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BUT AWARDS SEASON IS OVER

Wonkette’s Jim Newell Is Washington’s Favorite Blogger

Fuck yeah.
Capitol Hill typing demon Jim Newell has won an Important Honor! He probably thanks you for your support, in his way. [Washington City Paper]


4:28 PM on Thu March 26 2009
By Ken Layne
1441 Views

  1. teebob2000 says at 4:32 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Oh, great. Now we’ll NEVER get alt-text on his posts.

  2. HoboNutz says at 4:34 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Over 50 million people voted for Jim and Sarah K Smith — mostly for Sarah K Smith.

  3. magic titty says at 4:35 pm, March 26th, 2009

    When do we getz to fuck him?

  4. Atheist Nun says at 4:36 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Congrats Jim Newell, you hot ginger bitch, you.

  5. shanemacgowan says at 4:37 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim Newell is a local DC blogger? I thought he was serving a Fellowship studying Muslin-Jesus People relations at the prominent religious think-tank Wonkette

  6. problemwithcaring says at 4:38 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Hey - props for being a white guy and winning best of anything in DC! And an alright writer to boot.

  7. hockeymom says at 4:40 pm, March 26th, 2009

    What is a Prince of Petworth, pray tell?

  8. Colander says at 4:43 pm, March 26th, 2009

    hockeymom: I actually googled that, thinking maybe I could make a joke out of it. Didn’t work out that way, but I think he just talks about local stuff of a non-political nature.

  9. SayItWithWookies says at 4:44 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Congrats, Jim! I noticed you changed the teleprompter yesterday — what’s up with that?

  10. artbot2000 says at 4:44 pm, March 26th, 2009

    It’s all good, but I still miss Princess Sparkle Pony.

  11. magic titty says at 4:44 pm, March 26th, 2009

    HoboNutz: There’s no “H” in that Sara, yo.

  12. tunamelt says at 4:45 pm, March 26th, 2009

    magic titty: I call next.

  13. Damn, Newell’s WON THE AFTERNOON twice today.

  14. spymoose says at 4:47 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Congrats but don’t go all Ed Henry on us now.

  15. assistant/atlas says at 4:47 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Tonight, Jim Newell, we drink to you.

    Which means you’ll probably have several more alcohol-related fatalities on your conscience.

    Congratulations!

  16. you cannot be serious says at 4:47 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Standing Ovation.

    Snark triumphs again.

  17. facehead says at 4:47 pm, March 26th, 2009

    hockeymom: He blogs for LOLcats.

    Gratz Jimbo, NOW SHOW US THAT BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. jagorev says at 4:47 pm, March 26th, 2009

    The fact that Jim and Sara don’t get to ask questions in the White House briefing room, but Jake Tapper, is a crying shame.

  19. JimNewell says at 4:48 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Thank you all for going to vote in this thing Ken made up one day and then forced you to go and vote at. But I will not be returning my bonus, I will quit Wonkette, and I will travel the country giving money to poor people, because everyone is so mean!

  20. The Cold Sea says at 4:49 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim Newell, Ginger Demon, best of DC.

  21. Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! says at 4:50 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Would Sara mind if Newell does the champion’s Elephant Walk?

  22. chascates says at 4:50 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim Newell Rules!

    Trucknutz for all!

  23. WadISay says at 4:52 pm, March 26th, 2009

    I don’t even want to think about the lash that would have come down on all of us if he had lost to “Prince of Petworth.”

  24. Canuckledragger says at 4:52 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Wow! First a black man becomes President and now a ginger scores Best Local Blogger.

    Apparently we SHALL overcome.

  25. BigDupa says at 4:53 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim Newell: Jim, you are the John McCain to Sara K Smith, our Sarah Palin. If she had a jock, you’d be carrying it.

  26. tunamelt says at 4:55 pm, March 26th, 2009

    jagorev: JAKE TAPPER WHAT?

  27. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 4:55 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Huzzah! Buttsecks all around!

  28. wheelie says at 4:58 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Well done, Jim Newell! I hope the heady success of youth will not blind you to the inevitable disappointments, failures and grinding miseries of later life. Enjoy!

