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Earlier today, while no one was caring, the Republican House leadership unveiled “The Republican Road To Recovery,” which is more or less the budget plan they pretend to support, even though they know it is 100% comical and will be rejected in full by Obama, thereby reinforcing his Communist public image just in time for the GOP to lose the next elections miserably, again.

Check out all the neat charts in this plan like the one above, explaining (with pickshers) how the Republicans will use magical powers (War) to transform a possibly black homeless welfare bum into a cleaned-up white professional in the thriving sector of residential real estate development. Other innovative ideas include lowering the top income tax rate by 10% from current Bush levels, yelling at Jimmy Carter for trying to give houses to the blacks in 1977 and thereby causing the current depression, and this sentence: “Republicans believe the best antidote for market turmoil is certainty and economic growth.”

Just kind of a weird packet. E-mail it back to Cantor’s office or something.

The Republican “Alternative” “Budget” [Matt Yglesias]
Behold, Charts! [Washington Independent]

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  • comradepaulson

    I asked and you provided. Thank you, Wonkette!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    BREAKING NEWS:
    This is actually how the GOP budget plays out:

    10% for keep clothes on Sarah Palin.
    15% for Bachmann’s psychiatric help fund.
    5% for Ron Paul’s District.
    10% for sexual abuse defense fund.
    20% for WAR, EVERYWHERE. GOTTA HAVE A WAR.
    10% for Cheney’s earth-acclimation device.
    25% for “Infrastructure Projects,” 60% of which will go to Blackwater, 40% of which will simply vanish, without a trace, forever.

  • comradepaulson

    This budget is completely brilliant performance art. Sorta like Dada, but with a Yoko Ono screech at the very end.

  • ThePerfesser

    The really cool thing about this Republican response to the Obama budget is that there are no numbers. Not a single chart with numbers. Brilliant.

    Sort of like astronomy without the stars. Or swimming without water. Or buttsecks without santorum.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=274530]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: DAMN! Should read “10 to keep clothes on snow-billy shit-stain.”

  • JesseJB

    The Republicant Road to Recovery:

    1. Lower Taxes
    2. ???????????
    3. Profit!

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274532]ThePerfesser[/re]: Numbers in the budget are pre-9/11 thinking.

  • chascates

    1/3 of the pie goes to tax cuts, 1/3 of the pie goes to defense spending, 1/3 of the pie goes to oil exploration, 1/3 of the pie goes to faith-based science, and the final 1/3 of the pie goes to pro-life education.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    I think their budget is more tax cuts for the rich & all black/brown people are bad.

  • Colander

    One of my friends threw some crap at me about small businesses (which I assume means liquor stores) and so now I know it’s a talking point, and will be better prepared.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wow — they want to lower taxes for the middle class, provide universal health care, create jobs, cut spending, control the federal deficit, and reform the financial system. It’s just such a tragedy that they never had the opportunity to enact this brilliant plan in the recent past.

  • cal

    Is that passed-out bum really in the chart? Or is Jimmy N. playing with us?

    That’s not how you win awards, Jim!

  • randomsausage

    You skipped the Bachmann addendum: invade China and enslave the productive little devils before they take the US dollarz aways.

  • assistant/atlas

    [re=274538]comradepaulson[/re]: Numbers in the budget are thinking.

    /fixed

  • bago

    Well, they’re keeping the comedians employed.

  • monthlykos

    “Of course I’ve looked at all the numbers very carefully Katie, but the American people want me to speak to them directly, without using all this washington budgetspeak including confusing charts that you want me to talk about so that I can’t talk directly to the american people about what they want me to talk about which is growth, with less government intrusion into. Also.”

  • Uncle Glenny

    Someone else look at that road-to-recovery-final document (a pdf) and tell me the graph on page 16, on deficits, is real.

    The deficit under Bush drops monotonically and hits 0 in 2008? Huh?

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274546]cal[/re]: Oh yes, yes, it is. Page 10, lower corner. I advise that every wonky wonkette download this shit, just for it’s amazingly weird graphic design. Circles connected to a bar that says “Republican Road to Recovery.” These GOPers, they’ve mastered Power Point!

  • Bearbloke
  • Uncle Glenny

    Fuck, I can’t read this, I don’t have enough medz.

  • Uncle Glenny

    And it’s made worse because Newty is staring at me. I’d prefer Big Campbell Brown.

    (Although I’d really prefer Naked Mario Lopez.)

  • Bearbloke

    [re=274554]Uncle Glenny[/re]:Monotonicals are the favorite drink of mysteriously-orange Sen. Boehner – cheap bourbon straight down the gullet!

  • Come here a minute

    Our boyfriend Nate Silver has his funny take on this too, at his five thirty something thingy.

  • billorders84

    I’m not sure how Wonkette can say that the GOP is doomed to lose the next round of elections. Checking the polls- the GOP currently leads in the 2009 gubernatorial elections of NJ and VA, as well as the election to replace the vacated House seat of NY’s new senator. If in two years the stimulus hasn’t put our economy back on track the GOP will win numerous elections simply as protest votes against the Democratic party–for not fixing the economy.

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • stolichnayaaa

    I love the idea of Boehner in his office, with his staff, paging through this, fresh from the graphic designer that someone hired from craigslist and smelling like fresh printer’s ink, and realizing that they’ve already called the press and they have to have something to wave at them.

    There is a moment, just a moment of silence, while everyone considers the repercussions of the press, you know, actually getting their hands on this, this… thing.

    Because here where they are safe, they know. They *know* this is a piece of shit. But nobody wants to say it. Eyes avoid eyes. Faintly in the background a siren dopplers by. Someone clears his throat. You can hear heels clacking against the marble in the hallway.

    And Boehner takes a deep breath, straightens his cuffs, and says “Fuck it”.

    That’s leadership, people.

  • erectiledisfunction

    Goddamn … my freaking head hurts again. What causes this pain? Oh yeah … the GOP.

  • TeddyS

    The Party of No has no leader, no ideas and no plan. Instead of perusing their Road to Recovery for Dummies, I’m going to spend the evening reading porn on the Internet and chatting with Senator Vitter.

