Wonkette
- The government looked at GM and Chrysler’s plans for saving themselves and snorted in derision. Now GM might go into bankruptcy, while Chrysler has to merge with Fiat in the next 30 days. [Reuters]
- The Arab League met in Qatar and complained about Israel. Noteworthy guests included the Sudanese war criminal Omar al-Bashir. [BBC News]
- A Chinese-based cyberspying network has the power to turn on web cameras and audio systems on hacked machines. In other words, Chinese spies are watching you masturbate. [Al Jazeera]
- If the US refuses to prosecute torture advocates such as John Yoo, David Addington, and Alberto Gonzales, then perhaps the Spanish courts will. [New York Times]
- The president who refused to hire lobbyists, and who vowed to reduce the influence of lobbying in Washington, happened to introduce a stimulus package that attracts lobbyists like hummingbirds to sugar-water. [Washington Post]
- Pakistani militants laid siege to a police academy in Lahore, but have now been captured or killed by government security forces. [Wall Street Journals]
Modern Chinese Secret, huh?
Sort of changes that racist rhyme that kids used to tell me in the playground.
Me Chinese, Me do hack.
Me watch you while you whack.
Wow, this is Rick Wagoner’s biggest upset since he came home to find Wonder Woman in bed with Ellen DeGeneris.
If the courts in Spain pursue our domestic war criminals, it would certainly come as a pleasant surprise. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Poor GM, why doesn’t the moronic american population continue to buy bloated, overpriced, low-tech SUVs built by overpaid, indifferent workers, they just don’t get it… At least Chrysler, mated with Fiat, may one day offer smaller vehicles that make sense in today’s world. Maybe.
So I’m the only one cool with Chinese hackers watching me masturbate?
WadISay:
Heh.
I’m disappointed. It’s gotten this far without any Steve Guttenberg jokes?
“Mr. Yoo defended his work in an opinion column in The Wall Street Journal on March 7, warning that the Obama administration risked harming national security if it punished lawyers like himself.”
In a related development, Mike Tyson cautioned the Obama administration against prosecuting deadbeat dads and rapists.
Thirty days for the American auto industry to completely change its structure and direction? Hilarious. If this actually happens I would rank it in a category of “unexpected” akin to scientists discovering accordion music cures cancer.
Fortunately, I use Linux. So my webcam doesn’t work.
magic titty: Only if yer a dude. All of the strippers I know tape over their laptops.
About that Israeli strike in Sudan last week, looks like the U.S. was involved and warned the Sudan of the attack before it occurred:
http://www.governmentalityblog.com/my_weblog/2009/03/the-us-part-in-israeli-strike-in-sudan.html
Hummingbirds are the new hobo taste treat.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Win.
Man, those hackers must be REALLY bored if they’re willing to seek out that sort of “entertainment”
Is it espionage if we pay them to send us embarrassing video of famous politicians?
In other words, Chinese spies are watching you masturbate.
Thanks, SKS, for making the entire workforce at NIH do a collective, horrified shudder.
FMA: Please, we’re in mourning. Who think stormed the academy and was shot?
Too soon man, too soon.
Like hummingbirds, lobbyists can perform 200 strokes per second.
WadISay: The pain from Spain will fall mainly on McCain. Ok, fine…you try working that with Yoo or Gonzales.
Seriously though, once Baltazar gets his dientes in your ass, life can get pretty miserable…at least if you ever want to use your passport again. Just call Hell and ask for Pinochet.
Come here a minute: +3.1415926
German engineering and business acumen couldn’t fix Chrysler, but the Italians will???
After they give up in disgust, there’s only one more Axis power left. Is this some kind of post-war time bomb built into the Tripartite Pact, designed to humiliate a defeated empire long after it was defeated? Ooooh, the irony.
If one is masturbating within range of a functioning webcam, the Chinese are certainly entitled to know about it. It’s the cyber equivalent of walking around in hot pants, fuck-me pumps and a wet t-shirt. YOURE JUST ASKING FOR IT.
bitchincamaro:
Think of it this way: if the Italians can find a way to keep FIAT alive, then surely they can keep Chrysler going.
bitchincamaro: Serolf Divad: OMG! Check out the breaking news headline over at the Detroit Free Press: CHRYSLER TROOPS MARCH ON ABYSINNIA!
Well, crap! If I’ve got an audience, it’s time I stepped up my game. Bring out the midgets and kitchen utensils!
Maybe the key is for GM to drastically scale down and become a niche carmaker for the maybe 2% of people who don’t want identical gold/silver-mist colored toyota camrys…
If the Chinese wanted to spy on me with my webcam, they shouldn’t have sent me a laptop with a broken one built in. Seriously, what the fuck kind of brand is “Compal”? They’re just trying to trick you into thinking it’s Compaq! Who would want to PRETEND to be Compaq??!?
magic titty: No, you aren’t. I was actually going to point out that not only is that oddly kind of hot, but also probably a good chance for a cultural exchange of sorts. Consider it an attempt to educate themselves.
Ceiling Cat is a ChiCom?! Goddamnit!
Pakistan…one maniacal laugh away from total societal collapse.
The Arab League met in Qatar and complained about Israel.
Shocked onlookers were still more surprised to learn that water is wet, and fire is hot.
Jsab: A: threadjack attempt without a masturbation reference is a SNARK FOUL and B: the FA says the U.S. knew that weapons were being smuggled into Gaza through Sudan and warned the Sudanese of that, not that they warned of this particular air attack (or any other). Fail on all counts.
If Fiat doesn’t want them, perhaps Chrysler can resurrect and merge with Trabant. Or Lada.
Baltasar Garzón is about as badass as a judge can be.
Maybe in addition to (or as part of)’The Daily Briefing’ you could have a column reserved especially for “Today’s Mass Murder and/or Murder/Suicide.”
Holyfuckingpissshittingchrist.
We got another one.
The NSA has been spying on us for years. I’m really happy to have Chinese competition & is this how they got the Biden daughters coke party?
No one expectes the SPANISH Inquisition!hope they go for all the bush/cheney team!
36th! But seriously, if anyone happens to read this…turdsandwich!
I lobby. It’s the truth. And it stands beyond what words can capture how sickening it was to watch the foaming of the mouths and gnashing of the teeths that was the stimulus lobbying effort. Yeah, yeah: spending–>stimulative. It was all, “Hey, let’s commit our organization to the 300th sign-on letter for money for x, y, z.” Fun.