KNOWING YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC  3:28 pm April 1, 2009

‘Late Night Shots’ Founder To Open Frightening New Thing

by Jim Newell

Late Night Shots, the exclusive invitation-only social networking club for young Confederate boys and the girls they photograph urinating, in Georgetown, will now expand. In Georgetown. LNS founder Reed Landry is pairing up with some law school student named “Fritz Brogan” (who is rich and friends with Jeb Bush) to launch a new alcohol establishment at 3277 M Street. It will literally be called “The Country Club,” according to this pink blog. “Country Club will not have a sign on the door. While Landry handled the interior design, Brogan insists it will have his signature ‘sweaty dance floor.’” [Ask Miss A]

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HoboNutz April 1, 2009 at 3:31 pm

leave your dignity at the door

Rush April 1, 2009 at 3:33 pm

That yellow liquid better be beer or ginger ale.

Mr Blifil April 1, 2009 at 3:35 pm

I give her points for sheer efficiency.

SayItWithWookies April 1, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Oh — that picture on — I assume those boys are arriving on Astro-Glide night?

Serolf Divad April 1, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Abandon all shame, ye who enter here.

bricks April 1, 2009 at 3:38 pm

This is just what Georgetown needed, if you ask me-

Another exclusive club where rich fratboyz can swill beer and daterape the ladies on top of an old pinball machine, all the while screaming “WHOOOO!!!”

Sigma Chi gotta let their nutz hang, boyeee!

chascates April 1, 2009 at 3:38 pm

I’m surprised they won’t have a sign simply for the pleasure of denying entry to non-Snots. Instead they’ll probably just have some lawn jockeys to mark the entrance.

freakishlystrong April 1, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Holy shit! That picture; Queer Eye for the douchbag…

teebob2000 April 1, 2009 at 3:39 pm

The ONE posting of Newell’s that DOESN’T need an alt-text.

Another DC Lawyer (Again) April 1, 2009 at 3:39 pm

God I’ve missed these guys….but Jim, you missed the best part of Miss. A(sshole)’s post: “Since 2007, I’ve realized that I have body image issues and shouldn’t project my issues on to others.” HA HA! She’s admitted she’s a fat cow and doesn’t like skinny people!

ihasasad April 1, 2009 at 3:40 pm

“It was a natural fit to team up,” Brogan explained. “LNS has essentially been our agency of record as far as communicating with our target market and advertising our high-end parties.”

Lookie, he haz all that sexy talk and everything. Do you think he was tipsy when he said all that?

V572625694 April 1, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=278741]Serolf Divad[/re]: Or worse yet, here:

Miss A has “body image issues.”

Ehh April 1, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Anyone consider that its April Fools Days… I know you die hard defenders of wonderland bar and ironic tee shirts with your contrarian for the sake of it ‘ideas’ love to attack this crowd, but I think in this case it might actually be a joke… But I guess now the bigger joke is Wonkette.

Godless Liberal April 1, 2009 at 3:45 pm

I think they could safely drop the ‘O’ from the bar’s name.

Formerly Preferred April 1, 2009 at 3:46 pm

“Political insiders say his close ties with former Governor Jeb Bush will be proverbial in his bidding.”

I have read this sentence several times and have concluded that it must have been inserted into the blog by the Cornficker worm, because it certainly isn’t English.

forgracie April 1, 2009 at 3:46 pm

I love that picture.

JDHART April 1, 2009 at 3:49 pm

I went to the pink blog and … nevermind, you have to see it to believe it. I particularly like the part about the law school friend weenie who is going to use his connections with Jeb Bush to run for Congress in 2014. Good luck with that, Dingus.

Mr. Sandman April 1, 2009 at 3:50 pm

I agree JDHART, what a DOUCHE BAG!!

Mr. Sandman April 1, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Two people opening a bar on M Street, and get this — neither one of them is poor. Let’s go bomb the place!

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 1, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Erm, LNS and Miss A… “Making the Grade” called, and it wants it cheesy, faggy-ass preppies back.

Lazy Media April 1, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Miss A isn’t exactly hideous, but she seems to be working on the Ann Coulter principle, that skinny + blonde = attractive. Tain’t so. If you’re going to act smug and superior, it helps if you’re, y’know superior.

