Our terrifying futureRemember the other day when China said, “Hmm, maybe we want a global reserve currency that isn’t the dollar, as America’s compulsive overborrowing will most certainly lead to hyperinflation, which would suck for us”? This caused our favorite Bush-groping crazed baby-farming Minnesota representative, Michele Bachmann, to propose legislation banning the replacement of the dollar with any other currency … in the United States.

Should this legislation pass, that means we will never be able to trade yen or pesetas or Ron Paul’s dreaded Ameros in exchange for goods and services here in the US: a possibility that nobody has ever suggested might occur.

Meanwhile, there is really no stopping every other country in the world from deciding to put all their reserves in euros or whatever, even though we can all agree that is a terribly un-American thing for all of our international counterparts to do.

Bachmann Introducing Bill to Ban Use of Made-Up Global Currency [Matt Yglesias]

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  1. Next up: Michelle Bachmann introduces legislation banning the internment of American Citizens in UN re-education camps built on Lunar soil.

  2. There are more pressing REAL concerns this “representative” should be tackling. To wit: When will she propose a ban on Unicorn abortions?

  3. [re=274052]comradepaulson[/re]:
    I laugh at your Parker Bros cash. It’s nothing compared the BILLIONS I have stashed away in Game of Life Money.

  4. I wonder how deep into the day republicans take that deep breath and initiate their craziness. There’s no way they wake thinking this shit matters. It’s gotta kick in after coffee or something.

  5. One thing (among many) you can say about Michelle Bachmann: she’s certainly not as aesthete.

    I mean, I’d be up for replacing dollars with cowry shells if it would mean getting rid of the world’s butt-ugliest money. The lamely “redesigned” bills issued these last few years make it seem as though the mint did nothing but accidently run them through the wash in the back pocket of some new jeans.

  6. Can you list in descending order of favorability all Bush-groping crazed baby-farming Minnesota representative?

    Thanks, I’ll take my answer off the air.

  7. The voting rights of anyone who voted for a moron should be revoked for good. Why would any sane human being vote for Michelle Bachmann, Maxine Waters or any of the idiots who populate our capital?

  8. [re=274052]comradepaulson[/re]: I’ve got a blindingly white, pristine, half-sized $100,000 bill from the Game of Life. Look, I’m a teacher, so I was only making $7,000 a year, so it took me forever to save up. And now I can’t use this to buy Chinese fireworks? TEA PARTY TIME.

  9. Well, as long as they’re English-speaking dollars with real Christian slogans on them and, I think the Texas delegation can get behind the Honorable Representative Bachmann’s proposed legislation.

  10. Let the record reflect that Manchu’s comment was still in the Wonkette aether when I posted my lame attempt. What will I tell my armless, legless, baby blue son and pink daughter?

  11. Is it possible? Is it possible that Michelle Bachman makes me miss Katherine Harris?

    Oh, look at that, a pig just flew by my window.

  12. [re=274070]Dreamer[/re]: Maybe it’s just cable teevee and Youtubez but it seems like the House of Representin’ is getting bat shittier crazy every session.

  13. As long as she doesn’t fuck with the seashells and hobo beans we’ve been using down at Los Cuidad de la Tienda, I can still buy my loosies and propane canisters.

  14. [re=274077]CollegeStudent[/re]:

    Michelle Bachman, Katherine Harris and Shelley Sekula Gibbs would make an awesome female assassination squad under the command of some Right-wing religious cult leader (the Reverend Moon, perhaps?).

  15. Minnesota you owe me something. An open bar ? a four diamond whore ? I don’t know but something. You saddled us with this ar-tard and she won’t shut up.

    And oh yea, you vote for lizard people.

    I like magazines, also.

  16. Actually, what China said was more like “Hmm, maybe we should use a basket of currencies for trade instead of a single global reserve currency”, which obviously means that the ChiComs are going to personally invade through our Messican border to analrape Ron Paul with bundle Fiat Ameros.

    Btw, I bet a Fiat Amero would have great handling.

  17. Whoo hoo, I eagerly await the day I can use all those shiny commemorative Barry silver dollar coins they’re hawking on QVC.

  18. [re=274107]Come here a minute[/re]: She already did at the hearings on Monday (or Tuesday); he looked like he was trying to pass a stone because he couldn’t fathom how stupid her question was. Bernanke looked like he wanted to say “Cunt, please” when she asked him about it.