  • Canuck13652

    [re=274565]billorders84[/re]: So, great: The Republicans spend 8 years fucking everything up, and then when Barry can’t miraculously make everything perfect in 1/4 the time, the Republicans get back in? Sounds perfect–8 years fucking the country, 2 years off, 8 more years fucking it more, 2 years off . . . fun ride back to the stone age!

  • threeb

    “…Ian Dobbin, a patient in Yorkshire, England, who faced a similar dilemma because a government
    bureaucrat refused to approve his life-saving cancer treatment…”

    I guess Republicans don’t realize that managed care companies routinely refuse to approve physician-prescribed treatments. That’s how they maximize profits in the “free market.”

  • FrJack

    Oh, man. What someone said about Frau Bachmann (“did you hear that?”) goes for the whole sorry lot of Republicans: if they didn’t exist we’d have to invent them for our amusement. Just saw this pic at another site. Sums up the current Republican situation beautifully:

  • FrJack

    [re=274573]FrJack[/re]: here’s the location for the png since tags don’t work here:

    http://tpm.s3.amazonaws.com/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-101902-100×100.png

  • Uncle Glenny

    [re=274564]Come here a minute[/re]: Yes, Wonketeers should definitely read Nate’s take:

    http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2009/03/real-republican-road-to-recovery.html

  • Uncle Glenny

    [re=274568]erectiledisfunction[/re]: Think Foley has naked pictures of Aaron Schrock?

  • billorders84

    [re=274571]Canuck13652[/re]: Democrats enjoyed a Congressional majority for the past two of those eight years. Now, with a majority and a president, the party can pass whatever it wants. Stunningly, the Democratic party fails to do so. Sure, not every Democratic politician agrees with the entire party platform, but seriously: if they can’t get their agenda through now, then it will never happen.

  • mousie

    Groovy graphics! I’m printing out the neat-o budget and using it for wrapping paper.

  • phineas_bounderby

    God help me, I read the whole thing. It’s the sort of document which would have been produced if you’d taken the top ten percentage (in terms of overall ability to not seem crazy for a few seconds, and to write complete sentences in mixed case) of Freepers, and held a focus group in front of a PC with Word and Powerpoint. With all the freakin spare time that the GOP has at this point this is their plan to save the nation??

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274579]billorders84[/re]: I like how you think the fact that they haven’t passed health care, education or energy after two months means they’ve failed already and won’t do it at all. But whatever. There are purty graphs on the GOP budget!! I’m going to go vote for them ’cause they’re rejecting the radical humanist communist conspiracy known as “numbers” and “projections.”

    The flow chart that flows to nowhere!

  • gradgrind

    [re=274571]Canuck13652[/re]:

    Do the math — Barocky’s had 1/48th the time, not 1/4th. What’s yer rush? But I get yer basic point, which is that we handed this man the world’s dirtiest job on a silver platter and he hasn’t earned an “outstanding” rating and a merit raise after, what, 10 whole stinkin’ weeks? Teh kollidge hoops must be melting his brain.

  • billorders84

    [re=274582]comradepaulson[/re]: The party has had more than two years to work on their agenda in the Congress. Apparently those two years went wasted. Now they have a year and a half left before the next round of elections, in which to get their legislation crafted, passed, and signed.

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • DC Hates Me

    [re=274581]phineas_bounderby[/re]: I read it to and thought: Gee, this couldn’t have been written by lobbyists. It sucks.

  • hockeymom

    [re=274539]chascates[/re]: 1/3 for the maths, obvs.

  • CaliforniaMike

    The real Republican plan is something that we haven’t tried in America for awhile — Feudalism.

    Republicans would own large estates and everyone else would work for them on those estates, keeping 10 percent of what they earn and turning the rest over to their liege lords. The serfs would get all the gruel they can eat, free medical care in the form of leeches and amputations and they could sing Negro spirituals whenever they wanted.

    Oops, I think that last one comes from a different Republican system — slavery.

  • phineas_bounderby

    It suddenly occurred to me what I’d do to develop a non-laughable plan at this point if I were in the GOP leadership. I’d contract with Jeff Skilling to develop the text. Sure he’s in prison, but I’m certain he’d have access to email and a word processor, and the GOP could offer him a pardon in the event that his plan resulted in the return to the glory days of Republican dominance. Look at the current plan the GOP has released, then look over Enron press releases from the years prior to the collapse, and tell me this isn’t a great idea!

  • Czn939

    Why is it now that when I read anything written by a Republican, I hear Bobby Jindal’s voice?

  • billorders84

    [re=274591]phineas_bounderby[/re]: Republicans don’t need to do anything to return to the ‘glory days’. If the Democratic party can’t get us out of recession, they will lose by default (at least history says so).

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • McDuff

    I guess the circle reading “Use Tobacco Tax to Buy Power Ball Tickets” got left out.

  • Roger the Shrubber

    Ah. I have long suspected that the people lying in a drunken stupor on the streets were really engineers.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=274539]chascates[/re]: You left out abstinence education & funding for the daddy/daughter marriage balls … shudder. (Is that what happened to Bristol but then she went rogue & had sex with someone she wasn’t kin to?)

  • shanemacgowan

    This is the Republican mind on drugs.

    Any questions?

  • Czn939

    In all their blathering about the apocalyptic doom of Universal Communist HellthCare, the Republicans seem to leave out one very large factor; a factor that already screws individuals who need proper coverage just as badly as they say these “government bureaucrats” will do. They ALREADY “ration and restrict access to health care in an arbitrary fashion.”
    One wonders if any of these wingnuts are NOT on the take from the health insurance lobby.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    There is an incredible graph on page 5 that shows the “average spending” in past years compared to “Obama Spending” which suddenly hovers in the mid-to-high insanity range. Everyone knows that we operated under a constant SURPLUS under Bush, so clearly that graph, created by a “C&O Estimate,” is totally fucking dogma.