Another DC Lawyer (Again) April 1, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=278759]V572625694[/re]: Aggh! Some things in life you can’t un-see! Her mom’s kinda hot though…

teebob2000 April 1, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=278759]V572625694[/re]: She’s gotta trim that bush back a little bit!! Looks like a freakin’ Yorkie!!

Judas Peckerwood April 1, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Welcome back Late Night Twats — I thought you were dead!

edgydrifter April 1, 2009 at 4:04 pm

Hon, the urine goes down the other hole. Having a potty mouth doesn’t mean your mouth is a… you know… ah, you’re from G-Town, aren’t you?

SayItWithWookies April 1, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=278763]Ehh[/re]: The point of April Fool’s Day is to prank people with something startling and unusual. Rich assholes opening a bar? Oooh, so punk’d. Woulda been a lot more clever if the headline was “DC Preppies Returning Daddy’s BMW, Getting a Job and Buying Their Own Damn Car.”

Custerwolf April 1, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Something tells me this chick would not be nearly as photogenic if she removed the pitcher from her face.

Botswana Meat Commission FC April 1, 2009 at 4:12 pm

No sign on the door just makes it that much harder for the rape victims to remember where they were last night.

Custerwolf April 1, 2009 at 4:15 pm

[re=278763]Ehh[/re]: Is that you Fonzie?

Custerwolf April 1, 2009 at 4:16 pm

[re=278759]V572625694[/re]: She’s going for that anatomy class skeleton look.

NoWireHangers April 1, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Reed Landry?
Fritz Brogan?

Even their names are douchey. Do parents know their kids are assholes when they’re born, or do the children merely grow into their names?

With a name like The Country Club, we can count on saltwater douche clientele like:
Deuce Cockman
Blaine Broheed
Saxby Chambliss
Coxly Moneybros
Ashley Madison Twinkletwat
Christly Bunsbro
Broheim Vanbroness

ManchuCandidate April 1, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Mondays: Wing Night
Tuesdays: Tuesday Night take downs complete with USFB*
Wednesdays: Regrets from Tuesday Night Take Downs includes panicked cab ride to CVS for Plan B
Thursdays: Disco Night
Fridays/Saturdays: Relive the glory days of Republicanism (when your trust fund was worth something)
Sundays: Repub Log Cabin Meetings

NoWireHangers April 1, 2009 at 4:29 pm

[re=278845]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You forgot 80s Night. There is always 80s Night at places like this. “Pour Some Sugar On Me” doesn’t play itself, Manchu.

rmontcal April 1, 2009 at 4:32 pm

I hope these guys get anal poisoning.

Kev-O-Tron April 1, 2009 at 4:33 pm

Now I know where to get shitty, stepped-on coke when I’m in Georgetown.

Canadian Rap Star Flavour Flav April 1, 2009 at 4:42 pm

The name “The Country Club” is a little too subtle for me. I think “House of Date Rape” is a little cleared.

Canadian Rap Star Flavour Flav April 1, 2009 at 4:44 pm

[re=278763]Ehh[/re]: You’re right about one thing — it is indeed a joke.

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 1, 2009 at 4:45 pm

[re=278874]NoWireHangers[/re]: Oh no, they’d never play Def Leppard at an LNS 80s night. They’re more Bonnie Tyler and Kim Carnes-speed, or Quarterflash for laffs.

Capitol Hillbilly April 1, 2009 at 4:47 pm

[re=278841]NoWireHangers[/re]: don’t forget Pierce Bottoms

“Birthplace of the Miss A brand” = hooker endorsement

LVS April 1, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Oh, holy hell. “This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 1st, 2009″ is all you need to know.

binarian April 1, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=278759]V572625694[/re]: And what the fuck is she wearing? Looks like the fabric from my grandmother’s sofa.

binarian April 1, 2009 at 5:05 pm

[re=278763]Ehh[/re]: Dude….(I assume)….whether it’s a joke or not…it’s still funny. And perfectly believable that inbreds need another place to gather.

jaysmith April 1, 2009 at 5:09 pm

This is definately a joke but I went to school at Georgetown with Fritz Brogan. Here is an expose on him:

AKAM80TheWolf April 1, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Broheim Van Broness


Holding Out for a Hero April 1, 2009 at 5:23 pm

I guess we now know who beards for the Repub boys who have teh gay.

imissopus April 1, 2009 at 5:32 pm

I’m just fascinated by the fact that Miss A had a divorce, a broken engagement, and an abusive relationship all by her mid-thirties and people still ask her for advice. On what? The best cleaning solvent for getting cum off your face?

valet_of_the_dolls April 1, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=278949]imissopus[/re]: How to downgrade a suitor’s expectations from blowjob to handjob while continuing to drink on his dime.
Whether it’s appropriate to wear Lily Pulitzer to a funeral, if it’s a spring death.
How much to tip the abortionist.

