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CABAL UPDATE

OMG: JournoList Banal Insanity Revealed

I solumly pledge ...Your editor must type this quickly before your other editor (Newell!) wakes briefly from his stupor and rushes to post this himself: Mickey Kaus somehow killed enough people (this is why he never drinks at parties) to get an actual (?) e-mail chain of banal nonsense from this Leftist Kabal “JournoList” email forwarding thing. And it’s terrible. Far worse than the parody your Wonkette editors composed in two seconds, within our own Secret Chat Room. Witness!

(DANG, Ryan Tate already got this posted. Medal of Freedom for him, we suppose. But he missed the SUPER SEXY part we shall share with you here.)

The whole thing’s terrible, but we’ll just focus on this single email, which has been helpfully redacted here and there by Kaus in the most puerile, amusing fashion:

From: Alyssa R. Date: Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:06:27 -0400 Local: Tues, Mar 24 2009 3:06 pm Subject: Re: [JournoList] Re: BREAKING: Marty Peretz is a Crazy-Ass Racist I’m not about to speak to the question of who should or shouldn’t be on this list. But I agree with Jon that the tendency to lapse into name-calling, or making broad assumptions about people who aren’t on this list, seems at minimum like it’s not the best use of our time, and at worst, unworthy of this very smart, very funny community. It bothered me when folks where making totally unsubstantiated comments about [REDACTED!--mk]’s sex life, and it bothers me when folks make [REDACTED] jokes. To be clear, I’m totally open to legitimate commentary on the substance of anyone’s argument,
and people should get smacked down if they lie, if they get things wrong, etc. I think analyzing Peretz’s writing about Mexicans, or Palestinians, or whoever, is totally fair game. But saying that [REDACTED] clearly must not have a girlfriend, or speculating about who [REDACTED] gets turned down by sexually are not arguments. We wouldn’t take similar statements remotely seriously if they were made by conservatives about anyone on this list.
- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -

So, it’s just a bunch of libtard bloggers emailing each other in the lonesome night, with occasional complaints about how Marty Peretz does not care for these Mexicans, and Eric Alterman is …. well, exactly like he is in his public writings.

JournoList Revealed! Inside the Secret Liberal Media Email Cabal [Kaus Files]


11:47 PM on Thu March 26 2009
By Ken Layne
5788 Views

  1. comradepaulson says at 11:55 pm, March 26th, 2009

    I know I said I wanted in, ’cause I had great ideas about legalizing the weed (thanks for killing my buzz today, Barry!) but now, no. It’s just too lame.

  2. Mr Blifil says at 11:57 pm, March 26th, 2009

    It is at times like this that I side with Mao and wonder if it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to euthanize all four-eyed eggheads.

  3. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:01 am, March 27th, 2009

    NOOO. It is not “your editor and Newell,” it is “your editor” and then “Jim Newell.”

    Layne isn’t chasing enough awards, but don’t worry man, you’ve got a fucking Nobel coming your way. I spoke with the ILLUMINATI, and they approved of it at 3:00 p.m., moon time.

    Jim gets one too, but only because those racists have rejected the red-headed race for 50 years. The love of my life is not pleased.

  4. JimNewell says at 12:01 am, March 27th, 2009

    This is some of the best shit ever, on the Internet.

  5. hockeymom says at 12:02 am, March 27th, 2009

    So let me get this straight….
    Mocking Mexicans and Arabs=totally fine and worthy of a very funny, very smart community.
    Speculating if someone is gay=not cool and not worthy.

    Damn, there goes my Jake Gyllenhal post.

  6. MrsNateSilver says at 12:12 am, March 27th, 2009

    Between this post, the ridonkulusness of the WaPo questions and the bankruptcy of every other paper — not mention Wonkette getting the scoop on the most important stories of the day, like that Cantor/Spears fandango — I think we can safely say we are witnessing, live, the demise of the media as we know it. After this shitty 9th grade-type email, I’m really ready to call it a day.

  7. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:21 am, March 27th, 2009

    JimNewell: It is. Hopefully Malkin will refute it all. Really. Hopefully she will.

  8. SayItWithWookies says at 12:22 am, March 27th, 2009

    It’s nice to know that when a bunch of writers get together to chitchat in private they’re not limbering up their metonomy or doing iambic sprints — no they’re bitching about each other like 14-year-old girls. It gives an overgrown child a modicum of hope.

  9. jagorev says at 12:23 am, March 27th, 2009

    “Marty Peretz is a Crazy-Ass Racist” would be the most unarguably correct statement about a journalist after “Mickey Kaus Blows Goats”

  10. Colander says at 12:25 am, March 27th, 2009

    “From: Jonathan Chait
    [-snip-]I’ll concede the point that you published the critique of Eve on your blog. However, trying not to be catty here, not everybody here may read your blog on a daily basis.”

