• February 14, 2012
  • South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford has finally united Democrats and Republicans: They all think he’s an ass. And yes, he’s taking the bailout money, the communist. [ABC News]
  • Meanwhile, new-world-order hero Barack Obama is just flying around Europe, promising to end nuclear rockets or whatever. [Times of London]
  • There’s a new Illinois governor, right? And he is “squeaky clean.” So god only knows what kind of kinky stuff will bring this guy down. [Associated Press]
  • Lil’ Kim’s North Korean satellite/hell missile probably just crashed in the ocean. But still! [New York Times]
  • Those sad flag-draped-coffin arrivals are now open to the press, hooray. [Washington Post]
  • Ever get the creepy feeling that maybe long-haul truckers were killing all those hookers coast-to-coast? Well, yeah, that is probably what’s going on. [LA Times]

{ 44 comments }

LeastExcellent April 6, 2009 at 8:34 am

I call Corruption with a side bet on Sachitory

Texan Bulldoggette April 6, 2009 at 8:35 am

Maybe a couple of those long-haul truckers could make a pit stop at the SC state house, hmmm?? OT but I bet their trucknutz are huge. Also.

LeastExcellent April 6, 2009 at 8:35 am

[re=281650]LeastExcellent[/re]: on the Illinois Governor, not on Sandford… This time.

LeastExcellent April 6, 2009 at 8:37 am

On the Illinois Governor, not Sandofrd… this time.

Canuckledragger April 6, 2009 at 8:39 am

So was Sanford for it before he was against it, or against it before he was for it?

I am so confoozed.

Servo April 6, 2009 at 8:42 am

I don’t think that interstate truckers can ever erase the image of Sally Field’s beautiful, tight-jeaned ass momentarily filling the screen on ‘Smokey and the Bandit’.

MathewBrooks April 6, 2009 at 8:48 am

How many licks does it take L’il Ill?

freakishlystrong April 6, 2009 at 8:50 am

Well, thank goodness, now we can shut the wingnuts up on all this “bi-partisin” crap. Both Dems and Repubs alike think Sanford is a bag o’ dick eating hack…

cynbot April 6, 2009 at 8:57 am

Sounds to me like it’s only a matter of time before South Carolina begins its own illegal, erratic, and emotionally abusive nuclear weapons program.

4tehlulz April 6, 2009 at 9:01 am

[re=281660]cynbot[/re]: Too late.

Hostile Michigander April 6, 2009 at 9:01 am

Really, are the any long-haul truckers who DON’T kill hookers for fun? Serial-killing and truckers go together like like child molestation and Catholic prists.

V572625694 April 6, 2009 at 9:02 am

Long-haul truckers/serial killers? I smell teen movie success! Too bad John Candy and Chris Farley aren’t still around, as theirs are the movie star physiques most representative of long-haul truckers.

charlesdegoal April 6, 2009 at 9:04 am

The dots on the map! Scary shit! Maybe a minimum of respect could be shown by laying off the trucknutz jokes for a while (like forever).

Monsieur Grumpe April 6, 2009 at 9:11 am

Squeaky clean? Sounds like something to do with a shower and used dog chew toys.

forgracie April 6, 2009 at 9:13 am

I’ve been told,
that you’ve been bold,
with Harry Mark and John…

forgracie April 6, 2009 at 9:19 am

“We’re about 10th in line,” said Capt. Clarke Fine of Hendricks County, Ind. “I figure if Texas fries him, we’re good.”

Nice. It’s good to know we can count on Texas…

rubybuckaroo April 6, 2009 at 9:21 am

Ken:
Where is our beloved Hobo SKS?

It’s been 3 “work” days now.
Is she lounging on the pristine shores of Cuba?

Canuckledragger April 6, 2009 at 9:24 am

“Ever get the creepy feeling that maybe long-haul truckers were killing all those hookers coast-to-coast?”

Isn’t it obvious?

It was the DriveBy Truckers!!1!!1!! I heard they’re a “killer” band.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!1!!1!

Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof. April 6, 2009 at 9:26 am

Sure, blame the long-haul truckers. But what about their enabler, Dwight David Eisenhower? Hmm? Hmmmm?

wheelie April 6, 2009 at 9:26 am

Hey, I hope you all love Turkish people! Because your President is over in Turkey right now, giving them all the Hope-talk and telling them how terrific they are. I’ll bet they will be over to visit their New Best Friends real soon!

Canmon (the Inadequate) April 6, 2009 at 9:33 am

North Korea’s missile program will never succeed unless they hire ex-Nazis like we did.

lobo2009 April 6, 2009 at 9:37 am

I found this post in response to the Sanford article. UMMMMM I think he took lessons at the George Bush English Academy!

Who in there right mind would want big brother telling you what to do and what you can not do with the money and this mess of chasing the leader of GM out of his position, were he has been there for 9+ years is the very conduct of the Third Right the days of Hitler and the Communist. This is going down the wrong road, trust me.This would make our fore fathers turn in there grave. Sir Enrico Granse,Esq.
Posted by:
SIRENRICO 8:46

WadISay April 6, 2009 at 9:38 am

[re=281677]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: You’re right. Islam-o-fascists just ain’t cuttin’ it.