  29. Jukesgrrl says at 4:58 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim, now that you’ve bested the Prince, we’re going to have to think up a royal title for you. Lord AltText?

    hockeymom: The Prince of Petworth is Princess Sparkle Pony’s bitch. Obviously.

  30. Canuckledragger says at 5:01 pm, March 26th, 2009

    tunamelt: I think he just misplaced a comma.

    “Jake Tapper is a crying shame.”

    */fix-ed

  31. jagorev says at 5:03 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Has anyone tested Jim Newell for performance-enhancing drugs (vodka)?

    tunamelt: I meant to say “does”, but typing “Jake Tapper” made me too furiously angry to concentrate.

  32. NuckingFutz says at 5:04 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Today, we are all hawt ginge Jim Newell.

  33. Rumproast says at 5:06 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim, your blog is very nice, but I can’t help but notice that your participation is much smaller than that of your nearest competitor, Uppity Woman.

    I’m sure you are aware that people voted for you in order to spite the Uppity Woman blog because they are/were Hillary Clinton supporters. I can see from your posts that you are honorable as well as intelligent, and would probably rather win an award the old fashioned way, rather than as the result of hatefulness and divisiveness.

    Therefore, I have a suggestion for you that will undoubtedly make you a hero with thousands of “puma fans” and increase your blog activity: why not step down and decline the award for the reason that you don’t wish to condone the “fixing” of the races by the older, bigger, bully bloggers? There are hundreds of small puma blogs and I guarantee you that you would achieve hero/cult status among them if you took such a bold stand for integrity.

    If you disagree, that’s fine, and I hope you won’t take offense. Best wishes to you!

  34. 2druk2phluq says at 5:06 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim Newell: You’re real? I thought you were a hologram placed here by the Illuminati to instigate the social change that will lead us into the times after the rapture.

    And the award for Blog With the Largest Number of Cynics in its threads goes to…

  35. El Vista says at 5:08 pm, March 26th, 2009

    This can’t be true. Do we remember mob voting on this one?

  36. Canuckledragger says at 5:09 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jukesgrrl: WTF??? You wanna award the highly coveted Lord Alt Text sobriquet to JIM NEWELL, the ONLY one posting here who’s too damned lazy to come up with any Alt Text tags???

    Ken Layne, SKS, Elizabeth Askew, Malaka Gharib and even lowly intern Juli Weiner ALL provide such comic relief, but NOT NEWELL!!!1!

    Newell is one shiftless, no-account, deadbeat ginger.

  37. jagorev says at 5:11 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Canuckledragger: Every time Jim callously refuses to post alt-text, David Denby wins.

  38. El Pinche says at 5:12 pm, March 26th, 2009

    i smell warblog. ….or JenniForHillary’s stale fat fold sweat.

  39. Red Zeppelin says at 5:17 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Rumproast: Hooray! The PUMAs are back! We thought y’all were just in hiding after the election. I even suggested yesterday that someone call to make sure you were ok (no heads in ovens, or anything of that nature). Welcome back!

    And yes, kudos to our very own boy toy!

  40. Jukesgrrl says at 5:20 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Canuckledragger: Sorry. I don’t have OCD, so I never really kept track of who did and who didn’t. I bow to your superior observatory skills. I’m currently distracted by how much milk Ed Henry puts in his tea. (Insert tea bagging joke here.)

  41. JimNewell says at 5:23 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Canuckledragger: Everything you wrote is 100% true.

  42. Canuckledragger says at 5:27 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jukesgrrl: You DON’T have OCD but you’re distracted by Ed Henry’s lactose intake? You sound REALLY fucked up.

    My kinda girl. Wanna have coffee some time?

  43. proudgrampa says at 5:31 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Congratulations, Jim. You’ve made me proud(er)!

  44. JadedDIssonance says at 5:33 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Rumproast: Touche!

    Congrats to JIM our FAVE WAR BLOG GENERALE!!

  45. PrairiePossum says at 5:34 pm, March 26th, 2009

    The prize for winning Best Local Blogger is a case of Hobo Beans and 1,000 make-believe Bachmann Bucks.

  46. Lascauxcaveman says at 5:36 pm, March 26th, 2009

    I think I can speak for all Pacific Northwest Wonketteers that Jimmy is our favorite blogger in the other Washington, too.