    Than comes Page 6:

    • Will doctors be able to decide the best treatments
    for their patients, or will government
    bureaucrats ration and restrict access to care in
    an arbitrary fashion?

    Wasn’t Reagan saying that in the early 60’s? JEEBUS CHRIST IT’S FUCKING SOCIALISM

    OH GOOD IT’S PAGE 10 NOW:

    The Democrat budget calls for $1.9 trillion in new taxes
    on energy consumers, small businesses, charitable giving,
    savings, investments, and family farmers.

    This statement makes absolutely no sense and isn’t backed by any kind of figure/statistic/truth like at all. But still holy hell the Democrats LITERALLY WANT TO TAKE CANDY FROM BABIES.

    Page 13:

    Put simply, our energy policy is aimed at more energy—not less;
    at cheaper fuel bills—not higher; at more jobs—not fewer; and at
    increased energy independence—not less.

    You see, the Democrats are trying to create a depression so that they can make our government part of a GLOBAL GOVERNMENT with AMEROS. Clearly Barry has no more motivation feeding his family and being successful than any other American. He’s actually almost as bad as Dick Cheney.

    Page 14:

    Republicans want to end the bailouts, protect taxpayers,
    and provide a transparent recovery process.

    They wholeheartedly believe this because as everyone knows, the Obama administration is nothing but a VAPID lack of transparency. It is also clear that the TARP program didn’t happen under a Republican controlled White House at all, IT WAS MERELY THE DEMOCRATS BEING SNEAKY.

    Alright fuck this I can’t read anymore of this garbage. If anyone wants to take over, it’s your ass, not mine.

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274593]billorders84[/re]: It isn’t necessarily that automatic. Just ask the Whigs, or the British Liberal Party. Sometimes a party gets so irrelevant that they just collapse.

  • imissopus

    I just looked at that chart on p. 16 and the damn thing makes no sense. The deficit in 2007 was under $200 billion? And that was the fourth year in a row it had dropped??? WTF?

  • billorders84

    [re=274602]phineas_bounderby[/re]: When elections come next year, a budget plan which has absolutely zero chance of getting the time of day will hold no interest in the average voter’s mind. Barring something stupid on behalf of the GOP, an unending recession will put them back in Congress (although lets face it- not a majority in the House, for sure). To ensure that they stay in power Democrats must do something to abet (if not end) the recession. Being as Wall Street seems to spiral each time the feds make a move to help, it does not look good. My advice to the Democratic party: take time when crafting legislation.

    -billorders
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • valencia

    california mike: Dude, feudalism is alive and well in Amerika.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=274565]billorders84[/re]:

    And “back-on-track” means what? A return to the of era of candy canes, gummy bears, coke and large retention bonuses gained from diddling in naked credit default swaps, sub-prime mortgage securitization, bank under-capitalization, Siberian Railway Bonds and Diamond Whores? Lah-dah-dah, lah-dah-dee.
    Idiot.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=274606]billorders84[/re]: “My advice to the Democratic party: take time when crafting legislation.”

    What the fuck are you talking about? Did you read the fucking “Republican budget?” Do you fucking think for one minute that the Repugs have a shit of a chance of gaining back seats with initiatives like this? What the fuck?

    No, no and no. Wrong. So wrong. If any fucking Democrat brings this sack of shit out to light, the GOP will be put out to pasture. My gawd.

  • June Cleaver 2.0

    [re=274539]chascates[/re]: OMG you almost made me pee in my pants. Funny post.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=274592]Czn939[/re]: Because you were very very bad in a former life?
    “Republicans believe the best antidote for market turmoil is certainty and economic growth.” Ohhhhh. It’s a simple as that. Just go to Amazon and order enough “certainty” and “economic growth” to avoid the shipping charges. Why didn’t Obama think of that?

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=274609]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Well, seeing their defense of Rush on their blog pretty much said all I need to know about the poster.

  • Atheist Nun

    [re=274585]billorders84’s[/re]: ransom note using letters cut out from newspapers: “NoW thEy hAVe a YEar aNd a hALf 2 geT thEIR lEgISlaTioN cRaFTed, PAssEd, ANd sIGneD. Or ElSe!!!!!1!!!”

    Scaaaary. Next time, wrap your ransom note around a severed fish head, it means: “Anyone who can’t regurgitate the overly-masticated talking points of the “republicans” sleeps with the fishes.”

  • billorders84

    [re=274608]S.Luggo[/re]: Which president started the whole idea of lowering taxes on the rich?? Who was it…wait, I remember: Kennedy. I guess this democratic policy doesn’t work…

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274604]imissopus[/re]: It also says “Deficit Under Democratic Budget” and then, in smaller letters, it had to concede that 2004-2008 was, in fact, Republican Budgets.

    I’m surprised it doesn’t say “Democrat Budget” on top, but clearly, that was a printer’s mistake.

  • S.Luggo

    Republicant Budget:
    Step One: Soylent Green

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274615]billorders84[/re]: Bag of Dicks. Fork. Knife. Start Eating.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    It sounds like AA for Republicans. Gawd. Can you imagine the meetings?

    Hello, My name is Joe Lieberman and I am a Republican.
    Hi Joe!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=274615]billorders84[/re]: YA LETS GET BACK TO REAGAN’S POLICIES HE MADE US A BUTTLOAD OF FUCKING MONEY. AND BUSH TOO. THIS IS ALL CARTER AND CLINTON’S FAULT. Trip over yourself and land on a fork with a dick in your mouth, you swine.

  • billorders84

    [re=274614]Atheist Nun[/re]: Ouch. Apparently a conservative opinion is threatening? I’d hate to see what you’re like when watching Elizabeth Hasselback on the View, or watching any show on Fox News.

    Who knows maybe I am wrong about the 2010 elections. I just feel that the Democrats need to end the recession to stay in power, and thus far all legislation they are putting forth doesn’t seem to do that.

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274606]billorders84[/re]: Oh, yeah, Mr Bill. I’ve been hearing variants on this strategy for the past few years. The narrative runs something like “Everyone knows the Kenyan Muslim Socialist Black Guy is going to fail, so we don’t have to really do anything. We’ll just stand here and wait until the pendulum swings back”.

