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WASILLA HILLBILLIES

Wingnut Blog Suggests Levi Johnston Also Fucking His Sister

Just say it's because you love ESPN.Offered without comment: “What’s even more creepy is that the other person in the picture is his sister. And, as if lifted from the pages of Deliverance, she has his name tattooed on her back. Think about that one for a minute …. Soon Levi will sell his tell all book, delightfully ignoring awkward questions about his relationship with his sister while relishing in the awkward details of his relationship with Sarah Palin.” [RedState]


2:14 PM on Tue April 7 2009
By Ken Layne
5758 Views

  1. bitchincamaro says at 2:16 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I’ve got his name embroidered on my back pocket.

  2. Gopherit says at 2:18 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Like RedState should be insulting their inbred demographic. Who else really reads that shit?

  3. Gopherit says at 2:19 pm, April 7th, 2009

    And how else were Levi’s parents going to teach him to spell his name if they didn’t put it on his sister’s tramp stamp?

  4. Serolf Divad says at 2:19 pm, April 7th, 2009

    SARAH PALIN SET ASIDE A ROOM FOR HER DAUGHTER AND HER BOYFRIEND TO FUCK IN.

    Read that again, Red state. Then read it one more time. Then suck on it, because your girl Sarah Palin is done.

  5. sevenrepeat says at 2:20 pm, April 7th, 2009

    i have his initials monogrammed on a towel set in my bathroom.

  6. HomoPolitico says at 2:20 pm, April 7th, 2009

    “Soon Levi will sell his tell all book, delightfully ignoring awkward questions about his relationship with his sister while relishing in the awkward details of his relationship with Sarah Palin.”

    Are sure that’s from Red State? It sounds a little to coherent, self-aware, and funny. It also lacks ALL CAPS and misspellled werds. No jew/muslin bating either.

    I ask again, are you sure that’s from Red State?

  7. Trot Nixon's Hat says at 2:21 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I think we’re all missing the important thing here: RedState says that the left was correct. Now pardon me, but I’m off to the nearest fallout shelter.

  8. Dave J. says at 2:21 pm, April 7th, 2009

    “And, as if lifted from the pages of Deliverance, she has his name tattooed on her back.”

    Well, actually her wrist. But close enough, right?

  9. Iggy Plop says at 2:22 pm, April 7th, 2009

    If you write for RedState, fucking your own sister is one of those things that’s within the realm of possibility. Not that they’d admit wanting it, but they can actually think about it. After all, it’s not like anyone outside their immediate family is going to let them get within touching distance.

  10. Dave J. says at 2:23 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Also, Ken, it is JohnSTON. As a member of the Johnson clan, I have to demand accuracy in reporting, lest we be grouped with these idiot hicks.

  11. magic titty says at 2:23 pm, April 7th, 2009

    He has a cousin named Burger Kin.

  12. I think the exact quote of the tattoo is, “keep your johnson in you levis, levi”

  13. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:24 pm, April 7th, 2009

    You just know this country is going to hell when two siblings can’t fuck each other without getting negative attention from the Conservative MSM. For shame.

  14. SayItWithWookies says at 2:26 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Dave J.: It was consistently misspelled in the RedState article. If only Erick Erickson’s sister had had Levi’s name tattooed on her back, maybe he would’ve spelled it correctly.

  15. Vegastard says at 2:27 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Dear lord, yet another Red State wishful-thinking poster. Why do they always want to fuck their sisters? Because they remind them of their mothers. Inbred, snaggle-toothed, morbidly obese and drunk.

  16. gjdodger says at 2:28 pm, April 7th, 2009

    She may be a GILF to us, but she’s a plain ol’ MILF to Levi.

  17. Gopherit says at 2:29 pm, April 7th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: Well, they aren’t same sex, shorts. Can you really blame the neo-cons? It’s not right!

  18. KilgoreTrout_XL says at 2:30 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Ohai Erich, funny you should mention this, since I hear he’s fucking Monica Goodling too.

    I don’t know much else, except that he’s a gymnast, and it’s the best sex she’s ever had.

