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TURD SACKS

Rick Warren Loves Gay Marriage!

Fat queer Mexican porn narrator Rick Warren is still trying to fix his “image” after saying that married gay people only want to fuck and gay-marry rabbits and elephants and children: “You know Larry, there was a story within a story that never got told in the first place. I am not an anti-gay or anti-marriage activist. Never have been, never will be. During the whole Proposition 8 thing, I never once went to a meeting, never once issued a statement. Never once even gave an endorsement in the two years Prop. 8 was going.” [OC Register, YouTube]


3:59 PM on Tue April 7 2009
By Jim Newell
2027 Views

  1. iwillsavethispatient says at 4:02 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Has he apologized for an awful sermon at the inauguration yet?

  2. Gopherit says at 4:03 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Right. He didn’t take a position until a few days before the election, which is totally like remaining neutral.

  3. Dave J. says at 4:05 pm, April 7th, 2009

    He does kind of look like “El Generalisimo,” Alec Baldwin’s telenovela doppelganger on 30 Rock.

  4. sanantonerose says at 4:07 pm, April 7th, 2009

    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice, Rick.

  5. NewSpence says at 4:07 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Rick Warren gives the bear community a bad name.

  6. ChernobylSoup says at 4:07 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I won’t believe him until he proves it by getting gay-married.

  7. Texan Bulldoggette says at 4:08 pm, April 7th, 2009

    “Fat queer Mexican porn narrator” Gawd, Jim, you’re a freaking hoot!

  8. One Yield Regular says at 4:09 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I coulda sworn I saw this guy hanging outside Badlands during the annual Bear gathering.

  9. NoWireHangers says at 4:09 pm, April 7th, 2009

    It’s too late Rick, Dan Savage already “santorum’d” you:

    http://www.saddlebacking.com/

  10. Sussemilch says at 4:09 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Everyone loves gay marriage. It’s absolutely fabulous.

    When I heard that Ann Coulter had asked Bill O’Reilly to be her best man when she marries Michelle Malkin, I teared up… such a beautiful thing, these loving Republicans.

  11. choinski says at 4:09 pm, April 7th, 2009

    What a week. Iowa, Vermont, perhaps New hampshire and D.C., and…Maine? I’m running out of state lines to cross when I want to legally escape my husband.

  12. OffTheRecord says at 4:11 pm, April 7th, 2009

    iwillsavethispatient: More particularly, has he apologized to Sasha for making her name sound like a spicy Mexican dish?

  13. Varchar says at 4:12 pm, April 7th, 2009

    He knows we have the Google, right?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o4QqGbQmU0

  14. bitchincamaro says at 4:12 pm, April 7th, 2009

    He’s got lyin’ eyes, and a purdy mouth.

  15. Schadenfried says at 4:13 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Fat queer Mexican porn narrator

    These are hard-working people who only want to make an honest living, to lump (P)Rick Warren with this group is immoral! Also.

  16. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 4:14 pm, April 7th, 2009

    “I called up my gay black friends and said I’m sorry, I just can’t support this whole gay marriage civil rights thing.”

    /fixed

  17. BigDupa says at 4:14 pm, April 7th, 2009

    “I love the gays, Larry. In fact I’ll change the name of my church to “Brokeback” or “Bareback” and incorporate Abba songs into the liturgy. You know who hates the queers? Joel Olsteen. Look it up Larry. Gotta go. Buy my book. Out.”

  18. The Helvetica Scenario says at 4:15 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Sashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

  19. bitchincamaro says at 4:15 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Varchar: Win!

  20. Roger3815 says at 4:16 pm, April 7th, 2009

    With friends like Rick who needs enemies?

    Thanks but no thanks, Rick.

  21. HomoPolitico says at 4:18 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Rick Warren: “I resent the mean gayz for saying I was mean to them”

    Gayz: “GTFO! Buttsecks! Also!”

  22. Scarab says at 4:19 pm, April 7th, 2009

    “Larry, let me be perfectly clear. I never wanted a goatee, I never grew a goatee, I never wore a goatee.”

  23. bfstevie@yahoo.com says at 4:20 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Sussemilch: Do we know where they’re registered? Will Michelle Bachmann be the maid of honor? Wouldn’t their union be wrong because they are not of the same race?