    The problem with that theory is that the national demographics have undergone a really significant shift, and since the GOP seems intent on branding itself as the southern white evangelical party, even if Obama developed into the new George W. Bush (ie, dropped about seventy five IQ points) it’s not likely that the voting population would say “Oh, the black guy failed, let’s elect Sonny Perdue president”.

  • CaliforniaMike

    [re=274607]valencia[/re]: Amen, but damn, I haven’t heard anybody say “Amerika” since 1971. Far out.

  • horned_viper

    Yay Wonkette has a legit winger troll in billorders84!!!!! Hooray!

  • horned_viper

    Um billorders – how did we GET into this recession in the first place? We’re trying desperately hard to forget the last 8 years aren’t we. But welcome to this place – you are brave, if stubbornly blind.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    “I just feel that the Democrats need to end the recession to stay in power, and thus far all legislation they are putting forth doesn’t seem to do that.”

    You can have that. But only that. However, you aren’t funny, like at all. You want to talk about “politics.” These people don’t know anything about politics. We only enjoy ass fucking. So, do you want to ass fuck? Otherwise, you should go away before Mark Foley finds out you’re here.

  • Atheist Nun

    [re=274622]billorders84[/re]: Oh, I’m not “threatened,” junior. Quite the contrary. And… wow, that’s embarrassing for you… I do not watch propaganda like Fox, so… strike 2.

    I’d like to join everybody here in encouraging you to eat a bag of dicks, with or without a side of Freedom Fries, your choice.

  • jcasabona

    shortsshortsshorts didn’t actually say anything (oh a dick joke…we are in 8th grade again) and I love how comments add substance to the site by calling billorders an idiot.

    This post has no substance either. “No one cares about stupid republicans. They are stupid.”

    Support your argument with data and real reasons, not just liberal talking points, and MAYBE I’ll will offer you a shred of credibility.

  • billorders84

    [re=274627]horned_viper[/re]: how am i a troll? i can’t post my own viewpoints? what happened to free speech? i can read the site but not comment on it?

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • phineas_bounderby

    I actually admire Mr. Bill, and think all you folks should be as nice to him as circumstances dictate.
    That doesn’t mean that I think you should give his remarkable read on GOP strategy a pass (a pretty accurate summary would be “it’s been three months, and that black guy hasn’t cleaned up the Bush mess yet. The American voters will be clamoring for Sarah Palin within a few years!!!!”)

    Just don’t scare him off. He’s a precious gift of a straight man.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=274632]jcasabona[/re]: OH GOOD because your adding a shred of credibility is pretty much the most important fucking thing to happen in the entire history of mankind.

    You want substance? Here: Fuck you. There’s your fucking substance.

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274627]horned_viper[/re]: And a troll that cites Elizabeth Hasselback as a conservative voice. Which I guess she is, but if you’re trying to impress, don’t you name drop a Newtie or George Will or Heritage Foundation or Hoover Institute or any of the other million think-tank doo-hickies the right has? I smell a Joe The Plumber fan. And it does not smell good.

    But yes, his posts are buttsecks-less and for that, he needs to go be assfucked by Ed Henry.

  • Balack_ObombA

    Democrats are so LoL.

    GOP is FOR killing murders and AGAINST killing babies… while them liberals are for killing babies and against killing murderers…

    lollawllmfaowtfhahalmaolmfaololhahawtfha

    These past 2 months have been an o-bombanation.

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274632]jcasabona[/re]: You obviously have never been to Wonkette before and therefore have some bizarre idea that this site has something to do other than tell dick jokes. Which it doesn’t. Unless you prefer something in douchetard or buttsecks and are just personally uncomfortable with the “dick.”

    Two trolls! Here, I’ll make you feel at home: NOBAMA birth certificate NOBAMA Muslin terrorist socialist communist telepromtersss1!1!

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274633]billorders84[/re]: I for one do not think of you as a troll. I think of you as a valuable asset. Bear in mind that I grew up with Eugene Talmadge, Marvin Griffin, Lester Maddox, and the other denizens of the Old South. If not for Conservative philosophy as the GOP is trying to preserve it (at least post Southern Strategy) I wouldn’t realize what a vapid and reactionary sack of bigot droppings the GOP has become. So stick around. Let’s talk Voting Rights Act, or Civil Rights Act of 1964. Or if you’d prefer we can talk about the wonderful Republican economic strategy which plummeted us over this cliff. I can’t speak for everyone else here, but I really want you to stay, and exercise the bejesus out of your free speech.

  • Balack_ObombA

    FOCA = weaksauce

  • S.Luggo

    [re=274615]billorders84[/re]: Since you can’t take the heat, thanks for wandering Off-Topic. The top income tax rate was decreased after Kennedy was dead.
    From Wiki: “In 1964 the top rate was decreased to 70% (1964 Revenue Act), then [under Reagan] to 50% in 1981 (Economic Recovery Tax Act or ERTA).”
    Learn DD, simpleton.

  • bonsai pajamas

    This is not fair. How are we supposed to embarrass republicans if they keep embarrassing themselves first?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=274643]S.Luggo[/re]: Hahaha at least we can count on Sluggo to make rational arguments.

  • billorders84

    [re=274641]phineas_bounderby[/re]: Thank you for the kind words- I want to stay as well.

  • bago

    Oooh! Bad grammar and everything. You need to spell it ‘babby’ though.

  • horned_viper

    Hey billorders, I welcomed you didn’t I? You seem to tend to ignore anything that is inconvenient to your argument. So again, I reiterate, you’re welcome. I never said anything about curtailing your first amendment speech. What is it about wingers thinking their freedom of speech is always being hindered anyway.

    A person who invokes Hasselbeck as the voice of the GOP and wonders why in 2 months Obama hasn’t fixed the huge mess we’re in after 8 years of W *is* trolling by ignoring reality. And trolls have their place – they help Wonkette get those much needed advertising moneys. Hope those SarahPAC $$$s keep flooding in.