Hagar77 April 1, 2009 at 5:50 pm

And here I’d been looking for a new place to get gang-raped by a bunch of Kappa Alphas. Prayer answered!

valet_of_the_dolls April 1, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Jukesgrrl April 1, 2009 at 6:34 pm

[re=278841]NoWireHangers[/re]: Please … Broheim Vanbroness? Everyone knows the family spells it “Van Broness.”

NoWireHangers April 1, 2009 at 6:38 pm

[re=278965]valet_of_the_dolls[/re]: My only question: From the waist down is dear Fritz wearing a kilt or plaid board shorts? Thank god the picture cut off where it did.

Jukesgrrl April 1, 2009 at 6:45 pm

Our nation’s capital needs to be rid of this evil menace. As an extermination method, may I suggest rolling up the Road to Recovery documents and stuffing them … it has to be down their throats. Republicans LIKE it the other way.

ogradybt April 1, 2009 at 7:04 pm

[re=278769]Formerly Preferred[/re]: I had the same confused response. Then I thought, “It must be a reference to a proverb I’ve never heard.” _Then_ I thought, “This person probably thinks that ‘proverbially’ is just a smart adverb.”

God, knowing better grammar than people who are ruining the world is so empowering!

rocktonsammy April 1, 2009 at 7:10 pm

If only the gal in the picture was texting somebody, that would have been real multi tasking.

valet_of_the_dolls April 1, 2009 at 7:18 pm

[re=279031]NoWireHangers[/re]: I am disinclined to think about Fritz “from the waist” down in my current state, which is sober. After a few drinks, hopefully, I will have forgotten to.
And that’s my excuse for drinking tonight, should I need one.

comradepaulson April 1, 2009 at 7:50 pm

This still doesn’t beat the time they were putting down us DFH’s for smoking weed; meanwhile, they’re so stuffed with snow you can find a chairlift going up their nose.

Wait, was that LNS who was making fun of my greens or was that some other preppy douchebag group? Well, one preppy douchebag=all preppy douchebags.

Putz April 1, 2009 at 9:54 pm

Miss A. looks a little porky in that street picture.
I almost didn’t write that because the crazy bitch volunteers but after reading I realized it’s mostly for self promotion.

turboslut April 2, 2009 at 9:20 am

There won’t be a sign on the door, except, of course, the small one reading “no coloreds allowed”

Prommie April 2, 2009 at 10:23 am

Miss A has fucking cottage cheese knees. Her legs are ferociously awful, they are tubular, and at some point she seems to have had her ankles removed, the legs continue at their full calf-circumference right straight down to the feet, like 4-inch sewer pipe. Gag Ack Barf.

professionalcynic April 2, 2009 at 1:02 pm

Now that I know where all the law school douchebags are going to be, it will be much easier to have them shipped to Gitmo.

meowdc April 2, 2009 at 9:56 pm

Really, Wonkette? This is what you’ve sunk to? If you’re going to talk shit about LNS, fine, but at least find a better reason than because two guys decided to open a bar with a name you don’t like. Also, LNS is using this negative press to publicize the bar more, so congratulations on giving them a big PR win, and for making liberals look bitter and judgmental.

I am a proud Democrat, and lazy, mean-spirited, stupid articles like this make hate this site. And on top of that, it’s not even funny. We’re supposed to be the honest, funny ones, remember? Jesus Christ, people.

Fritz is a small business owner; you’d probably find the Washington Post articles on his restaurant/bar if you’d bothered to use the google beforehand. Reed runs a social networking site. Neither of them are evil.

Come on, Wonkette. Be better. Or, failing that, at least be funny again.

Custerwolf April 3, 2009 at 12:26 am

[re=280171]meowdc[/re]: Sounds like someone needs a taaaampon…..

Dr Tobias Funke April 3, 2009 at 10:03 pm

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