TEABAGGER ART  2:40 pm April 8, 2009

Best Teabagging Threat EVER

by Jim Newell

This latest one, it is a Masterpiece. A House staffer sends us this image and writes, “This is what we get in the House… apparently we don’t warrant actual teabags like the Senate, just a good ol’ teabagging by fax.” Ha ha, the House will always just be the poor man’s Senate. But how remarkable is this! The “value” wordplay was quite the deft maneuver. And look at the little dog lady in her window, barking. And CONTRACTS — MONITOR CONTRACTS. Jesus!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 94 comments }

StephanieInCA April 8, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Crappy Wal-Mart knockoff tea? This clearly came from Blanche Lincoln.

StephanieInCA April 8, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Also, apparently from the future. 9/25/2014? wtf?

Fox n Fiends April 8, 2009 at 2:43 pm

ask Native Americans how well America honors its contracts, bitch.

Accordion-o-rama April 8, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Why should we worry about the screaming of lamprey monsters with saggies (upper left)? Aren’t monsters bad?

norbizness April 8, 2009 at 2:44 pm

[re=283985]StephanieInCA[/re]: Apparently that’s the day Skynet became sentient and instead of launching nuclear weapons decided to send Paultard-emulating faxes into the past.

Noodle Salad April 8, 2009 at 2:44 pm

When you’re in the process of photocopying tea bags, drawing pictures of people yelling out of their windows on the photocopy, then narrating that picture, then sending the whole crazy mess to your congressional representative via fax, how do you not stop at some point in the process and think, my god, I am a lunatic. Oh, right, it’s because you’re a lunatic.

Kev-O-Tron April 8, 2009 at 2:45 pm

The date on the top says 9/25/2014… We are being visited by wingnuts from the FUTURE! Apparently they stay idiots for five more years.

Thegreatbacon April 8, 2009 at 2:45 pm

This image is now the cover art for my band’s new album. My band is called Shouting Man, and so it fits.

The Station Manager April 8, 2009 at 2:45 pm

I love the picture in the upper left! Nothing says “Your constituents in Maine are absolute raging idiots” better than a faxed sheet of paper full of inane ramblings, drawings and fucking teabags.

Cicada April 8, 2009 at 2:46 pm

I admire the writer’s ability to fully flesh out their thesis, creating a compelling argument sure to sway the reader.

VOTE NO ON GAY MARRIAGE CONTRACTS AND SPENDING MONEY ON THE CONSTITUTION!!!!! GEITHNER!!1!!

Yes, it’s all so clear now.

Judas Peckerwood April 8, 2009 at 2:46 pm

I’d so be checking that fax for teh anthrax.

L Urchin April 8, 2009 at 2:46 pm

I see a Broadway, maybe off-Broadway show here: TeaBagging: The Musical.

NoWireHangers April 8, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Of course the wingnuts are angry. All that Walmart tea has given them the runs.

NoWireHangers April 8, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Jim, if you give me your address, I’ll switch from Blingees to tea bagger collages. Everybody wins!

Styrofoam Boots April 8, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=284001]Thegreatbacon[/re]: I hope you’re serious and will you let me know when it’s released?

IceCreamEmpress April 8, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Going back on contracts is wrong. Except when they’re with unions. Or between same-sex spouses. Or with anyone who isn’t rich.

Cape Clod April 8, 2009 at 2:51 pm

In all seriousness, if I was in this person’s family I would start burying all the weapons in the house somewhere deep in the forest.

Crank Tango April 8, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Step 1: Shoot your whole family
Step 2: Shoot yourself

kthxby!

BillyClubb April 8, 2009 at 2:51 pm

How much you wanna bet that message was run through the fax machine with tea bags attached?

[Fax repairman] “It appears that your fax machine is full of tea leaves. But how?”

Gopherit April 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm

How did they fit so much crazy on one page? those paultards are clever.

DC Hates Me April 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm

I’d hate to see their grocery list: -NO- more Twinnings Tea! STOP spending money on expensive foreign TEA! And NO hippie herbal tea! EVER!!

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Screaming from our windows hoping you’ll listen.

*screaming from the ground* JUMP!

Gopherit April 8, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=284006]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: If anyone would try to send anthrax through a fax machine, it’s the paultards.

