Wonkette
What the hell blew up in the skies over the Maryland-to-North Carolina Atlantic coast last night? Thousands of people supposedly saw terrifying Light Monsters floating down from the Heavens, and then heard horrific booms and thunder and such, and … well it almost sounds like a summer thunderstorm, SCARY, but it is not summer, or something? Global Warming? Let’s quickly & cheaply examine the frightful evidence.
- WAVY is investigating the loud boom and bright flash in the sky witnessed by hundreds of thousands of people around 9:40 Sunday night. People from Maryland to North Carolina have called 10 on your side and wavy.com reporting the flash. [WAVY.com]
- Reports of a bright light and in some places, an explosion-like sound, poured into law-enforcement offices across eastern Virginia, Maryland and North Carolina last night. “The phone is ringing off the hook,” said meteorologist Sonia Mark at the National Weather Service’s Wakefield station. She said Suffolk police were looking into “reports of great balls of fire landing on the ground.” [Times Dispatch]
- Were they meteors? A comet? UFOs? People from Maryland to Hampton Roads heard loud explosions and saw brilliant, streaking lights in the sky Sunday night. There was no immediate explanation, the National Weather Service office in Wakefield said. The Virginia Beach 911 center had numerous calls waiting just before 10 p.m., a supervisor said. The Weather Service said reports were made from Dorchester County, Md., to the Virginia/North Carolina border. People said they saw a streak in the sky and heard an explosion. [HamptonRoads.com]
- Emergency crews fanned out across the city looking for whatever caused a loud explosion Sunday night. At around 9:45 911 dispatchers started receiving calls from people reporting a light in the sky followed by a loud boom. Some reported that the explosion caused their homes to shake. However, emergency crews could find no evidence of any kind of explosion. No injuries, fires or damage were reported. The National Weather Service had few answers. Jennifer McNatt, a meteorologist said the service had been in touch with the Navy, Air Force and NASA, but none of those organizations had any unusual activity to report. [WVEC.com]
no doubt it was god looking for obama’s birth certificate… or a new recruiting technique for mike steele over at the rnc…
Are all the Christians missing? I think I’ve got some champagne…
SayItWithWookies: Damn, you beat me to a rapture reference!
My vote was it was Jeebus’ landing flares.
“Honey, git the young-uns in the truck. We’s goin’a North Carolahnuh!”
TeLePRomPTER ALAH
calibrating…
Rush’s nuts must have banged against Steele’s chin EXTRA HARD.
/BIG SALE ON RUSHNUTZ!!!1!, also
Oh wait, wait…Rush just admitted on his morning show that he was just igniting his own special variety of “swamp gas” again to entertain his 10th wife.
False alarm everybody!
“911? Something jest happened. No, I don’t know what it was or if anything or anyone was hurt or damaged and if so, where or how… You’re welcome!”
Obama was probably building a zeppelin mounted teleprompter for outdoor events but made the classic mistake of filling it with hydrogen.
Ol’ man Cheney up to one of creepy ‘experiments’ again….
Someone please tell me if this is the Rapture. I live in Portland, Oregon, so its not like anyone here would actually go missing.
HomoPolitico: No, you’d all be reading subversive literature and eating pizza by Powells.
Meghan McCain fucked a liberal.
Couldn’t hurt to round up a few PUMAs and question them.
Mothra? Gamera?
Must have been the Ron Paul blimp.
Not a peep from the MSM. Another Wonkette scoop!
gurukalehuru: Nothing on http://www.coasttocoastam.com this morning. Wonkette is now the go-to blog for mysterious lights, the mkele-mbembe, and anomalous contrails.
And no reports coming out of Grover’s Mills, NJ. Strange. That’s the first place I would look if I thought there was trouble brewing.
gurukalehuru: You win. Unfortunately, Paultards, Pumas and the faculty of Liberty University are all still here.
April fools is Wednseday, yo.
Yeah, not Modnay or Tuseday.
God’s pissed that his warranty on his F150 is worth nothing after today.
bago: Naw. Rocco’s on E Burnside (the one near Powell’s) is really third-tier pizza in P-town. Your first choice is Hot Lips.
I guess if you really wanted to generate interest in a film back in the early sixties you had to let your audiance know that your movie featured ‘tectonic implosions’. Filmgoers back then would have flocked to see German aliens compressing things.
