the long knives are out

Teevee Show About The D.C. Ladies To Air This Summer!!!

The “much hyped” television show Blonde Charity Mafia, which will be like The Hills but about rich Georgetown socialites on Late Night Shots, will air this summer on the CW network. This needs to be liveblogged every week as part of Wonkette Summer Sweeps. Specifically we need to get Editor Ken in one of his “moods” and have him liveblog it. [WP/Reliable Source]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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92 comments

  1. shortsshortsshorts

    THIS IS THE MOMENT WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR FOREVER. YOUR LIVES WILL SOON BE REDEFINED. ALL OF YOUR SORROWS WILL CEASE. TUNE IN. TUNE. IN.

  2. qwerty42

    Oh yeah. Have Editor Ken spend the day driving around the Inland Empire, checking out foreclosures, then come back to the ole rancho, a bottle of wild turkey, a .357 mag and live blog Blonde Charity Mafia. That should be very interesting.

  3. Scandalabra

    I thought that only 75% of the world’s population of women were blond. Just another thing about which I have been proven wrong.

  4. Jukesgrrl

    I’m not watching unless there’s a dark-haired Republican minx with glasses who tries unsuccessfully to explain abstinance to her many randy children. From her porch in Beltsville.

  5. irisheyesagain

    Wait- is that not 4 pictures of the same woman? (Note to self: lay off early evening Chardonnay)

  6. Tommy Says Soooo

    I’d hit 3 out of 4. The other one can wear the maid outfit and pick up the used condoms.

  7. cranky

    [re=282408]irisheyesagain[/re]: i was going to write the same fucking thing, and i haven’t had a drop yet. jeebus.

  8. cranky

    i’m getting angry. i’d like to put together a group angry feeders, who will storm their homes and feed them cookies until their collar bones disappear.

  9. Alabama Parrot

    Probably a very interesting television program, but why post photos of the officers of Auburn’s chapter of ADPi?

  10. Brendan M.

    [re=282425]cranky[/re]: So, basically you want to turn them all into Meghan McCain?

  11. rocktonsammy

    At first glance, these ‘ladies’ look like the legal annalist from that O’Reily program.

  12. cranky

    [re=282447]CaliforniaMike[/re]: they are too weak to fight! their arms are tired from blowing dry and alternately curling and ironing their hair for 6 hours a day in order to hide the surgery scars that keep their smiles in places.

  13. hockeymom

    This will only work if Michelle Bachmann shows up to bust them out of whatever pc re-education camp that’s brain-washed them into thinking “charity” is a good thing. And then they all wrestle.

  14. cranky

    [re=282438]Brendan M.[/re]: i was more interested in breaking them down. they would cry and say marvelously stupid and self-pitying things once they’d gained 3 pounds, let alone 30. but sure, mnm-like would be an improvement for my eyes, too. win-win.

  15. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=282442]bago[/re]: Wait a minute, your in SF? E-MAIL me through ShortsandPants, for Jesus.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    When I saw those pictures I thought it was for a show called Bimbette Cloning Mishaps. Hey, anyone know the number for CW?

  17. ah pook

    I can’t wait for the very special episode when one of these stepford wife clowns loses her ass-virginity.

  18. The Helvetica Scenario

    Anyone know the third one’s name? I can swear I went to school with her…

  19. 102415

    What is the name of the sick sad charities? Not Peta or the Acorns I hope. Comando F4 maybe?
    Does it have anything to do with dark haired women drinking and peeing while having their photo taken? I really can’t blame people for wanting to watch that or to contribute their spare change to buy a table for 10. I just reread House of Mirth and really can’t wait to see which one overdoses in a crummy boarding house. Is Crazyeyes Bachmann coming on to add some color to the beigeness and help with a kill? I’m kind of too excited.

  20. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=282471]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: Ya she fucked all the jocks. There were like TONS of rumors and stuff going around how she tried to make her own “Two Girls, One Cup” video. I think it’s “Jenna Bush,” not sure though.

  21. Neilist

    Although, in fairness, the second one from the left looks like the type who might “Throw her best girlfriend into the mix” one night, If-You-Know-What-I-Mean-And-I-Think-You-Do . . . .

  22. 102415

    OT
    I just want to know which commenters will be gay marrying our editors? Where are you registered so we can send you gifts?

