THE LONG KNIVES ARE OUT  7:42 pm April 6, 2009

Teevee Show About The D.C. Ladies To Air This Summer!!!

by Jim Newell

The “much hyped” television show Blonde Charity Mafia, which will be like The Hills but about rich Georgetown socialites on Late Night Shots, will air this summer on the CW network. This needs to be liveblogged every week as part of Wonkette Summer Sweeps. Specifically we need to get Editor Ken in one of his “moods” and have him liveblog it. [WP/Reliable Source]

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shortsshortsshorts April 6, 2009 at 7:46 pm


comradepaulson April 6, 2009 at 7:49 pm

LNS has a Mafia now? But I thought they weren’t into the ethnics.

chascates April 6, 2009 at 7:56 pm

Is one of these ladies the widow of Strom Thurmond?

Terry April 6, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Liveblogging? I don’t think that’s what most of the guys will actually be doing.

qwerty42 April 6, 2009 at 8:01 pm

Oh yeah. Have Editor Ken spend the day driving around the Inland Empire, checking out foreclosures, then come back to the ole rancho, a bottle of wild turkey, a .357 mag and live blog Blonde Charity Mafia. That should be very interesting.

Scandalabra April 6, 2009 at 8:02 pm

I thought that only 75% of the world’s population of women were blond. Just another thing about which I have been proven wrong.

smashtheduck April 6, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Finally. The world will see the effects of bi-weekly roofie dosing.

Jukesgrrl April 6, 2009 at 8:05 pm

I’m not watching unless there’s a dark-haired Republican minx with glasses who tries unsuccessfully to explain abstinance to her many randy children. From her porch in Beltsville.

sati demise April 6, 2009 at 8:09 pm


Hot wire Editor Ken with Wild Turkey.

irisheyesagain April 6, 2009 at 8:10 pm

Wait- is that not 4 pictures of the same woman? (Note to self: lay off early evening Chardonnay)

Tommy Says Soooo April 6, 2009 at 8:11 pm

I’d hit 3 out of 4. The other one can wear the maid outfit and pick up the used condoms.

ladymacbeth April 6, 2009 at 8:13 pm

this is silly. that one blond chick is wayyy prettier than that other one.

El Pinche April 6, 2009 at 8:13 pm

ARe the Osbournes involved?

jagorev April 6, 2009 at 8:15 pm

From left to right:

F, kill, marry, F

bitchincamaro April 6, 2009 at 8:18 pm

Wait. Charity strippers? I don’t think so.

El Pinche April 6, 2009 at 8:20 pm

We have to do something about this Hasselbeck syndrome epidemic.

cranky April 6, 2009 at 8:24 pm

[re=282408]irisheyesagain[/re]: i was going to write the same fucking thing, and i haven’t had a drop yet. jeebus.

cranky April 6, 2009 at 8:28 pm

i’m getting angry. i’d like to put together a group angry feeders, who will storm their homes and feed them cookies until their collar bones disappear.

polar_bear April 6, 2009 at 8:31 pm

marry, fck, kill, kill

Squiggyfm April 6, 2009 at 8:32 pm

The CW? Dozens of people will be repulsed by their antics!

chascates April 6, 2009 at 8:35 pm

Sara K. & Liz Glover are prettier, classier, and are much more intelligent.

rocktonsammy April 6, 2009 at 8:35 pm

D.C ladies?

So, they have jobs?

Hand and blow ain’t counting as jobs, yet.

cranky April 6, 2009 at 8:41 pm

is it going to be called: Friends (of Elliot Spitzer)

Alabama Parrot April 6, 2009 at 8:43 pm

Probably a very interesting television program, but why post photos of the officers of Auburn’s chapter of ADPi?

Brendan M. April 6, 2009 at 8:46 pm

[re=282425]cranky[/re]: So, basically you want to turn them all into Meghan McCain?

CaliforniaMike April 6, 2009 at 8:47 pm

Out here in LA, none of them are even hittable.

bago April 6, 2009 at 8:48 pm

I saw a pair of shortshorts for sale on mission street today.

Origami April 6, 2009 at 8:53 pm

Are we sure these aren’t all various pictures of the same woman?

CaliforniaMike April 6, 2009 at 9:02 pm

Don’t most DC women look a lot angrier than that?

ManchuCandidate April 6, 2009 at 9:13 pm


shortsshortsshorts April 6, 2009 at 9:14 pm

[re=282451]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Worthy.

smartypants April 6, 2009 at 9:15 pm

[re=282435]Alabama Parrot[/re]: wooooo….you’re in trouble now…..

rocktonsammy April 6, 2009 at 9:20 pm

At first glance, these ‘ladies’ look like the legal annalist from that O’Reily program.

