Wonkette
Oh hey here is a novel idea: in order to save our tragically beleaguered financial system, we must 1) replace the management at failing banks and 2) liquidate the banks that are completely hosed beyond repair. This makes sense to pretty much everyone, and our new boyfriend Simon Johnson said something like that a while ago on NPR so it must be true.
Now the congressional oversight panel appointed to monitor the bailout said pretty much the same thing, which is of course (presumably?) not what Tim Geithner wants to hear, as he has not, to date, done either 1 or 2. Instead his solution has been to keep all the bad executives and CEOs in place, pour more liquid cash into the leaking sieve known as America’s large banks, and propose a public-private buyout of “legacy assets” that might allow their owners to keep alive, at least temporarily, the fantasy that their worthless piles of crap hold some actual value.
Naturally, the two members of the five-person panel who disagreed with its findings were Republicans.
The panel also recommended “more transparency,” blah blah blah. Given that the news cycle alternates between the floating of actual economic plans and proposals with the release of scandalous bonus information, any guesses about which failed bank will be in the news tomorrow for giving their top executives hundreds of billions of dollars in exchange for sucking?
Congressional Panel Suggests Firing Managers, Liquidating Banks [Bloomberg]
Explains the ACME Trademark for TARP II.
O/T, but speaking of top executives who are given hundreds of billions of dollars in exchange for sucking…
This sounds a bit like an article about Zombie Banks on NPR in February. They wander around the financial landscape consuming everything edible in their path and are of no benefit to anyone….and we end up shooting them in the head anyway.
We shouldn’t worry about banks and car companies while ACME Products, distributors of deadly rockets, anvils and birdseed, are still in business.
So the moral here is that Wile E. Coyote needed to fire Bob Bobson, CEO of Acme, or let it fail in favor of its competitor, Ridiculous Gadgetry Co, LLC.?
Who is the Roadrunner in this metaphor?
I think that it is exactly what Tim Geithner wants to hear. He wants to replace the management at the failing banks but realizes that it isn’t politically tenable. This gives him cover.
Also, TruckNutz.
Paying billions of dollars for a good sucking is a waste of money. However, I once spent $350 for a Hot Karl from a ladyboy in Bangkok.
Everything will be okay if we can just pump that bubble back up. Keep pumping!
Zadig: Who is the Roadrunner in this metaphor?
China. Definintely China.
queeraselvis v 2.0: “This is a very important vehicle for us. It’s one of the primary legs of the Chrysler stool,”
20mpg? Stool is right.
Mista Eko: I dunno, China doesn’t seem like it’d be all that agile, unless Jackie Chan is your average China dude.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Agreed. I’m pretty sure the outrage over paying these fuckers for being shitty at their jobs would be nothing compared to Geithner riding down the length of Wall Street on a giant boar, bearing Ken Lewis’ head on a pike, a feral warcry exploding from his lungs. It’s the right thing to do, and I’m pretty sure everyone knows it, but just imagine what the wingnutz would say, on their Twitters, and in the middle of freshman congresspersons’ speeches.
Let’s face it, outside of a good child molestation, their is nothing that a Republican cannot make worse.
queeraselvis v 2.0: The Jeep Grand Cherokee is truly a piece of shit, but I’ll be fair to Chrysler here. They really would be missing out on a lot of moneys if they dropped the Grand Cherokee. I work on a wholesale lot, and that’s one of the models that never stays here for more than a day. There will still be buyers for that rolling trash heap after the nuclear winter, and my own brother will be one of them.
Saw the CEO of Chrysler on the teevees this morning. He was rolling out the new Grand Cherokee, not as boxy, based on the Mercedes ML form factor or some shit, good old American engineering, a luxury vehicle. Not, however, as stunning as Chrysler’s razor-keen insight into how to turn themselves around.
Zadig:
Road Runner = Wall St
Roger the Shrubber: but itsa gunna hab a hybreed vertion that gos zoom-zoom at 12 mpg highway! 0w0
Canmon (the Inadequate): Geithner et. al. are worried that nationalizing sucky banks will have an adverse effect on the stock market. What they’re missing is that if stocks are already being propped up by groundless faith in financial institutions then they’re bound to take another tumble anyway — but at least with nationalizing they won’t take out a bunch of healthy banks with them.
They should take action on crappy banks now — the first months of a four-year term is just the worst time to try to kick this down the road.
…fire the bankers? Nah, those fukkers should be burned at the stake for their “economic witchcraft”. Its amazing how it takes a panel of 5 politicians/experts to tell you what literally anyone with high school diploma would have known.
Is that North Korea’s other Taepodong-2 missile?
Zadig: That would be China.
Mista Eko: Ahh! Too slow me!
Scandinavian Fetus: Japan didn’t bother intercepting this launch, because their spy satellite spotted “ACME” written on the fuselage.
Alt text FTW!
Still, I can’t believe that rocket doesn’t have truk nutz.
What’s with that coyote?
Zadig: Plus, there was a coyote hanging on to it.
I’m a Republican and I vote ‘No!’ What was the topic again?
It took a bit of research, but, I finally found out that “Geithner” is slang in German for “sphincter.”
Strangely, it can be classified as a both a noun and a verb.
Zadig: I’m don’t know who the Roadrunner is, but I’m pretty sure the ACME Corporation is comprised entirely of overpaid bank executives.
The individual in the graphic is not W. Coyote, but Bob Livingston, the self-described “ultra conservative” who writes http://www.personalliberty.com, now advertising on Wonkette. Bob is about to launch himself into deep space, where he gets his supply of mysterious dietary supplements and privacy paranoia. Sort of a wingnut Weil, I guess.
Wonkette, you’re a total slut! How many boyfriends do you have?
Zadig: Seriously, if the Nutters are screaming socialism and facism now, imagine the reaction if the banks DO get nationalized. The tea party people will step up and start sending things like Oolong tea or Jamine tea, Glenn Beck will light himself on fire in protest, Sean Hannity will divorce his wife and run off with Michelle Bachmann, John Boner will go up to smoking three packs a day– it’ll be frightening.
Zadig: Your brother is Mark Goodfellow?
queeraselvis v 2.0: That Chryseler Jeep article is sickening. But, now that oil is down, people can continue to drive their SUVs! Screw you ecodriving!
elizabeth warren is awesome. i welcome her as my new overlord.
Hooray For Anything: I would pay good money (or Stash teabags) to see Glenn Beck light himself on fire for any reason.
You know “they” keep insisting on more transparency but I don’t think forcing all those bankers to wear saran wrap instead of 3 piece suits is going to make me feel any better about this.
queeraselvis v 2.0: ‘”This is a very important vehicle for us. It’s one of the primary legs of the Chrysler stool,” Chrysler spokesman Rick Deneau said.’
Ewwww. I wouldn’t want stool with legs… Does it chase him around after he craps it out?
Scandinavian Fetus: It may be the No-dong.
queeraselvis v 2.0: No, but that fucker does come around here every once in a while in his sweatpants, like the srs businessman he is. I’m over at Bruce Motor Co, Covington Pike and Elmore. Come buy our goddamned cars.
Canmon (the Inadequate): I think that it is exactly what Tim Geithner wants to hear. He wants to replace the management at the failing banks but realizes that it isn’t politically tenable. This gives him cover.
I’d really really like to believe this but nothing Timmeh has done so far suggests he has any intention of doing anything of the sort. Last I checked he was sleeping soundly in the back pocket of Vikram Pandit.
Zadig: Come buy our goddamned cars.
Now THAT’S a salesman I can buy a car from!!