that. What?

DagNabbit April 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm



L Urchin April 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm

It was ancient Romans who complained. Caesar wants his laurel wreath back.

Scandinavian Fetus April 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm

This is actually a picture of Oompa Loompa pubic hair, which is green.

The objection is that the product is pornographic.

user-of-owls April 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Admittedly, I have limited knowledge of the Walgreens demographic, but I would have assumed the complaints were more likely to have centered on the representation being INSUFFICIENTLY RACIST. You know, as in, “The terra cotta’s not BLACK enough!”

HomoPolitico April 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Well, at least we finally have a post that wont have someone saying “I’m sorry, I’m so upset I lost all snark”.

StephanieInCA April 8, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Why would John Boehner have a problem with Chia Obama?

DagNabbit April 8, 2009 at 5:25 pm


Growing weed in Obama’s head!

Smoking that O-bomb-a son!

ella April 8, 2009 at 5:26 pm

I just saw those yesterday on Amazon. They also had a smiley, happy one. True.

El Pinche April 8, 2009 at 5:26 pm

oompa loompaish maybe, racist? nah!

user-of-owls April 8, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=284369]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Umm, Manchu? Walgreens?

shortsshortsshorts April 8, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=284365]Gopherit[/re]: :(
SADNESS. We had it yesterday morning thanks to chascates, but being on the bitter outskirts of the interwebs, only 300 people saw it (thank you Google analytics).

snideinplainsight April 8, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Barak Obama – historians in large majority will agree that he was our nappiest president.

NoWireHangers April 8, 2009 at 5:27 pm

I always kinda thought about maybe buying a Chia Pet if I had $7 I wanted to throw away on something that wasn’t alcoholic. I never really got around to it, but I might have considered buying the Obama one if the racial implications/similarity to an afro weren’t a little vague and somewhat uncomfortable. You know?

FamilyLost April 8, 2009 at 5:27 pm

DagNabbit: Win!

loudmouthredhead April 8, 2009 at 5:28 pm

I tried to return mine. I thought it was a real, stuffed Oompa Loompa head (which are known to impart fertility, good luck, and healthy doses of beta keratin)

ManchuCandidate April 8, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Pardon my ignorance of US America retailing, but I take it Walgreens is below Walmart on the classy scale?

Pizzuti April 8, 2009 at 5:32 pm

They need to compliment the Barack Obama chiapet with a George W. Bush chiapet to ensure a “fair and balanced” perspective of multiple races and ends of the political spectrum.

Atheist Nun April 8, 2009 at 5:33 pm


loudmouthredhead April 8, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=284391]NoWireHangers[/re]: It’s only racist if you use non-Chia approved grass seeds (you know, from real grass that grows more than 1/4″ high)

problemwithcaring April 8, 2009 at 5:34 pm

My good friend in high school used to call me an Oompa Loompa ostensibly because I was short, and it always secretly irritated me off. Now I know I was pissed off because it was racist.

NoWireHangers April 8, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=284396]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Walgreens isn’t that bad. It’s just a drug store chain. A little over priced maybe. In some parts of the midwest there’s a Walgreens on every corner. It’s not overtly trashy like Walmart. It’s just fine. It’s like CVS or RiteAid or whatever your neighborhood pharmacy conglomerate is. However, they do have a good variety of “As Seen on TV” products.

loudmouthredhead April 8, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=284403]problemwithcaring[/re]: You’ve always known something wasn’t right…like a splinter in your mind. Now, take this red pill.

comradepaulson April 8, 2009 at 5:36 pm

It doesn’t really look like Obama. It looks kinda like a weird cross between Clinton, Obama and Carter. Or just a really old, bags-under-eyes Obama.

But anyway… racists!

Pizzuti April 8, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=284396]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “Pardon my ignorance of US America retailing, but I take it Walgreens is below Walmart on the classy scale?”

Nothing is below Wal-Mart. Secondhand stores, estate sales and yard sales are not below Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart is the bottom of the barrel, but Walgreens stores are close. They’re about equally cheap and tacky, but less socially damaging and megalithic.

HomoPolitico April 8, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=284384]DagNabbit[/re]: Industrious growers and stoners are already way ahead of you. My roommate came home with something yesterday called “Purple Obama”

NoWireHangers April 8, 2009 at 5:39 pm

[re=284402]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Does the Chia hair only grow about a 1/4 inch? WTF! The only reason I considered buying one was to see how long and thick it could get.

(erm…I’ll just leave that last sentence open for a reply comment)

Anyhoo, doesn’t the Chia grass/hair have to grow through little holes in the hair or something? Right? So it’s not like you could put mary jane seeds in there; that shit’s hard enough to grow anyway, not that I would know anything about that or anything. Whatever. I didn’t want no stinking Chia pet anyway.

grevillea April 8, 2009 at 5:44 pm

That is so racist! Because of Obama’s Native American heritage! That’s like calling him a redskin! Wait, …what? African? OK, never mind.

