hollywood liberals

Famous Marijuana Actor To Work In White House

Those of you that watch the television drama House noticed last night that famous actor Kal Penn’s character committed suicide. Oh yes, uh, SPOILER ALERT, a few words ago. Well guess what, he’s not dead in real life, yet! In fact the reason he committed suicide on the teevee is so he could go work in the Obama White House, as the character in the above clip. Get scared, Real America! WHEEE…

Entertainment Weekly has the scoop!

I understand it was your decision to leave House. True?
KAL PENN: Yes. I was incredibly honored a couple of months ago to get the opportunity to go work in the White House. I got to know the President and some of the staff during the campaign and had expressed interest in working there, so I’m going to be the associate director in the White House office of public liaison. They do outreach with the American public and with different organizations. They’re basically the front door of the White House. They take out all of the red tape that falls between the general public and the White House. It’s similar to what I was doing on the campaign.

He will be picking up tea bags from the White House lawn all day, and nothing else.

‘House’ exclusive: The shocking story behind last night’s big death [EW]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Crab1

    NPH!

  • Hart88

    Glenn Beck just shit himself.

  • DollarStorePregnancyTest

    NOOOOOOO! Some of us without teevees have to watch pirated episodes on the internets. Guess when those episodes go up? (Hint, it hasn’t happened yet).

  • El Pinche

    ITS NOT LUPUS !!!1!!!

  • ManchuCandidate

    The WH Kitchen makes Sliders right?

  • AxmxZ

    I ma now marginally less angry with the writers of the show. They still have a lot of shark-jumpage to answer for.

  • slithytoves

    Fuck! I hadn’t watched that, yet….

  • tunamelt

    I’d hit it.

  • StripesAndPlaids

    Well, you saved me an hour with my TiVO. Thanks, Wonkette!

  • rcdl

    The question is: Does he have enough mistakes in doing his taxes to effectively serve in this administration?

  • Gopherit

    He’s totally going to be the White House weed hook-up. Dealer in Chief ain’t bad Kal.

  • isadelia

    [re=282896]El Pinche[/re]: Or cancer!!1!

  • sevenrepeat

    i love house….house music!! aw yeah, i feel the gay in me coming back!! vermont, here i come!!

  • Mild Midwesterner

    Since Taj is working for Obama, does that make Van Wilder the president?

  • bitchincamaro

    “Oh yes, uh, SPOILER ALERT, a few words ago.” Win.

  • El Pinche

    [re=282901]AxmxZ[/re]: They jumped on a great white with an online memorial:

    http://www.fox.com/kutner

  • Leopolt

    This is clearly a plot against Indian-Americans on the TV. First it was Johnny Quest’s sidekick Hadjji, then the retarded kid (Sanjit? Sayesh? Tupac?) on Idol last year, now it’s the brown guy from House. Soon, they’ll cancel Piyush Jindal’s comedy show after the presidential addresses.

  • El Pinche

    [re=282920]Leopolt[/re]: “..Soon, they’ll cancel Piyush Jindal’s comedy show after the presidential addresses.”
    HAHAHA! Super win.

  • BEE

    I am so angry Wonkette. What.The.F*ck! Not cool, man. Not cool.

  • CrunchyKnee

    [re=282895]DollarStorePregnancyTest[/re]: PeeCees are so much more morally superior than TeeVees.

  • gurukalehuru

    Kumar goes to the White House!

  • wx insider

    Just wait… he’ll get Hopey to call a real “joint” session of Congress!

  • CrunchyKnee

    [re=282918]El Pinche[/re]: God damn, how I love the Internet so.

  • P Drizzle

    Could the good (former) doctor convince congress to have a bipartisan smoke-out? I mean, what better way to boost legislative efficiency, dude! How shitty is DC pizza?

  • StripesAndPlaids

    [re=282913]sevenrepeat[/re]: NOOOO!!!! Pray out the Gays! Ted Haggart with get on his knees for you. I mean with you.

  • AxmxZ

    [re=282918]El Pinche[/re]: Everything since the Tritter arc has been essentially re-arranging doll furniture in a hell-bound handbasket.