    Well done/played/gamed/rigged, my fine Ginger friend.

  47. Capitol Hillbilly says at 5:37 pm, March 26th, 2009

    first he WINS THE CYCLE. then he wins the City Paper Poll. kid is on a roll.

  48. Gopherit says at 5:38 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Rumproast: You are a bad, bad man.

    Go, Jim, go! Now if only this prize could give a ginger a soul.

  49. Rumproast says at 5:41 pm, March 26th, 2009
  50. WIDTAP says at 5:43 pm, March 26th, 2009

    All I know is that is shit like this that keeps raising Jim’s profile with the Secret Service.

  51. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:48 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Red Zeppelin: Rumproast is a blog that has devoted many months to the destruction of PUMA’s.

    Rumproast: WIN. FUCKING WIN WIN WIN.

  52. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 5:56 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim Newell can suck my cock.

    (That’s not an insult. I just wanted to make it clear that he had open-ended (haw haw!) permission to suck my cock. As do all Wonkette editors, and readers for that matter, and any animals that aren’t too “bitey”.)

    My point is, congratulations, Jim. You cock sucker. (I hope?)

  53. sati demise says at 5:59 pm, March 26th, 2009

    El Vista: All the computers at the library and the Starbucks wifi next to Tent City crashed.
    Hobo beans for Jim, with sauce.

  54. El Pinche says at 6:04 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Red Zeppelin: Yes, many of us wear Rumproast jackets. Rumproast’s site contains explicit examples of the PUMAs inane and pathetic existence . And much much more , of course.

  55. How could this happen? Confluence said Jim was a PIG!

    If Hillz were Prez, this would have never happened because sexism will be gone forever

  56. JimNewell says at 6:07 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Rumproast: I’m sorry about your cat, truly.

  57. Holding Out for a Hero says at 6:16 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Yeah for Jimmeh! I already wanted to have my way with you because of the Ed Henry article. So this is just icing on the cake

  58. El Pinche says at 6:19 pm, March 26th, 2009

    I can hear Ken’s envious weeping from here. Sad.

  59. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 6:28 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Jim won because he went to Yale. Or was it Harvard? Eh, same thing.

  60. Scandalabra says at 6:53 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Think of it as just a down payment on the Nobel.

  61. arclight says at 6:57 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Oh Jim, now that you’re being given the credit you deserve, could you float me a dimebag?

  62. bitchincamaro says at 7:24 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Liz called. You are sooooooooooooo Moonie-bait, now, Newell.

  63. Today we are all Jim Newell.

  64. Rumproast: Well played, sir/madam. Well played!

  65. Country Club Jihadi says at 7:53 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Someone needs a yard sign:
    I’m Jim the #1 Blogger.
    Don’t Tax Me for Working Hard!

  66. rocktonsammy says at 7:59 pm, March 26th, 2009

    So this Newell guy thinks hes the ‘cock of the walk,’ hes the ‘cock of nothing!’

  67. Pop Socket says at 8:07 pm, March 26th, 2009

    But what are they saying about his victory over at RedState?

  68. You deserve to win based on the Noonan posts alone. The rest are icing on the cake.

  69. S.Luggo says at 8:46 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Best Local Blogger/Blog

    Yup. Well deserved. I have always enjoyed Newell’s blogs about spying on local DC’s schoolyards and visiting the men‘s room stalls at Dulles. Keep it coming, Jim.

  70. S.Luggo says at 9:25 pm, March 26th, 2009

    The Cold Sea: That’s pronounced “ging-er”.

  71. Monsieur Grumpe says at 10:11 pm, March 26th, 2009

    Seems like just yesterday Jim was in diapers. I think he was calling it research.
    Congrats Jim.

  72. gliberal says at 10:28 pm, March 26th, 2009

    If he had any balls he would turn it down. “I obscenity in the milk of your mother’s obscenity!”

  73. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 4:08 am, March 27th, 2009

    Congratulations Jim, You have always bee our Queen of Hearts!

  74. Rumproast says at 5:39 am, March 27th, 2009

    Jim Newell: Thanks, Jim. Greatly appreciated.

  75. Biden Time says at 1:14 pm, March 27th, 2009

    Jim who? Oh right. Congrats Mr. Newhall!

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