Your Wonkette has passed by many flowering trees and has yet to determine, what, exactly, is a cherry blossom tree. Don’t be fooled by the Bradford pear tree, AKA the Semen Tree, which, besides umm, not being pink, has the awful smell of you-know-what. They’re all over DC, and dumb tourists are taking photos in front of them. Fools!
So what is a cherry blossom tree, exactly?
The Wikipedia definition is useless: “Its flowers are nearly pure white, tinged with the palest pink, especially near the stem. They bloom and usually fall within a week, before the leaves come out. Therefore, the trees look nearly white from top to bottom.” What?
The best way to describe them is by process of elimination. Your Wonkette went around DC and took photos some pictures of what isn’t a cherry blossom, and what is. Here they are:
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- Semen Tree. Yucky.
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- Not a cherry blossom.
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- This looks like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
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- NOT a cherry blossom. The flowers are too big.
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- This is a cherry blossom.
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- Under a cherry blossom tree.
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If you’re ever in the market for a wedding dress, you’re obviously doomed, given your inability to distinguish obviously different shades of pinky-white. I appreciate the pictures, but it’s a somewhat tragic admission.
“What’s a Cherry Blossom, Anyway?”
One of Schadenfried’s favorite flowers, that’s all that ‘Murika needs to know.
“You don’t look like your average horti-fucking-culturist.”
one of those looks kind of like a saucer magnolia. (sometimes called a “tulip tree” but that confuses it with the Tulip Poplar).
http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2011_species.html
I’m not sure which kinds have been planted around the tidal basin, but I think we have at least three or four different varieties in DC.
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