Speaking of freaky happenings in the spirit world…
Drove past the Fairfax campus of George Mason U this morning and saw a gaggle of the Fred Phelps people with signs like GOD HATES FAGS and GOD HATES YOU and BITCH BURGER. I don’t know what Bitch Burger means but I’d kind of like to try one (even though I’m a vegetarian)
Maybe it was just God taking a Jesse Helms & wiping his Jerry Falwell.
“It’s just another bloody portent.”
ForTheTurnstiles: I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a bitch burger today.
Just Cheney returning to Earth orbit, Lizard People in tow. Someone get David Icke on the horn to sort this all out.
Cape Clod: Germans? Forget it, he’s rolling.
Bitch Burgers are Korean Hotdogs.
The republican party finally exploding into tiny chunks of limbaugh?
Clearly a ploy by the Obama administration to institute socialism.
Did you guys see the sky around 6 this morning? A dark great and red kind of sky. Spooky.
In classic form, something that constitutes real news is entirely absent from the WashPo front page. But gee, you can chat with Tucker Carlson!
Sorry guys, my bad: shouldn’t have had that second serving of beans.
Meh. Just Sarah Palin’s head exploding after hearing that McCain wouldn’t support her in 2012.
Wait, seriously? People are concerned about a predicted thunder storm?
loudmouthredhead: Not only are we going to [North Carolina], Tom Harkin, we’re going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we’re going to California and Texas and New York … And we’re going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan, and then we’re going to Washington, D.C., to take back the White House! Yeah!!!
Cape Clod: teutonic implosion? Stay away from the curry-wurst.
“One motorist who saw the lights while driving east of the Staples Mill Road exit of Interstate 64 described it as similar to “what falls away from big fireworks” but “much bigger” and “from much higher up.“
Shoot. Hoping for Mothra. Only got a meteor.
Did they seat Franken? Is it Cornyr’s nuclear armageddon on america?
Looks like Johnny’s gettin’ laid!
I thought Michele Bachmann said her revolution would be orderly.
This is all part of the master plan of the TelEPromPtErZ -
i saw the lights last night in queens last night around 9-9:30. it flashed like lightning but didn’t really hear any thunder. thought that was odd, but not that it was aliens.
but now i do. ALL HAIL TEH ALIENS!
We had an equally mysterious event happen in our area yesterday.
All of the sudden, it got very dark and then liquid started falling from the sky! Yes, liquid.
It didn’t come down in a great stream like you would see in a waterfall, but instead in small little parts that I guess you would call “drops”. I believe the liquid may have been “water”, but didn’t have testing equipment handy so can’t be 100% sure. After about an hour, the liquid stopped falling from the sky, just as suddenly as it started.
I have to be honest; the whole thing just freaked me out. Now I realize I should have called 911.
Madonna finally realized she’s fifty?
“The bright light at first terrified me because I thought somebody was shining a light on me, and then I saw it, and I was in complete awe because it was so beautiful,” she said.
Then she saw something that looked like a comet moving low toward the ground; it was blue in front followed by orange and appeared to be the shape and size of a refrigerator.
“It was just so low. It was like where a bird should be,” she said. “It was definitely heading downward.”
She was on the phone with a friend a minute later when she heard an explosion.
Kenneth Martin of Chesapeake’s South Norfolk neighborhood said he saw what appeared to be lightning, then the sky turned blue.
Then, he said, a white ball of fire shot close to the ground and appeared to burn out. He said he’s sure it was a meteor.
“It was so vivid in the sky, blinking,” he said. “It was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.”
http://hamptonroads.com/2009/03/loud-explosions-lights-sky-reported-maryland-nc
holy fuck
The National Weather Service released this statement at 11:17pm Sunday:
“Numerous reports have been called in to this office and into local law enforcement concerning what appeared to be flashes of light in the sky over the Suffolk/Virginia Beach area. We are confident in saying that this was not lightning…and have been in contact with military and other government agencies to determine the cause. So far…we have not seen or heard of any damage from this and will continue to inquire as to the cause.”
hOly fucking shit
These Floyd tribute bands really go all out these days.
Gorillionaire: WIN.
Also: this is not the first time I’ve had to mourn the fact that X-Files went straight to hell. Normally in this situation I’d demand Scully, but… meh.
Satellite collision debris. End of story.
Possibly from the collision of an Iridium sat phone satellite with a Russian Cosmos orbiter.
That accident happened in early Feb. Polar orbit means the debris might come down on a N-S axis along the E. Coast.
One source for sat tracking info is http://www.heavens-above.com.
There’s so much stuff floating around up there no one has a firm handle on when/where debris is falling.
April fools came early this year?
Maybe this is one too.. UK program designed to identify child terrorists. http://www.governmentalityblog.com/my_weblog/2009/03/child-terrorists-uks-channel-project.html
Texan Bulldoggette: WIN - but only because I hadn’t thought of those two yahoos in quite some time. Ahhhh….
Cool. Sounds like a meteorite breaking up. Here are some videos of the Peekskill meteorite, which got videotaped by a bunch of people before it plowed into (seriously) some guy’s parked car.
http://aquarid.physics.uwo.ca/~pbrown/Videos/peekskill.htm
This is why you shouldn’t hang glide after a dinner of hobo beans.
bago: Rocco’s? Pizza only a mother could love.
sanantonerose: Mega-
dildosdittos! Also.Well, there WAS a huge-ass line of thunderstorms over the east coast last night around 9pm - I had to fly right through them to get home.
But, but…
We know now that in the early years of the twentieth century, this world was being watched closely by intelligences greater than man’s - and yet as mortal as his own. We know now that as human beings busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacence people, went to and fro over the earth about their little affairs, serene in the assurance of their dominion over this small spinning fragment of solar driftwood which by chance or design man has inherited out of the dark mystery of Time and Space.
Yet, across an immense ethereal gulf, minds that to our minds as ours are to the beasts in the jungle, intellects vast, cool and unsympathetic, regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us.
In the ninth year of the twenty-first century came the Great Disillusionment. It was near the end of March. Business was better. The war scare was over. More men were back at work. Sales were picking up. On this particular evening, March 29, the TruckNutz service estimated that thirty-two million people were listening in on radios..
It was most likely a bolide, which is an exceptionally bright meteorite. Many meteors are low-density carnbonaceous chondrites, with high water and organic material content, causing them to swell up and expand rapidly when they heat up during entry. Kind of like Rush Limbaugh (see how I turned that around at the the end there?)
President Beeblebrox: American Enterprise Institute?
S.Luggo: I don’t know. Has anyone checked what was going on in Grover’s Mill, NJ last night? And were Ramon Raquello and His Orchestra playing at the Park Plaza Hotel in Manhattan? Anyone see Professor Pierson of Princeton University around the area?
Human-Animal Hybrid: It could also have been that rare atmospheric condition known as “Light-Ning”, which history tells us appears from time to time, usually associated with a loud sound which the ancients named “Thun Der.”
SayItWithWookies: I’ve checked around and us Lutherans are still here, but then we are taught that the Book of Revelations is symbolic — so maybe Jeebus* “symbolically” forgot to take us up, up and away.
*Jeebus = the “hate your neighbor” god of the Fawell/Dobson/Megachurch types as opposed to the “love your neighbor” Jesus that most good Lutherans follow.
I for one, would like to take this opportunity to welcome our new Insect Overlords…
Ball lightning. seen it myse’f in 19 n 69, loud as a freekkin bomb, slow and low. tend ta follow ‘lectric lines. smells like an electrical fire ‘ater it passes. jus like a good bar’cue pork samich. scare the crap outaya and also too.
Michelle Bachmann shit herself obvs…
Leopolt: Wonder if there’s anything left of it. People pay good money for those chunks of rock. Not that I’m trying to start a Wonkette gold rush. (Yes I am.)
All together now, “Armageddon getcha in a taxi, honey.”
Probably God passing judgment on Pat Robertson’s Regent University in Virginia Beach allowing a Democratic student group to form on campus.
MathewBrooks: Right after her head exploded all over the Eastern Seaboard, clearly!
First Alaska, now Virginia. Are you getting worried Bobby Jindal? They’re coming!
Atlas Spanked: You were closest to the win: http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20090330/sc_space/mysteriouseastcoastboomwasfallingrussianrocket
More eyewitnesses reports here: http://www.socyberty.com/Paranormal/Virginia-Beach-Unexplained-Lights-and-Explosion.621647
Wonder where SUPERMAN is right about now? :>)
In response to Obama finding his birth certificate….wonder why anyone should care…No one IS actually a TRUE RIGHTFUL ABORIGINAL NATIVE of this country anyway!!!!
Now that should cause major concern for SOME INDIVIDUALS!!!!
I would hope whatever OR whoever is up there doesn’t have the potential to start behaving like the people on earth or this planet truly is DOOMED!!!!
At last! Marvin’s illudium q-36 explosive space modulator went off!