Wonkette
We never ever ever ever have any idea what Esquire is going on about, with this “Man of Now” or “Women With Boobs” or “Oh Christ She Is Really Amazing-Looking Isn’t She?” or whatever, but everybody loves to laugh at Alaska’s “first dude,” now being stage-managed by Scientologist weirdos Greta Van Susteren and her husband, Xenu da Squib, so here you go, it’s Todd Palin, just cold goin’ bonkers while Anger Bear is out of town executing wolves or stealing entire cargo ships of luxury goods. [Esquire]
Man for America Now? I thought he hated America and is part of a group to make Alaska it’s own country or something.
I never noticed how much he looks like a broke-ass Cmdr Riker.
Didn’t Esquire distinguish itself by calling Angelina Jolie “the best woman in the world” or some such?
Why, yes they did: http://www.slate.com/id/2168707/
What a fine, fine piece of journalism that excellent magazine is. To call it “gay” would be an insult to teh geys.
I thought we elected Hope for the Man for America Now..whatthefuck??
Everybody wants Alaska for themselves, the Russians, Todd Palin.
It’s hard to believe that Sarah married down, isn’t it?
Esquire is in teh TANK!
Do we still say stuff like that?
Min: It was probably up, at the time.
Make them go away. Please, make them go away. Enough with the loser Palins. They’re the worst thing about America.
I can see bullshit from my house!
It says Nathaniel Welch did all the stills, should go well with one of his other bodies of work…
http://www.nathanielwelch.com/#a=0&at=0&mi=2&pt=1&pi=10000&s=7&p=1
classy
I find it hard to believe a site infested by D&D types could ever ever EVAH mock Lara Croft.
I can see it. He’s a Larry McMurtry character. Texasville, except he’s more Alaskaville. There’s a certain appeal of a guy just going along taking care of bizness while the shitstorm rages about him.
Isn’ that the magazine created by Bill S. Preston Esquire?
Jesus Christ, I’ve seen seal-clubbing videos that were easier to stomach.
Nice to see Esquire is doing their part to herald a new generation of Repub puppets-in-training. (”Hey, they look like what Merica has become so Merica will think they’ve voted for themselves!”)
Hey Alaska - Arkansas just called and said they’re willing to take you back.
Krasdale: That was perhaps the most appallingly tawdry thing I’ve ever seen outside of a Girls Gone Wild commercial. What did he just cut/paste his facebook SPRINGBREAK07 album into a portfolio? Yeah, he’ll do the Palins justice.
To be fair, they changed the pic on the SarahPAC ad. She doesn’t look constipated any more.
But I still think her creative sucks. Don’t they know that the nutters want jugs?
Custerwolf: You’re thinking of Lionel Hutz, Esquire.
I’ve never understood all this criticism of the Hick of the Tundra for his support of that Alaskan Secession Party, or whatever it’s called. Wouldn’t Alaskan Secession be the best thing for the union in half a century? We can get our oil and crabs elsewhere, people.
Todd Palin: The Man For America NOW…because he’s a loser, just like you!
V572625694:
As a point of order, calling anything “gay” in a derogatory fashion is technically an insult to teh gays. Not that I give a shit- you can call me faggot if you want, I don’t mind, I think it sounds kinda butch- but still…
Zadig: Nah, fuck that. We paid the Czar good money for that place. Be damned if some inbred Arkansas transplants are gonna hijack it.
Populist “He’s Just Like Us!” shit like this makes me so irritated. Could we at least attempt to raise the bar, America? Could we try to finish high school and go on to college? Could we try to not get pregnant before we can legally drink? Could we try to not be so goddamn stupid? Please?
Well THAT was video was just about as compelling as an appendicectomy.
Stupid wolverine.
Gallowglass: We paid for Louisiana, too. That does not necessarily mean that keeping it is a good thing. Think of it like owning a Chrysler. Giving it away for free might be the best thing that ever happened to you.
NoWireHangers: Populism, no matter what the level, is stupid. Doesn’t it make more sense to idolize people that are better than us? Greek priests were into the whole “gods like us” nonsense, and those guys got drunk and fucked each other’s wives/cousins/nephews in some bizarre trailer park soap. The only thing that made them gods was that they could do all of the above in the form of a randy bull.
My! Such catty comments.
I suspect you are all prejudiced against Esquimos. Or Eskimos? Esquimalts? Or something.
Tommmcatt: I do so love the word ‘homo’ (having grown up with it), but after seeing ‘Milk” for the first time last week, I must admit I gained a whole new appreciation for what you’re saying. The only gripe I had against the New York City queers was that SO MANY of them were unbelievably gorgeous and I felt like the retarded kid seated in the back of the classroom stuck with a stupid old vagina.
NoWireHangers: Well, if he must be “Man for America” at some point (not evident), it’s true that it could only be while the whole country’s derivative is falling off a cliff.
And what was that godawful music? A Toby Keith imitation of Jimmy Hendrix?
Lascauxcaveman: Esquiremos.
Well, it’s easier to see now why Sarah was screwing his business partner.
That was an interesting Jolie article. It was a very detailed summary of why I was not sufficiently qualified as a human being to apply any descriptors at all to Angelina Jolie.
Snow mobile=Snow machine is like America=Alaska in Wasillan.
WHEN AMERICA IS UNDER THE GRIPS OF LIBRALS AND ETHNNICS, UNDER THE POWER OF GOD AND WITCHCRAFT, TODD PALIN WILL HELP US SEXEED FROM LIBRAL AMERICA!!