  19. During my junior year of college Oliver North was running for the Senate from my home state of Virginia. One of my roommates was from Minnesota and gave me endless grief over this. Since then Minnesota has given us Jesse (The Body) Ventura as governor, the Coleman/Franken debacle, and the head-smacking insanity of Michele Bachmann. Meanwhile Virginia came to its senses and did not vote for Ollie North. I wish I knew where my old roommate is so I could call him and yell “Payback is a motherfucker, motherfucker!”

  20. [re=274086]Serolf Divad[/re]: Well, I have always thought that under the right circumstances, Oprah and Martha Stewart could lead a revolution and take over a country ala Fidel and Che`, while the politics might not mesh exactly, I could see those three leading Fidoprah Winstro and MarChe` Stewvara’s death squad, going around taking out dissenters, or people with bad pie recipies and poor interior decoration.

  21. [re=274096]Gin-o-saurus[/re]: I am just putting two and two together here. Maybe the vote for Teh Lizard People was a vote for Bachmann.

    Personally, I don’t care what currency they use as long as it’s got cabalistic and Masonic signs all over it and they can use the metallic strip to find me by satellite.

  22. [re=274090]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I am there now, sir, touting the Amero and fluffing up TruckNutz.

    When you come by, ask for [Mrs.] Vera [Canuckledragger]. We’re all a first name basis over there.

    Once more into the breach!!1!!1!

  23. Would this eliminate the Disney Dollar? Does she want to crash the Florida economy? Katherine Harris, your crazy is needed to save your state from this other crazy!

  24. Keep in mind the GOP knows this is bullshit – but it scares the Bejesus out of the Jesusers, and the flyovers, so it’s being pushed hard. Michelle probably believes it, though, which is what makes it funny.

  25. She is without a doubt the person who proposes legislation that within 100 years will seem insane, stuff like not being able to tie horses outside of saloons, no spitting within 50 yards of church or no beer sales on Sundays. Well, actually her proposals actually don’t need 100 years to be seen as crazy

  26. [re=274096]Gin-o-saurus[/re]: We’re sorry! WE’RE REALLY SORRY! But please remember that the vast majority of Minnesotans didn’t vote for her. It was just those whackadoos in her district. Some of us are quite sane and are now pretending to be from North Dakota. You betcha.

  27. oh come on now! this on top of the bill to keep michelle obama barefoot and pregnant, is taking republican stupidity to new heights. this is dumb, even for bachmann.

  28. [re=274213]TGY[/re]: Fine, but we’re taking the entire Coen Bros. filmography and every album the Replacements ever recorded with us.

  29. I’ll still stuff my mattress with euros instead of dollars. They don’t print $200 or $500 bills any more, so I’d need a king-sized mattress if I was going to stick with the local currency.

  30. I actually can’t yell at Michelle Bachman for this one.

    While I admit she’s batsh** crazy and fun to make fun of, this time her issue has a kernel of importance.

    Changing currencies would be a disaster from us. It does not release us from our debts. Instead the purchasing power of the ‘money’ we have goes down. The lenders and banks we owe actually would make a handy profit in this. Just google — a m e r o

    *shakes head at how frakked up this world is becoming*

  31. [re=274073]The Cold Sea[/re]: I’ve paid for entire meals in San Francisco using Euros (back when I used to be able to afford restaurants, instead of the now standard ramen noodles).

  32. [re=274123]CollegeStudent[/re]: Well, the gays would be safe, but pretty much every real ‘murican would be toast under that scenario. And you don’t want to see what the Oprah does to toast.

    [re=274135]jagorev[/re]: There’s no way the Norwegian would take them back–they’ve got tons of oil money and they ain’t sharing. Maybe we could give ’em to Canada. They both have the same funny accents so I doubt anyone would notice. And even if they did, they’re all too polite to say anything about it.

  33. ….and when I write “take them back” I really mean “take them over” since I am aware that Norway has never actually controlled Minnesota.

  34. [re=274389]While I admit she’s batsh** crazy and fun to make fun of, this time her issue has a kernel of importance.[/re]:

    Or it would if there was a single person of any significance, anywhere, seriously proposing monetary union. Unfortunately for Bachmann, there isn’t, and the Amero exists only in the addled, possibly syphilitic minds of the Ron Paul Moon Brigade and assorted Michigan Militia rejects.

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