Not as sexy :(It was a nail-biter, folks! Illinois’ 5th District held a special election after Rahm Emanuel left his post to go whisper evil imprecations in the ear of our malleable and naive young king, Barack Obama. Two contenders emerged: Cook County Commissioner and known Democrat Mike Quigley, and the deranged Freeper Rosanna Pulido. Ms. Pulido put up a valiant fight, but without national Republican support could not prevail over the Democratic Machine, which decided to put Quigley over the top with oh like 70 percent of the vote. What is this, Russia? [Chicago Tribune]

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  1. The question is how long will it take the new congressman to realize it just wasn’t worth it to get a phone call in the middle of the night from some hypercaffeinated ballet dancer with a semi-Chicago accent screaming, “Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigley!!!!”

  2. Largely meaningless so-called by-election. Nothing to do with Britain, where Rahm E would have to run for his own seat, or to save his own ass, or something. Whatever.

  3. Quigley told supporters at a North Side tavern that he knows he will initially be recognized in Washington as “the guy taking Rahm Emanuel’s seat,”…

    Rahm Emanuel always thought of it as his fucking seat.

  4. Mike Quigley Is Your New Rahm Emanuel

    So he’s a 9½-fingered shouty Jew who’s helping give away trillions to undeserving failed banks & their failure managers? Or just another powerless freshman rep about to get pwned by Cantor’s beyond-silly youtube ambushes? And when I say pwned I mean slightly annoyed, then brushed off like so much lint off a cheap suit.

  5. …but since he didn’t get 110% of the vote in that district, it is obviously shows the failure of Barack Obama’s presidency!!!

  6. Rahm’s coming back after his White House stint, so Quigley better enjoy it while he can (i.e, get a hold of Rahm’s bribe guy).

  7. …they went from Rahm Emmanuel, a guy that looks like he should be a rival boss to Tony Soprano, to some guy named Quigley, who looks like he should be working in a “Bed Bath & Beyond”?! Chicago you FAIL!!!

  8. [re=283621]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: The Chicago Machine must be slipping — Rahm forgot to vote, the block captains forgot to give out the silver dollars outside the polls, and the ward bosses forgot to wake up the cemeteries. Come on Junior, get it together or pretty soon there’ll be a Republican on the Sanitary Commission!

  9. I’m just pleased that the Dems are running a real Moran for the next gov of Virginia. Sez right there in the Wonkette sidebar ads.

  10. [re=283598]DoctorCulturae[/re]: “When will they have the ceremonial digit circumcision?”

    You mess up, you lose a finger.
    You miss a payment, you lose a finger.
    You cross me, you lose a finger.

  11. [re=283958]Will work for shoes[/re]: I guess the Pat Sajak part is the 30% Republican piece and the cheeks make up the 70% Democratic share.

  12. Why in the name of all that is holy is there an ad for SARAH (Palin) PAC here? I thought I was safe here, and that her name could only be mentioned here as part of ridicule and snark!

  13. [re=284467]searanch[/re]: Our esteemed Wonkette editors gotta eat, too, brah. The funny needs more fuel than hobo beans and brackish water.

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