  24. Serolf Divad says at 4:22 pm, April 7th, 2009

    “Saddleback” isn’t that a gay sex position?

  25. HomoPolitico says at 4:24 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Waitaminute…when did we give gays the vote?

  26. Iggy Plop says at 4:24 pm, April 7th, 2009

    So that statement makes him, what, a liar?

  27. Hedley Lamar says at 4:32 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I’m pretty sure I saw him at the last NAMBLA meeting. He was the one
    in the ass-less chaps doing face painting demos.

  28. tunamelt says at 4:32 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Lying is a sin. Ooooh, gotchoo buddy.

  29. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:33 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Varchar: I just posted what you linked, because it is incredible.

  30. Come here a minute says at 4:39 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I love the term “gay-married” — it’s like “male nurse”. There’s no need for the qualifier, but it’s just better that way, because, why not?

  31. Colander says at 4:41 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Some of Rick’s best friends are gay marriage.

  32. Cicada says at 4:42 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Iggy Plop: Yes, I do believe his pants have passed the smoldering stage and have burst into flame.

    Why does he think he can get away with a lie, when the proof of the lie was aired on national TV?

    What a dumb fuck.

  33. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 4:46 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Dear Rick:
    Ordinarily we would tell you to eat a bag of dicks, but that’s too goodly gay for you. So instead, how about indulging in a refreshing Drano colonic?
    No love,
    Teh Gehz

  34. Schadenfried says at 4:50 pm, April 7th, 2009
  35. sevenrepeat says at 4:50 pm, April 7th, 2009

    today is a rather gay day on wonkette!! lots o’ gay topics. i almost feel like a catholic republican.

  36. Hart88 says at 4:54 pm, April 7th, 2009

    So other than forcefully supporting Prop 8 and saying that homosexuality is an abomination, Warren totally supports Teh Gays. Got it.

  37. Varchar says at 4:56 pm, April 7th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: I’m honored! But spell my name right, you brigand!

  38. Hart88 says at 4:57 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Varchar: seriously, WTF?

  39. loudmouthredhead says at 5:01 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Jim, your first 5 words of this post took all of my potential snarking opportunities out of this thread…SO THANKS FER THAT

  40. loudmouthredhead says at 5:06 pm, April 7th, 2009

    NewSpence: Is he a bear, a furry, or what? I am trying to imagine the headline when he’s outed…

  41. randomsausage says at 5:19 pm, April 7th, 2009

    liar, liar, hairpiece on fire

  42. Gopherit says at 6:20 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I wonder what Rick charges for mustache rides? Everlasting life?

  43. wickedlittledoll says at 6:20 pm, April 7th, 2009

    What he should be apologizing for is the very eye-sore that is his existence.

    http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

  44. Harvey Birdman says at 6:43 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Jesus, just look at that goatee. I’ll say this for the suburbs: you can’t tell if it’s 1994 or 2015.

  45. sati demise says at 7:07 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Varchar: does his nose look ‘too red’ in this film?
    He looks like he is a bit drunk, had drink taken, hit the bottle, took a swig, had a Martini lunch.

  46. Bearbloke says at 7:44 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Oh Rick - always a bridesmaid douchebag, never a bride decent human being…

  47. Bearbloke says at 7:47 pm, April 7th, 2009

    NewSpence: OH HELLZ NO! He’s NOT part of the Bear Community, in any way at any time… don’t send that evil gasbag through our parade…

  48. Bearbloke says at 7:52 pm, April 7th, 2009

    One Yield Regular: Only because they wouldn’t let him in and he wouldn’t take the hint to fuck off…. besides, the real party was at Buffalo - but don’t tell (p)Rick!!

  49. Jollity says at 8:19 pm, April 7th, 2009

    But it’s okay, because he’s lying for the sake of his powerful position in the world of TV evangelists Jesus.