  19. Special Agent Jack Mehoff says at 2:35 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Gopherit: Come on gopher. Everybody knows it’s okay for a Republican man to fuck a girl if they’re related. For space Christ’s sake, get your facts together.

  20. Madeline says at 2:35 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Those RedState commenters crack me up. They’re “gonna tear Levi down” because that will somehow be a huge blow to the “liberal media” and the “Dims”. WTF?

  21. freakishlystrong says at 2:35 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I’m proud of bein’ a stinkin’ Librul, really, these people are up their armpits in teh crazy…

  22. hockeymom says at 2:36 pm, April 7th, 2009

    The comments on Red State are scary. One guy had the nerve to point out that
    A. Palin has too much baggage at this point and B. the picture of Levi, his sister and their weapons did not make them look like responsible gun owners.

    You would have thought the guy had posted something about being for gay marriage in socialist Vermont. Not a real big tent, over there.

  23. user-of-owls says at 2:36 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Dear Red Statists,

    Could you please clarify for me exactly how we should characterize rural, consertative, church-going, family oriented gun owners?

    Should we call them ’sister-fuckers’ or ‘real Americans’?

  24. gurukalehuru says at 2:37 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Levi is, of course, an anagram of both vile and evil, but I’m sure you’d all thought of that.

  25. user-of-owls says at 2:38 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Madeline: Well you saw the devastation to the left’s agenda that resulted when these fine folks turned on their closet lights and cat fountains, didn’t you?

  26. Mild Midwesterner says at 2:40 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Am I correct in assuming that the sister-f*cking is still illegal in Vermont?

  27. Texan Bulldoggette says at 2:40 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Serolf Divad: “SARAH PALIN SET ASIDE A ROOM FOR HER DAUGHTER AND HER BOYFRIEND TO FUCK IN.”

    Snowbilly’s probably one of those moms who also buys booze & lets their teens drink at home, so they can party with them & sleep with their daughter’s boyfriends. (Has anyone done a DNA test on Trip/Trig–whatever the fuck Palin’s kids name is?)

  28. WadISay says at 2:41 pm, April 7th, 2009

    And he will be greeted as a hero by the left because boosting him hurts Sarah Palin. And principles be damned when it comes to savaging the Governor of Alaska and her family. –Redstate

    Sweetheart, those are my principles.

  29. user-of-owls says at 2:41 pm, April 7th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Sorry, but viz. your other post reference to duct tape, here’s a ditty from my grad school days:

    All around the mulberry bush,
    the monkey chased the weasel,
    the monkey forgot the electrical tape,
    Pop goes the weasel!

  30. pat robertsons personal trainer says at 2:43 pm, April 7th, 2009

    that’s not missSerolf Divad: that’s not missle defense we can believe in.

  31. Banjos?

  32. El Pinche says at 2:43 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Redstate makes a killing for its patented ALL-CAPS to lower case converter.

  33. Paterlanger says at 2:45 pm, April 7th, 2009

    After the public tragedy of Bristol’s out of wedlock pregnancy all Americans share a small scar. Today we are all Mercedes Johnston.

  34. Tommmcatt says at 2:46 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette:

    Levi: Oh God. Oh, let me out.
    Mrs. Palin: Don’t be nervous.
    Levi: Get away from that door.
    Mrs. Palin: I want to say something first.
    Levi: Jesus Christ.
    Mrs. Palin: Levi, I want you to know that I’m available to you, and if you won’t sleep with me this time…
    Levi: Oh, my Christ.
    Mrs. Palin: If you won’t sleep with me this time I want you to know that you can call me up anytime you want and we’ll make some kind of arrangement.
    Levin: Oh…
    Mrs. Palin: Do you understand what I…
    Levi: Let me out.
    Mrs. Palin: Levi,, do you understand what I just said?
    Levi: Yes! Yes. Let me out!
    Mrs. Palin: I find you very attractive.

  35. Ken Layne says at 2:48 pm, April 7th, 2009

    HomoPolitico: Erick is a pretty good writer. His subject matter is another thing altogether …..

  36. Ken Layne says at 2:49 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Dave J.: I know I know! I pasted it in from RedState, which bizarrely spelled his name wrong. Corrected.

