Newt Gingrich Is Now Catholic, Who Knew!

Newt Gingrich is suddenly a papist! Does he know that he now has to live in Maryland, the designated Catholic slave colony of Lord Baltimore? It's true. Gingrich was converted in D.C., however, at a Capitol Hill church the other night, after which he went to "celebrate" at the very fancy Cafe Milano restaurant, with lobbyists. Why did he switch to this new Jesus? Well his young (and third) wife is Catholic, so this will shush her up good for a few years, until he divorces her for a new teenager. But obviously the real reason is that he wants to be president and has already calculated some close electoral college scenario where this will put him over the top in a crucial Rust Belt state. [ The Caucus ]