Todd Palin is the man for America now. Really? Really? Like we don’t have enough problems. Esquire needs to leave him and his hillbilly backstory alone. They’re not doing him any favors with the whole “the baby’s grandmother was arrested with oxydone” business and they’re not doing any of the rest of us any favors by reminding us his wife was almost vice president. Let’s let that long national nightmare die.
Custerwolf:
I’m sure your vaginia is lovely, dear, and there are plenty of commenters here that would have a great deal of appreciation for it.
Oddly enough, the only place I’ve ever been called a “faggot” by a straight person in the street was San Francisco. I come from a rural community and didn’t hear it there once.
Hero for Our Times.
Zadig: It looks like Todd’s body mass is largely composed of oil and crabs.
TODD PALIN DOESN’T NEED A TELEPROMPTER
HE COULD PROBABLY BE PRESIDENT IF THE TELEPROMPTERS LET HIM
Zadig: $15 million for 1/3 of the continent wasn’t a bad deal, Bobby Jindal aside. It galls me to think of giving up one of the few pristine places in the world so these welfare queen shitbirds can drive their snowmobiles real fast, shoot all the wildlife from helicopters and tromp around pretending to be Sourdough Jack, Man of the Wilderness. Fuck the people, we should hold onto Alaska for the bears.
Tommmcatt: I know. Bad habit. Hereby resolve to break it.
“Dick beard”. Also.
Funny, when our sisters marry guy like Todd, we call them “lazy motherfuckers”, not “Man for America”
Gallowglass: Did I neglect to mention they’ll probably beg for their government pork again after less than three years on their own? Because that would be satisfying. That, or they’d get their asses kicked in a war on Canada, which would be the single most embarrassing event in history.
Gorillionaire: Prison pussy?
This “video” is just an early preview of April Fools’, right? Or is it Fools in April (and May and June and July and…)?
that video gave me a seizure, i want my monies back. but the “how to shave” at the end brought me out of it, and made me laugh mockingly instead.
eh, I’d hit it
I dunno if he’s the man for American now, but he might suffice as the man for me for right now. A little Alaska DILF action is what I need now.
V572625694:
Eh, Like I say, no foul. This is Wonkette, for christ’s sakes.
V572625694: I dunno, I think you used the term correctly here. A lot of actual gays would probably back me up on this. When somebody dismisses something as “gay,” it can be a pretty fitting pejorative for something that’s sort of showy, self absorbed and tacky in a kind of fabulous way. Like a really obvious and annoying camp queen.
Like Todd Palin in Esquire.
Lascauxcaveman:
As an actual gay, I passionately don’t care how people use the term, if such a thing is possible, but as a annoying noodge I am compelled to mention that such use is tantamount to using the words “African-American” to mean “Lazy”, “Jewish” to mean “Greedy”, or “Native-American” to mean “Alcoholic”.
But, like I say, knock yourself out. Just don’t call me late to brunch…
And thus concludeth our gay-ass lexicographical lesson.
If the Palin family saga was a novel it would be written by:
a. Tennessee Williams
b. Erskine Caldwell
c. Robert W. Service
d. L. Ron Hubbard
chascates: e. Hunter S Thompson
norbizness: And not a moment too soon.
Tommmcatt: That was the epiphany I had after watching Milk (and thank you for the sweet compliment on my vag). I’ve used the words, “faggot,” “homo,” “fuckinggay,” or “fuckingdyke” (always one word) exclusively perjoratively. I refer to people’s sexual preference as gay (and sometimes queer). My 71 year old heterosexual mother’s best friend is gay - and I sometimes refer to her as lesbian, but usually it’s gay. What became clear to me was exactly what you are pointing out - that gay shouldn’t = anything other than sexual preference. Really. The reason it took me so long to become conscious of the fact that I was doing this is because there are no words anyone can call me that would offend me (they were all used up on me as a kid and I pretty much became immune - my mother even used to call me a cunt on occasion - usually when I deserved it), so I failed to notice that it’s not so with everyone else. I need some new invective. P.S. I thought us micks were the alcoholics?
Custerwolf:
Identity politics are A) sometimes convoluted and B) as Norbizness and V572625694 point out, almost always boring. I have to admit that as a young queer it used to bother me, but then I realized that peoples choice of words say nothing about me and everything about them…plus, we are hypocrites, I have buddies I call up sometimes just to CALL them a faggot, I’ve turned guys down because they I thought they were “too faggy”, etc. I just thought the original comment was ironic so I pointed it out…
Tommmcatt: “peoples’ choice of words say nothing about me and everything about them.”
That, put quite nicely and succinctly, is the only reason I wish to become more aware of what comes out of my mouth. It’s not to be PC. That said, I will no doubt continue to call my boyfriend a retarded twat should circumstances demand it.
Tommmcatt: No I don’t think your analogy holds. My gay friends roll their eyes, muttering “He’s SO gay,” only when talking about the real showy, campy queens. Or someone having one of those campy-queen moments. They are not saying everyone who is gay is “so gay.”
Zadig: Louisiana is good for both. As the T-shirt I got at Mardi Gras one year before Bush became President of Hurricanes sez:
FORGET THE FISH, HONEY
I’M COMING HOME WITH THE CRABS
Custerwolf: Tommmcatt: This is why God invented the word “ghey”, also “gai”. Also.
That video seriously needs a Rickroll.
Lascauxcaveman: “real niggaz” refer to themselves as such.
Lascauxcaveman:
In other words, not ALL black people are n—-rs!