  37. Ken Layne says at 2:49 pm, April 7th, 2009
  38. NoWireHangers says at 2:50 pm, April 7th, 2009

    You know, I finally watched about 30 seconds of Levi’s interview with TyTy, and I felt sorry for him. I thought, gee this kid is a dumb, poor thing. Poor kid. It’s like he just stumbled into the national news when all he wanted was some hot teen sex. It’s what teens do. Now he’s wearing a blue vest on Tyra’s couch. And what will his life ever amount to either? He’s not Joe the Plumber. I felt bad for the kid. Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age. Who knows, maybe he can still make something of himself. It’s never too late for ITT Technical Institute. They have those in Alaska, right?

  39. Woodwards Friend says at 2:51 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Say what you will about Levi’s sister but she didn’t get pregnant from fucking Levi.

  40. Colander says at 2:52 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Someone pointed out that they probably have one of those “us against the world” relationships you find in family’s where your mom is a total drug dealer.

  41. Ken Layne says at 2:52 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Tommmcatt: That is beyond terrible, to contemplate.

  42. McDuff says at 2:55 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Looks like the Snow Governor bought Bill and Hillary’s old “smear machine” on E-bay.

  43. Gopherit says at 2:55 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Woodwards Friend: haha! Exactly right. No conservatard she.

  44. 4tehlulz says at 2:57 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Tommmcatt: Looks like I’m doubling-down on the Ativan tonight. Thanks a lot.

  45. Colander says at 2:58 pm, April 7th, 2009

    McDuff: Seriously, this is such an ex-girlfriend-who-hates-you kind of rumor.

  46. S.Luggo says at 3:01 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Mild Midwesterner: No. There must always be trade-offs.

  47. magic titty says at 3:05 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Tommmcatt: Awesome.

  48. Bearbloke says at 3:05 pm, April 7th, 2009

    freakishlystrong: is THAT what that smell is!?

  49. S.Luggo says at 3:06 pm, April 7th, 2009
  50. ManchuCandidate says at 3:10 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Tommmcatt:

    And here’s to you, Governor Palin,
    Red State loves you more than you will know.
    You betchya, please Governor Palin.
    The wingnuts will toss star bursts your way,
    Hey, hey, hey

    We’d like to know a little bit about you and Levi
    We’d like to ask if you wanted Levi for yourself.
    Look around you all you see are sympathetic eyes,
    We’ll shoot wolves from helos until you feel at home.

    And here’s to you, Governor Palin,
    Red State loves you more than you will know.
    You betchya, please, Governor Palin.
    The wingnuts will toss star bursts your way,
    Hey, hey, hey

  51. joezoo says at 3:10 pm, April 7th, 2009

    David Duke has Erick Erickson’s name tattooed on his perineum.

  52. Capitol Hillbilly says at 3:14 pm, April 7th, 2009

    GITTES: Katherine?… Katherine who?
    EVELYN: she’s my daughter.
    he slaps her
    GITTES:I said the truth!
    EVELYN: she’s my sister –
    Gittes slaps her again.
    EVELYN: she’s my daughter.
    Gittes slaps her again.
    EVELYN: my sister.
    He hits her again.
    EVELYN: My daughter, my sister –
    He belts her finally, knocking her into a cheap Chinese
    vase which shatters and she collapses on the sofa,
    sobbing.
    GITTES: I said I want the truth.
    EVELYN: (almost screaming it) She’s my sister and my daughter!

  53. Bearbloke says at 3:16 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Woodwards Friend: that because the Johnston family house-rule regarding ejaculates is “on me, not in me”… but outsiders like Sarah Bristol Palin are fair game for redneck splooge!

  54. The wingnut implosion continues, heading several hundred miles below the earth’s surface. Nothin’ like red state sister doinking.

  55. Schadenfried says at 3:23 pm, April 7th, 2009

    People in glass houses, Redstate….also.

  56. Boo_Boo_Hoff says at 3:30 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Tommmcatt: Levi: Mrs. Palin, I think you’re trying to seduce me.

  57. threeb says at 3:33 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Am I the only one who foresees a hunting “accident” in Levi’s future?