    That is the cattiest shit. Barack needs to somehow use this to save the economy.

  11. answerbird says at 12:26 am, March 27th, 2009

    WTF Ken you John Ascroft motherfucker. You ain’t going to win best blogger by redacting the good parts.

  12. Jukesgrrl says at 12:31 am, March 27th, 2009

    Is K-Lo one of them JournOlists? ‘Cause I hear she’s down on Mexicans AND gays. Especially don’t put her in the same room with any Gay Mexicans, unless they’re Catholic, in which case she might let ‘em slide.

  13. answerbird says at 12:35 am, March 27th, 2009

    Oops sorry Ken - you are not a John Ascroft motherfucker - I followed the link. What is Kaus’s problem? A real blogger doesn’t have any money so they don’t worry about being sued.

  14. Colander: If cattiness could be monetized, this list could solve the financial crisis. Anyone want to look into creating cattiness default swaps?

  15. comradepaulson says at 12:37 am, March 27th, 2009

    Well, I know something about REDACTED’s sex life and let me tell you, those comments are totally substantiated, whatever comments they are. Also, REDACTED jokes are some of the best REDACTED jokes because REDACTED is funny. So REDACTED you and REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED, too.

  16. Origami says at 12:39 am, March 27th, 2009

    Marty Peretz is a racist, this surprises people?

  17. Origami says at 12:41 am, March 27th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Did you expect anything different?

    The “not everyone reads your blog” catty burn was the best.

  18. jagorev says at 12:49 am, March 27th, 2009

    comradepaulson: Did you hear about the time when Mickey Kaus REDACTED Marty Peretz in the REDACTED with his REDACTED? It was hot.

  19. Big Liver says at 12:50 am, March 27th, 2009

    Wow, I can’t believe I thought the fun was going to be over after the election.

  20. El Pinche says at 12:53 am, March 27th, 2009

    WAKEUP PEOPEL, JOURNOLIST GROVE IS REAL, ALEX JONES HAS IT ALL ON VIDEO AT INFOPRISONWARS_ILLUMATTI_2020.COM .

  21. jagorev: I love how every redacted quote goes something like this:

    Hey, I saw Mickey Kaus at leather night at the Pink Pony with a PYT. Dude is totally, 100% a flaming [REDACTED] that likes it in the butt.

    OMGZ! WHAT IS BEHIND THAT REDACTED?

  22. Colander says at 1:07 am, March 27th, 2009

    Keram2: “When it comes to someone has insanely homophobic as Savage, I have no
    problem saying that the dude’s [REDACTED], and that this may explain some
    of his more execrable paroxysms about homosexuality. ”

    It’s like Madlibs, literally.

  23. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:18 am, March 27th, 2009

    El Pinche: THE AMERICANS DESERVE A LACK OF REDACION. AT LEAST SUM WON UNDERSTANDS THE STRUGGLE OF FREEDUMB. 2MARROW WE WILL FEATURE A DING ON SHORTSANDPANTS THAT PRAPUURLY DISPLAYS DEES SENTIMENTS OF SHAMELESS RED ACTION, MEANING COMMIES AND SHIT.

  24. tiny mexican says at 1:27 am, March 27th, 2009

    [REDACTED] is a has-been hack with the sex appeal and good looks of Gilbert Gottfried, and I’m pretty sure he gets his jollies by tirelessly and very publically scrutinizing John Edwards’s sex life. He epitomizes everything that blows about Slate and, indeed, “centrist” journalism; plus, he has yet to respond to numerous charges of goat-fucking. [REDACTED] him.

  25. Pat Pending says at 1:29 am, March 27th, 2009

    Mr Blifil: Wasn’t that Pol Pot?

  26. Pat Pending says at 1:31 am, March 27th, 2009

    tiny mexican: I happen to find Gilbert Gottfried HOTT. I orgazm every time I hear “AFLAC!!!”

    [REDACTED] on the other hand, is, like Slate, tired and tedious. Gives me a limpy.

  27. El Pinche says at 1:32 am, March 27th, 2009

    We demand transparency of your blogger elitist world!!!

  28. Oh Jesus, that was amazingly stupid and boring, and my life is inexplicably better now that I know precisely what I wasn’t missing out on.

    SayItWithWookies: This list was allegedly about networking and bouncing ideas for articles around, but apparently it’s about who was seen TOTALLY HOLDING HANDS with Joey last weekend, OHMIGAWD, and how her skirt makes her (or maybe him) look like a total skank.