Scandinavian Fetus April 8, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Middle-school art montage…B-

Hart88 April 8, 2009 at 2:53 pm

I swear this was an REM album cover…

Hooray For Anything April 8, 2009 at 2:53 pm

I think you’re all misunderstanding the genius of the collage. This isn’t some fax put together by some Moran, but instead, their using collage as an avant-garde practice that anticipates postmodern art with its emphasis on language at the expense of autobiography

IceCreamEmpress April 8, 2009 at 2:53 pm

My favorite Maine joke:

So a guy from Maine goes into a drugstore and says, “I want some anal deodorant.”
The druggist is taken aback, and says, “I’ve never heard of that, and I’m sure we don’t stock it.”
“No, I’ve bought it here often.”
“Really, I think you must be mistaken.”
The Mainer goes off and wanders the aisles for a bit, then pounces on something with a triumphant “A-HA!”
Bringing it back to the druggist, he waves a SpeedStick in her face. “See here? The directions are right on the side: ‘To use, push up bottom.’”

Gopherit April 8, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=284000]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: FIVE MORE YEARS! FIVE MORE YEARS!

ManchuCandidate April 8, 2009 at 2:55 pm

I think this teabagging collage would have been better down by cutting out the letters from various newspaper headlines and arranging them into phrases.

http://www.cabanonline.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/ransom-note.jpg

user-of-owls April 8, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Well, perhaps “volunteerism is not should not be mandatory,” but I think elementary level English education should be.

user-of-owls April 8, 2009 at 2:58 pm

I know I haven’t been following Congress as closely as I should, but when did Johnny Damon get elected and what is this bill he’s apparently sponsored?

magic titty April 8, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Good god.

bitchincamaro April 8, 2009 at 3:01 pm

I think that’s a Portland Seadog in the windie.

Min April 8, 2009 at 3:01 pm

I just love to see kindergarten students getting involved in the political process.

ManchuCandidate April 8, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=284053]user-of-owls[/re]:
The A-Rod Narcissism Relief Fund (aka the BoSox Sux Bill)

freakishlystrong April 8, 2009 at 3:02 pm

This person needs to dail wayyyyy down on the Glenn Beck…”Read the Constitution and stick to it1!”, it’s as though the last 8 years never happened, NOW they care about the Constitution?

chauncey April 8, 2009 at 3:04 pm

look seriously volunteerism is not should not be mandatory

The Station Manager April 8, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Screaming from our windows, hoping you’ll listen

Bitch, it’s called THE INTERNET. USE IT. They can’t hear you in DC when you’re in fucking Maine.

TeddyS April 8, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Ola, teabagger amigos! The change happened in November, as mandated by the Constitution. You lost. Live with it.

shortsshortsshorts April 8, 2009 at 3:05 pm

CLEARLY THE INJUSTICE IS SO PERVASIVE AT THIS POINT THAT THE ONLY REAL SOLUTION IS TO TAKE TEA BAGGING ONE STEP FURTHER. ASS FUCKING IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE POSITIVE ATTENTION OUR COALITION DESERVES. GET OUT THERE AND FUCK SOME ASS. TEA BAGGING JUST ISN’T DOING IT ANYMORE. GATHER IN YOUR CHURCHES, AT YOUR TOWN HALLS, AND ON CAPITOL HILL. ASS FUCK YOUR WAY OUT OF THESE SPENDING POLICIES, ONCE AND FOR ALL. DON’T STOP UNTIL CHANGE COMES TO WASHINGTON ACORN JESUS BILL TELEAYERSPROMPTER.
ASS FUCKING!!!!11!

DagNabbit April 8, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Wow. And when I was in 2nd grade, I used to just make hand turkeys all day!

AngryBlakGuy April 8, 2009 at 3:09 pm

…whomever this is obviously burned out the last 2 braincells they had, figuring out how to operate the fax machine. I take comfort in the thought of him/her spending their life in a vegetative state unable to procreate!

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 8, 2009 at 3:10 pm

[re=284037]Hart88[/re]: Ha. NO. Clearly, this is the Tom Tom Club.

DeathOfIrony April 8, 2009 at 3:10 pm

The woman in the window is screaming because of buttsechs, obv…

qwerty42 April 8, 2009 at 3:14 pm

As long as folks like this are willing to step forward and be counted, I don’t see the Democrats losing the presidency, either house of congress or most of anything. semi-coherent tirades would not seem to make for victory (or profit) (or am I missing some ?????)?

AngryBlakGuy April 8, 2009 at 3:14 pm

…$5 bucks says the ass-weasel lives in his mothers basement, has a stockpile of weapons and thinks the government is controlling his mind using some weird alien technology that they obtained by selling out the rest of the human race?

user-of-owls April 8, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[re=284066]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Well that should stimulate both the pharmaceutical and mirror industries quite nicely.