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274646]billorders84[/re]: Well, no one’s banned you yet. We could carry the conversation over to Free Republic, and see how many seconds my nym lasts.

  • Hallux Valgus

    This “budget” is the best thing I’ve ever seen. It wouldn’t be more serious if it was just a flip book of the Monopoly guy holding two big bags of money and doing a sexy jig.

  • Balack_ObombA

    is it true that all liberals love rainbows and gay people? If that’s so i’ll use my 2nd ammendmant right to buy a gun and kill all yall mawfuckas

  • billorders84

    [re=274648]horned_viper[/re]: LoL sorry for not giving you a personal thanks for welcoming me to the site. Anyone who welcomed me to the site: thank you. Anyone who didn’t: oh well, I’m here anyway.

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274639]Balack_ObombA[/re]: The GOP is for killing murders? What good is a murder if it doesn’t kill? Unless you’re talking about hunting crows. That would be killing “a murder” if you killed the whole group.

  • billorders84

    [re=274649]phineas_bounderby[/re]: I’ve never been to Free Republic, but I’m guessing based on your comments it is conservative leaning? If I get banned you can always post on my website to carry on conversation. If I’ve been banned I’m not making another name in order to get back on this site: once shown the door, I’m not going to try to sneak back in. So if all of the sudden I stop posting, that’s why–since I do want to stay. Honestly though, joking aside, I don’t seriously think I’ll get banned.

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • Balack_ObombA

    Killing murderer’s my friend… murderers… LEarn to fucking read… Oh yea… liberocrats can’t read…. i guess there’s always HOPE hahahahalmfaowtfharoflmaolmfaohahaalollollolololllolol

  • answerbird

    Who needs a budget with actual numbers in it? Everyone knows that numbers have a well known liberal bias. Most economists are forecasting a bottoming out of the recession this year with slow growth next year. Of course they have known to be wrong in the past. Assuming things improve slightly next year, the only way the Democrats can lose is to defeat themselves (again they have shown the capability of doing that repeatedly). Obama has been nearly flawless politically, but has to tighten up the governance part (vetting of the cabinet, monetary policy that been all over the place, etc.).

    After eight years of being fucked by the republicans, the poor and middle class have finally woke up and starting to vote their economic self interest. The only proposals we have heard from the Repugs is tax cuts for the rich and ending earmarks. Besides, the current “leadership” is dumber than a box of rocks. You know you are scraping the bottom of the barrel when your big talking point is teleprompters. As long as Obama keeps Pelosi and Reid out of the spotlight, he will run circles around these jokers.

    Bill – if you don’t believe me look at the Gallup polls (Dems have 57% approval ratings; Repugs 22%)
    http://www.gallup.com/poll/116530/Approval-Congress-Hits-Four-Year-High-Fueled-Dems.aspx

  • Bearbloke

    [re=274589]CaliforniaMike[/re]: …except the slaves didn’t get to keep that 10% you mention…

  • billorders84

    [re=274656]answerbird[/re]: I usually go by Rasmussen. His most recent polls do actually show Democrats with a slight edge (the one before it, which I had last seen until your post encouraged me to check, had the GOP with the edge).

    http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/mood_of_america/congressional_ballot/generic_congressional_ballot

  • SemiCharmedQuark

    [re=274585]billorders84[/re]: Do you not understand the concept of “filibustering”? For serious?

  • Green Soda

    [re=274607]valencia[/re]: Damn straight. See “The Quiet Coup”, The Atlantic. Simon Johnson.

  • Balack_ObombA

    If we still had the 3/5th’s compromise… we’d have a solid God fearing GOP president again… :SIGH:

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    I hope Balack_Obomba gets banned (he’s a little scary & his grammar is horrendous). I think even redstate might have kicked him out.

    The other dude who keeps hawking his web site is not as scary, but just as myopic. I hope things are back to normal tomorrow!

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274655]Balack_ObombA[/re]: I did read your previous post and you typed murders. Wait… you called me “your friend”… Are you Walnuts?…

    Whatever. I should have been aborted and I can’t read and I’m gay and NoOBAMA and no abortions except that I should have been aborted and we like rainbows so we should be shot and NoOBAMA and Obama should have been aborted but he’s black like a crow so murder, murder, murder!

    All of the above is true and should be typed on a teleprompter. TELEPROMPTERSSS!!!!

  • Bearbloke

    Only ReThugiTards watch Elizabeth Hasselback AND Fox “News”…

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Everyone should ignore the trolls. They’re like Rush: if no one hears them, do they really exist??

  • DC Hates Me

    Another republican agenda lured to it’s death by pressing some hot buttons.

    Birth Certificate. Abortion. Soros!

    bzzzzzzz

  • billorders84

    [re=274659]SemiCharmedQuark[/re]: If Republican senators threaten to filibuster to support this plan they’d be stupid–this plan won’t win an election.

    Democrats might offer a compromise here and there, but it shouldn’t be hard to get enough votes to pass their in the Senate.

  • billorders84

    [re=274663]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’m hoping by normal you include me as a periodic commenter.

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274658]billorders84[/re]: You are better and yet somehow not as amusing as this Balack dude. That dude is serious troll.

    [re=274663]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I know. He’s beyond the Teleprompter. But I think he’s funny. I also think he may be a spoof.

  • Balack_ObombA

    texan… i think i’m alittle fucked up because im sitting here wondering how many times your dad had to diddle your dick before you became completely gay…

  • SemiCharmedQuark

    [re=274669]billorders84[/re]: Where have you been? Republicans have threatened to filibuster EVERYTHING Obama’s proposed. They used filibuster to kill EFCA, tried to kill the stimulus, and *would* filibuster the budget, if they could. Unfortunately they can’t. Then the lying toe rags tried to cry fowl about Obama using the budget reconciliation to get it passed, DESPITE the GOP using it to push the Bush tax cuts in 2001, 2003 and the Arctic Wildlife Refuge drilling bill in 2005. The GOP is a big, dicky, bag of shit-grapes.