    Seriously, that’s one of the ten commandments, Rick. Isn’t it odd how these so-called “Christians” can make a huge hairy fat deal out of the whole gay thing (which many people think is based on a mistranslated or misinterpreted excerpt of the Bible) and yet completely throw the ten commandments - you know, the main rules, the “if you can’t do any of the rest of it, at least do these” ones - out of the window. I seem to remember Rick Warren lying about this stuff a few months back, saying that he never compared gay marriage to incest and bestiality. With all the fires started in his pants, he must have the most charred bottom in all the land.

  50. RoscoePColtraine says at 8:29 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Harvey Birdman: Rick Warren and Chuck Todd wear a goatee for the same reason.

  51. comradepaulson says at 9:09 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Rick Warren practices the purpose driven buttsecks.

  52. Jukesgrrl says at 9:44 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Does that that very gay ad for Red Energy Patch automatically come up whenever Rick Warren’s name is used on Wonkette?

    comradepaulson: FTW.

  53. smashtheduck says at 9:49 pm, April 7th, 2009

    One Yield Regular: Don’t get out much? It’s been “Apex” for a few years now.

  54. rocktonsammy says at 10:09 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Note to Mush Windbag…

    Color touch up aren’t slimming either.

  55. PsycGirl says at 10:14 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Not that this logically follows, but Pharyngula has a link to a story about a Focus on the Family figure who got in a little trouble with pedophilia
    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/04/so_thats_what_focus_on_the_fam.php#comments

    The noteworthy aspect is that it’s heterosexual pedophilia.

  56. PsycGirl says at 10:16 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Sussemilch: That’s not gay marriage, because Malkin is the only female.

  57. SayItWithWookies says at 11:11 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Don’t forget that his church’s website said it wouldn’t accept gays — right up until he removed it.

  58. Buzz Feedback says at 12:20 am, April 8th, 2009

    Hit in the chin w/more balls than Pete Rose.

  59. President X says at 1:59 am, April 8th, 2009

    I liked Rick Warren better when he was Gran Khali: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MalI80HUZ9w&feature=related

    But seriously, did Pastor Rick REALLY say these things to austere, celibate, leftwingnut Larry King???

    You know Larry, there was a story within a story a story within a story a story within a story a story within a story that I like to tell in order to scrub my whitey ass image. I am not an anti-gay or anti-marriage activist. Never have been, never will be. During the whole Preparation H thing, I never once went to a dyke bar, never once issued an accidental Feudian slip or lisped.

    “The week before the vote, somebody on my couch, a Marine buddy about to leave for Irak, said, ‘Pastor Rick, what do you think about this?’ And he passed me a note inside a box of popcorn, but, Oh boy, there was more than a note or popcorn in that box of buttered yum yum! And I actually believe that marriage really should be defined - that that definitions should be saved between - - that that a man and a woman – aw, you know what I mean. And then all of a suddenly out of it they made me, you know something that I really wasn’t. …I’m not queer!

    “I wrote to all my gay friends, the leaders and the followers, the Ads and the CDs, the bottoms and the butches that I knew and actually apologized to them. That never got out, thank goodness. There were some things said - everybody should be 10% bisexual when it’s convenient or if they run a church and I was asked a question that made it sound like I equated gay marriage with pedophilia or incest which I absolutely do believe in, I am a big fan of animals and children. And I actually announced that. All of the criticism came from people that didn’t know me, just these reporters hanging around late at night after I’d had a few drinks and cruised a few high school kids outside the gym. Not a single criticism came from any gay leader that knows me and knows that for years we’ve been working together on spreading AIDS among the liberals.”

  60. It’s too late! Iowa … and Vermont … in the forefront of the Revolution … have spoken.

  61. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:13 am, April 8th, 2009

    Varchar: That might have to wait, until tomorrow.

  62. arclight says at 11:19 am, April 8th, 2009

    omg rick warren iz sooo ghey!!!!!1111111111 lollerskates! *hugs*

  63. vincetastic says at 12:19 pm, April 8th, 2009

    hahaha Fat queer Mexican porn narrator Rick Warren. I think he’s a closet case myself. Whether you call it Gay Marriage or Civil Union, the basic premise is that every person should have equal rights. It’s good to see that some states are progressing, I made a list on my site of the states I think will legalize Gay Marriage first: http://www.toptentopten.com/topten/first+states+that+will+legalize+gay+marriage

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