Wonkette
Here’s your tech nerd President Barack Obama on the YouTube, most likely reading off a TelePrompTer so as not to send Wall Street the wrong signals. He tells the Internet that it can send him questions to which he will respond, in Internet video form, during a Thursday morning pornographic feed.
“We’re going to take advantage of the Internet,” he explains, “to bring all of you to the White House to talk about the economy.” Hear that? When you turn on your Internet Thursday morning, it will use Obama Power to transport you to the White House, through a wormhole. This would never have been possible had he not recently seized the Internet.
As for the Most Popular questions at the moment, they are mostly from dirty fucking hippies, asking about marijuana.
It’s great that the White House is open for questions. But I’m waiting for the day where the White House is open for pancakes, 24/7. Like an IHOP, only with teleprompters.
Goddamit, Barry, get off my QVC tee vee machine. I do not want to buy your ShamWow.
Doesn’t this make him a super tuber?
Here’s my question about the economy:
Dear President Obama,
Seagate Technologies (STX)has nearly doubled since March 6, going from 3.11 to 5.96. Do you expect the stock to continue to rise? Should I hold my position or sell and lock in my gains?
And oh yeah…. BIG MEGA BOOYAH!
Didn’t that nice Mexican lady already ask him to legalize marijuana?
This is obviously a gimmick, as everyone knows the only legitimate internet questions come from gay, Republican ex-Marine prostitutes.
I swear to something a shit load of lefties actually thought this presidency was going to be a cross between Battleship Potemkin and Cheech and Chong.
The Cold Sea: Dude, don’t piss on my dream of having Tommy Chong elected president. If this was any kind of Democracy, it would have already happened.
Thursday. I’vvvvve, uh, been asked a number of questionsssss, uh, about TruckNutz. Aaaand to “Wonketeer, in mom’s basement,” no, you cannot haz wurld socializums yet.
I want to ask him what his favorite torrent engine, and if it requires an invitation, and if I can have one.
It’s official, the White House pet is a lolcat.
A team of crack chimpanzee writers are even now standing by in the White House basement to crank out responses to Internet questions. The primates have done some incredible, award winning work in the past. Who could ever forget the positive spin they put on the Iraq war:
“Wrewk rolfgtio pdhidwh bufidr=[\=[”
After all, that’s why so many Americans supported it.
This is just so the MSM can’t take pictures of his teleprompter. And yes, I’m going to ask him about legalizing marijuana. I do need to take a bath, come to think of it.
Colander: “engine IS,” obviously. I’m going to drink a glass of toilet water as punishment for handicapping myself.
I can’t see this enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtOoQFa5ug8
What I really want to know is if Politico won the afternoon.
The Cold Sea: Have to check Drudge for the answer to that one.
It’s (not) funny that the most obvious & logical way to end the Mexican civil war and stop wasting billions & billions of munnies now & forever more is to legalize drugs and yet you can’t even talk about it in the media, much less debate it.
Yeah, I know, HuffPo or Milton Friedman speak up occasionally, but they are not taken seriously by Jake Tapper and Chip Reid so it doesn’t count.
The prison industry has this country by the nuts. We are ruled by Wackenhut. Legalize drugs and Wackenhut & friends go outta business, as do many hundreds (thousands?) of dirty, shitty little dump towns around the country whose only business is the fucking jail they handjobbed their governors for.
My guess: It’s Gibbs who chooses the reporters Obama calls on and he’s sitting in the next room howling with sadistic laughter every time Hopey passes over a major media outlet. He always puts Chucky T. on the list, though, because Todd’s questions are so lame they’re good for extra chuckles. I’ll bet he has the worst ones on a continuous loop that he plays at night when he can’t sleep.
The TelePrompTer is just the tip of the iceberg with this Nobama fellow, it seems! If you look carefully, you’ll notice that he also always seems to use a MicRoPhone to amplify and project his voice! By ElecTriCity!
Abe Lincoln and George Washington needed no such critches!!! And neither did Jesus, for that matter. Also!!!
Jukesgrrl: Chucky T is like one of those patsy schools that Oklahoma or USC plays early in the college football season to wrack up a big win and get some practice for the starting lineup.
Oh dude! now I understand why he pinches his index finger and thumb together like that… he wants somebody to pass him the dutchie! through the intertubes! H.E.L.L.O.!1!!!
sarahconnor: I. m. listening!!1!!1!hobospacejungle: word.
comradepaulson: Feh, I’m waiting for the White House to be open for Happy Hour; 1/2 price arugula appetizers.
It would be a good idea for Obama to take questions about energy policy and renewable energy research whenever possible.