Wonkette
Not too long ago, some of the most coveted jobs in Washington lay in the Republican National Committee. Its employees went to work at noon, were fed peeled grapes by strapping young men in American flag-themed loincloths, dined on baby whale-steaks with the world’s most creative and decadent war criminals, and then rode home on gold-plated dildos at 4pm sharp. But now under the leadership of Michael Steele, RNC gigs gotten so depressing that long-time employees are leaving.
The latest defection: the organization’s CFO and chief administrator, Jay Banning, is abandoning his post after 33 years. Why? Who knows! But would you want to work for an actual insane person who goes on TV blabbing such nonsense as “I’m done” with the president because the president has allegedly not returned Chairman Steele’s phone calls, even though the president has been extremely solicitous of Republicans throughout his short tenure in office?
Shit, just watch this clip to the point where Steele avows that he is not jealous of Obama for being president because he is head of the RNC, which is equally awesome. Not that every politician must be compared to an NBC comedy character, but there is a touch of Michael Scott’s pointedly stupid narcissism in this guy.
GOP Watch: More RNC staff cuts [First Read]
RNC’s Michael Steele On President “I’m Done” [The YouTubes]
Never enough Steele.
It’s OK, many people displaced by the implosion of the Whig Party found gainful employ as cabinetmakers, pargeters, whittawers, bobbin turners, and snake oil mountebanks.
Why would I envy Michael Steele? I’m the captain of an ultimate frisbee team. He’s the leader of the RNC. I’m not equating them. Well, actually they are pretty equivalent.
SKS, is that his real ’stache, or part of the blingee? It’s all blurring together!
“When I’m bein’ told things like ‘YOUR DOING IT WRONG’, I could just get all frustrated and give up, but that’s now how I roll baby!”
Have the Republicans not figured out that they are the minority party? Does Conservapedia (or however you spell it) not mention that little inconvenient fact? Or maybe Steele is calling on that primitive, deep-seated emotion that caused many of us at the age of six or seven to avow to our parents that we were running away from home and never coming back?
Crab1: Win. His, however, lacks the “ultimate” moniker. He should be jealous, um, professionally.
The gold plated dildos were sold as part of the McCain campaign’s going out of business sale.
The Republican Party: Leading America through the darkness with an 8-watt bulb.
norbizness: Snake Oil Mountebank is an actual job description at the RNC. It’s just below Associate Bling Bling Facilitator on the organizational chart.
PsycGirl: Only to make it just as far as the back yard, where we angrily finished off our zip-locked Teddy Grahams, at which point realized we lacked the provisions to reach Cali?
Best blingee ever.
Love the way his eyes dart back’n'forth from interviewer to camera…
sorta reminds me of a bad experience I had trying to buy a used car…
otherwise, meh.
user-of-owls: a torch and a hood.
norbizness: Huzzah! Perhaps they might also explore careers as fruit tramps.
PsycGirl: Steele to Obama: You’re not the boss of me! *slams bedroom door*
There goez Mike Steezy fuckin’ BRINGIN’ it, baby!
Why should I be jealous of the preznizzle? I’m The Chairman, bootch!
All up in ya FACE!
You be the man, Mike-
also too.
Limbaugh is Chris Farley on SNL. (VAN down by the RIVER?)
The reference is old, but SNL is missing their “the fat guy” cast member. Unless you count Keenan Thompson, but he is “the black guy”. Except when Fred Armisen is.
he starts channeling David Brent at about 0:52. coming soon: a hiphop version of Freeway of Love
Come here a minute: Well, Rush has been living on that steady diet of government cheese, and yelling about how the Dems would amount to “JACK SQUAT!”, so I see the similarity.
“I would become frustrated to the point where I would give up and just go away.”
–Michael Steele
I look forward to this but not too soon.
Does Michael Steele have to pay royalties to Jon Lovitz/ Tommy Flanagan?
We should ask Morgan Fairchild, who Michael Steele has slept with. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
So they’re finally going Galt. Civilization, as we knew it, is doomed. DOOMED!
Consider this Wonketteers, the other choice they had for RNC chair was a racist who was “traumatized” by going to school with the dark kids and only “resigned” from a whites only golf club when it was highlighted by the media.
So Repubs, how’s that 1000 year Reich, er, permanent majority working out for ya?
OF COURSE all the old skool whitey GOP is alienated by Steele. This boyee’z OFF THE HOOK, bringin’ it and keepin’ it REAL! Mofo’s straight outta COMPTON! He KNOWS what time it is, homiez.
It takes a nation of MILLIONS! And 9/11’s a joke. [And an inside job.]
Also. Such as.
He looks like Larry David in blackface.
Not that every politician must be compared to an NBC comedy character
Not?
Also, Xzibit says “SUP DAWG I HERD U LIKE STUPID SO WE PUT SOME STUPID IN YOUR REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE SO YOU CAN STUPID WHILE YOU STUPID.”
Come here a minute: Horatio Sanz did a great job doubling as the fat guy and the Hispanic guy but that’s over now too. Were you referring to the end of that sketch where Farley inevitably did major damage by stumbling?
Did you see Colbert’s “Rap Battle” clip? They took audio clips of Steele from interviews and edited them together. Seriously hysterical:
http://www.hilarious.net/colbert-steele-rap-battle/
It’s only the CFO. Overall RNC efficienciy will probably go up, providing he’s not replaced.
He says he’s done. I’ve always believed you should stick a fork in it to see for yourself if it’s done. So somebody stick a fork in him already!
And still not a single intelligent person has endeavored to throw an Oreo at this motherfucker. WERE RUNNING OUT OF TIME PEEPLE.
