Wonkette
Barack Obama went to this little country, the Czech Republic! Wonkette’s correspondent Rob McLean is there, and spent many hours in an actual castle in Prague, where the Wizard lives, waiting for the famous guest from the United States to appear. “Some very disrespectful Czech girls behind me are complaining about the American flag wavers in front,” he writes, from his bizarre Slavic communications device, the “i-fone.”
Here, this is what happened:
I saw Bush Sr. in Prague in 1991 or ‘90, before the Iraq war. Some Americans were holding up no blood for oil banners. A CNN cameraman looking at them called them communists. [Ha I knew that guy, the Texan?--Ed.] No banners for this one are allowed. They told everyone to turn off their phones, which everyone laughed at. They’re all taking pix with their phones anyway.
We’ve been waiting since 6:30 AM. Tons of Czechs about, of course, but I ended up behind a group of New Jersey girls, complaining about their nails. I thought I’d vomit.
It’s packed inside the castle. The crowd just got excited because Obama was shown on the one jumbotron. I say jumbo but it´s only about five times bigger than my flatscreen. Czechs can’t organize their way out of a paper bag. All the bigshot press had to squeeze through us after 6:30. We watched Vaclav Klaus and his wife, who calls him “Klaus” when she talks about him.
The cute Czech soldiers in their silly blue uniforms are marching to the beer-hall oompah oompah beat. Michelle and Barack are inside now, where Klaus will complain about environmentalists and leftists. They are due out in 45 minutes. Beautiful day, the smog thick enough so you cant even see the giant TV
tower in Zizkov.UPDATE:Even if you’re not a raving American patriot, it’s still not fun to watch your visiting head of state get booed. So hooray, there was none of that — the only boos were for some Czech politicians when they came out a few minutes before the main act.
It was hard to tell if the boos were for the Czech premier who’d lost his vote of confidence a couple weeks ago, about the same day he said the US stimulus package was the “road to hell,” or if it was for the Czech global warming revisionist Vaclav Klaus.
Both Klaus and Topolanek were saving and smiling and signing autographs, as if a speech of theirs would have drawn a crowd a tenth the size of this one.
The Czech girls in back of me never stopped jabbering about the Americans in the crowd, especially when they started waving the little flags that got handed out. “The American mentality is totally deranged” was among the more polite things these foul mouthed, provincial girls managed to say. When Michelle finally came in view, though, they were swayed.
“You’ve got to hand it to her, she’s got style.”
“She’s the only reason I came,” said the other. It was touching, especially considering it’s still politically correct for Czechs to make terrible racist Gypsy jokes in polite company.
GYPSY ZOMBIES WILL DESTROY US ALL. THANK GOD WE HAVE WONKETTE TECHNOLOGY TO WARN US OF OR IMPENDING DOOM. Eat your family. That is the only hope for you.
Anyone know how many blacks there are in Czechland? And are most of them Muslims from Subsaharan Africa? Maybe, like in most of France and Scandinavia blacks are actually treated as people there instead of a scary menace as in the Anglo-Saxon lands.
chascates: Don’t know how many there are now, but it’s two less now that Barack and Michelle have gone on to Turkey to meet Barack’s Muslim relatives.
chascates: YOU REFERINGG TO COMMUNITY ORGANISERS THUGS? THERE YOU LIBROLLS GO AGAIN BRINGN UP THE RACE CARD
They insulted us Americans?!?! Are there any Czech foods or products we can rename “freedom” or “liberty” [blank] as retaliation?
Czecho: It’s that the country in which the “well regulated militia” held off the Russian Army in 1968?
Brendan M.: Well, the Czechs basically invented lager beer, right? We could rename that “freedom juice”
Brendan M.: Too bad Jagr and Hasek aren’t playing hockey any more. We could totally boo them.
Michelle’s going to save the economy — all she has to do is wear two or three different sweaters a day. That’ll save J. Crew and — um — Indonesia. Who, being Muslim, won’t appreciate it. Ah, screw it — I’ve got enough beans to last.
This little wine cave, tended by “monks”, is a stone’s throw from the castle, and I know that when PM Topolonek asserted that Barry’s stim pack was a sure “path to hell”, he was referring to this spot.
http://www.peklo.com/index.php?lang=en
P.S.: peklo = hell
…and when I read the words, “Czech girls”, I get all tingley up my leg. Yeah. That one.
chascates: There are thousands, mostly in Prague, and are otherwise known as “gypsies”. They mostly live in
HarlemZizkov, a district up the hill in the city, and home to the hideous aforementioned TV tower. Zizkov, like Harlem, is undergoing gentrifiction; that means new paint on the outside of your building, new cheezy panelling on the inside of your phonebooth-sized elevator, and more pickpockets in the main train station, nearby.One of the big parks in Zizkov contains a bronze statue of Winston Churchill, a famous pacifist.
The term ‘gyp’ is racist against the “gypsies”, so don’t call them that when they steal your baby and tell you you’re a werewolf.
SayItWithWookies: I doubt Michelle would be willing to wear anything from the Tamil Tiger collection, no matter how fashion-forward it might be.
hockeymom: Jagr’s playing for for Siberia, but now that oil prices have dropped, he’ll be back in NY, trying to convince the Rangers that he’s a young man.
bitchincamaro: The statue of Churchill is actually in front of the School of Economics, a couple blocks down from the park, but if it didn’t say “Winston Churchill” on it, you might think it was a statue of Quasimodo.