Harvey Birdman April 8, 2009 at 5:44 pm

My Chia Shaggy was clearly anti-stoner.

Gopherit April 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm

[re=284415]NoWireHangers[/re]: I am sure Hopey would grow long and thick for you Hangers.

And you’re welcome.

Lazy Media April 8, 2009 at 5:46 pm

NOOOOOOO!!! That’s on my list for Santa to bring me. Don’t fold to the PC hippies, Chia petmakers! Think of the Chinese factory workers!

One Yield Regular April 8, 2009 at 5:47 pm

eBay, the year 2036:

Chia Obama Head, extremely rare. Manufactured in 2009 in an edition of 200,000, this item was quickly pulled off the shelves due to a controversy over alleged racism. Only about 1200 were sold prior to the recall, and of these, it is widely assumed that all but a handful have disappeared.

Starting bid: $47,500 Ameros.

comradepaulson April 8, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Is it scientifically possible to grow tea out of chiahead? And where’s the chiahead Ron Paul?

Min April 8, 2009 at 5:53 pm

It’s not racist. It’s disrespectful. There is a difference, you know. That said, I own many, many items that are disrespectful of George W. Bush, so it doesn’t really bother me.

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 8, 2009 at 5:58 pm

But brown and green are earth tones, and Obama is from Earth! Specifically, Kenya.

picyou April 8, 2009 at 5:58 pm

That does it! I’m going to dye my hair green.

Itsjustme April 8, 2009 at 6:01 pm

But it had its own website

Lazy Media April 8, 2009 at 6:06 pm

OK, I just ordered two online (one to grow and one to keep as a retirement portfolio). They’re out of stock, but hopefully they’ll get some more before the “uh, is this racist? I dunno, somebody might think so, let’s not do it” factor kills it off.

DagNabbit April 8, 2009 at 6:07 pm

[re=284411]HomoPolitico[/re]: Now, I have never been with an “Obama”, but word on the street is that part of their “Baracks” are already purple…

DagNabbit April 8, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Nig Nig Nig Chia!

President Beeblebrox April 8, 2009 at 6:10 pm

wut? I would have paid up to $2.99 for a Chia Barry!

Fivetree April 8, 2009 at 6:13 pm

Hands down favorite chia pet of all time has to be Barbara’s Bush, from the 90s, with the seeds germinated in the appropriate area. They didn’t pull THOSE from the shelves. But, don’t tell the PUMAs or they’ll start bawling about teh sexism or some other such thing. Also.

Custerwolf April 8, 2009 at 6:27 pm

The folks responsible for the next big sea monkey marketing campaign would be wise to take heed.

Min April 8, 2009 at 6:55 pm

[re=284473]Custerwolf[/re]: Mwah!

hobospacejunkie April 8, 2009 at 7:07 pm

I must stand up for my local Walgreens. It is clean. The aisles are not clogged with fat mothers and their fat chilluns. The workers are generally nice. They even employ “little people.” And they have a nice, easy-to-use system for re-ordering prescription drugs by mail, and said drugs are sent to your house for no fee. And the stores don’t smell. Neither like popcorn having sat under the hot lamp all day nor like a fat person’s dream deli (deep fried.) So LAY OFF WALGREENS ALREADY!!

themcw April 8, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Neilist April 8, 2009 at 7:19 pm

No, no, NO!

It’s the McDonald’s Shamrock Shake that’s racist.

schvitzatura April 8, 2009 at 8:08 pm

Arugula is a mucilaginous seed, just like chia…oh, the possibilities!

Perfect for making table-side constructed elitecommiemuslin salmon confit in olive oil with microarugula salad and balsamic vinegar…

carameltoe April 8, 2009 at 9:02 pm

[re=284473]Custerwolf[/re]: WIN!!

MortSinclair April 8, 2009 at 9:11 pm

OMG I so want one.

NunnaTheSOBs April 8, 2009 at 9:21 pm

Just to show that there were NO racial insults intended,
the company will hold a press conference to unvail the
Hillary Clinton Chia Pet with thick green armpit and
pubic hair (the latter will be EDIBLE).

Bearbloke April 8, 2009 at 10:13 pm

I don’t see anything ‘racist’ here, and I give it a pass. I’d rather save my outrage for real racism

Bearbloke April 8, 2009 at 10:15 pm

[re=284645]NunnaTheSOBs[/re]: BTW, chia seeds ARE edible, and supposedly good for us!

Hagar77 April 8, 2009 at 11:16 pm

Yeah, well, I’d feel a little better about if they’d ever made a Chia white person. The only other Chia person was Mr. T. So, um, yeah, mild case of the squicks there.

CthuNHu April 8, 2009 at 11:33 pm

I, for one, welcome our new Oompa Loompa overlord.

