Wonkette
- The Red River in Fargo may rise to unprecedented levels this weekend, so locals are hastily erecting dikes to stem the flood. [Minnesota Public Radio]
- Secretary of State Clinton admitted that greedy drug fiends in the US do not help Mexico with its drug-violence problem. [Christian Science Monitor]
- A test pilot crashed a $140 million F-22 war plane and died in the California desert. [Los Angeles Times]
- The Pentagon says the Chinese military is trying to become more competitive with the US military. They’re still pretty far from being able to sustain large combat operations outside their own borders. [New York Times]
- H&M, your favorite purveyor of cheap designer knock-off outfits, said their quarterly profit dropped for the first time in more than five years. [Bloomberg]
- Car bomb in northern Baghdad, 16 people killed. [BBC News]
Gee that’s a shock. Ignoring drug demand doesn’t work. Yet again Supply side economics fail.
The Red River flood is a metaphor for Barry’s Islamocommunism overwhelming America.
In Soviet North Dakota, you make dykes erect!
A test pilot crashed a $140 million F-22 war plane and died in the California desert.
The cost of the jet was then taken out of his paycheck.
Car bomb in northern Baghdad, 16 people killed.
Then they were fired for missing work.
Yes, I’m extra-super-duper bitter today.
4tehlulz:
No, the river runs red because it is a river of blood… as predicted in the Book of Revelations. So this is just further proof that Obama is the Anti-christ.
4tehlulz: A real Bible-thumpin’ American President would use his powers to hold back the wind and the waters . . . Oh. Nevermind.
So does this mean that Pentagon says the Chinese military is like Chinese food. After about 20 minutes, they need to retake their objective again?
Guppy06: It’s true that North Dakota greatly resembles Siberia. Perhaps they should change their nickname to ‘The Gulag State’?
Car bomb in northern Baghdad, 16 people killed.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!1 TELEPROMPTER ALSO!11
The Red River in Fargo may rise to unprecedented levels this weekend
Michael Brown is somehow at fault for this. Or Jesus.
Serolf Divad: No, obviously, God is telling Pharoah Barry to let His people (the bankers) go.
The horrible floods of the 90s on the Red River were just heartbreaking. But this happens year after year, always the same: the emergency call for sandbaggers, the guys with Scandinavian last names in motorboats taking people off rooftops. It’s our local annual Katrina, only with hotdish instead of jambalya, the Ground Hog Day of the North.
For those people who have the common sense to not build houses in flood plains; you may not be familiar with some of the terms used in the Fargo article. Sand bagging is NOT tea bagging on the beach.
Say, Secretary Clinton, maybe it’s the insanely counterproductive drug war that…. (bag placed over head)
After all, it’s not like the Prohibition-era Canadian whiskey barons are much of a problem anymore, although we should send troops into Saskatchewan to make sure.
They still do that Chuck Yeager test pilot shit out in the desert, eh?
Wait a sec… no one has snickered at “erecting dikes” yet? What is going on here? You people must be hungover something fierce. Or sober… probably sober.
rmontcal:
I was just about to post some Dice Clay sorta thing regarding the “dikes”
“Secretary of State Clinton admitted that greedy drug fiends in the US do not help Mexico with its drug-violence problem.”
How do you say “well, duh” in Spanish?
rmontcal: I saw that headline & thought: ‘I didn’t know Melissa Etheridge & Rosie O’Donnell had moved to ND’. Will that work for you??
For those people who have the common sense to not build houses in flood plains
Too bad half of North Dakota is a flood plain.
Admittedly, I’m not sure why you’d build a house in North Dakota. If you’ve gotten that far north, may as well slip into Canada.
Unfortunately they failed to tell the pilot of the F-22 that he was participating in a new television series about the elite Washington field office of the FBI and a team of agents with exceptional and diverse skills who are called together for only the most critical cases. Sadly for all involved, the resulting crash and explosion sucked and will not make final cut.
rmontcal: I’ve learned through painful experience never to stick my finger in a dike taller than myself.
According to a very misleading headline over on HuffPo, Michael Steele is considering a run for the White House in 2012. In the article, it was much more of an “all options are on the table” type statement but, oh, sweet Jesus, wouldn’t that be fun.
So Fargo now has Dikes to Watch Out For?
The Republican Party has Bobby Jindal. Who is the spokesperson for the greedy drug fiends of America? I think they need to make a statement. They cannot let this accusation stand!
I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your dike work, there, Lou.
Since when has Dolly Parton lived in Fargo?
(SKS: you make this too easy, but I love you for it, in a lesbian kind of way.)
The problem with hastily-erected dikes is they’re liable to fall for the first cute guy who comes along.
Why does it always take something like three decades for a public official to stand up and make the biggest “THE EARTH IS ROUND, I SHIT YOU NOT” statement ever, a la Hillary and her observation of flawed drug policy and the problems caused by demand? I think it’s because even as I think, “well thanks for the assist there, Dr. Watson” I feel like standing up and applauding. The politicians sit on these stultifyingly obvious proclamations, so they are BIG DEALS when they finally say them.
Even if the terrorists will win by the time actual policy change arrives, this is reassuring. Even though it’s in crazy short supply, there is some common sense and basic observation skills in our government.
I wonder if hippie drug users will realize that their Mexican drugs are actually hurting Mexico and start demanding American-grown weed. Localvore-ism reaches drug users! Alice Waters would be so proud.
Oh wait, I just remembered, Americans don’t give a shit about Mexico unless it is Spring Break and they are flying down to Cancun or TJ to watch child sex slaves fellate donkeys for a quarter.
Greedy drug fiends, that’s waaay harsh, man.
We prefer the term Enthusiastic Supporters of Latin America’s Native Pharmers
http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/local/articles/2009/03/26/20090326politics-insider0326.html
Mar. 26, 2009
In budget slashing proposal, Arizona Senate Majority Whip Pam Gorman [R – Villa Loco Trailer Park] wants the state’s prisons moved to Mexico, tambien.
Origami: I come from hippies, and I assure you, my people aren’t doing the Mexico thing anymore. The once-lovely beaches there are now crowded with panhellenic trash from our nations institutions of higher learning, like so many hundreds of beached whales.
The hippies now haz Costa Rica and Belize.
WadISay: It’s our local annual Katrina…
It’s a government plot to get all the white people out of North Dakota.
I though all the “hastily-created dikes” were sleeping with Samantha Ronson.
Fargo should hire some Dutch boys to put their fingers in the dikes. Then the town’s inhabitants can return to their Scandinavian roots by filming it all nd flogging it as a porno.
WadISay: Naked Bunny with a Whip: I’ve been to Fargo (several times, voluntarily, on vacation, believe it or not)… as much as I like Bonanzaville, the rest of the town/region is a big nothing… the tacky Harley & Peterbilt trinkets just serve to highlight the locals’ desperate need to get the fuck outta there! The comparison of ND to farmland Siberia seems unfortunately apt, and after a day or so, I can’t wait to get back across the Red River to beautiful Moorhead (slurp!) Minnesota, where people smile, everyone is named ‘Lars’, and the air feels fresher in my lungs… soooooo - as long as they can save the Hjemkomst and the Stave churches, I say let nature take it’s course… besides, I want to go fishing in Lake Agassiz again…
Origami: Wow - it cost a quarter now?!? Inflation strikes again…
I for one do not contribute to our horrible drug exchange surplus with Mexico. All I smoke is locally-produced, including bacon.
SomeNYGuy: yeah! - I thought it took 4 years at Bryn Mawr to build ‘em up right…