  • Come here a minute

    [re=282896]El Pinche[/re]: Nor vasculitis.

  • policonoclast

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otzs7S8GRt4

    as if rural white america wasn’t already freaking out about their daughters…..

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=282905]tunamelt[/re]: Me too!

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Shrines, columns and bulletin boards about an actor moving on from a t.v. show — talk about a 30 megaton hint about how lonely so many people are. After all these years, it still irritates that Hubert “The Hump” Humphrey could have been so right when he talked about t.v. alleviating the epidemic of loneliness.

  • Gopherit

    [re=282990]policonoclast[/re]: That is the clip that got him the job, I’m sure.

  • hobospacejunkie

    He will be picking up tea bags from the White House lawn all day, and nothing else.

    And serving cockmeat sandwiches to White House guests.

    After hours NPH will drop by to get his fuck on and ROCK OUT WITH HIS COCK OUT!

  • Fear of a Black Reagan

    Boy, he’s now got almost as many Hindoo red-dots working for him as he’s got Jews! And this guy’s supposed to be a Muslin?

  • Fear of a Black Reagan

    I am so angry Wonkette. What.The.F*ck! Not cool, man. Not cool.

    SPOILER: The first 3 treatments they try do not work. The seeming recovery around 42 min. in is a false one. That is every episode of House.

  • Reed

    NOOO!!!!! You’ve ruined the episode for me! It’s DVR’ed so I haven’t yet watched it. :-(

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!

    Apart from that, awesome step up for Kal. I knew he was politically active, but I didn’t know he was qualified for office.

  • Come here a minute

    [re=283037]hobospacejunkie[/re]: No, it is not Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus either.

  • El Pinche

    [re=283008]Gopherit[/re]: Apparently, the vetting process didn’t catch “Van Wilder 2 – Rise of Taj”

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    Don’t you see? Obama is just offering us his promised Hope here. Hope that 13 will kill herself, Taub will actually quit, Cameron will dye her hair back to a color that looks marginally attractive on her, and they will start forcing her and Chase to make out (since they broke up in real life, that part promises happy action fun time tension!). They will then chain the various and sundry minions to the wall and let House interact solely with Wilson and Cuddy, as God intended.

  • Zadig

    [re=283050]El Pinche[/re]: And that will be reason enough for Republican congressgoblins to call for his removal.

  • HipHopOpotamus

    Did he already have an Indian in his staff, or was the position open since Sanjay the failed American Idol/neurosurgeon turned him down?

  • DollarStorePregnancyTest

    [re=282933]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Who said anything about moral superiority? I’m broke, yo. I ain’t got no monies for television and cable.

  • Lily Brown

    Super not cool, dudes. You guys are racist towards non-tv owners.

  • horned_viper

    What no Harold and Kumar 3?

  • AxmxZ

    [re=283057]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: And Wilson will finally come to terms with his love for House. And House will be very uncomfortable with it. And somewhere about a hundredy yards away, on the set of Bones, Stephen Fry will sigh piteously for no apparent reason.

  • imissopus

    Have any RedStaters started freaking out yet about Hopey hiring the guy who starred in a movie that portrayed W as a stoner with a daddy complex? I’m afraid to look.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=283343]imissopus[/re]: Not to mention a movie that portrayed the Gitmo guards as hulking homosexual rapists.

  • Min

    I love ‘im, but his name sounds like a prison in southern California.

  • DemmeFatale

    [re=283304]AxmxZ[/re]: Sounds like you saw their show: “A Bit of Fry and Laurie,” in the early 90’s. Amirite?

  • AxmxZ

    [re=283393]DemmeFatale[/re]: That show was the probably the most amount of comedy any two people ever managed to squeeze out of one single and actually rather sad concept.

  • totoro

    Drug czar, people. Drug czar.

  • Trace

    Oh, it’s not a spoiler for me. Those buttfucks at yahoo spoiled it on the front page when I signed in today.

    Buttfucks!

    …I love saying that. I’m not even angry anymore.

  • sorkiniac

    it’s NEVER lupus…