Sussemilch April 6, 2009 at 9:53 am

So now Obama thinks he’s so good he doesn’t need nukes to be the president? Whatever happened to good old-fashioned mutually-assured destruction?

Bruno April 6, 2009 at 10:12 am

“But Sanford says he’ll reject $700 million for education…”

We don’t need no eduction

TGY April 6, 2009 at 10:13 am

Mark Sanford is an appropriate hero for the Republican Party: stalwart right up to the point where he switches.

LeastExcellent April 6, 2009 at 10:15 am

[re=281679]lobo2009[/re]: I tried to spell check that, and my compooter tried to strangle me with a USB cord while swearing in Spanish

LeastExcellent April 6, 2009 at 10:16 am

[re=281692]Bruno[/re]: that’s where all the strings are! though it’s for art projects..

TGY April 6, 2009 at 10:24 am

At the end the crowd surged forward to touch him [B.O.], as they have across Europe in the past few days.

I hear his touch cures syphilis or impotence or something.

TGY April 6, 2009 at 10:27 am

[re=281683]Sussemilch[/re]: We are protected by his Pretteh.

Cicada April 6, 2009 at 10:29 am

[re=281669]forgracie[/re]:
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to Thursday
With Harry, Mark and John

I totally have that song stuck in my head now. Just the “bom bom bom satellite of love” part, though.

Cicada April 6, 2009 at 10:31 am

[re=281711]TGY[/re]: It’s crabs. They jump off when he smiles.

DC Hates Me April 6, 2009 at 10:45 am

I know who’s committing all those truck stop murders. Every state has dumped bodies .. except South Dakota.

donner_froh April 6, 2009 at 10:48 am

How can Palin get away with turning down money from the Feds? The only reason anyone gets elected in Alaska is to keep the money flowing from Washington.

[re=281679]lobo2009[/re]: I spotted that one–it is almost too perfect.

For those of you who don’t have as much time to kill or who don’t like deal with the work of idiots in the morning, a few items highlighted:

Who in there right mind would want big brother telling you what to do and what you can not do with the money and this mess of chasing the leader of GM out of his position, were he has been there for 9+ years is the very conduct of the Third Right the days of Hitler and the Communist. This is going down the wrong road, trust me.This would make our fore fathers turn in there grave.

Bruno April 6, 2009 at 10:50 am

My god, that TeLEprOMPteR in the Times article is frighteningly close to him. He is addicted. To make matters worse, that guy who date-raped the life-sized Hillz cut-out is spoon-feeding him the lies.

AWOcoholic April 6, 2009 at 11:32 am

Holy crap – that LA Times article about killer truckers is worth a read. There are about a dozen cringworthy lines. i.e.,

“He actually bragged that we wouldn’t find any DNA because he didn’t have sex with them in the traditional sense.”

momus April 6, 2009 at 11:35 am

Quinn’s been stealing paperclips for years. Everybody in Illinois knows that, but its the US Attorney’s problem not ours.

lobo2009 April 6, 2009 at 12:12 pm

TGY–Sounds like a Jesus Complex to me! Maybe he can stop women from having irregular periods too!

Of course some nut bag will say Hilter did that too.

GO THIRD RIGHT!!!!!!! WERE on YOU’RE side!

Terry April 6, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Truck stops have always skeeved me out. Until I read that article, I thought it was just a combination of the excellent chance of food poisoning, filthy bathrooms, and the pervasive smell of B.O. and petroleum products that caused that feeling.

hobospacejunkie April 6, 2009 at 12:39 pm

[re=281677]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: North Korea’s missile program will never succeed unless they hire ex-Nazis like we did.

I think they’re going to have to settle for some boys from Brazil. Them originals is gettin’ on in years.

Atlas Spanked April 6, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Nothing makes the case for an expanded rail system like your average long-haul trucker.

Even the ones that aren’t rapists and serial murderers are crazy-ass gun nuts. I’d estimate a 10% or lower sanity rate.

lawrenceofthedesert April 6, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Daniel in the lion’s den was in an easier spot than Pat Quinn; we’ll see how he shoots against the Harlem Globetrotters of political dirt, aka the Illinois legislature. They got crossovers and slams that ain’t never been seen in the Fenwick gym. The last boy scout in Springfield was Judge Otto Kerner, who wound up in the slammer. Pretend boy scout “Big Jim” Thompson, a big hypocrite, was much more Springfield’s style.

The Glover article on the FBI’s highway serial killing initiative (truckers) is excellent; I even blogged about it today.

Joey Ratz April 6, 2009 at 1:10 pm

“He actually bragged that we wouldn’t find any DNA because he didn’t have sex with them in the traditional sense,” said Hallmark…

Non-traditional sex? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Frottage? Felching?

zhubajie April 7, 2009 at 7:26 am

“There’s a new Illinois governor, right? And he is “squeaky clean.” So god only knows what kind of kinky stuff will bring this guy down. [Associated Press]”

Connected to the Outfit, of course.

Zhu Bajie

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