Wonkette
MEGHAN MCCAIN TO ROOFIE YOUNG CONGRESSMAN: So it appears that Meghan McCain is trying to have sex with sexy young Republican Rep. Aaron Schock. Well she can just GET IN LINE. She writes, “At the end of the day, Congressman Schock is only three years older than me.” And she shall procure his seed! [Daily Beast]
More years, far less miles.
“at the end of the day”? i can’t decide whether she needs to read more or less.
Republican? Pffft! Then why’s he cavorting with a scantily clad young woman?
His mom, or something?
And Meghan also says this:
(a) By god, let’s hope so. There are laws against that sort of thing.
and
(b) I bet you hope so, Meghan, I bet you hope so.
and
(c) “Relay a message?” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
“At the end of the day, Congressman Schock is only three years older than me. Which means he can relay a message in ways my father never could.” Straight to her vagina! Shazaam!
But seriously, our internet GF is cheating on us?
I have two words of advice for you, Congressman Schock: Run away!
Aaron Schlong? Really?
Oh, wait. Schlock. Aaron Schlock. Sorry about the mistake.
“The freshman rep, known for his sexual move known informally as “The Schocker,” refused comment Tuesday.”
Why do I suddenly get a “Tainted Love” vibe from this?
Please touch me please!!
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you ignore me so
Now I’m going to post on my blog and go
Tainted love, tainted love (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted love (x2)
Tainted love (x3)
So Meghan is jonesing for some Schock Cock. Does this woman not understand that her father is probably the only straight guy in the party?
That article was waaaaaay too long for anything but a cursory skim, but here’s what I did get out of it: Megan McCain spoke to this handsome young congressman about her ideas for the future of the Republican party. He replied by telling her everything she wanted to hear because… well, he was just trying to get laid, you see. Finally: either these two didn’t actually do the nasty, or McCain is still thinking she’s going to hear from him again (poor girl).
Wake me up when they announce his engagement to Mary Cheney.
He’s just not that into capital gains tax relief. Microtrend.
I would tear him to shreds. Sersleh.
I wonder how sad she’ll be when Congressman Powerbottom (R-O’Hare United Terminal Restroom) finds out she isn’t a drag queen and has an actual vag?
Wake me up when her hymen breaks.
Halfway down page one I was laid out cold by the four horsemen of Megan McCain’s verbal apocolypse: garbled syntax, extra words, extra syllables on words and the passive voice. Even if, on page two, he ripped open her heaving bodice and she felt his insistent manhood pressing upon her, followed by them totally laying pipe, nothing was worth the effort to get there.
She’s in for a shocker.
OMIGOD YOU GUYZ
writes top journalist, Meghan McCain
Omigod omigod omigod you guys, squeal!!! i met this totally hawt guy an hes omigod AMAZING!!!! not like the rest of teh GOP like *YAWN* they are like soooooo mean to me, i am like, I so don’t care? like u can be mean to me if you want, but it wont get to me??? coz anyway my new bf *fingers n toesies crossed* will like kick ur ass!!! hes like Schock and Awesome!! omg.
Wait what is that shiny thing over there. brb.
(c) Meghan McCain 2009
S-c-h-o-c-k. It rhymes with PENIS.
Ummm….. Did anyone else catch this?
“and someone even my most liberal friends in West Hollywood are asking me about?”
I can give you one good reason your friends in WeHo are interested.
Meghan, Meghan, pathetically beggin’
How does your garden grow?
With voodoo dolls and Shockle’s balls
And a little bit of daddy’s dough
“But the most promising thing about the young congressman is his dual understanding of old-school conservative ideals and the GOP’s branding problem, if you will.”
If by promising you mean Sholck there ending up in an old-shcool Republican gay sex scandal that involves branding, then yes, I see your point, if you will. Also.
You know, I took one look at that picture and thou . . .
:::BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP:::
Wait a minute. The GAYDAR just went off. Got to be a false alarm. Let me re-set the circuit breaker.
:::BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP:::
Hmmm. That’s funny. Must be a power surge. Let me switch to the backup power supply.
:::BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP:::
Goddamn this stupid piece of shit. Chips must be bad. Let me give it a couple of whacks.
:::BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP:::
Hmmmmm. Well, it might be a sen . . . .
:::WHOOPWHOOPWHOOP:::
Oh, great. Now the “Wide Stance” detector is acting up.