  58. Boo_Boo_Hoff says at 3:34 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Does Levi make Sis squeal like a pig?

  59. Bearbloke says at 3:44 pm, April 7th, 2009

    threeb: of course not, silly!

    “Hey look - Levi got an invite to the Palin’s next ‘Full Moon costume party’… and it came with a real cool-looking wolf costume!”

  60. threeb: Maybe Levi will stumble on Hale Boggs’ Cessna, and that’s a Cessna to nowhere.

  61. S.Luggo says at 3:55 pm, April 7th, 2009

    threeb: Given Levi’s apprenticeship, the accident will involve an AC socket, a pool of water, and an inserted screw driver. Levi, adieu.

  62. Woodwards Friend says at 4:12 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Bearbloke: Thank you for that information.

  63. jasper-f-krone says at 4:47 pm, April 7th, 2009

    “The Left”? Is that like “The Edge” or “Rihanna”? When will these people start using their last names?!

  64. Mara47 says at 5:05 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Isn’t it a riot how they’re spinning Levi (and, apparently, any of the other wreckage associated with Sarah Palin) to be a dastardly plot of “the Left”? ppfftt. Like we couldn’t do better than that with the material they keep giving us.

  65. Kev-O-Tron says at 5:07 pm, April 7th, 2009

    The guy’s banging his sister, also? That’s fucking gross, also.

  66. Bearbloke says at 5:26 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Kev-O-Tron: No it’s not, Heathen! It’s God-ordained, Biblically-sanctioned incestuous HETERO-sex, you Accursed Sodomite, you!

  67. Mustang says at 5:30 pm, April 7th, 2009

    I am so impressed with these people who are raising the bar for white trash. Useta anybody could be trash. Now you gotta work at it.

  68. Tommmcatt says at 5:59 pm, April 7th, 2009

    ManchuCandidate:

    DING DING DING DING! I knew I could count on you….

  69. americanscandoanything says at 7:06 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Time for Levi to share those pictures Bristol sexmessaged him

  70. Bearbloke says at 7:36 pm, April 7th, 2009

    americanscandoanything: you mean the pix from after the had the alleged baby, and her Vag looked like a moldy catcher’s mitt? Pass!

  71. Alpha O. Mega says at 9:02 pm, April 7th, 2009

    S.Luggo: I thought siblingfucking was normal only in West Virginia, but maybe I’m confusing it with cousinfucking.

  72. Alpha O. Mega says at 9:15 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Amidst all the rumors during the campaign about who Trig’s mother was, did anyone bother to ask who his father was? If Levi is the father of both Trig and Tripp, then what is the relationship between Trig and Tripp? Can one’s half brother simultaneously be one’s nephew?

  73. TeddyS says at 9:41 pm, April 7th, 2009

    Easter dinner at the governor’s mansion, with the whole family invited in the spirit of Christian forgiveness, will begin with a prayer and end either with dessert or gunfire. The seating chart will be critical.

  74. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 3:07 am, April 8th, 2009

    Most unknowingly ironic blog post ever!

  75. Scandinavian Fetus says at 8:14 am, April 8th, 2009

    I have his initials shaved into my back hair.

  76. Aloysius says at 1:40 pm, April 22nd, 2009

    gurukalehuru: “Levi is, of course, an anagram of both vile and evil, but I’m sure you’d all thought of that.”

    Really, you give this boy WAY too much credit to fret over his anagram. His name has more to do with singular vs. plural proper nouns. Example:

    Q: Ms. Sherry, do you wear Levi’s?
    A: No, just one pair at a time.

    Q: Ms. Sherry, was daughter named after a car?
    A: No, I thought it would be cool to name her Mermaid Sadie Hawkin because, you know, Cher is pretty awesome and totally picked up that Almond Brother guy. And Hawken is a kind of ancient rifle used by Indians and shit, so I combined it into ‘Mercede’ and dropped the ’s’ so people wouldn’t confuse her with a Jew-killin’ Nazi sedan.

  77. aflurry says at 2:00 pm, April 22nd, 2009

    gurukalehuru: That would explain my jeans.

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