rigged soviet-style elections

Liz Kucinich on ‘Cleveland’s Dancing with the Stars’

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Hold me closer tiny dancerThe hot wife of lovable libtard Congressman Dennis Kucinich has entered some dancing-type contest in her adopted city of Cleveland, home of downtown shooting victims, accused mutilators, and drunken wreckers of motorized bar stools. Congressman Kucinich would like you to vote for Elizabeth on Cleveland’s Dancing with the Stars, a vigorous competition featuring Cleveland celebrities. Tune in to News Channel 5 between 5am and 7am on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and then vote or whatever. Just vote. How do you vote? Who knows, your editor can’t even make the videos work on that news site. [The Hill]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Pizzuti

    I’m excited for the part where she throws him high up into the air and catches him.

  • Min

    The crop and the embedded text. Bwah!

  • jagorev

    Wait, doesn’t this post assume that it’ll be read by Clevelanders, which means they have the internet in Cleveland? That’s a bit of a stretch, SKS.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Another alt-text WIN. And damn you for putting that Elton John in my head.

  • Gallowglass

    I imagine she’s more of a clog dancer.

  • AzDownboy

    I would like to offer an applause for the cropping of the photo

  • space stout

    i certainly hope that competitors must dance in/on some body of water that has been set on fire.

  • PopeyesPipe

    For a news channel that’s ostensibly about Cleveland, the linked stories all seem to be about Columbus. Cleveland’s so depressed, it doesn’t even want to talk about it.

  • Mild Midwesterner

    Shorty got low low low low low low low.

  • coolicula

    Yeah, Ol’ Dennis the Menace would like to be over five-foot too! Even if she gets dances nekkid she won’t beat out LeBron James in any celibrity contest in Cleveland!

  • Scarab

    Did you know that “Kucin” means “throbbing twelve”?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Wait! Wait! Wait! There’s something I need to understand here.

    Cleveland has celebrities?

  • magic titty

    She’s bound to run off with Lebron James and/or Grady Sizemore if they show up.
    Sorry, Dennis.

  • user-of-owls

    Who woulda thunk a post featuring Cleveland, Congressman K and a dance competition would bring out such commenting hilarity? I started to do the “Win” thing…but there were too many. You are all winners. It’s like the Special Fucking Olympics.

  • Gopherit

    Please tell me it’s a pole-dancing competition? Please!

  • PopeyesPipe

    [re=277462]ManchuCandidate[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmVCdPe2_Ao

  • TGY

    Let her demonstrate grace, precision, and style and then I’ll vote for her. I ain’t no floozy judge, except, of course, I am.

  • norbizness

    All the six-foot chicks with the non-existent lips say CLEVELAND ROCKS

  • Zadig

    [re=277477]user-of-owls[/re]: Is Hopey going to come to the thread and make fun of us?

  • ToDamPrivilege

    The barstool DUI happened in Nerk. Please let them have that, because the motorized barstool and the giant Longaberger basket are all they have left.

  • HoboNutz

    As a Cleveland native I feel it is my duty to stand up and defend Cleveland’s honor. However, I got nuthin’. Carry on.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=277506]Zadig[/re]: Damn straight. And he’s bringing Rod “Fucking” Blago with him.

    [re=277490]norbizness[/re]: Oh, and stop with the ‘wins’ already…damn funny hooples.

  • Zadig

    [re=277520]HoboNutz[/re]: Dereliction of duty is cowardly and very very practical.

  • Fox n Fiends

    i’d like to show her some vigorous competition

  • sati demise

    They are, however, the odds on favorite to win the Limbo competition.

    “How low…can you go?”

  • Mahousu

    Having spent some quality time in Cleveland, I’m assuming that for them, “Dancing with the Stars” means “Lap Dancing with the Stars” … ?

  • L Urchin

    It bears repeating: All hail, SKS, Alt Text Queen!

  • bitchincamaro

    Is she the kind of gal who knows all 16 dances?


  • bago

    [re=277565]Mahousu[/re]: It bears repeating: All hail, SKS, Alt Text Queen!

  • Red Zeppelin

    Will there be Cleveland Steamers involved?

  • Senhor Tambor

    [re=277441]jagorev[/re]: What’s the difference between Cleveland and The Titanic? Cleveland has a better orchestra. (I escaped in 1996)

  • Senhor Tambor

    [re=277447]space stout[/re]: Fire was in 1969. There’s so much more to pick on, if you put up a little effort. Nothing is lamer than lazy snark.

  • Jukesgrrl

    She’s going to tap dance the pocket Constitution in Morse Code.

  • Bruno

    If you can buy political elections, I thought for sure you could buy an phone competition. Maybe Cleveland is a strict place, with Islamic law & all

  • Brendan M.

    [re=277511]ToDamPrivilege[/re]: You’re goddamn right! That local hero on the motorized bar stool ended up in the hospital where I was born (but, thankfully, I was not raised in Nerk). Did you know that “Proud to be from Newark, Ohio” is a common bumper sticker you see in Licking County? True story, and sad. That giant basket is the area’s greatest landmark, unless you count the ancient mounds, built according to advanced astronomical understanding, that are considered one of the most important archaeological sites in North America, but Newark is also where great statesman Bob Ney (now an ex-con!) was from.

    Anyway, for all you people bashing Cleveland, that’s awful ingratitude for the city that brought you rock and roll, the greatest vegan (and sweetest person) in Congress, and Great Lakes beer. Besides, Cincinnati, Youngstown, Akron, and Newark are much worse.

  • Red Zeppelin

    What, there is a Licking County? Is it right next to Blowjob County?

  • Moonpie

    [re=278252]Brendan M.[/re]: I nominate Mansfield be added to the Odious Ohio list. It is, after all, home of THE Living Bible Museum; Ohio’s only life-sized wax museum. You haven’t REALLY lived until you’ve looked into the glass eyes of a shiny wax lord. The city is now so poor they can’t afford to have Fourth of July fireworks, also and. Much, much, much worse than Cleveland. Of course, in discussing terrible Ohio cities, there’s probably no stopping point, there seem to be quite a lot of them. Great Lakes Conway’s Irish Ale…you betcha.

    [re=278331]Red Zeppelin[/re]: No Blowjob County…but there is a Wood County…though it isn’t near Licking (neither are Beaver Township or Sugar Bush Knolls, though they all really should be.)

    Let’s give credit where credit is due…THIS is mutilation, Cleveland style: