debate prep

Not All McCain Staffers Are Godless Heathens

But most of them are!At this point everybody knows about how Sarah Palin griped at some GOP dinner last week about how there was nobody to pray with before the vice presidential debate besides her speech coach/daughter, Piper. And Jesus. Naturally, McCain aides who suffered by her side for months, TWO WHOLE MONTHS, are furious at the suggestion that they weren’t into all that religious bullshit.

“It’s yet another example of the few staff still loyal to Palin questioning their loyalty and ardent defense of her over the several months since the campaign,” said the aide, who was granted anonymity to speak candidly about campaign colleagues.

Since election day, Palin has publicly griped about the way she was handled by the McCain team and pushed back against some of the campaign advisers who attacked her anonymously in the press.

But another former staffer said that in doing so, Palin is failing to distinguish between the strategists at McCain headquarters and the people who were at her side every day from late August through election day.

“It’s about us people who were on the plane, who showed extreme loyalty to Palin, continually getting thrown under the bus or slapped in the face by her comments, whether she means it or not,” the staffer said, adding that Palin’s remarks “cause you to question not only your loyalty but her judgment as a leader.”

Five months after the end of the most comically horrifying Republican presidential campaigns in modern history, McCain/Palin staffers are still figuring out that Sarah Palin was kind of awful. Also, Levi Johnston should thank his stars that Governor Palin is not his mother-in-law, because if she is that passive-agressive with her friends, just imagine how insufferable she’d be with the guy who’s fucking her daughter.

Palin’s prayer remark angers former staffers [CNN]

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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

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103 comments

  1. Serolf Divad

    I knew it!!! I knew there had to be some explanation for John McCain’s loss to the Communist heathen Obama. Now I know. I mean, we’ve seen this time and time again, haven’t we brothers and sisters in buttsecs Christ? You stray from God and God will punish you for your lack of faith.

    If only John McCain had true Christians running the campaign, we might not be living in a European style Socialist pit of Hell!!!!

  2. 4tehlulz

    [re=274872]Serolf Divad[/re]: If WALNUTS had true Christians running the campaign, Sarah Palin would not have been the VP pick.

  3. SuperRounder

    [re=274873]ph7[/re]: If Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin get close enough to touch each other, the whole world will end. Didn’t you see Southland Tales?

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Silly Walnuts staffers. It’s so cute they forget that Palin throws everyone who helps her under the bus.

  5. ManchuCandidate

    [re=274878]SuperRounder[/re]:
    I thought that putting those two in the same room would lead to Fundie lesbian sex, but I guess it was the wrong week to stop watching pr0n.

  6. Canuckledragger

    I won’t know what to think about this until I hear from our new conservative concern troll, BillO’sOdors.

    Or from Daddy Yankee.

    You know, the Republican brain trust.

  7. cheeto_jeebus

    I think the only fair way to settle this is a good ol’ rastlin’ match in my muddy yard for example and also, too.

  8. WadISay

    I for one am glad she didn’t pray, or there might not have been any starbursting in my living room.

  9. Rodney Badger

    I just can’t wait for the Republican Primary to get going. It’s going to be so fucking epic.

  10. shanemacgowan

    The McCain staffers did not want to hold hands with her just in case their prayers were answered and she spontaneously combusted.

  11. sarcasticusername

    the staffer said, adding that Palin’s remarks “cause you to question not only your loyalty but her judgment as a leader.”
    THIS is what makes you question her judgment as a leader?!? nothing else, just THIS!. oh do the world a favor and go walk into oncoming traffic.

  12. Bowdoin

    I detect a godly sense of humor. Every single one of his almighty choices, Robertson and Falldownwell and Oral and Dohbya, have failed miserably. Robertson was ordered by gawd to run for president, only the big guy forgot to ask anybody to vote for him. They never learn. They are playing Of Mice and Men for comedy; they have to guide and inform Lenny at every turn less he screws up. Now, Lenny, we have an election here, and I want you to put down that mouse, put it down, and take up our base … easy now, that’s it…

    Gawd has to be told that this nitwit is one of his followers and needs help in the worst way.

  13. spymoose

    I think I’m going to get an early start on my weekend drinking since I have nobody to pray with this morning.

  14. Zadig

    [re=274872]Serolf Divad[/re]: This means that all we have to do to ensure Democratic victory is plant some heathens (agnostics, probably) in the Republican campaign staff. I have to go to Tim Kaine with this, the 50-state strategy has nothing on the potency of this revelation.

  15. arclight

    Yeah, Go Sarah! Fight The Good Fight And Tell ‘Em How It’s Done! I can’t wait for you to get the nomination in 2012, win the entire election, and then bring on Armegeddon! Yay Rapture!

  16. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Well, now here’s a NO SHIT line if I’ve ever seen one:

    “The people that she has, either working at her PAC or advisers in Alaska, aren’t exactly making the best decisions for her,” the staffer said.”

    Maybe the best decision would be to hand SP a gun and tell her to aim it at her face.

  17. zippy123

    This is like that picture of a vase that might also be a picture of two people looking at each other in profile…the content depends on what you focus on. I, for one, don’t believe she’s saying that there weren’t enough religious nutties on the campaign bus; she’s saying all their hands were icky-dirty and she didn’t want to touch them. Our Sarah might be a clean freak. Pretty sure a trip to Costco and a big ol’ box of Purell would have fixed this problem. Also.

  18. Come here a minute

    Must be hard for the McCain people to decide whether to hop on the Palin Crazy Train, since it appears to be the only train in the Republican station.

  19. JadedDIssonance

    From her ‘speech’:

    “Some in the media actually participated in not so much the ‘who-what-where-when-why’ objective reporting on candidates and positions, those five W’s that I learned when I had a journalism degree so many years ago in college, when the world of journalism was quite different than it is today,”

    And still just a collection of dangling participles. Something tells me her speech coach was praying with her just to score some “Don’t Fire Me” points.

  20. Mr Blifil

    None of this would have happened if she had simply taught her daughter to restrict her sexytime activities to her pooper. She might have been much more relaxed before the speech if she wasn’t obsessively repeating in her mind “MY FAMILY’S FILTHY DISGUSTING SECRET IS GOING TO BE FOUND OUT ZOMG!!!”

  21. Mr Blifil

    [re=274925]ph7[/re]: Emend that to “while Trig watches” and you have a closer reflection of reality.

  22. ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=274923]Mr Blifil[/re]: If she wants Levi Johnston back, Bristol may well need to play the “diamondbacking” card. With her butt.

    The sex couldn’t be that great though. Bristol would need to be a five-diamond fundo to put up with the Momz, if you follow me.

  23. Man Without Qualities

    Hearing the phrase “throwing X under the bus,” after so long an absence, brings back fond memories of simpler times. It has been said before, but: we may have won the election, but, really, we lost an untold wealth of McCain/Palin jokes. And we’re impoverished enough already.

  24. IceCreamEmpress

    I’ve been praying by myself ever since I started crossing the street by myself and tying my own shoes. It’s not something with which adults generally need assistance.

  25. Gorillionaire

    Hey Palin you know who didn’t have any hand to hold on to and pray with for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS ALSO?!?!?!!!111!

  26. Mustang

    What’s Sarah praying for? That her devil horns won’t grow any bigger so she’ll have to start wearing a cap? That she may acquire some babies to sacrifice and drink their blood? That it will start raining toads? What?

  27. shortsshortsshorts

    The good Lord calls man to draft Palin. It is also the good Lord who hates John McCain. What will come of this? Only wingnut pundits know the answer.

  28. bago

    [re=274948]bunnyhead[/re]: We need a domain stat! Who knows what epic titillations might occur in the mean-time.

  29. zenferret

    So like this is the place that GoogleAds put the ad for SarahPac?

    Yay GoogleAds! Irony is not dead yet.

  30. Custerwolf

    Is it just a coincidence that this article with her picture sits next to the ad with the slogan “A mind is a terrible thing to waste”?

  31. KilgoreTrout_XL

    That last line is a keeper, Sara.

    I think Kirk Cameron should try to tag/nearly-marry Bristol next.

  32. Custerwolf

    Okay – one more:
    God was trying to tell you something Sarah-
    YOU DON’T HAVE A PRAYER.

    Some people just don’t get it.

  33. CampbellBrown'

    The 2012 GOP primary is gonna rule. It’ll be a race to show who can sound more like the average caller to to Mark Levine show, which will be good enough to win say Idaho and Alabama in the general election. John Huntsman should stay in Utah and enjoy all those new bars he just legalized.

  34. Violenza

    With so much uncertainty in this modern world, I take great comfort in the fact that Sarah Palin turned out to be exactly how I thought she would be. I love this.

  35. JadedDIssonance

    [re=274978]Custerwolf[/re]: Oh Good. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to call PETA. They’re pissed enough at the “Aerial Huntress – Mistress Of The Skies” as it is.

  36. Miller

    Surely Sarah has gotta have love for some of the staffers. The ones that let her buy clothes for her husband on the RNC card, the ones that let her steal the deli platter out of the pre-debate green room, the one that didn’t openly sigh and get pained looks of despair on their faces every time she opened her mouth? No?

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  37. lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=274911]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Palin can’t commit suicide, because she hasn’t figured out how to hunt herself from a helicopter.

  38. Custerwolf

    [re=275009]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Haven’t you heard? She’s now pushing to allow Alaska Fish and Game to go underground in order to gas the pups. It used to be done here in the lower 48 until we evolved frontal lobes and a conscience. Too many Barbies and not enough Bambis in the north woods, so they’re looking to curb the competition.

  39. chascates

    TheMudflats.net is reporting Palin skipped out on a promised ‘in-person’ meeting to discuss her reported rejection of 1/3 of the stimulus money which she later backtracked on. Instead her aide announced she couldn’t make the meeting but would send staff. The Alaska legislators declined because the Governor has made it clear in the past only she can make decisions.

    Then things started to get interesting. The Governor’s office released an official press release which began:

    March 26, 2009, Anchorage, Alaska – Governor Sarah Palin was scheduled to participate telephonically in a meeting with legislative leadership today when legislative leaders cancelled the meeting to host their own press conference.

    Senate Majority Leader Johnny Ellis (D): “I think the governor and her staff thought we were getting together to criticize her for not being in Juneau She put out a preemptive press release saying she would have met with them telephonically. She tried to get the upper hand. The telephonic availability was all news to us! It didnt’ help legislative relations.”

    This show could run for years on TV. Dallas and Dynasty were boring compared to the Snow Queen’s antics.

  40. DustBowlBlues

    [re=274879]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Exactly. Like the party bosses in AK that she flirted up until she was elected, then filed corruption charges against. It’s been her pattern. She is a toxic woman, and for more than just the dangerous rate at which she produces children the overpopulated world doesn’t need.

  41. DustBowlBlues

    [re=274902]Rush[/re]: My laughter just gets louder the more of this thread’s comments I read. Which is nice, since I’m about to go out in the freezing, wet weather and try to wrap and tie chunks of row crop cover over my baby fruits before the snow hits. If it works, I’ll send wonkette a fruit basket–and patent my technique.

    Or I’ll die from a giant piece of hail bonking me on the head, but at least I’ll die laughing. I guess I can pray with my dogs.

  42. DustBowlBlues

    [re=274905]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Like the Hypocrites, she totally ignore the admonition in Matthew 6:6

    To paraphrase and add my own panache, When you pray, don’t be like the Hypocrites and do it in public to show off/annoy people, go into your fucking closet and shut the door.

    As I said, I paraphrased. Even the Godless Revised New Standard Vesion doesn’t quite put it that way.

  43. saggyboobedhag

    Maybe they just couldn’t choose between praying to the little tiny baby Jesus versus the grown-up sexy bearded Jesus.

  44. mercure

    Quoting from CNN’s quote from her speech (they put it in quotes, so I assume it’s verbatim):

    “”And there was that media slant this go round,” she said. “And unless things change, the GOP had really better can stand together, ’cause we got that on the battlefield also. I call it like I see it and like I lived it on the campaign trail. Not complaining, but dealing with reality.”

    “Those are the cards that are dealt us,” she said, “and we had better learn to play that hand and do things right and do things better.”

    No snark that I could generate could possibly do this justice…

  45. wildeoats

    [re=275122]mercure[/re]: Exactly. When asked what periodicals and newspapers she read to keep up with current events, she said, “The Economist, The Wall Street Journal and Children’s Highlights.” But somehow, on camera, the media slant twisted that into “all of ‘em.”

  46. hobospacejungle

    This woman will say anything to stay in the news. But she does not appear to know how to coordinate a proper pre-presidential campaign. You’re supposed to make more friends, not fewer. Newt is going to wipe the floor with her flabby ass and then how much fun are the primaries going to be? Somebody get Mark Penn on this woman, stat!

  47. Zorg

    [re=274922]JadedDIssonance[/re]: I love this quote. Notice she is saying “those five W’s that I learned when I had a journalism degree so many years ago in college, when the world of journalism was quite different than it is today…” She had the degree when she was in college, but has since lost it. Maybe it fell off of the back of her ATV while she was pursuing a marauding moose. Maybe Bristol used it to roll up some Matanuska Motherfuck buds while she was at a high school senior’s orgy with Levi. Maybe the college asked for it back because she obviously didn’t pass the English language component of her degree program. Whatever happened to it, it’s gone now.

  48. populucious

    They were probably all so busy praying about her, they got startled when asked to pray with her.

  49. iolanthe

    [re=275229]populucious[/re]: Read the article. She didn’t even ask them.

    Didn’t even get around to asking them.

    In her estimation, none of them were worthy even to be *asked*. That’s twice as annoying, twice as Pure Sarah, as your (understandable, if you only read the headline and not the text of the original article) assumption.

    I know I’m in danger of Overearnestness, but the “group prayer where we all hold hands and pray out loud and attempt to outdo each other in our obvious amazing spirituality” was one of the things I found most completely obnoxious during my 8-year ill-starred affair with Fundamentalism (same denomination as Sarah, actually … ).

    Later, thumbing through the Bible on my own, I found out why. Jesus himself was squicked by this shit:

    From Matthew 6:5-6, NIV:

    “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

    But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

  50. iolanthe

    [re=275078]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Sorry! Didn’t see that you’d covered this already.

    It’s amazing, reading the comments from Sarah fans (damned few, BTW). For such amazing Righteous Christians they know shockingly little actual Bible.

  51. Fivetree

    [re=274918]The Cold Sea[/re]: Michele Bachmann is the intellectual equivalent of Australopiticus housed in the body of a Stepford Wife.

  52. TGY

    [re=274872]Serolf Divad[/re]: No, it’s Darth Vader who punishes people for their lack of faith. God smites you with lightning bolts whether you’re faithful or not (hence Job). Darth Vader is more loyal than God.

    Sarah Palin, English Fishwife. Just under four more years to completely ruin her chances for president!

  53. Jukesgrrl

    [re=274913]zippy123[/re]: Can’t go to Costco, it’s a Communist conspiracy (that’s why it has “co” in it twice. Must go to Sam’s Club, as in Uncle Sam.

  54. Euphoropia

    It’s always been amazing to me that no one remembers this
    Matthew 6:5-15

    ”And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

  55. iolanthe

    [re=275387]Euphoropia[/re]: You’re the third to mention Matthew 6.

    Isn’t it odd how these Biblical Literalists only like to take the *Old* Testament literally? And then, only the *mean* parts.

    I mean, where’s our every-half-century Jubilee, where all debts are forgiven? How about all the stuff against usury?

  56. L Urchin

    [re=275400]JDHART[/re]: Naw. It’s like a cat playing with its dinner. So much fun to see her lurching for every possible advantage, and then still get eaten.

  57. annie78

    Are you railing against Governor Palin or God? Remember freedom of religion? In a harsh political environment, some are not comfortable praying in public. This is a non-issue, as usual. You’re fine examples of what your party has to offer. Pre-pubescent, snickering sexual innuendo should be done by the time you’re out of jr. high? Unless you don’t have anything of value to say. Had the Governor been allowed to run on her own terms, we wouldn’t be hearing this kind of inane, malicious gossip from those suffering from buyers’ remorse. Maybe you should be just a little bit afraid, considering the language and content of your rants. As He says, “Don’t make me come down there…”

  58. annie78

    Little boy, do your parents know you are playing on the computer? Instead of looking for attention by acting foolish, go read a book. Start with biographies, perhaps Thomas Jefferson, Washington..or if you are a girl…maybe Abigail Adams. You will learn so much, and become an adult others will respect. I know you can do it.

  59. Custerwolf

    [re=275663]annie78[/re]: I have a better idea, Annie. How ’bout I sit on your face. Please get back to me with your answer….

  60. hobospacejungle

    Annie, you can sit on my face, too. Unless you look like K-Lo, then the deal’s off. But don’t let our childish antics put you off. Unfortunately you’ve joined us late on a Friday. Please come back Monday and scold us more. You’ll enjoy the repartee.

  61. foog

    [re=275539]annie78[/re]: Annie, I’m not entirely sure what you are getting at here. It seems that you are more kindly disposed toward Governor Palin than most people here. Yet you mention that “some are not comfortable praying in public”. Does this mean that you are expressing displeasure with Ms. Palin’s public airing of campaign staffers’ religious habits or lack thereof? It is, I agree, in poor taste for her to bring it up.

    You also state that “[h]ad the Governor been allowed to run on her own terms, we wouldn’t be hearing this kind of inane, malicious gossip”. Again, I am confused. Wasn’t it Ms. Palin herself who was the source of this malicious gossip about her staffers? Or am I missing something here?

    Oh, and please sit on my face as well. Also.

  62. annie78

    It’s obvious that you don’t get it. And yes, you’re missing something. Your leap of logic from “in a harsh politcal environment some people are uncomfortable praying in public.” to a poor attempt at covering for a dishonorable McCain aide (who was a former associate of Katie Couric..go figure)falls flat. I agree you are confused. Governor Palin was not the source of malicious gossip. *Refer again to above campaign aide. Tell me, how does one interpret a remark that she could not find someone with whom to pray…as “a public airing of campaign staffers’ religious habits?” Do you feel comfortable standing and bowing your head in prayer in a public place? Some do, others do not. It’s a statement of fact, not a judgement.
    Speaking of poor taste…. I think you’re right about most people here.

  63. Custerwolf

    And speaking of missing the point. Palin is a voo-doo priestess megalomaniac passive-aggressive narcissistic eternal prom queen (whose taped audio was secretly piped into the cells at gitmo in order to torture the prisoners). I don’t cotton to superstitious nutcases of any kind (I’m making an exception of course by responding to your post). The fact that you can put sentences together in a coherent fashion (unlike your hairdo priestess) and use spell-check does not make you any less stupid of a human being. No doubt my 3-legged Bloodhound could run laps around you.

  64. becpt

    Mmmmmm, would these be the same anonymous staffers who had her back when all those lies were being told about her after the election. No wonder she didn’t feel like she could pray with them. She knew they were back-stabbers.

  65. Custerwolf

    [re=275788]becpt[/re]: Honestly Sarah – first you go by Annie78, and now becpt. No one here will ever like you or your prayeree homo companions, so please quit embarrassing yourself by trying to win our affections. The only time I expect to see you on your knees is when I’m in front of you with my pants around my ankles. Now get outta here you knucklehead.

  66. 102415

    Backstabbers? Takes one to know one. Which lies though?
    I refuse to allow either Annie or you to sit anywhere near my face as my immune system cannot take the abuse. I will though, go to Neiman Marcus with any of you any time next week when I’m feeling better. God wants me to have a Chanel Spring coat for Easter. Call me telephonically and send me over two or three cookies too. I know a poor Alaskan family that is short on groceries up in the villages. Also.I’m praying for you to get over your trollishness everyday.You don’t want us over at TeamSarah do you?

  67. bago

    Man, you realize that if I ever hear “You Betcha” during sex I am going to leave the room. Right? Yanno? Also.

  68. Custerwolf

    [re=275882]annie78[/re]: Annie, that’s rather self-effacing of you to say your post has nothing of value, but we would have told you that anyway. Oh, and next time you pass by – please do.

  69. Custerwolf

    You gotta love people who say they’re leaving the blog as if it weren’t self-evident by the absence of their retarded posts.
    Oh Annie, we hardly knew ye.

  70. loupgarou

    Folks, don’t be so rough on Annie. What’s the point in being religious if you’re not going to preen in your righteousness and threaten people with hell? It’s like going to a bar and ordering a glass of water,

  71. bago

    It’s like going out in public and not slaughtering a chicken and inspecting the dropped entrails!

  72. foog

    [re=275761]annie78[/re]: “Tell me, how does one interpret a remark that she could not find someone with whom to pray…as “a public airing of campaign staffers’ religious habits?” Do you feel comfortable standing and bowing your head in prayer in a public place? Some do, others do not. It’s a statement of fact, not a judgement.”

    Why sure it is, Annie. Just as “I have never in my life heard you deny that you want to sit on my face” is another statement of fact. And I suppose that when the lovely and talented Ms. Palin pointed out that none of the heathen scum working for her would so much as bow their heads in prayer, she wasn’t implying anything. She was just stating facts. Hey Annie, have you stopped blowing hobos for crack? (I don’t mean anything by expressing the question, I am simply interested in facts. And a simple yes or no answer will suffice, thankyewverymuch.)

    Oh, and Annie? What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and a pit bull? One’s a vicious snarling bitch that will turn on her handlers the second she senses an opening. The other’s just a dog.

Comments are closed.