Wonkette
Just two weeks ago, fancy “old gray woman” the New York Times produced a comical document instructing its various blog editors to Avoid Snark Or Die. Really, they did this, at the NYT. “What should be avoided in all of them is any hint of racist, sexist or religious bias, or any suggestion of nasty, snide, sarcastic, or condescending tone — ’snark.’ If something could easily fit in a satirical Web site for young adults, it probably shouldn’t go into the news pages of nytimes.com.” Ahem.
We may not be “young adults” — we don’t even begin to get this “Christian vampire sex” craze the ‘tweens and college freshmen are literally masturbating to, right now, using the “Wii” — but we do know a thing or two about “snark.” It is, of course, one of the main words in the title of the greatest pamphlet of the baby-boomer generation, the parasitic movie reviewer David Denby’s dinner conversation with Michael Kinsley, Snark: It’s Mean, It’s Personal, and it’s Ruining Our Dinner Conversation.
And now, in the august pages of the online edition of America’s better newspapers, we are confronted with the filth of cheap jokes. Not just any cheap jokes, either. No! This joke, on the supposed “news” blog of the world’s finest journalistic enterprise, is at the expense of leftist protesters (they could be described that way, right?), and as we all know, the Greatest Generation, of the 1960s, also engaged in leftist protests, and THAT’S NOT FUNNY.
Oh and here’s another NYT “The Lede” headline, which is actually vulgar: “Hugs and High Jinks, and Protocol Be Damned.” Let’s check that .pdf again:
Contractions, colloquialisms and even slang are, generally speaking, more allowable in blogs than in print. But obscenity and vulgarity are not, and of course unverified assertions of fact, blind pejorative quotes, and other lapses in journalistic standards don’t ever belong in blogs.
These crude youth also did an entire post of April Fools Day youtubes, which is just bogus. (Thanks to Wonkette Operative loquaciousmusic for the tip.)
Protesters Fail to Bring Down Global Capitalism With Costumes and Puppets [NYT The Lede]
It’s clearly pining for the fjords.
Do I get TRUCKNUTZ for this tip?
Damn. Tweety Bird really let himself go.
So saying that I saw Karl Rove staggering drunk Saturday fucking a payphone coin return would not be blog-suitable?
…awwwwww, they killed Chris Matthews!?!?
Where are the grieving bunnies? Oompa-Loompas?
Sussemilch: …no it wouldn’t, but saying that you saw Karl Rove hanging by nipple clamps in some gay S&M porno while being sodomized by a greased aluminum baseball bat would be totally appropriate! TOTALLY!!!
There’s only so much you can do with a dead pecker.
According to the Chicago Manual of Snark, 16th Ed., the above headline is not snark. Now, if the the word “Fail” were all caps, then it would be snark.
TGY: …you can only hope for rigamortis!
Shorter Ken Layne: Get off my turf!
I don’t know about “Christian vampire sex” (though it sounds pretty hot) but I know sucking when I see it.
So what are they mourning, Canary Wharf as a commercial center where men in tweed caps pushed heavy things about, or Canary Wharf as a vacant wasteland of empty warehouses where hippies could squat?
AngryBlakGuy: …very true, but only if you’re a lucky stiff.
I’ve asked this many times, and I’ll ask again: how long until the Boomers start dying off? Can the pharmaceutical industry PLEASE stop making pills to make these people live longer and get erections?
That poor guy in the bird suit thought he was headed to a literal “tweet-up” and ended up with a severe concussion from the rabid G20tards.
loquacious is such a suck up!
TGY: …because you never want to be a “dead fukk”!
Good luck to the newspapers who insist both in their business model and their public discourse that the people who don’t read them are idiots and/or children. call me crazy, but unless they are planning a big reveal that this attitude to be some kind of satire, i think they might continue to struggle [breaking news!].
I don’t see why this is such snarky news, anyway - I’ve single-handedly failed to bring down capitalism by drinking myself silly for years…turns out I just should have bought more houses I didn’t intend to pay for…
Deepthroat: Damn right.
Sussemilch: No, it absolutely wouldn’t be, but you MUST call, email, etc. and tell me about in graphic detail. I’ll buy you a drink.
OK, I’ll be the first to bring the level down lower than snark: Who’s the chick with the tits? She’s hawt!
Maybe now all the Jim Newell haters on nbcwashington.com can direct all their anger at the NYT instead
The Return, Demise, and Resurrection of….. Peeps!!!1!1?
Lazy Media: indeed. Just based on the pictures, i’m going with the latter.
OMG exactly!!! It’s so simple! The peeps represent all that is evil and dark-sided with Capitalism! Made in Bethlehem PA!!!
“unverified assertions of fact, blind pejorative quotes, and other lapses in journalistic standards don’t ever belong in blogs.”
Thay mean except when it’s funny, right?
So now they have to say Serious things about Republican budgets, too? That’ll leave a mark.
I have a feeling that next time protesters come in costume, they may have explosive devices strapped onto themselves. Because of this article. Also.
What will I do for lulz without obscenity, vulgarity, “unverified assertions of fact” and “blind pejorative quotes”?
Why does NYT want to kill my happy place?
Where are they going to find a shoebox big enough?
Mustang: Ah — the real reason they got rid of Kristol. Aside from his just plain sucking, of course.
Hmmm…I suspect Sylvester.
Now I’m REALLY proud to be a middle-aged lover of snark!
So am I to understand that buttsex has no place in a blog?
It is an ex-parrot!
Contractions, colloquialisms and even slang are, generally speaking, more allowable in blogs than in print. But obscenity and vulgarity are not, and of course unverified assertions of fact, blind pejorative quotes, and other lapses in journalistic standards don’t ever belong in blogs.
So obviously MoDo’s columns couldn’t either be printed or blogged. Are they whispered to the ether, then transmitted to us via Indian runner? And, if so, can we break with normal protocol and kill said messenger?