Uncle Glenny April 6, 2009 at 9:20 pm

[re=282427]polar_bear[/re]: fsck, grep, awk, tar

cranky April 6, 2009 at 9:21 pm

[re=282447]CaliforniaMike[/re]: they are too weak to fight! their arms are tired from blowing dry and alternately curling and ironing their hair for 6 hours a day in order to hide the surgery scars that keep their smiles in places.

hockeymom April 6, 2009 at 9:23 pm

This will only work if Michelle Bachmann shows up to bust them out of whatever pc re-education camp that’s brain-washed them into thinking “charity” is a good thing. And then they all wrestle.

cranky April 6, 2009 at 9:23 pm

[re=282438]Brendan M.[/re]: i was more interested in breaking them down. they would cry and say marvelously stupid and self-pitying things once they’d gained 3 pounds, let alone 30. but sure, mnm-like would be an improvement for my eyes, too. win-win.

Buttery1000 April 6, 2009 at 9:25 pm

Blonde Cherry Mafia? I think I downloaded some porn called that.

shortsshortsshorts April 6, 2009 at 9:30 pm

[re=282442]bago[/re]: Wait a minute, your in SF? E-MAIL me through ShortsandPants, for Jesus.

SayItWithWookies April 6, 2009 at 9:32 pm

When I saw those pictures I thought it was for a show called Bimbette Cloning Mishaps. Hey, anyone know the number for CW?

ah pook April 6, 2009 at 9:45 pm

I can’t wait for the very special episode when one of these stepford wife clowns loses her ass-virginity.

The Helvetica Scenario April 6, 2009 at 9:47 pm

Anyone know the third one’s name? I can swear I went to school with her…

102415 April 6, 2009 at 9:52 pm

What is the name of the sick sad charities? Not Peta or the Acorns I hope. Comando F4 maybe?
Does it have anything to do with dark haired women drinking and peeing while having their photo taken? I really can’t blame people for wanting to watch that or to contribute their spare change to buy a table for 10. I just reread House of Mirth and really can’t wait to see which one overdoses in a crummy boarding house. Is Crazyeyes Bachmann coming on to add some color to the beigeness and help with a kill? I’m kind of too excited.

shortsshortsshorts April 6, 2009 at 9:52 pm

[re=282471]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: Ya she fucked all the jocks. There were like TONS of rumors and stuff going around how she tried to make her own “Two Girls, One Cup” video. I think it’s “Jenna Bush,” not sure though.

Neilist April 6, 2009 at 9:52 pm

[re=282440]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Well said, Mike. Well said. And true, too.

Neilist April 6, 2009 at 9:54 pm

Although, in fairness, the second one from the left looks like the type who might “Throw her best girlfriend into the mix” one night, If-You-Know-What-I-Mean-And-I-Think-You-Do . . . .

kudzu April 6, 2009 at 10:12 pm

I’d do’em.

Country Club Jihadi April 6, 2009 at 10:24 pm

“Skanktard Cotillion” will be awesome. I hate them already! Can’t wait.

102415 April 6, 2009 at 10:35 pm

I just want to know which commenters will be gay marrying our editors? Where are you registered so we can send you gifts?

smartypants April 6, 2009 at 10:43 pm

I sense an undertone of bitterness. But it could be the Military Vodka. Also.

Uncle Glenny April 6, 2009 at 11:04 pm

Wonkette isn’t going to leave us with these… um… bimbos as the last post of the evening, are you? Maybe some beefcake?

[re=282484]102415[/re]: I recognize my unrealistic delusions so didn’t bother to register.

Beer4Prez April 6, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Wait – I thought we defeated the evil republicans and re-conquered DC? I thought I could go back now?

Botswana Meat Commission FC April 6, 2009 at 11:09 pm

yes, yes, yes, yes

I know. Going out on a limb…

EjectGoose April 6, 2009 at 11:24 pm

this is going to be terrible. i can’t wait.

CaliforniaMike April 6, 2009 at 11:25 pm

The only way any of those women are even potentially LA doable would be in numbers greater than one, with them doing teh girl on girl stuff first.

Keram2 April 7, 2009 at 12:05 am

Hahahaha. Just when it looked like D.C. couldn’t set the bar any lower—BAM! D.C. hits us with this.

Neilist April 7, 2009 at 12:29 am

[re=282505]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Damnit, Mike. I like the way you think. There’s an Executive Vice Presidency in your future, young man. At least . . . .

Girl Math: Two “7s” doing each other (and you) = 27.


fuckinredneck April 7, 2009 at 12:43 am

They’re going to need a bigger cup.

kona farmer April 7, 2009 at 1:00 am

1= ugga
2= no ugga
3= ugga bugga
4= ugga bugga bugga

SayItWithWookies April 7, 2009 at 1:06 am

This is all part of Obama’s socialist plot to run everyone’s life. After viewers see the indulgent, materialistic, superficial lives of the people who sponsor charities, charity as an institution will die in the US — requiring Big Government to step in and take over for the rich ladies who currently attend bachelor auctions and charity balls. Soon we’re immersed in a culture of dependence, unable to scrape together a progressive garden cocktail party without assistance from the neighborhood social commissar. Is this the America we want to live in, people?!

You can call me crazy, but I just — (wipes tear from eye) — I just love my country.