I’ll have to get back to you . . . .
facehead: Win.
Meghan to Laura Ingraham, this time next week:
“Looks like I’m not the only Republican who’s ‘plus-sized’, bitch!”
Meghan McCain is on the steady path towards being the Tori Spelling of the political world.
“[Republicans] don’t believe that everybody should be paid the same wage or everyone is entitled to drive the same car. We need to play to their competitive nature and belief in the capital system, which is how our party is fundamentally different from the Democrats.”
Oh, yes — muuuuch different from the “They’re all socialists who want to steal from the rich to finance their abortions” line that the old GOP keeps towing. Now back to why Michael Steele isn’t appealing to urban young people with his hip, new message…
wheelie:like, so…so win
sorry ladies he’s ummmm taken?
Was his frat nickname Schock the Monkey?
P.S. In this picture, he looks like a bizarre combination of Quentin Tarantino and Neil Patrick Doogie Howser harris.
We interrupt this Wonkette blog for an important Michael Steele alert;
“How do you deal with the criticism?” GQ’s Lisa Depaulo asked Steele:
“I just pray on it,” Steele said.
“You do?”
“Oh yeah,” Steele said. “And I ask God, ‘Hey, let me show just a little bit of love, so I absolutely don’t go out and kick this person’s ass.’”
Now, back to your regularly scheduled snarkery. This has been a Michael Steele alert.
So I fucked Aaron Schock fifteen times last night and he’s STILL begging for more.
Just another whiny GOP welfare queen.
In the world of the hip-hop party chair, “pray” and “pee” mean the same thing.
P.S. I heard similar stories concerning one’s talk with God, but they mostly came out of the mouths of the mentally ill people I was defending in temporary commitment hearings.
OK, first we get Cohen. And then Penn. And now Meghan.
What is this, moranic hack day on Wonkette?
Neilist: Carson: Wins.
To get Meghan McCain’s attention I just have to be a young Republican congressman…
I can do that. For ‘dat badonkadonk.
Meghan, the problem with the Party of Jr. is not that it is “stereotyped as one for old, white men.” The problem is that it is “stereotyped as one for old, white men who like anonymous sex in mensrooms.”
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!: Everything will work out after Aaron takes Meghan home to meet his parents, Larry & Mark…
congressman schock more like congressman’s cock
So Meghan is all, like, “Aaron, it’s okay if you’re a homo, could I just be your beard?”
And Aaron is all, like, “Just a beard? Girlfriend, you’re like the whole gorilla costume!”
Schock actually gave me an answer an average person could understand. “In order for us to be a majority party,” he said, “we need to be everywhere, with every demographic and every region of the country. We have to recognize Republican candidates in the Northeast are going to be different than candidates in the Midwest, who are going to look different than candidates on the West Coast. We have to first recognize the fundamental role of any representative, to represent his constituents, not a particular party. That doesn’t mean you take the party platform necessarily and throw it out the window, but also that you don’t become so exclusive to say ‘Well if this person doesn’t agree with me 100 percent, then they aren’t a true Republican.’”
If anyone could really talk like this, they’d be the biggest douchebag alive. He didn’t “say” that. He may have written it. Or more likely, whoever’s ghosting Meghan’s blog wrote it.
Except the blog does contain lots of stooopid, so it’s puzzling.
Neilist: Win!
:::BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP:::
He’s a ‘mo, Meg. Try Boehner. I’m sure he likes pussy.
Chubby girls love Richard Simmons - and their look alikes.
And another thing: why is Boob Girl’s face fuzzed out behind the current holder of Abraham Lincoln’s House seat? It’s even that way on TMZ.com. WTF? Is it really Meghan?
So does this fit in with today’s theme of “Doomed Ventures” in any way, hengnnn?
Aaaaaaaww yeeeeah
Schock and AWE that fat ass!
Giggidy
V572625694: Can’t be — she’s not wearing a dumbass Greek fisherman’s cap.
Abs not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.
Meghan, this is a huge mistake. He’ll dump you when he gets to your mom, so she can bankroll his run for prez in 2012 and get free private jets and cheap beer.
aliphile: Yeah, I caught that. I know what MY friends in WeHo are interested in…
Neilist: Must be a Sony.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AyVh1_vWYQ
wheelie: Win.
