We have a bad feeling about this: TeeVee atrocity The Real World, which basically invented “reality television” about 15 years ago, in San Francisco, when this fucking bike messenger with tattoos on his legs would show up to what had been fun bars, and then people would say, “Oh that is the bike messenger from teevee’s The Real World,” is probably coming to Washington with its would-be famous young people with no talent. You will see these people in the bars and cheaper restaurants, and you will know them by the MTV production van and fat camera guys following the kids everywhere, and sticking those very bright hideous annoying lights in your face, when you are trying to have a fucking drink somewhere.
Gawker had a little poll up the other day, “Where will this show go next?”, etc., and your editor voted for D.C., because of the cities on the list, none had any current zeitgeist going. Washington, though, you may remember, has a BLACK PRESIDENT, and many celebrities were here on a cold day in January, and now Washington is so cool, suck it Brooklyn, &c. Even America’s stupid glossy celebrity gossip magazines have exchanged what’s her name, “I’m a sad clown nobody will get me pregnant,” the one the one guy left for the hot gal who was Tomb Raider, with Michelle Obama as the cover celebrity of choice. So, obviously, the Pop-Culture Research Professionals at Viacom-MTV were going to say, “Oooooo, let’s do Washington. Obama!” And then the other Research Professional Team Members probably all said “OBAMA!” like they were at, who knows, a sports bar. High five.
If you see any The Real World people, just cold beat the shit out of them. Wonkette will, in fact, pay a hundred-dollar bounty for the head of a The Real World D.C. cast member. (Must be dead/detached.) [Gawker]