[re=284062]bitchincamaro[/re]: I think that’s a Portland Seadog in the windie.
I think its a Portugese Waterdog in a hoodie.

Gopherit April 8, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=284072]chauncey[/re]: it’s called the draft, moron. Service to your country isn’t a new idea. Even here.

Advocatus_Diaboli April 8, 2009 at 3:19 pm

The author of that, that, thing should not be allowed near objects sharper than a cotton ball. And furthermore, I call bullshit because there’s no way that author was capable of using a fax machine. Also.

Tawk April 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm

God I love my adopted state. Oh. Damon is a State Sen. up here. So among everything else we have a libertarian appealing to congresspeople to intervene in a state legislature’s bill because there’s no value in Washington? Yes. Perfect sense.

Human-Animal Hybrid April 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Nicholson’s 200 page manuscript of “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” in The Shining was more lucid than this gem.

chascates April 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Angry in Maine? Eat one of those damned Whoopies or whatever the hell you call them.
And then go take a flying fuck at a moose.

Monsieur Grumpe April 8, 2009 at 3:22 pm

It must have been a group effort judging from all the different hand writing or maybe one those multiple personality disorders. You would think that with multiple personalities that at least one of them would be normal.

Rumproast April 8, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Mr. Newell, you know making a contest out of this would be a GOOD THING, right?

Rary Guppert April 8, 2009 at 3:24 pm

dude, glenn beck must have said the trigger word on air that activated the RFID mind control chip rupert murdoch previously arranged to have secretly implanted in the buttocks of every FOX News watcher in america. it’s the only rational explanation for why every last wingnut in flyover country has collectively lost his shit all at once.

anyway, she’s sorta right about geithner, at least. the broken-clock-twice-a-day kind of right.

An American in Toronto April 8, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Ahh, it’s been a month or so since the last humiliating Maine reference on Wonkette and I am proud once again. It looks like several different handwriting types, too. I know these people. I’m sure they swiped the tea from their Memere’s kitchen and have to sneak it in before Wheel of Fortune starts and she raises holy hell.

The Church of Realism April 8, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=284078]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:

Paultards actually taking Shorts advice…really

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154541

bitchincamaro April 8, 2009 at 3:28 pm

[re=284090]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Wow. A Jimmie Rizzi reference on teh Wonkette.

shortsshortsshorts April 8, 2009 at 3:30 pm

[re=284136]The Church of Realism[/re]: Hahaha “De’ Took er JAWBS.”

natteringnabomb April 8, 2009 at 3:31 pm

Shouldn’t real american cons be sending like loofas ,falafels and empty oxy bottles to their duly elected congress peoples.

finland April 8, 2009 at 3:32 pm

god bless the staffers who are doing their patriotic duty by sending these things in.

also should this be blingeeized or are we done with blingees and now just sending detailed fax montages to the wonkette offices (surely you all have a fax machine in that rented storage unit, yes?).

Accordion-o-rama April 8, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=284088]DagNabbit[/re]: How precocious you are! I didn’t hit puberty till 8th grade.

FlamingSooner April 8, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Uh, not to nitpick this obviously well thought out creation, but don’t Congresspersons VOTE on bills and then the bills are sent to the President, who SIGNS them?

Also, who actually sends faxes anymore?

Come here a minute April 8, 2009 at 3:41 pm

This is the great thing about FAX technology! You can just scribble down random stuff on your tea-bag photocopy while listening to Limbaugh/Beck/O’Reilly/Ingraham, and send it off without a fancy computer email machine (which can listen to your thoughts and send them to the gummint, because they’re liberal).

Mad Farmer Manifest April 8, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Haven’t these people taken their skills at stupidity, racism, driving like assholes, being unsafe with firearms, and destroying the environment and gone Galt yet? Please, take your hard work and get the fuck out of here. Take the bankers and stock brokers with you.

4tehlulz April 8, 2009 at 3:46 pm

I thought the whole point of sending them money was because they didn’t have it; this fax has taught me that it is possible to get and not have money simultaneously.

4tehlulz April 8, 2009 at 3:47 pm

OK I am an idiot. that said spending money. I was too blinded by the low-res teabags to read correctly.

AnnieGetYourFun April 8, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=284184]4tehlulz[/re]: Don’t worry. I misread it the first time, too.

