today in chicago area politics

Exciting Congressional Election Determines Next Rahm Emanuel

Crazier than Michele Bachmann on a Ny-Quil benderSeveral months ago Rahm Emanuel left his post in the House of Representatives and temporarily abandoned his ambitions to become the first nine-and-a-half-fingered Speaker of the House in order to crack skulls for Barack Obama. Today, the specialest of all special elections determines who will “fill his seat.”

The contenders: some insane Free Republic commenter whom even Freepers find offensive, and a Democrat named Mike Quigley. Quigley will obviously win, because he is a Democrat in a heavily Democratic district, the end. But stay tuned! Rosanna Pulido may yet summon an army of swamp zombies to devour any human who goes near a voting booth, which would hand her the election by default.

Quigley favored to replace Emanuel in Congress [AP]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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42 comments

  1. Texan Bulldoggette

    Whenever I see “Quigley”, I think of Mayor Quimby of the Simpsons. Don’t know if that’s good or bad for the good Mr. Quigley, if he can’t beat that crazed Puerto Rican Mexican hater Pulido, aye carumba!

  2. The Unfairman

    [re=282603]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I always think of Quigley Down Under…Tom Selleck in all his mustachioed glory.

  3. jagorev

    Come on, who hasn’t said stupid things online under a pseudonym? My whole life would be ruined if anyone connected my online comments to who I actually am.

  4. ohiolobbyist

    Why isn’t this a “referendum on the President’s budget”? Steele still gets fired when he loses this one, right?

  5. Lemming Caution

    [re=282603]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: crazed *Mexican* Mexican-hater Pulido. Grandfather was a Mexican farm worker; father was born in Texas, but raised in Mexico.

  6. AngryBlakGuy

    …Woman…Mexican…Free Republic Commenter!!! One of these things is not like the others!

  7. Come here a minute

    [re=282606]jagorev[/re]: Saying stupid things online under a pseudonym is the best reason there is to vote for Ms P.

  8. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=282606]jagorev[/re]: …if it ever got out that I was actually a jovial, white woman my life would be ruined!

  9. Guppy06

    [re=282606]jagorev[/re]: Oh, come on. If you actually did something important and meaningful in your life, you wouldn’t be posting online all day to begin with.

  10. jagorev

    [re=282620]PopeyesPipe[/re]: No. Michael Steele, actually.

    [re=282619]Guppy06[/re]: Being the leader of the Republican party is meaningful! You take that back! *sob*

  11. TGY

    I’d hate to be in the shoes of someone who took Rahm’s seat who Rahm didn’t like. Pointe shoes. Uh. Whatever.

  12. Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!

    Yeah, but can she wear a camouflage thong and ammo bandoliers like Bachman? Fap fap fap.

  13. mamandesfilles

    I feel lucky that I managed to vote without getting my brains eaten… maybe she didn’t realize my precinct was in the 5th district. She didn’t even have a sign up.

  14. President Beeblebrox

    [re=282612]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Right, at least K-Lo limits her comments to NRO.

  15. DC Hates Me

    If your campaign poster looks like Blue Screen of Death, it’s time to reboot your campaign.

  16. shortsshortsshorts

    So if Rosanna wins, does this mean her teleprompter will be a long string of all caps? Because that would be, umm, refreshing.

    “WE NEEED IMMIGRATION REFORM, EVERY1. JWON THE CAUZ!”

  17. Oncemorewithgusto

    Before it was Rahm’s seat, it was Blago’s, abandoned when Blago ran for Gov. So this is a verrrry special election indeed.

  18. Mild Midwesterner

    [re=282605]The Unfairman[/re]: Don’t forget about the crazy woman who loved Quigley! The fit is almost too perfect.

  19. Guppy06

    [re=282631]jagorev[/re]: Because, really, you’re not street enough to really be Michael Steele.

  20. space stout

    Quigley’s army of hockey stick weilding zombies will beat the crap outta the Freeper’s zombies hands down.

  21. S.Luggo

    [re=282607]ohiolobbyist[/re]: The referendum happened when John Sweeney’s most recent DWI arrest was upgraded from a misdemeanor to a felony.

  22. lawrenceofthedesert

    Pulido will lose because she wants Latinos to return to the subsistence agriculture they left behind — and Chicago ain’t ready for re-farm.

Comments are closed.