Crab1: See, now you’ve gone and made me feel “less than.” You and my analyst will be very happy, I’m sure.
Would you?!
Thank god for Reagraham Lincool. It was almost starting to look like these people shouldn’t be taken seriously.
Maybe I misheard, but after:
Q. “You’ve reached out?”
A. “Several times.”
@ 0:12
Q. “So there’s no bi-partisan jism?”
A. “No, not on my part.”
Proof positive that the prez DOES NOT HAVE A THING FOR YOU, MISTER STEELE!!!
Crab1: well played, sir or ma’am!
They weren’t ‘gold’ plated dildoes, they were shiny plastic, buffed up by nude Chinese boys.
After drinking the Jim Jones juice the conservaloons at the seance were told they were gold by Saint Ronnie Reagan’s ghost.
I might have to agree with Steele on his “right side of history” argument. The same logic that says he had to support Obama’s presidential bid because he is black, is the same logic that spawned the PUMAS and the whole “women must vote for Hillz” thing.
At the same time, black republicans are the worst b/c you’re basically lying to yourself that the majority of people in the republican party aren’t seething racists who hate your guts–ahem–Michael.
Hedley Lamar: I take issue with that.
http://wonkette.com/404254/liveblogging-obamas-first-hopeference-with-the-terrible-media
I can’t believe I’m about to type this, but if the RNC would actually like try to do things honestly (see: John McCain when shitfucker conservatards aren’t ruining his career - like yesterday on Meet The Press when he was actually likeable!!!!!zomg), they might actually get someone to like them and vote for their candidates!
Make sure you keep you change the oil in your gold-plated dildo or it will throw a rod, or possibly require a new cam shaft.
Come here a minute: OMG Chris Farley would have done a great Limbaugh!
Play Montell Jordan “this is how we do it” and which
MC Steele spit fire on them clowns.
This guy is so powerfully clueless, self-absorbed and ignorant it’s almost pitiful. But pleeeease let him stay on at least til the 2010 elections!
norbizness: Awesome paleologic nostalgia! +1!
Edgiest Blingee ever. Just one twinkling gold tooth would push it a hundred miles into Tacky Territory. As it is, it’s like the Great Pyramid calmly balanced upside down, motionless, forever. Ommmmmmmm.
Bring me the Moustache of Geraldo Rivera!
GIJoeIce: And acts like Larry David in black face. Hmmmmm.
Racists dont like the hiphops and the urban flavors.
arclight: Whatever it is that you’re on, I’d really like some of that. There’s no coming back for any of these longtime schmucks. It’s not the people, it’s not how likable they are, it’s the very premise of conservatism that has failed.
Here’s the fucking enchilada:
Women: you and your vaginas are the property of the government, and all men
Minorities: How did you get out of prison? Police! Police! Throw them back behind bars so our prison industry says profitable!
All workers everywhere: You are working for free starting now. In fact, you owe us for the privilege of working. Back to work!
Sick people: You know, home is a nice place to die.
Immigrants: You’re a subgroup of minorities that requires even worse prisons.
Young people: You shall not have teh sex. Evar!
The Media: Ha! We own the Liberal Media, you fucking suckers! And now for 24 hour a day Rush radio with 700 Club video in the background.
Eek, I made myself sick by thinking about this.
Michael Steele is the Republican Magnum PI, and he’s gonna solve their woes in his Caddy with spinning rims and thumping bass.
arclight: Yep John McCain, smelling like a rose, as long as the rose in question is one that has just recently been pulled out of someone’s ass.
2druk2phluq: That just about sums it up.
TruckNutz 4 all.
Would the RNC hire a bunch of laid off auto workers? That would temporarily solve some of our employment woes while simultaneously ensuring that the party continues to grow outdated and unable to compete in the marketplace!
One benefit to having people quit the RNC is that it’ll open up jobs for unemployed people. Look at it as the Republican Party’s very-own stimulus bill.
Well Repubs, that’s what happens when you get one of those damn
Affirmative Action hires.
This pathetic negro is about as representative of the Republican
party as those eager-to-please splibs who are so COVETOUS of
membership in a whites-only country club.
Any self-respecting black person wouldn’t give a damn about
hobnobbing with those arrogant bastards, but this kind of
Stepin Fetchit splib makes such things his life’s obsession.
Now if he wants to REALLY make his mark as RNC Chair, get his
“soul brother” Roland Burris to JUMP to the GOP.
The ONLY thing that will require is to promise that little shit
another title to place on his mausoleum.
Pathetic Stpin Fetchit splib bitch.
Why Banning “left”:
1. Steele’s gaydar finally started working. http://www.washingtonblade.com/2004/10-15/news/national/gopgay.cfm
2. Banning became upset with Steele’s plan to convert all RNC liquid assets into a warehouse full of MD 20/20 and Newports, or
3. Banning failed to apologize to Rush for something Steele said..
“Nerves of Steele” — who knew?
Having lived in Banning for a half-dozen years, I think it’s the third time I’ve seen the word in the same sentence with “high-ranking.”
Does Conservapedia (or however you spell it) not mention that little inconvenient fact?
How the hell would they know? They only go there looking for gay porn.
Oh you’re done all right. I’m going to miss your amusing demeanor. Sigh. Jealous, Why? Because he’s president? Shit, I’m the head of the RNC, and I am a serious alligator.
Wasn’t that CFO caught out with a profile on gay.com touting his “8 real inches, not internet inches”?
Oh man, this guy is comedy gold. Just keep asking him questions.
Someone ask him if he ever had a jheri curl?
ooh, ooh, and tell him to show us if he can still moonwalk.
Do that and I guarantee he starts Beat boxin’.