This will lead to a Fox realty show in which twenty-something Republicans live together in a small apartment complex with a pool. Hijinks ensue.
yanquilandia: That was probably the meanest comment ever. And so true.
Hot bod, but a face like that creepy Colorado “I’m so gay, I’m actually st8″ preacher.
Oh hell, I’d still do him.
KTHXBAI: Have you been to the O’Hare United terminal? It is an insane wonderful of fun. First there’s a plane, INSIDE! That belonged to a guy named O’Hare! Past the plane is a FREAKING DINOSAUR. Well the bones are actually just metal made to look lik the bones, but a full scale brachiosaurus skeleton is none-the-less inside the O’Hare United terminal. Finally if you go below the dinosaur there’s this crazy psychadelic which tries to be impressive by having rainbow lights flashing above your head and all times. Some of the lights were out so it wasn’t incredible, I hear Detroit has a better one (ouch), but it was something to see.
He looks like every college Republican I ever knew. They were such forbidden fruit. One guy told me he never even jerked off.
SOMETHING MUST BE DONE about this incessant usage of the expression “at the end of the day”. I cannot take it anymore. I heard someone use it in an NPR interview three times within 2 or 3 minutes recently. For the love of DOG, people, there are many, many other ways to say what you are actually trying to say (hey, if you have to use a banal meaningless phrase, why not go out on a limb and try “after all is said and done”)
OK, I need to get back on the meds, I know.
The Cold Sea: Yes, were he a ‘tro, the picture would be of the back of his head…just sayin’
So very gay: http://www.popwired.com/images/2008/09/spl37596_010-treycruz.jpg
And so very very tiny: http://explore.bradley.edu/journalsfromtheroad/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/groupwithschock.jpg
Neilist: Victory!
S.Luggo: Not necessarily tiny; maybe the guy on the left is standing on a poor person.
The only permissible use of “at the end of the day” is in describing cricket scores (which I believe is where it came from). You know, “At the end of the day, England were standing at 275 with four wickets in hand.” I mean, you know that, right? Any cricket fans up in this bitch? ::crickets::
There are no straight dudes with abs that tight, other than professional athletes and Brad Pitt. And I’m pretty sure Brad’s done it with Clooney.
Neilist: Did you check the battery? Sometimes I remember to check mine unless I wake up feeling kind of all funny in my, uh… you know, back there.
aliphile: Yes, for the buttsecks!
Lazy Media: What does the ‘nil’ mean? I listen to BBC online and nil seems to happen a lot.
Doglessliberal: When the smoke clears, it’s just an easy mistake to make. That was my default conclusion on term papers people would pay me to write for them.
Doglessliberal: When it’s all said and done, “at the end of the day” is definitely no “run, don’t walk.”
S.Luggo: Oh my, he is tiny. He could get lost inside Meghan McCain’s vagina. Spelunking. Also.
facehead: She crushing on Schock though - a buttsecks update might prove more pertinent.
problemwithcaring: FTW. OMG. ROTFL. LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so it’s official, meghan mccain is the jennifer aniston of republican spawn; blonde, annoying, desperate for a relationship to complete her, and pining after some guy that looks like a wannabe ken doll. perhaps that comparison is unkind to jennifer aniston; at least she’s attractive and has a valid reason for her fame.
Enough with this, already!
I’ll do her.
(I’ll post the video on http://www.blackonblondes.com)
Lazy Media: Daniel Vettori will be in my dreams tonight.
chascates: “nil” is how you pronounce “zero” when reading out football (soccer) scores. Billy Connolly always used to joke that people thought his favourite team’s name was actually “Partick Thistle Nil”.
It’s no coincidence the congressman-turned-TMZ hottie is the first congressman born in the 1980s; he’s a member of my own Generation Y.
WTF is that even supposed to mean?! “I refer to him using masculine pronouns; on the other hand, he is a of course a member of the male gender. Deja vu, or just fate? You decide!”
Why did she leave out the part where he made her don a short black wig and a gi and pretend that she had a broken ankle, at which point he put on his Cobra Kai gear, put Joe “Beans” Esposito’s “You’re The Best” on repeat, and had all-nite buttsecks with her?
Why is that dingbat in our faces now, anyway? She is so irrelevant. Is Tina Brown just thinking she’ll let her dig her own grave? Is that the gag? I just don’t get it.