  • El Pinche

    [re=274530]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: i…..i love you.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=274632]jcasabona[/re]: Do not fuck with SSS. You are warned. He has superpowers and more importantly, is funny.

  • OffTheRecord

    [re=274664]comradepaulson[/re]: OH MY GOD. Walnuts has escaped from the twitters! I knew they should have never taught him to get on the line.

  • Cranky Old Batt

    After reading all this flamey goodness, me tinks I haz a little snark-crush on phineas_bounderby.

  • snarkopolitan

    Balack: your dick obsession is pretty obvious. You should get out more, instead of sitting at home thinking about them all the time.

  • glamourdammerung

    Is it bad that I wonder if all the trolls that just showed up are the same person?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Holy crap, what the fuck’s going on here? BRB gotta get my boots on.
    Until then, something interesting — I’ve been looking for the graphs on http://www.cbo.gov and they’re not there (or else they’re hiding). The Republicans have just cobbled this shit together by grabbing numbers from one set of data and throwing them at another set — almost like Dick Cheney was standing over them saying “I don’t care if their plan works — make it look like it doesn’t.” Not that we would have any reason to mistrust Dick.

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274667]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Okay, I tell you not to worry about him and then he goes and types that. Sorry.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=274672]Balack_ObombA[/re]: I don’t know if you realize that ‘bulldoggette’ means that I’m a chick & don’t have a dick. Lay off the Mad Dog–it doesn’t do a body good.

  • Cranky Old Batt

    [re=274663]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Totally agree. At least Mr. Bill is carrying on a decent conversation, albeit based on flawed logic. This troll of which you speak spews text-speak drivel. Now, let us continue to ignore it so it will get bored and go play at MTV or something.

  • Balack_ObombA

    i do get out on occassion… but unfortunately liberals seem to be flaunting their ‘millimeter peters’ lately…

    Why don’t you guys shut up and change some more words… You make me want to make a ‘man caused disaster’ right in your face…

    pwnt

  • billorders84

    [re=274680]glamourdammerung[/re]: I have but only one name on here: billorders84. Of course I assume you mean me, because I’ve been called troll numerous times. I should ask for my screen name to be changed to ‘conservativetroll’ haha, it would save people the effort.

    -billorders84
    http://bill84121.blogspot.com

  • Balack_ObombA

    Bulldoggette: as far as I’m concerned all liberals are ignorant scum chud human beings….

  • Swampwitch

    [re=274689]billorders84[/re]: Quit hawking your dumb website. So boring.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=274682]comradepaulson[/re]: No worries. He must be a plant or blind drunk or Special Olympics stupid. I’m ignoring either way. Taxi Cab Confessions is on HBO, so I’m off for the night. Have fun with the ‘visitors’.

  • Balack_ObombA

    That blog link made me cry

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274689]billorders84[/re]: I didn’t think you were the same as the other troll, because you type in complete sentences. Of course, it could be a Jekyll/Hyde thing. Do you have another, more insane personality that you do not know about?

  • stolichnayaaa

    [re=274688]Balack_ObombA[/re]: The key is, check out their hands first. So you don’t waste your time.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Check out this spreadsheet — click the defict tab and notice the line that says “Debt Held by Public as a Percentage of GDP.” Compare with the chart on p.7 of the Republican BS sheet.

    For some reason, the 2019 Repub projection jumps to 80% of GDP, whereas the CBO’s projection sinks to 41.9%. I think the Republicans are thinking they’ll finally find those WMDs in 2019, but they’ll be in — oh, I don’t know — Bahrain or some other oil-rich place that needs liberatin’. That’s just a projection, though.

  • Balack_ObombA

    does your boyfriend know you talk like that…
    Fuck you rainbow bright bastard… Fuck you and your tranny friend buldogette

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274681]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I don’t know what you’re looking at, but you can download the GOP “budget” at Ezra Klein’s blog. He’s got a great post up about it.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=274700]comradepaulson[/re]: I’ve got their alleged budget — I’m just trying to corroborate their numbers with their alleged sources. This is what happens when you try to plan America’s financial future at a Britney Spears concert.

  • El Pinche

    WTF…is there a gas leak in here? who let out the down syndrome kids?

    Oh I get it, Balack “Obama is a n*gger but I’m too pussy to say it” ObombA likes to play with itself in front of liberals.

    [re=274689]billorders84[/re]: “Coach Limbaugh and the Republican team” ???? Hahahaha. Oh god. I was about to fall asleep until I saw that shit.

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274698]SayItWithWookies[/re]: OK, you already found it.

    This is the problem with the GOP. They did not show their work for this homework assignment. So who knows how they got their numbers? They put the budgets for 2004-2008 under a graph that said “Democratic Budgets.” I can’t get over that.

  • wickedlittledoll

    Wow. Did they use the internets to come up with this brilliance?

    http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com

  • buggers

    [re=274544]Colander[/re]: oh yeah, I just got a lecture on small businesses the other day too. Also included with “Do YOU like the way your country is being run right now?” Yes sir I do!

  • lulzmonger

    Sure, you laugh NOW – but we’ll see who’s laughing when they reveal their car with no wheels & their airplane with no wings!!11\!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    BUY A FORD TRUCK. MMMM YAA. There. This argument is settled.

  • El Pinche

    [re=274705]comradepaulson[/re]: They thought that no one would actually read it and try to make sense out of it. Then again, the MSM has guys like Ed Henry. So we may not hear anything about this tomorrow.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    I was about to go to bed but was amused to find out that I’m a ‘tranny’. That’s actually more exciting than being a middle-aged stay-at-home mom. I bet trannies go out more often & have more pairs of shoes. I am a total failure…sob….

  • Mr Blifil

    Lemme guess, they didn’t get a release form from the homeless dude either…

  • S.Luggo

    [re=274641]phineas_bounderby[/re]:

    “I think of you as a valuable asset.” Like:
    1. The Braille pilot in a Paultard blimp.
    2. Herpes simplex.
    3. Spent fuel rods.\

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274714]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: It’s never too late, man. Live your dreams. Or, you know, go to bed and get a good night sleep.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Is this budget in dollars or Ameros? Oh … I get it, it’s in WORDS. I tried to put words in my checking account once and Wells Fargo didn’t like it.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=274654]billorders84[/re]: “Honestly though, joking aside, I don’t seriously think I’ll get banned.”