  29. Ken Layne says at 1:42 am, March 27th, 2009

    Zadig: Oh just watch the Prince song, then.

  30. grevillea says at 1:46 am, March 27th, 2009

    Who knew? Ed Henry takes his [REDACTED] exactly the same way I do!

  31. Ken Layne: Done.

  32. grevillea: Verbal abuse from the Commander-in-chief?

  33. S.Luggo says at 2:05 am, March 27th, 2009

    Whoa. Shit. Rumble time. The last time something as exciting as this happened was when the 1st century Gnostics confronted the Mandaean sect about divine nature of Christ. The result was all gosh darn theological heck to pay.
    Thanks, Ken.

  34. Gallowglass says at 2:34 am, March 27th, 2009

    Holy shit. This is better than that time [REDACTED] picked up that tranny hooker and stuffed his whole fist into his/her [REDACTED]. Then the cops came and beat [REDACTED] senseless before taking him to Dick Cheney’s underground lair on [REDACTED] island. Dick and [REDACTED] went out shooting [REDACTED] for sport. They they all went to Burger King and ordered [REDACTED]

  35. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 2:45 am, March 27th, 2009

    Mickey Kaus is the match, Glen Beck is the fuse, Bill O’Reilly is the bomb

  36. SayItWithWookies says at 3:34 am, March 27th, 2009

    Gallowglass: Wait, the only thing you didn’t redact was “Dick Cheney?” That’s [REDACTED].

  37. This is the second time today I am actually beginning to understand the real purpose of Twitter. If we can get these illogical losers to consolidate their ‘thought’ into 140 characters and exclusivley use that, it will make them much easier to ignore and leave the rest of the intertubes clear for us.

  38. What, no Truck[REDACTED]?

    Also, the arguments are so heated because the stakes are so low.

  39. DustBowlBlues says at 7:59 am, March 27th, 2009

    This top secret list sounds like the wonkeratti, except not funny. I started to say neither funny and nor hammered, but the latter is probably a faulty assumption on my part. All lists descend into name calling, without a hateful overlord.

  40. willdude says at 8:14 am, March 27th, 2009

    “I think analyzing Peretz’s writing about Mexicans, or Palestinians, or whoever, is totally fair game.”

    Yeah, I get them confused too. Those Asians all look alike.

  41. Canuckledragger says at 8:17 am, March 27th, 2009

    That Mickey Kaus sure knows how to get everyone’s goat.

  42. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 8:59 am, March 27th, 2009

    “To wit– [REDACTED]”

    Yep. Pretty much my feelings about this silliness as well.

  43. The Neoskeptic says at 9:09 am, March 27th, 2009

    so how does this all fit in to the smear pipeline between the vile guttersnipes at media matters and the character assassins at MSNBC?

    did KO out David Brock on the journolist or something, cause sister, that bitch can be catty and we already knew she played catcher anyway!

  44. chascates says at 11:19 am, March 27th, 2009

    The punditocracy really is like high school.

  45. assistant/atlas says at 11:37 am, March 27th, 2009

    Someone contact the CDC. I think we may have found a source of the idiot cancer.

  46. President Beeblebrox says at 11:48 am, March 27th, 2009

    Almost as good as the [expletive deleted]s in the Watergate tapes.

  47. chascates says at 12:11 pm, March 27th, 2009

    And Jeet says:
    “TNR is a really first rate liberal
    magazine”

    Explain.

  48. Brendan M. says at 12:50 pm, March 27th, 2009

    chascates: It’s pretty simple. TNR’s reporting is unquestioningly the [REDACTED] in the business. Sure, Marty Peretz is a pretty huge mother-[REDACTED] piece of [REDACTED], and inarguably [REDACTED], but who really gives a [REDACTED] about those sub-human [REDACTED]? Can you name any better-written or more important stories than [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], or [REDACTED], written in the past decade? They were groundbreaking, and shook the political establishment to its core. And I’d put [REDACTED]’s and [REDACTED]’s writing up against Bill Shakespeare’s any day. Am I right? You’d have to be some kind of illiterate [REDACTED]-tard who spends all his time [REDACTED] off [REDACTED] in men’s rooms at truck stops not to see TNR’s greatness.

    If you couldn’t surmise, I’m being [REDACTED].

  49. delong says at 1:18 pm, March 27th, 2009

    I, by contrast, am much prettier and wittier on journolist than I am in my published writings…

    brad delong

  50. Black& says at 7:18 pm, March 27th, 2009

    everybody on journolist as well as anybody who actually finds these emails humorous needs to get out and try to stop getting turned down sexually so much. i can’t believe they talk about olbermann. they must be SO BORED.

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