  23. Uncle Glenny

    Wonkette isn’t going to leave us with these… um… bimbos as the last post of the evening, are you? Maybe some beefcake?

    [re=282484]102415[/re]: I recognize my unrealistic delusions so didn’t bother to register.

  24. Beer4Prez

    Wait – I thought we defeated the evil republicans and re-conquered DC? I thought I could go back now?

  25. CaliforniaMike

    The only way any of those women are even potentially LA doable would be in numbers greater than one, with them doing teh girl on girl stuff first.

  26. Keram2

    Hahahaha. Just when it looked like D.C. couldn’t set the bar any lower—BAM! D.C. hits us with this.

  27. Neilist

    [re=282505]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Damnit, Mike. I like the way you think. There’s an Executive Vice Presidency in your future, young man. At least . . . .

    Girl Math: Two “7s” doing each other (and you) = 27.

    :::Snort:::

  28. SayItWithWookies

    This is all part of Obama’s socialist plot to run everyone’s life. After viewers see the indulgent, materialistic, superficial lives of the people who sponsor charities, charity as an institution will die in the US — requiring Big Government to step in and take over for the rich ladies who currently attend bachelor auctions and charity balls. Soon we’re immersed in a culture of dependence, unable to scrape together a progressive garden cocktail party without assistance from the neighborhood social commissar. Is this the America we want to live in, people?!

    You can call me crazy, but I just — (wipes tear from eye) — I just love my country.

  29. assistant/atlas

    [re=282440]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Also, all of them want to make me stab myself in the soul.

  30. assistant/atlas

    [re=282505]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Hot damn. Thank you for at least taking me to a positive mental image place. That shirtless Kim Il-Jong picture earlier made my ‘lil atlas have a sad …

  31. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I can’t wait for the episode where Levi Johnston comes to visit and grow up a little.

  32. S.Luggo

    [re=282396]chascates[/re]: None of them are Phillipino maids held in indenture, so think again.

  33. gurukalehuru

    Most influential? I, for one, am glad they opted for style over substance. Otherwise, it’d be, left to right: Madeline Albright, Helen Thomas, Mary Matalin and Ann Coulter.

    I don’t know why I am posting this. I am sorry.

  34. Hart88

    “Rich Georgetown Socialites”, also known as “insufferable 20-somethings giving away daddy’s money”.

  35. forgracie

    [re=282409]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: Just to check my scoring
    1) no 2) yes 3) yes 4) hell yes….

  36. Hedley Lamar

    This show looks like performance art. Welcome to the new Vagina Monologues.
    Now with 50% more vagina and 25% less brains.

  37. thefrontpage

    The four girls in the pictures are hot, but this will be one of the absolute worst piece of shit television shows since the last piece of shit television show debuted last week. Gawd almighty, who on earth needs literal crap like this? Television suits have lost their mind. All of them involved with this excrement should be fired, effective immediately. Everyone involved with this stinking pile of manure needs to be sentenced to spend six months on a remote South Pacific island with no electricity and no computers with Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Mark Foley, Don Sherwood and Ted Stevens.

    Come to think of it–THAT would be a good television show.

  38. Red Zeppelin

    I do not believe that these ladies are real blondes. Do the drapes match the carpet? I need proof–preferably photographic.

  39. thefrontpage

    Someone said “no” to any one of these girls? Come on. I’ll give only one thing on this entire mess: The four girls are hot, and here it’s yes, yes, yes and definately yes.

    And “The Real Housewives of Montgomery County” is hilarious!

  40. Atlas Spanked

    Yawn. More pasty urban nail polish bimbos with a greed complex.

    How about the Real Housewives of Boulder, or Seattle, or San Fransisco?

    Then we’d see hawt.

    Fashion poodles are boring.

  41. El Pinche

    I can’t wait for “The Real Ugly Wives of Appalachia” (originally called “The Bucktooth Bitches of Calhoun County”)

  42. Neilist

    [re=282562]gurukalehuru[/re]: Keep that up, and I’m going to bring out my “Muslim Divorce Kit.”

  43. TGY

    Oh, please. Y’all are a lying bunch of Michele Bachmann hate-fuckers. 1-4 are all acceptable.

Comments are closed.