    Bill, while Wonkette IS broadly recognized as a Leading Liberal Think Tank, one of its lesser known purposes is to make people laugh. So please don’t put joking “aside” here. You can have any crazy-ass opinion you want, but if it continues to be devoid of levity, you WILL be banned. Seriously.

  • answerbird

    [re=274658]billorders84[/re]: I actually love to hear when Repubs think they don’t have a problem, or even better they have to go back to their conservative principles. Realistically, the Dems will have trouble makes gains in the 2010 elections – they have picked off most of the seats in the swing disticts. They do have the advantage in the Senate in that the Repubs have more seats to defend. But seriosely dude – the base may love Palin, Steele, Jindhal and Limbaugh, but those are not the people you want representing your party. Right now there is not a Republican congressman in the Northeast and only three from New York. If the Repubs are going to sing the same tune in 2012 Obama will give the Republicans an ass whooping they have not seen since 1964.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    BUY A FUCKING FORD. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAVE TO BE STATED. FORD FTW.

  • Gallowglass

    [re=274688]Balack_ObombA[/re]: Yes indeed, whenever I go out these days my excursions are ruined by tiny penises. They’re just everywhere. It wouldn’t be so bad if they were big penises, that might even be kinda fun. But, as you pointed out, they were probably molested by their parents.

    Never change. You’re beautiful.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=274714]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: “Tranny” means Transylvanian.
    Say it loud,
    Say it proud,
    Transylvania Six,
    Five-Oh-Oh-Oh
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXGQNm4EKoc

    I utter this as a Trans-Carpathian.
    Ahh-rooo.

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274654]billorders84[/re]: On this site I’m much likelier to get banned than you, since I have an egregious deficit of posts about trucknutz and buttsecks (not to mention that my age seems to be about 2.5 times the average age on the site). I’m only allowed to stay here because I can sing all the old Lefty anthems (“Si me queres escribir”, “The Banks Are Made of Marble”, “Internationale”).

    Otherwise those young whippersnappers would’ve tossed my wizened old butt off here months ago.

  • Pizzuti

    Oh, shit, I understand the confusion. They thought we were trying to make the economy worse. We should email them and say we wanted it to be better.

  • zenferret

    balack is an almost interesting troll. Stupid enough to be entertaining. He and dick jokes are at about the same level.

    Billorders is boring. Just as stupid but he uses complete sentences in making up his nonsense. Completely untruthful but completely unwilling to deal with the truth so he’s just smug. No I don’t think he lives under a bridge and has nothing to worry about from a gruff billy goat. I’d wonder about him being a fake but he has that blog.

    I peeked. He said stupid things about evolution not being proven. That’s enough to know he is too stupid to know how stupid he is. He’s too boring to use dick jokes on.

  • comradepaulson

    [re=274746]zenferret[/re]: I believe one of them is Ed Henry. I just don’t know which one.

  • Keram2

    [re=274536]JesseJB[/re]: I’d like to point out that the above illuminating picture that goes along with this post is actually 100% as follows:

    1. Homelessness
    2. ????
    3. Profit.

  • americanscandoanything

    [re=274689]billorders84[/re]:

    welcome ‘conservativetroll’

    please start being funny

  • S.Luggo

    [re=274738]phineas_bounderby[/re]:
    Old Lefty anthems?
    What about old Righty anthems?
    1. If I had a BMW, I would drive it in the morning, I would drive it all over this land
    2. Amazing bonus, how sweet it is
    3. I dreamed I saw Ayn Rand last night
    4. What’s So Funny About Love, Peace & Securitization?

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=274748]comradepaulson[/re]: The one who writes most like a fifth grader.

  • norbizness

    “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.” — G.W. Bush.

    Good thing he’s gone, or this abominabortion would confuse the fuck out of him.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    FORD. PUT YOUR MONEY IN FORD. FORD FTW.

  • norbizness

    I can’t believe that 84,120 other bills got on Blogspot before this waterhead decide to spew circa-1998, AOL political chatroom-grade, reactionary, factless talking points all over it.

  • Hooray For Anything

    See, Republican Party– this is why you need teleprompters

  • El Pinche
  • S.Luggo

    [re=274766]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Agency or company, or both?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=274730]answerbird[/re]: I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope……

  • S.Luggo

    [re=274779]El Pinche[/re]: As a data point or for himself?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Couldn’t help myself — here are some suggestions for the poor bastards on how to improve their sorry ass budget.
    http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/2009/03/cotton-candy-for-republican-soul.html

  • Anarchitect

    Obviously the Republicans among us don’t get that commenting on Wonkette is not about who you vote for, but how funny your comment is.

    Is the only humor in the Republican party to be found in their legislation and briefings?

    Where are the smart snarky conservatives of yore?

    Woe.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=274804]Anarchitect[/re]: in airport restrooms practicing their wide stances…

  • Bruno

    Can’t we make the black homeless man into a cariologist or pilot? I think that would be a safer profession than studying a building’s weak points for fear of terrorist attacks. Nevur Ferget.

  • schvitzatura

    Circles with meaningless platitudes written in baby blue TradeGothicLTStd-Bold font will guarantee an electoral blowout in 2012 and all the future quadrennial out-years!

  • TGY

    This is really not a ‘Road to Recovery’ as much as a ‘Gravel Trail to Trailer Park’.

    And the one graph is hysterical. I suggest the scanty diagrams be replaced with one circle inscribed by either “MOTHER”, “HELP”, or “BIG SALE: TRUCKNUTZ”

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274762]S.Luggo[/re]: Oh God, Sluggo. Now I have to finish writing the songs you started. I may have to change “BMW” to “Beemer” to make the meter work though.