Also, a warehouse with 200,000 of these? Can we keep Bill Kristol there for about five years, in stress positions, with Tuesday morning waterboardings? After that, it could be rented out as a film set for dream sequences.

hamletta April 8, 2009 at 11:47 pm

[re=284693]Hagar77[/re]: I think you’re wrong. I have a distinct memory of an early Chia Head of Harpo Marx.

But maybe I was just stoned, like Chia Shaggy.

hamletta April 8, 2009 at 11:51 pm

OK, according to Wikipedia, I am wrong. I was thinking of Chia Professor, who bore a striking resemblance to Albert Einstein.

AKAM80TheWolf April 9, 2009 at 10:01 am

[re=284378]L Urchin[/re]:

Was reading Suetonius and did you know the Roman emperor Augustus used the Roman equivalent of a TELEPROMPTERZ whenever he spoke? Even to his wife, he had it all written out beforehand.

Come to think of it, I’ve never seen Augustus and Obama in the same room at the same time …. hmmm? Also.

clarkboyz April 9, 2009 at 11:11 am

I fined It hard to believe this is the biggest concern on black peoples mind,how about putting your time somewhere helpful like young black men and women,80% percent of all jails are full of blacks and 74% percent of Welfare is black,why dont you spend more time working with the younger and up and coming black community,your time will be well served.Instead of worring about a chia pet, simply dont buy it if you dont like it.

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 11:16 am

[re=284933]clarkboyz[/re]: Let me guess, you were delivered C-section before your funny bone had a chance to fully develop? My advice – climb back into your mamma’s pouch and let your cells do some more dividing before coming back here for another self-righteous go.

viviangrrrl April 9, 2009 at 11:31 am

I WANT one. :(

clarkboyz April 9, 2009 at 12:46 pm

custerwolf your a joke,everything i stated is fact,as soon as somebody brings up having to do something to help, people like you have something to say,im sure its been along time since youve done anything to help anyone but your self, just by your reply,i stated fact and have nothing racist to say at all,as far as climbing back into my mommas pouch (real classy statement) what are you in third grade ,by the way i do more in one day to help and care for the needed of all colors than you do all week

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=285077]clarkboyz[/re]: Thank god viviangrrrl cut you off. Now she just needs to take your keys away.

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 1:42 pm

[re=285077]clarkboyz[/re]: “i do more in one day to help and care for the needed of all colors than you do all week”
Wow, I can’t wait until I hit the fourth grade where I’ll have an opportunity to learn your killer style of grammar. It’s getting boring here in the third grade just learning about dumb marsupials and stuff.

arclight April 9, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Dammit! I really wanted one of those but put off buying one!

clarkboyz April 9, 2009 at 2:05 pm

custerwolf as i said your truley are a joke, no one cut me off,and out of all the things i wrote the only thing that you commented on was you being in the third grade(as i said all about you ),not helping others ,have a great day

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 2:14 pm

[re=285255]clarkboyz[/re]: Shouldn’t you be attending to those colored folk instead of wasting time chatting it up with me?

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 2:19 pm

[re=285255]clarkboyz[/re]: And please clarkboyz – since you’re probably very good at it, just continue to help others. No need to brag about it. No need to make comparisons. No need to attack others for not doing their part. Just continue to help others if that brings you happiness. Really. It’s that simple. And it’s more than enough. You have a good day as well.

AlexisHidell April 9, 2009 at 3:15 pm

I bought one for my new house because I couldn’t pass up the tackiest piece of shit I’ve ever seen. They come in two poses: “Determined” and “Happy”. The happy one looked too racist, and kinda like Dumb Donald from Fat Albert & the Cosby Kids, so I went with the “Determined” one. Best part and proof that it’s not racist, just first in a long line of tacky Chias to come: it includes a postcard survey that asks what U.S. icon you would like to see next in the future line of “America’s Chia Treasures”. The options include: W, Reagan, Slick Willy, Big Hillz, the Liberty Bell (snore), Lady Liberty, and Sarah Palin (must have!!!). There’s also a write-in blank, where I will add “Crying Bald Eagle Pleeze!”

clarkboyz April 9, 2009 at 4:06 pm

custerwolf once again your mouth shows what kind of person you are,no i (shouldnt be tending to those colored folk)i never said anything about what color the people are that i help,but a ignorant bastard such as your self assumes there black,i help any one who is in need not by there color,and as far as bragging goes no one was bragging simply stating a fact and responding to your rude post

Custerwolf April 9, 2009 at 6:18 pm

[re=285554]clarkboyz[/re]: Could you please post future sentences PRIOR to hitting the frappe button on your keyboard?

Bruno April 11, 2009 at 9:21 am

There are 200k unsold in the warehouse, yet Ebay sellers are using this as an opportunity to say RARE and BANNED.

I might pay $1 for 1. But $33.50+Shipping, are you fuckin nutz?

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