Guppy06 April 7, 2009 at 1:38 am

[re=282475]102415[/re]: Why not PETA? At least they get nekkid.

assistant/atlas April 7, 2009 at 1:59 am

[re=282440]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Also, all of them want to make me stab myself in the soul.

assistant/atlas April 7, 2009 at 2:02 am

[re=282505]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Hot damn. Thank you for at least taking me to a positive mental image place. That shirtless Kim Il-Jong picture earlier made my ‘lil atlas have a sad …

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 7, 2009 at 2:19 am

I can’t wait for the episode where Levi Johnston comes to visit and grow up a little.

S.Luggo April 7, 2009 at 2:43 am

[re=282396]chascates[/re]: None of them are Phillipino maids held in indenture, so think again.

S.Luggo April 7, 2009 at 2:45 am

[re=282536]kona farmer[/re]: Point well taken.

S.Luggo April 7, 2009 at 3:06 am

And for this we are in Iraq.

gurukalehuru April 7, 2009 at 4:06 am

Most influential? I, for one, am glad they opted for style over substance. Otherwise, it’d be, left to right: Madeline Albright, Helen Thomas, Mary Matalin and Ann Coulter.

I don’t know why I am posting this. I am sorry.

TGY April 7, 2009 at 4:31 am

Oh, this should surpass the culmination of class.

Gin-o-saurus April 7, 2009 at 8:05 am

[re=282417]jagorev[/re]: WIN ! That is the bestest of games.

Mr Blifil April 7, 2009 at 8:54 am

Just arrived DC Stop Three month stay Stop 4 Whorediamond tv shows that annoy Stop

MathewBrooks April 7, 2009 at 8:56 am

“The Real Housewives of Montgomery County”

Mild Midwesterner April 7, 2009 at 9:15 am

The pictures, from left to right: Yes, Yes, No, Yes.

Hart88 April 7, 2009 at 9:26 am

“Rich Georgetown Socialites”, also known as “insufferable 20-somethings giving away daddy’s money”.

forgracie April 7, 2009 at 9:44 am

[re=282409]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: Just to check my scoring
1) no 2) yes 3) yes 4) hell yes….

BigDupa April 7, 2009 at 9:49 am

[re=282434]cranky[/re]: Better yet- “Tuesday Night Take Down”

Hedley Lamar April 7, 2009 at 10:06 am

This show looks like performance art. Welcome to the new Vagina Monologues.
Now with 50% more vagina and 25% less brains.

thefrontpage April 7, 2009 at 10:14 am

The four girls in the pictures are hot, but this will be one of the absolute worst piece of shit television shows since the last piece of shit television show debuted last week. Gawd almighty, who on earth needs literal crap like this? Television suits have lost their mind. All of them involved with this excrement should be fired, effective immediately. Everyone involved with this stinking pile of manure needs to be sentenced to spend six months on a remote South Pacific island with no electricity and no computers with Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Mark Foley, Don Sherwood and Ted Stevens.

Come to think of it–THAT would be a good television show.

Red Zeppelin April 7, 2009 at 10:16 am

I do not believe that these ladies are real blondes. Do the drapes match the carpet? I need proof–preferably photographic.

thefrontpage April 7, 2009 at 10:27 am

Someone said “no” to any one of these girls? Come on. I’ll give only one thing on this entire mess: The four girls are hot, and here it’s yes, yes, yes and definately yes.

And “The Real Housewives of Montgomery County” is hilarious!

LBOtomist April 7, 2009 at 10:30 am

Candidates 1, 2 and 4, please report to my office for a “reading” ASAP.

Atlas Spanked April 7, 2009 at 10:33 am

Yawn. More pasty urban nail polish bimbos with a greed complex.

How about the Real Housewives of Boulder, or Seattle, or San Fransisco?

Then we’d see hawt.

Fashion poodles are boring.

LBOtomist April 7, 2009 at 10:35 am

[re=282585]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: Jinx. Buy me a coke.

El Pinche April 7, 2009 at 11:52 am

I can’t wait for “The Real Ugly Wives of Appalachia” (originally called “The Bucktooth Bitches of Calhoun County”)

El Pinche April 7, 2009 at 11:54 am

On the chin, on the back, on the belly, bareback

Gorillionaire April 7, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Gah, I’ll just wait for the twenty second clips on “The Soup”.

Neilist April 7, 2009 at 12:16 pm

[re=282562]gurukalehuru[/re]: Keep that up, and I’m going to bring out my “Muslim Divorce Kit.”

carameltoe April 7, 2009 at 12:25 pm

This explains the fireball on the Potomac a few weeks ago.

Vewol Mevemont April 7, 2009 at 12:53 pm

2)Ha ha ha ha — clorox accident?

TGY April 7, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Oh, please. Y’all are a lying bunch of Michele Bachmann hate-fuckers. 1-4 are all acceptable.

mush April 7, 2009 at 2:26 pm

I’d like to see 4 REAL DC ladies slap the blonde dye out of their hairs.

Deepthroat April 7, 2009 at 4:11 pm

meh, i think i’d only go girl-on-girl with #4

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