Brendan M.: I’m boycotting Rice Czechs, Wheat Czechs and the whole Czechs Party Mix family of foods.
gurukalehuru: You’re right. I had three beers before I sat down in front of it.
Foul-mouthed, provincial, bitchy girls? They sound perfect to intern at Wonkette. Also where are pix of cute Czech soldiers, pls?
bitchincamaro: Gypsies = Blacks!?! Add some Jewishness and it’s time to head for teh hillz!
gurukalehuru: And why are you on Wonkette at 7 a.m.? You should be at work or in the pub.
obfuscator: That might not be an issue for much longer anyway:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7984184.stm
(Not that I’d count the Tamil Tigers out just yet — they’ve shown a remarkable resilience. But their people are getting tired of this too.)
It’s weird, there. Black folks are mostly African and O.K. with the locals; gypsies are third class citizens and are treated, unofficially, as such.
SayItWithWookies: I like the fact that the BBC was able to work the word “ferocious” into an article on the Tigers. Rowrrrr, BBC.
I always boycott coat Czech girls. 3 dollars to put my coat on a freaking hangar and steal any loose change in my pockets? No, thank you!
So Rob was doin’ the female and the dude working with him, a Czech, was in the male?
The Czechs were on their best behavior that day–not even a single defenestration happened!
Though perhaps the warm welcome for Obama was based on the rumor that he was a secret Hussite?
Wait is it normal in Czechland 2 refer 2 ppl as ‘S.’ or is that just Kafka being funnie?
expatinOz: Ha! Three dollars is fucking cheap if they put your coat in the “hangar” and not “on the hanger”. The trip to the airport is usually prohibitively expensive.
Neon Trotsky: Just wait until they turn him into a cockroach and charge him with a crime but won’t let him know what it is.
bitchincamaro: Fun fact about Jagr. He told a Pittsburgh radio station he learned English from his “favorite TV show, Married with Children.” Let’s hope he didn’t learn his manners there, too.
This stuff about the “deranged American mentality” of flag-waving is interesting. People in East-Central Europe have, I am finding out, a difficult relationship with government and nationalism (at least the ones who aren’t racist paramilitaries). I think too much of it reminds them of Iron Curtain days. I was living in Cluj, Romania on Obama’s inauguration, and it kind of baffled my local friends that I watched the ceremony on CNN. “You must be very patriotic!” one of them said, saluting. I tried to explain that it’s not being patriotic, exactly, but that the occasion was important and I was proud of it. I am not sure I got through.
Brendan M.: Perhaps not foods, but Czech this out: Czech mates? Rubber Czechs? Czechs and balances, etc.
Thank God for Michelle Obama to give those Euro something to wag about besides our collective derangement. I was in Amsterdam last week and the vibe was derisive and hostile. Even about our shoes!
actually i always thought it was pretty fun watching dubya get booed.
Even the haters love Barry and Michelle. When they forget to hate, that is.
Q - How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?
A - A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.
Was the scary Prague Golem about?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem
Brendan M.: You will now withdraw money from your “freedoming account”, the Constitution will now institute a system of “freedoms and balances”, chess games will end with “freedommate” and Chubby Checker will hereby be referred to as “Chubby Freedomer”.
Yay, Rob McLean! Believe it or not, I actually worked as an intern for him over 12 years ago when I lived over there.
You guys, the gypsies deserve it. One threw an onion at me when I was a kid.
chascates: There are almost no blacks in the Czechland. And those few are respected, as well as the Asians and other incomers in the Czechlands. However, the gypsies in the Czech Republic don’t work to earn money. They prefer thefts, robbery, and getting money from the state. Every second non-gypsy Czech citizen has been once robbed be a gypsy, incl. me. Czechs are no racists, they just don’t like robbers, wasters and illegal visitors of their homes. Unfortunately, most of them are gypsies. And there are countries, where they call us racists, if we dare tell the truth.
Hi friends, as a Czech I feel I must respond to what I read here above. Your comments on US President’s visit to Prague (pls excuse my poor English). Though I don’t understand some comments written in slang (e.g. Truck Nutz), I’d like to explain the most Czechs’ opinion. We ARE very happy that your fantastic president Obama arrived in our small country. As our countries differ in size, history, and location, it’s logical there are different angles we’re watching things. I was born in 1967, therefore I remember the times of the cold war. All official information about the world behind the iron curtain was distorted. However, the communist regime did not succeed in washing peoples’ brains. Most people were no devoted communists, and had to formally enter the party if they wanted to get any managerial job. Their membership was not genuine and their “devotion” was mostly faked (in private they laughed at communists). In private we admired the rich and free world, which we called “The West” (officially such a public admiration could lead to large restrictions). When I was a boy, I remember we used to say “American” if we wanted to express somethig was “cool, excellent, up-to-date”. For example: “This is an American guitar” meant “This guitar is fantastic”. In fact, there were no ‘Made in USA’ products in a Soviet satelite country. As to current politics scene in the Czech Republic, ordinary Czechs are ashamed at the the Czech government repersentatives. I just want to say the Czech nation IS NOT against you Americans, as I can feel from some articles and comments on this webpage. However, there are still lots of misinformation about our countries, in both directions. We don’t know much about you and you don’t know about us. But we really respect you, no matter what Klaus and Topolanek say. Hope you’ll understand and believe. Thank you, Mat.