One Yield Regular April 8, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Are you sure that’s not a long-lost work from Jean-Michel Basquiat?

My favorite: “Read bills in entirety before you sign them.” If I were the staffer who received this, I’d send this tea-bagger a copy of the fattest legislative bill I could find and demand detailed comments no later than Friday noon.

4tehlulz April 8, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=284213]One Yield Regular[/re]: The USA PATRIOT Act works nicely.

MissyLissa April 8, 2009 at 4:14 pm

The first American Revolution gave us works of rhetorical genius like Common Sense. 200 years later we get stick figure drawings and a sound bytes that don’t have any context with them. Congrats Wingnuts, you have proven that the theory of evolution is false.

Buzz Feedback April 8, 2009 at 4:27 pm

Probably a gun owner, too. Or a tightly-wound Asian.

Uncle Glenny April 8, 2009 at 4:38 pm

A little cleanup by the graphic arts department, and this could be the next GOP budget.

Botswana Meat Commission FC April 8, 2009 at 4:40 pm

This looks like every flyer for a punk show ever.

grevillea April 8, 2009 at 4:41 pm

[re=284275]Buzz Feedback[/re]: What, are there flecks of jasmine in those teabags?

Rary Guppert April 8, 2009 at 4:45 pm

if anyone in canada is reading this, we in america would like to offer you the state of maine. free of charge. we hope you have better luck with it than we did.

problemwithcaring April 8, 2009 at 4:54 pm

This psychotic’s facsimile will get roughly the same amount of attention from congressional staff as a well-reasoned letter, typed neatly on stationary and mailed to them, which is to say, none at all.

Bruno April 8, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Hey, they are evolving. That wasn’t entirely in CAPS

L Urchin April 8, 2009 at 5:05 pm

[re=284294]Uncle Glenny[/re]: i lol’d

rocktonsammy April 8, 2009 at 5:09 pm

This must be serious, I’ve never known anyone from Maine to be angry.

grevillea April 8, 2009 at 5:11 pm

[re=284294]Uncle Glenny[/re]: [re=284347]L Urchin[/re]: Did someone say ‘teabag budget’?

http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/1405/roadtorecoveryfinal17.jpg

Atheist Nun April 8, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Does this really need a Blingee? Aw, fuck it:
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/88012952-TEMPEST-IN-A-TEAPOT

problemwithcaring April 8, 2009 at 5:38 pm

[re=284368]Atheist Nun[/re]: Thank you – I get Glen Beck now.

PrairiePossum April 8, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Damn it Trig, I’ve told you to stay away from the fax machine. Now go in the other room and help mommy with her state budget and sex education policy.

LittlePig April 8, 2009 at 5:46 pm

[re=283983]StephanieInCA[/re]: Crappy Wal-Mart knockoff tea? This clearly came from Blanche Lincoln.

You may be on to something there. The only time I have seen Senator Lincoln in real life was in a Little Rock Wal-Mart.

comradepaulson April 8, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Again, I am disappointed. The fax machine is so fucking 1995. I mean, really… this asswads can’t use a scanner, Power Point and teh e-mail? I mean, we’ve had twits twat about their tea already (Ed Henry, twitter about Chip Reid).

Join us in 2009, Grandpa Teabagtard!

LittlePig April 8, 2009 at 5:54 pm

[re=284101]user-of-owls[/re]: It’s not a dog, you sillies. Look at the slant eyes – it’s Michelle Malkin, not a dog. Oh wait.

President Beeblebrox April 8, 2009 at 7:07 pm

Remember, folx… they surround us.

Glenn Beck said so.

Uncle Glenny April 8, 2009 at 7:19 pm

[re=284357]grevillea[/re]: WIN!

Will work for shoes April 8, 2009 at 8:47 pm

[re=284029]BillyClubb[/re]: Well, everyone knows teabags won’t fit through the toobz…

badmuthagoose April 8, 2009 at 10:18 pm

Ok, seriously and all: I had NO idea the Dems being in power would be THIS dadgummed hilarious. Everything the wingeynutties do is a fukkin laugh riot. I’m dying over here.

ladymacbeth April 8, 2009 at 11:57 pm

i think this was written by a wonketeer.

prime ministress April 9, 2009 at 1:59 am

[re=284113]Tawk[/re]: Read the constitution and follow it! Or something.

rollaire3 April 10, 2009 at 6:53 am

Oh wow dude, that is some serious teabagging!

RT
http://www.web-privacy.us.tc

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