    If I had a Beemer I’d drive it in the mornin’
    I’d drive it in the evening … all over this town
    I’d drive it to the SCOTUS to support my fellow Birthers …
    I’d drive it to the store … to buy … more tin foil for my helmet …

    Woah oh …
    All over this town oh oh oh … ooo ooo ooo …

    If I had a keyboard, I’d work in in the morning
    I’d work it in the evening … all over the web
    I’d work it for the Freepers, and over on Po … lit … i … co
    I’d work it to protect us from the Muslins and the Commies Oh Ohhhhhhhhh ….

    Needs a bit of polishing, but if I throw in a few teLeProMpter comment and tighten up the meter I think I’ll be ready to send a demo to Rush Limbaugh.

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274762]S.Luggo[/re]: The really hard one is going to be “I dreamed I saw Ayn Rand last night”, but it could be a true masterpiece. Not much rhymes with “Galt’s Gulch”, and the words “Alan Greenspan” are hard to fit into the meter of Joe Hill.

  • Canuckledragger

    [re=274632]jcasabona[/re]: “Support your argument with data and real reasons, not just liberal talking points, and MAYBE I’ll will offer you a shred of credibility.”

    Yeah, ‘coz our entire reason for living is the hope that you’ll MAYBE offer us something…. ‘Coz YOUR opininon of us means SO much to us.

    You wanna give us something we want? How’s about your absence?

    Narcissist much?

  • DeathOfIrony

    Who was the last republican that was funny, and not unintentionally funny? The whole Larry Craig super-tuber recipe was a stroke of unintentional brilliance, but who was the last funny guy? Has there ever been one?

    Who is that former SNL conservative non-funny guy? What was that comedy show on Fox news with Rush? I really can’t remember! Were any of the Three Stooges conservatives? Anyone? I’ve always wondered why this is. Certainly the conservatives are having more buttsecks than anyone else, so they have to have some sense of play!

  • GDTRFB

    Is John Boehner trying to transition to Stand Up Comedy?

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274869]DeathOfIrony[/re]: To answer your question indirectly, when David Zucker was a liberal Democrat he made Police Squad and Airplane. Once he became a wingnut he made American Carol. Does that tell you anything about the effects of Wingnuttery on one’s sense of humor?

  • Mustang

    [re=274536]JesseJB[/re]: I can replace your ?????? with “Rich get richer from the sweat and toil of middle class”

    Happy to help.

  • Rary Guppert

    [re=274530]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: i think cheney’s life-support system will take up more like 40% of the republican budget. after all, in his natural environment he breathes ammonia instead of oxygen.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=274539]chascates[/re]: You left out the 1/3 or the pie that goes for anal.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=274565]billorders84[/re]: You sound like the Indiana GOP blogger who was guaranteeing that there was no way McCain was going to lose Indiana. Oh and next time, wipe the dried cum off your fingers before you type. It permeates.

  • DeathOfIrony

    [re=274934]Mr Blifil[/re]: And boy do they love the crust

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Will doctors be able to decide the best treatments
    for their patients, or will government
    bureaucrats ration and restrict access to care in
    an arbitrary fashion?

    Everyone knows that it’s the Kaiser Permanente and Blue Cross bureaucrats who should be deciding to restrict access to care in an arbitrary fashion.

    THAT’S THE REPUBLICAN WAY!!!!!!

  • Gorillionaire

    [re=274654]billorders84[/re]: Goddamn I love this: “what is this Free Republic you speak of? Some sort of vaguely right leaning website of some kind I would assume?” Oh man that is some funny ass shit. Please Bill O stay here forever. I couldn’t have made you up if I were Lewis Carroll smoking opium on a flying kite with Bill Burroughs.

  • isadelia

    [re=274564]Come here a minute[/re]: Oh jeebus. I just looked at Silver’s chart and am crying from the laughter. Or maybe crying because knowing Republicans, there is a possibilty that this is true.

  • Atlas Spanked

    Obviously, these people are retarded. But when folks say ‘last eight years,’ let us not forget that Reagan “Ronnie of St. Alzheimers” was elected in 1980, and Gingrich chimps dominated the House during the Arkansas Billy admin.

    So, the GOP monkey zoo has had 29 years to destroy this country. (Which means the “O” admin has had 1/174th the time to correct their damage.)

    Yeah, math’s boring, but the gist is: Bury these zombies for good. If you leave the head on they just come back more rotten and stinky than before.

  • Internally valid

    [re=274702]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m not sure that’s going to work. My guess is that Obama and the CBO link you gave are projecting steady economic growth over the next X number of years. Republicans are likely assuming no growth or negative growth, or just using today’s GDP. That’s what I would do if I wanted to lie with numbers.

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=274993]isadelia[/re]: Me too, and I withdraw my suggestion that Jeff Skilling be retained to work on the Grand Old Plan. I think the Underpants Gnomes win hands down.

  • Squish

    [re=274566]stolichnayaaa[/re]: win.

  • llyn

    Dear Everybody,
    Ignoring trolls is the only way to go. Don’t argue with them, don’t insult them, don’t pay any attention to them at all. I like to read Wonkette for the snark and the humor and the occasional brilliant stroke. When the comments section turns into a cage fight, who wants to be either a witness or a participant. “Don’t wrestle with pigs, You get dirty, and they enjoy it.”

  • Czn939

    BUTTSECKSS TRUCKNUTTZZ N HALF MUSLIN TELEPROMTERZZZZZ!!!!!1111ONE

    There, now we can all continue to snark.

  • Tommmcatt

    [re=274562]Uncle Glenny[/re]:

    God yes. The internet has a dearth of such wondrous, attitude-lifting images. MOAR MARIO BUTT, PLZ!

  • phineas_bounderby

    [re=275171]llyn[/re]: To each their own, but to me an atmosphere of snarkfestivity is the absolute best place to entertain trolls, particularly when they believe they’re engaging in serious political bait. Besides, I’m not wrestling with the pig, but am teaching it to sing. Did I ever tell you about the time I organized the Greater South All Ferret Barbershop Quartet? Ferrets don’t have much command of the English language, but they’re surprisingly good at close harmony.

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